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TRANSCRIPT:
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Previously on The Hills…

Lauren: (V.O.) After Audrina caught Justin with another girl…

Audrina: I saw you guys kissing at the bar!

Lauren: (V.O.) She was finally ready to move on.

Audrina: It should just be over and let’s just be friends.

Lauren: (V.O.) Heidi thought she was headed towards a fairytale wedding. But she was having her own troubles with Spencer.

Spencer: We’re going to Las Vegas to get married.

Heidi: Spence…

Lauren: (V.O.) And now Spencer’s sister was on the scene.

Stephanie: Heidi’s my family now. When you hate my brother, it makes me hate you.

Lauren: (V.O.) And Brody and I had been off and on forever. So I had to figure out if I could ever get serious about him.

Brody: I think there’s too many pillows in between us. (She snuggles up to him) Oh!

Lauren: (V.O.) I knew Brody liked me. But he also had his eye on every other girl in LA.

CUT TO: Taste

Brody and Lauren are sitting outside, looking at menus.

Brody: Should we get some calamari? No…do you like calamari?

Lauren: I like calamari.

Brody: Your eyes look very beautiful.

Lauren: Thank you.

Brody: They look very bluish.

Lauren: They are blue.

Brody: I thought they were green.

Lauren: They’re blue with yellow in the middle.

Brody: I gotta get some eyes like that.

Lauren: I like your eyes. (Brody looks at a girl walking by which Lauren can’t help but notice)

Brody: So…anything else new and exciting in your life? Talk to Jen Bunney at all lately?

Lauren: I think Jen might be coming tonight to my Halloween party.

Brody: Oh really? That’s cool though.

Lauren: Yeah you guys can hang out.

Brody: Oh yeah. (He laughs) Couple little cuties over there… (He notices her upset face) Kidding.

CUT TO: Opening Credits

CUT TO: Teen Vogue Offices

Whitney: What are you gonna do for Halloween?

Lauren: I think…Audrina and I were talking about like having a Halloween party but…

Whitney: Oh my gosh that should be fun.

Lauren: It’ll be fun just ‘cause we’ve never had one in our apartment.

Whitney: Mm-hmm.

Lauren: And Audrina’s inviting a couple of her guys friends.

Whitney: Ooh!

Lauren: Oh my god and she’s inviting a guy.

Whitney: Ooh!

Lauren: JB’s replacement.

Whitney: Special night…

Lauren: I haven’t met him yet either so I’m excited to meet him.

Whitney: Oh my gosh. You and Brody doing a little like couple costume action?

Lauren: Please, he’ll couple up with Frankie before me. (Whitney laughs) I guarantee that’s…

Whitney: Dumb and dumber.

Lauren: (She gasps) They should do dumb and dumber. But which one’s dumber?

Whitney: They should be the guys from Night at the Roxbury. What’s their last name?

Lauren: They would have to (Bops her head like the brothers in the movie) do this the whole time.

Whitney: Wait so what’s going on with Brody?

Lauren: (She shrugs) Same thing as always.

Whitney: Same thing as always? What…what’s that mean though?

Lauren: Brody’s a good guy…

Whitney: Mm-hmm.

Lauren: He’s really nice, very good looking…

Whitney: Mm-hmm.

Lauren: But Brody likes his ladies.

Whitney: Brody does like his ladies. And you don’t need to be one among a million. (Lauren shakes her head) I just know that when I’m around the two of you guys, like I can definitely sense some sort of chemistry.

Lauren: Yeah.

CUT TO: Heidi & Spencer’s Apartment

Heidi is talking with Stephanie about her problems with Spencer.

Heidi: Thanks for coming over and talking to me about this. I know you know Spencer better than anyone and I just kinda wanted to like talk to you for a minute and see what you thought. I don’t think Spencer told you but we got in this huge fight the other night ‘cause he wanted to elope.

Stephanie: What?

Heidi: So I was like ‘Are you kidding me, like you want to go elope?’ And so he got so mad at me and he left and he like…he didn’t call me that night and I was just so upset. I was like ‘How could you just leave me? Like I wouldn’t leave you…ever’.

Stephanie: That’s so not like him.

Heidi: I know. You know, he’s just over it and I’m burnt out and it’s all happening so fast and I feel like if anything it’s just kind of like tearing us apart.

Stephanie: You know that he loves you and I’m sure he knows you love him and…

Heidi: I know. You know like I want to be engaged and I want to get married but maybe we should postpone this and wait a little bit, like what’s the harm in waiting, you know? (Heidi shrugs) Yeah…But please don’t, you know, like tell him anything.

Stephanie: Oh of course.

Heidi: I know that you won’t but just gotta say in case, you know. I know you’re his sister and everything.

Stephanie: Yeah.

CUT TO: That Night – Hillside Villas

Everyone is there for Lauren and Audrina’s Halloween party. Brody and Frankie are dressed as batman and robin.

Brody: (To Frankie trying to remove his batman mask) Don’t f**king take that off bro.

Frankie: Bro, it’s so hot in here.

Brody: No that’s our costume bro. You don’t…

Lauren: Whitney, what do you think of batman and robin?

Whitney: It’s more like Siegfried and Roy. (She laughs)

Frankie: (To Whitney) Hey you know what? (He points a finger at her)

Audrina: Good job batman. (Casey, Audrina’s sister, takes a picture. Shows everyone having fun. Lauren is sipping a drink as she look at Brody laughing it up with Frankie. Then someone uses the smoke machine, which gets it everywhere and makes people cough)

Lauren: All right we’re gonna turn off the smoke for a while. (Audrina coughs from the smoke)

Audrina: I can’t breathe. (Cut to people playing beer pong. Lauren throws the little ball and it goes in, which people cheer)

Jen: Amazing.

Guy: (to Brody) I’m not gonna lie. We just lost to Lauren.

Brody: Oh my god. (Lauren bows) Great job ladies!

Lauren: Thank you.

Brody: Amazing job. Jen, you too.

Jen: We just won.

Brody: What?

Jen: We just won.

Brody: I know.

Lauren: (To Jen) That’s why he’s saying good job.

Brody: What do you think I’m saying great job for?

Jen: Oh. (Cut to Audrina opening the door for people coming in, including her date Corey)

Audrina: Hi.

Corey: Hello, hello.

Audrina: Do you like my costume? How are you?

Corey: (Hugs her) I’m doing all right. How you doin’? (It cuts over to Brody and Jen)

Brody: (To Jen) Are you gonna say hi?

Jen: Hi. (Hugs Brody) Hi.

Brody: I thought you were gonna ignore me. I see how it is.

Jen: What? (Laure, who is watching gives them the I’m watching you thing)

Brody: Lauren… (She laughs. Then it cuts to the kitchen where Audrina is introducing Corey to people)

Audrina: (To her sister Casey) This is Corey. This is my sister Casey (Casey and Corey shake hands) and her fiancée Erin.

Casey: Hello.

Corey: How you doin’? Nice to meet you.

Audrina: I’m glad you guys came.

Corey: Made it but just.

Audrina: Well you’re still here.

Corey: It’s all good. (Audrina brings Corey over to Lauren and Brody)

Audrina: Brody, Lauren, I want to introduce you guys to Corey.

Brody: Corey, what up man, how you doin’? (They shake hands)

Corey: How you doin’ Brody? I’m Corey.

Corey: Nice to meet you.

Brody: Very nice to meet you. 

Lauren: (Shakes Corey’s hand) Lauren, nice to meet you.

Corey: Nice to