The following is not a novelization or an actual script but a dry transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, settings descriptions, action scenes and/or camera movements where the transcriber felt they were necessary. This transcript is posted on "TWIZ TV.COM" in world wide web exclusivity by courtesy of NIKKI.
I do not own the characters in the story (if only). "THE OFFICE" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and © by REVEILLE PRODUCTIONS and NBC UNIVERSAL TELEVISION. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain. For entertainment and educational purposes only. No infringement intended.
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TRANSCRIPT:
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Guest star: Paul Lieberstein (Toby), Angela Kinsey (Angela), Melora Hardin (Jan Levinson-Gould), Kate Flannery (Meredith), Leslie David Baker (Stanley), Mindy Kaling (Kelly), David Denman (Roy), Oscar Nunez (Oscar), Brian Baumgartner (Kevin) , Amy Adams II (Katy), Phyllis Smith (Phyllis)



OPENING CREDITS (With that awesome Jay Ferguson music)

INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE

(Michael is sticking pencils upright in his keyboard)

Jan: (on speaker phone) Are you listening to me Michael?

Michael: Affirmative.

Jan: What did I just say?

Michael: You just said...let me uh...just check my notes. (starts rustling random papers) You just said...

Jan: Alan and I have created an incentive program-

Michael: Hey, hey! How is Alan? Tell Alan that the Mets suck. Okay? From me, big time. Go Pirates!

Jan: I'm not going to do that Michael. We've created an incentive program to increase sales.

Michael: Uh huh.

Jan: At the end of the month you can reward your top seller with a prize worth up to one thousand dollars.

Michael: Whoa. Howdy-ho. Wow. A thousand big ones. That's cool. Do I uh...get to pick the prize?

Jan: Uh, yes. Yes, you can.

Michael: Um, question. Does top salesman include, uh, people who were at one time, uh, such outstanding salesmen that they've been promoted to...

Jan: No, Michael. No. You can't win this prize.

Michael: I didn't mean me.

CUT TO SHOT OF OFFICE

(Jim is yawning on the phone and Oscar is doing some highlighting)

CUT BACK TO MICHAEL'S OFFICE

Michael: Well, first what we have to do is find out what motivates people more than anything else.

Dwight: (OS) Sex.

(Camera zooms out to reveal Dwight standing behind Michael)

Michael: It's illegal, can't do that. Next best thing.

Dwight: Torture.

Michael: Come on, Dwight. Just, help me out here. This is stupid.

Pam: (OS) Um, Michael...

Michael: Pam!

Pam: Hey, there's-

Michael: Burger with cheese.

Pam: There's a person here-

Michael: And fries.

Pam: There's a-

Michael: And shake. What? Go ahead.

Pam: There's a person here who wants to sell handbags.

Michael: No no no. No vendors in the office. That is a distraction.

Pam: Okay, I told her you'd talk to her at least.

Michael: Pam, come on, I'm busy. So just tell her to go away.

Pam: Okay.

(Pam leaves, Michael looks out to reception to see the hand bag lady and sees that she's pretty hot)

Michael: (changing mind) Alright, I'll talk to her.

CUT TO RECEPTION

(Katy, the purse girl, is showing Pam some hand bags)

Katy: This one is hand-embroidered.

(Michael enters with Dwight in tow)

Michael: Alright girls, break it up, you're being infiltrated. Cock in the hen house.

Dwight: Cocks in the hen house.

Michael: Don't say cocks. No. (offers hand to Katy) Uh, what is your name, my fair lass?

Katy: (shaking Michael's hand) Katy.

Michael: Ah, Katy. Wow, look at you. You are, uh, you're like the new and improved Pam. Pam 6.0.

(Quick shot of Pam reacting to that statement)

Michael: Oh, look! Oh hey, no cat fights, you two. I'm against violence in the workplace.

Dwight: So am I.

Michael: Nobody cares what you think.

Dwight: Doesn't matter.

Michael: So, uh, I usually don't allow solicitors in the office, but, uh, today...

(Dwight starts staring at Katy)

Michael: I am going to break some rules. And you can have the conference room. It's yours all day.

Katy: Wow, thanks.

Pam: There's an HR meeting in there at 11:30.

Michael: Well, let's put 'em in the hallway, give them some chairs. Right? Decisiveness. One of the keys to success, according to Small Businessman. (VO) I do.

CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL

Michael: I read small businessman. I also, uh, subscribe to USA Today and American Way, um, magazine, that's the in-flight magazine. Some great articles in that. They did this great profile last month of Doris Roberts. And where she likes to eat when she's in Phoenix. Illuminating.

CUT TO CONFERENCE ROOM

Michael: This is my conference room, so please, uh, make yourself at home. Whatever you need, I'm right on the other side of this wall. (knocks on wall) There used to be a window here. There's not anymore. So that's where I will be.

(Katy starts setting up, ignoring Michael)

Michael: So...(clears throat). If you need anything else, something to make you more comfortable, just don't hesitate to ask, I'm right, uh, here.

Katy: I guess a cup of coffee would be great.

Michael: Waaaait a second! Oh, i should have spotted another addict. Oh, gotta love the 'bucks.

Katy: What?

Michael: It's like a slang for Starbucks. They're all over the place. Oh, man. That place is like the promised land to me.

(Katy looks uncomfortably at the camera)

Michael: What a business model, too. Ooooh, too bad we don't have the good stuff here.

Katy: A regular coffee is fine.

Michael: No, it's not, it's...

Katy: No, really it is.

Michael: No, here's the thing. You know...I do my best to...to be my own man and...(Katy looks at the camera unsure of how to react to Michael)...go by the beat of a different drummer. And nobody gets me. And they're always putting up walls and I'm always tearing 'em down. Just breaking down barriers, that's what I do all day. So, a coffee. Regular coffee. For you. High test or unleaded?

Katy: Um, bring it on. Yeah.

Michael: Oh! Woo! I will. I'll bring it on. Aright.

CUT TO RECEPTION

(Pam is working and Kevin comes up behind her)

Kevin: So, are you jealous because there's another girl around?

Pam: No.

Kevin: She's prettier than you, though.

Pam: (pauses) That's a very, rude thing to say, Kevin.

(Kevin nods and leaves)

CUT TO CONFERENCE ROOM

(Dwight and Kevin can be seen in the background drinking water and staring at Katy)

Katy: (talking to someone)...suit you. I can see you pairing it with gloves.

Dwight: (VO) The purse girl hits everything on my check list.

CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF DWIGHT

Dwight: Creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

CUT TO CONFERENCE ROOM

Michael: There you go, nice, steaming hot cup of joe.

Katy: Thank you.

Michael: I have an idea. Why don't I introduce you around? You know, you can kind of get your foot in the door, meet potential clientele. Right?

(They start heading out into the office area)

Katy: Gosh, I would love to, but my purses. I should um...

Michael: Oh, uh, well, um, we can have Ryan take a...Ryan would you look after the purses, please?

Ryan: Uh, I'm installing file share on all the computers.

Michael: Oh, well blah dee bloo dee blah blah. (to Katy) Techno babble. (to Ryan) Just do it. Okay? We have company. Right?

CUT TO KITCHEN AREA

Michael: You should sell a lot here because this branch made over $1 million last year. Not that we're all millionaires. I'm probably closest. (laughs) So...here's Oscar. Oscar...(pushes Oscar who hits his head on the wall)...this is Katy.

Oscar: (annoyed) I'm on the phone.

Michael: Ooh ooh ooh, Oscar the grouch. Right? Yeah, I thought of that. Yeah.

Katy: That was on Sesame Street.

Michael: I know. I know. I know. I made the connection. Can you believe he'd never heard that before he worked here?

Katy: No, I don't believe that.

(They pass Pam as she comes out of the bathroom)

Michael: It's unbelievable.

(Pam watches them pass before walking back to reception)

Pam: (VO) It's nice having Katy around.

CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF PAM

Pam: It's another person for Michael to um...(smiles) interact with.

CUT TO BACK OFFICE AREA

Michael: Here is Toby from Human Resources.

Toby: Hi.

Katy: Hi. (shakes Toby's hand)

Michael: Katy, Toby. Toby, Katy.

Toby: Hey, (points to Katy's ring) did you go to, uh, Bishop O'Hara?

Katy: (looks at ring) Yeah.

Toby: Yeah, me too. What class...

Katy: Cool, what year were you there?

Toby: '89...

Michael: (interjecting) Toby's divorced. He uh, God. Recently, right?  You and your wife. And you have kids?

Katy: Oh.

Toby: I have a girl.

Michael: That's so, it was really messy. You slept one night in your car, too.

(Toby just sits there and bravely takes it)

Katy: I should probably get back to my table.

Michael: Okay, all right. Cool. See you in a bit.

(Katy leaves, Michael turns to Toby's bulletin board)

Michael: Oh, she's cute. Cutie pie. (quick shot of a picture of Toby's daughter on his desk) Back to work. (VO) I live by one rule.

CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL

Michael: (With both his arms behind his head) No office romances. No way. Very messy, inappropriate. No. But, I live by another rule. Just do it. Nike.

CUT TO KITCHEN AREA

(Pam, Roy, and Jim are eating their lunches, Kevin is getting something out of the fridge)

Roy: Hey, Jimmy, what do you think about that, uh, little purse girl, huh?

Jim: Cute, sure, yeah.

Roy: Why don't you get on that?

Jim: She's not really my type.

Roy: What are you, gay?

Jim: Umm, (pretends to think about it) I don't think so, nope.

(Pam smiles at that comment)

Roy: Well, what is your type?

(Jim looks at Pam, Pam looks up from her salad at the same time to hear his answer)

(Jim looks at Roy, then at Pam one more time)

Jim: Moms, primarily. Yep. Soccer moms, single moms, NASCAR moms, any type of mom, really.

(Pam gets an amused smile before continuing her salad)

Roy: That's disgusting.

Kevin: Stay away from my mom.

Jim: Too late, Kev.

(Katy enters the kitchen and goes to the ladies room)

(Jim watches her briefly, then looks back at Roy)

Roy: Man, I would be all over that if I wasn't dating Pam.

Pam: We're not dating, we're engaged.

Roy: Engaged, yeah.

(Pam waits for an apology, then puts down her fork and walks out of the kitchen)

(Jim continues eating, Roy says nothing and continues eating as well)

CUT TO RECEPTION

(Pam walks to her desk, grabs a file off the counter and throws it on a table)

Jim: (VO) Pam and I are good buddies. I'm sort of Pam's go-to guy for her problems.

CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF JIM

Jim: You know, with stuff like work or, ah, her fiancé, Roy. Or um...nope, those are pretty much her only two problems.

CUT TO JIM AND DWIGHT'S DESK AREA

(The camera is zoomed in on Katy arranging purses)

Jim: (OS) She'd be perfect for you.

Dwight: (OS) Mmmm...She's been talking to Michael a lot.

Jim: So what? You're assistant regional manager.

Dwight: Assistant TO the regional manager.

Jim: Well, you know what, he's your work boss. Okay? He is not your relationship boss.

Dwight: That's true.

Jim: Plus, you have so much more to talk to this girl about. You're both um...salesmen. I mean that's something right there.

Dwight: True. Plus I could talk to her about the origins of my last name.

Jim: It's all gold. (gets scheming smile)

CUT TO CONFERENCE ROOM

Katy: (to camera) Guys are usually my best customers. They buy the high-end stuff, the beads and the sequins and stuff. For gifts, you know. They don't know what they're looking at, so, I make suggestions.

CUT BACK TO JIM AND DWIGHT'S DESK AREA

Jim: Alright, here's the thing. Just keep talking to her. If you hit a stall, you have a perfect fall-back.

Dwight: What's that?

Jim: You buy a purse.

Dwight: I don't want a purse. Purses are for girls.

Jim: Dwight, that's not necessarily true. Do you read GQ?

Dwight: No.

Jim: Well, I do. They're like mini briefcases. Alright, lots of guys have them.

Dwight: Like those?

Jim: Yes. Listen, you are spending way too much time talking to me, when you could be talking to her.

Dwight: (standing up) Okay, I'm just gonna use the bathroom and then I'm gonna...

Jim: (standing up as well) You don't need the bathroom. You've got it. Go. (pushes Dwight towards the conference room, then takes off to reception)

CUT TO RECEPTION

Pam: (on phone) ...put me down on Friday...

(Jim comes around the corner and hangs her phone up)

Jim: Okay, shh. Stop, (puts her receiver in the holder) whatever you're doing. 'Cause this is going to be good.

(The camera stays at reception, but swings over to show Dwight in the conference room)

Jim: (VO) (in a falsetto voice, narrating for Dwight) Hi, my name's Dwight Schrute and I would like to buy a purse from you. Good Lord! Look at these purses.

(The camera swings back to Jim and Pam)

(Pam is laughing)

Jim: (still in falsetto) This is something special.

(Swing back to Dwight picking up a big orange purse)

Jim: (in voice) Oh, my God. In this Salvatore de Chini...asta?

(Swing back to Jim)

Pam: (narrating for Katy) Oh definitely, definitely step in and out of it like that.

(Swing back to Dwight who is stepping around the purse strap)

Jim: (in voice) Yes.

Pam: (in voice) You put it on...

Jim: (in voice) Well, I want to stress test it, you know, in case anything happens.

(Dwight is now banging another purse against the table)

Jim: (in voice) Oh!

Pam: (in voice) Oh!

Jim: (in voice) That was really...this is necessary to do to really give it a good workout. This is the...this is the prettiest one of all. I'm going to be the prettiest girl in the ball. Oh, how much?

Pam: (in normal voice) Oh, God. It's sad. It's so sad.

Jim: Here he comes, shh.

(Dwight comes out of the conference room holding a black purse, he looks over at Jim for approval)

Jim: (silently mouths) Good. (gives Dwight a thumbs up)

(Dwight walks back to his desk wearing the purse)

(Jim and Pam silently laugh)

Jim: He did pick a good one.

Pam: You're horrible.

CUT TO CONFERENCE ROOM

(Katy is showing Pam some purses)

Katy: This one's really a good one for a hot date.

Pam: Yeah? What's that? (they both laugh, holds up her ring) I'm engaged.

Katy: Oh, congratulations. You need a hot date more than anyone.

Pam: I wish, right?

(Michael enters)

Michael: Giggle, giggle, chuchee, chuchee...I get it, I get it. Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood over here. Right? (To Katy) So how was that coffee from earlier?

Katy: I was good.

Michael: I knew it. Guzzled it down, you greedy little thing. So, uh, Pam, is this your lunch break or was that earlier when you were eating in the kitchen with those guys?

(Pam looks at Katy and gives her back her purse)

Pam: Sorry.

Michael: Busted.

Katy: (to Pam) Come back.

Michael: Oh hey, I want to, uh, I want to show you something. Come here. I know you are gonna like this. I picked it up today, a thousand big ones.

(They go into Michael's office where there is a box on his desk)

Katy: Is that from Starbucks?

Michael: Yes. This is a Starbucks digital barista. This is the Mack Daddy of espresso makers.

Katy: Wow, is that for the office?

Michael: Well, oh, I know what you're thinking. You're not prying this out of my hands. (laughs)

(Katy laughs nervously)

Michael: Don't tempt me because I'll give it to you.

Katy: I wouldn't think of it.

CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL

Michael: Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office. It's a drug. It is quite literally a drug, that speeds up people. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the '80s, before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. God...MAN, did they move paper.

CUT BACK TO MICHAEL'S OFFICE

(Michael is trying to impress Katy by reading the features of the machine)

Michael: The rotating...(looks up) steam wand.

(Katy isn't listening, but instead looking at her phone)

(She closes it looking a little upset)

Michael: What? What's the matter?

Katy: Oh, nothing. Ah, my ride just bailed on me.

Michael: Oh. Oh! Well, God, I'm sorry. Where are you going? Nearby? Because I could give you a ride.

Katy: (looks a little scared) No.

Michael: Sure?

Katy: I-I don't want to inconvenience you.

Michael: Oh God. No no no no. No inconvenience. I'm out of here at five sharp.

Katy: No, at five?

Michael: I can go earlier because I'm the boss. You know. Whatever. I'm outta here, slaves.

Katy: Oh, okay.

Michael: (surprised) What?

Katy: Okay.

Michael: Okay.

Katy: Okay, I guess that would be okay.

Michael: Okay, sounds good. Sounds good. Five o'clock sharp, I will give you and your purses a ride home.

Katy: Ok, cool. (leaves back to the conference room)

Michael: Excellent. Great. Great. Cool. Cool. (looks at the camera, smiles) Yeah, okay.

CUT TO MICHAEL AND DWIGHT IN MICHAEL'S OFFICE

(Dwight is on Michael's computer)

Michael: I should have never let the temp touch this thing. I had all these great icons and now I have four folders. So...

Dwight: It's actually better this way.

Michael: No it's not. Because I could just click on the icon and then I'm onto something.

Dwight: Michael, could I ask you something? I wanted to ask your permission to ask out Katy. I know it's against the rules and everything.

Michael: No, no, no, it's not against the rules. (clears throat) She is not a-a permanent employee, so it's not.

Dwight: Thank you Michael. I appreciate this so much.

Michael: But I think that you should just know that I am going to be giving her a ride home later.

Dwight: What?

Michael: She asked me for a ride, so I'm going to give her a ride home.

Dwight: Is that all it is? Just a ride home like a taxicab?

Michael: Well, it might be a ride home and we stop for coffee and...dot, dot, dot.

Dwight: Please. Please. I am your inferior and I'm asking you this favor. Can you promise me that it will just be a ride home?

Michael: No. I cannot promise you.

Dwight: You cannot promise me, or you won't promise me?

Michael: Listen, Dwight.

Dwight: Do you love her?

Michael: Dwight, no. I don't know. It's too early to tell. I...I don't know how I feel.

(Dwight looks at the camera, then looks down very sadly)

CUT TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM

(Katy is selling a purse to Stanley)

Katy: You've made a good choice. She's really going to like that.

(Michael enters)

Michael: Espresso?

Katy: Oh thank you.

Michael: You're welcome. There you go. Mmm mmm mmm.

Stanley: Is that from the machine that was in your office?

Michael: (making a face from the bitterness) Mm-hm.

Stanley: I thought that was the incentive prize for the top salesperson?

Michael: Very easy to clean. (Stanley walks off) Okay. Like he's gonna win anyway. (starts laughing) Right?

CUT TO DWIGHT'S DESK

(Dwight is working away with the handbag around his shoulder, he glances over at the conference room to see if Katy is looking)

CUT TO MICHAEL'S OFFICE

(Pam is sitting across from Michael)

Michael: So did we get any mail?

Pam: Yeah, I gave it to you.

Michael: Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Just checking, double-checking. Checking on the check. Thoroughness is very important in an office. And...

Pam: So can I...

Michael: Yeah, of course. Um, Pam, one more thing. How do girls your age feel about futons?

(Pam just looks at the camera)

CUT TO JIM'S DESK

(Pam is sitting on Jim's desk)

Jim: A futon? He's a grown man.

Pam: That's what he said.

Jim: That's sad. (Pam starts laughing) Or it's innovative. You know the futon in a bed and couch all rolled into one. (notices Roy and stops talking to Pam)

Roy: What's up?

Pam: (curtly) Hi.

Roy: Are you still mad at me?

Pam: Roy...

Roy: Come on. (tries to tickle Pam)

Pam: Cut it out.

(Meanwhile, Jim is trying his best not to notice what is going on beside him by focusing on the computer)

Roy: Come on, are you mad at me?

Pam: Stop it.

Roy: Are you still mad at me now? (Tickling her now)

Pam: Cut it out. (Laughs) Stop!

Roy: (playfully) Are you mad at me now?

Pam: (laughing) Stop!

(Pam starts squirming and bumps Jim)

Roy: Come on.

(Jim looks at the camera then stands up and leaves)

Roy: Come on Pammy.

Pam: Stop I can't breathe.

Roy: (sing song) I was just kidding. You know I didn't mean it.

(Jim is still walking away and all we hear is Pam's laughter)

CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF PAM

Pam: Jim's a great guy. He's like a brother to me. We're like best friends in the office and...I really hope he finds someone.

CUT TO CONFERENCE ROOM

(Katy is showing Angela some purses)

Katy: You seem to like to touch things. Try the velvet.

(The camera swings around to Dwight's desk, he is nervously playing with a rubber band ball)

Angela: (OS) I don't like to necessarily touch things, I'm just...I'm shopping.

Katy: (OS) Oh, no, it-it's fine that you...here. What about the raspberry one? It's really, um...

(Dwight finally gets up and heads into the conference room)

Katy: (OS) ...kind of festive. It's got a lot of personality.

Dwight: How's it going? Good. Can I talk to you for a second in private?

Katy: I don't think so, I'm busy.

Dwight: It will just take a second.

Katy: I can't.

Dwight: Just for a minute. Please.

Katy: I-I really can't.

Dwight: I wanted to talk to you in private because I wanted to ask you out on a date.

Katy: No.

(Dwight looks down and starts to walk out, but stops)

Dwight: Okay, was that no to talking to me in private or was that no to the date?

Katy: Both.

(Dwight slowly walks out of the room dejected)

Katy: (to Angela) What colors do you like?

Angela: Gray, dark gray, charcoal...

CUT TO RYAN AT PHYLLIS' DESK

(Michael walks up)

Michael: Ryan. Would you like to help me with a special project?

Ryan: I would love to.

Michael: Al-right.

CUT TO PARKING LOT

(Michael and Ryan are in Michael's car)

Michael: Okay, just throw out all the empties.

Ryan: You don't want to recycle them?

Michael: Um...(looks at camera) yes. Throw them away in the recycling bin.

Ryan: (holds up a bottle with water still inside) Do you want this?

Michael: (thinks about it) No.

Ryan: What about this bottle of power drink?

Michael: What flavor?

Ryan: Blue.

Michael: Blue's not a flavor.

Ryan: It says, "Flavor, blue blast."

Michael: Oh, blue blast. Yes, put that in the trunk. And there should be an unopened Arctic Chill back there. I want that in the passenger's cup holder. Thank you.

CUT BACK TO OFFICE, JIM'S DESK

(Jim is sitting at his desk, contemplating, then gets up and heads into the conference room)

Jim: Hi.

Katy: Hi.

Jim: I'm Jim by the way

Katy: I'm Katy.

(They shake hands)

Jim: Hi Katy, nice to meet you.

Katy: You sit out there don't you?

Jim: I do. That's what I'm best known for,

(And for the first time since she got there Katy genuinely laughs)

Jim: ...sitting out there. Alright, let's talk about purses.

Katy: Okay, um...

Jim: Katy, but, you know what? Don't try to sell me one. Okay? Seriously, because I'm just here to learn.

Katy: (laughs) Okay.

Jim: So I know about most of these, but...

Katy: (laughs) Okay.

CUT TO PARKING LOT

(Ryan and Michael are still cleaning this car out, Ryan is throwing a cologne bottle in the trash)

Michael: What's up? Whoa! That's my Drakkar Noir.

Ryan: (looks at bottle) No, this is Rite Aid - Night Sweat.

Michael: No, it is a perfect smell-alike. I'm not paying for the label. Right here, give it.

Ryan: Well it's empty.

Michael: No, it's not. There's some in the straw.

(Michael screws the top off and starts brushing his neck with the straw)

Michael: There, now you may throw it out.

(Ryan surveys his bag of trash)

Ryan: Wow. How many Filet-O-Fishes did you eat?

Michael: That's over several months, Ryan.

Ryan: Still...

CUT TO OFFICE

(Pam is sitting on Jim's desk)

Jim: What's up?

Pam: I'm bored.

Jim: Thank you for choosing me.

(Pam laughs)

Pam: No, I'm kidding. Um, so you got big plans this weekend?

Jim: Uh...well, I think I'm going to see Katy.

Pam: (not the answer she was expecting) Really?

Jim: Yeah.

Pam: What are you guys going to do?

Jim: Oh man, I don't know. Dinner. Drinks, movie, matching tattoos.

Pam: (slight laugh) That's great. That's cool.

Jim: Big stuff. Yeah. What are you doing?

Pam: I-I was going to say that I think, um, we're going to help Roy's cousin move.

Jim: Okay.

Pam: 'Cause Roy's got a truck.

Jim: That's cool

Pam: Uh huh.

Jim: Yes.

Pam: That is cool.

Jim: I'll see you Monday, though, right?

Pam: Great.

Jim: Okay.

Pam: Okay, I'm going to head back.

Jim: Alright.

(Pam sits back down at her desk)

Michael: (VO) I think in order to be a ladies' man...

CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL

Michael: It's imperative that people don't know you're a ladies' man. So I kinda play that close to the chest.

CUT TO MICHAEL UNFOLDING A MAP OF SCRANTON

Michael: (VO) I don't know, what can I say? Women are attracted to power. And I think...

CUT BACK TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL

Michael: Other people have told me I have a very symmetrical face. (Michael shows the camera both sides of his face) (laughs) So I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they're right. I don't know.

CUT TO RECEPTION

(Pam is looking in a mirror and putting lip gloss on her lips)

(She looks up and notices the camera on her)

(She puts the lip gloss and mirror away and tries to casually cover her mouth)

CUT TO PARKING LOT

Michael: Sure you don't want me to help you with that? Cause I can grab that no problem.

Katy: Goodnight. It was nice to meet some of you.

Michael: See you later! Goodnight.

(Michael, Katy, and Jim are walking together)

Michael: Goodnight Jim.

Jim: Goodnight Michael.

Michael: Where are you going?

Jim: I don't know (points his thumb to Katy) To grab a drink, I think.

Michael: With us?

Katy: I um, I probably should have told you. I don't need a ride now 'cause Jim can take me home after. So, you're off the hook.

Michael: Okay great. Off the hook, excellent. Okay cool.

Jim: I got this.

Michael: Alright, have fun.

Katy: Thank you.

Michael: Don't drink and drive. Take it easy.

(Jim picks up Katy's suitcase)

Jim: Have a good night.

Michael: You too. Have a good night.

Katy: You got that?

Jim: Oh, yeah.

(The camera follows Michael to his car, he tries to wave them off)

Jim: You sold a lot, so it's lighter.

Katy: Yeah.

(Michael starts his car, Jim is in the background putting the luggage in his trunk, Michael leaves)

Katy: Here. Squeeze it inside.

Jim: Now, I'm gonna warn you, don't freak out. Okay?

(In the background, Roy backs out of his spot with Pam in the passenger's seat)

Katy: Why?

Jim: This is a really nice car. In case you haven't noticed, this is a Corolla. Okay?

(Roy drives off, Pam watches Jim as they leave)

Katy: It's a- It's a very nice car.

Jim: So you're not going to freak out.

(Jim holds the door open for Katy)

Michael: (VO) Do I have a special someone?

CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL

Michael: Uh, well, yeah. Of course. A bunch of them. My employees. If I had to choose between a one-night stand with some stupid cow I'd pick up at a bar, and these people, I'd pick them every time. Because with them, it is an every-day stand. And I still know their names in the morning.

THE END

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Transcribed by NIKKI for http://www.twiztv.com
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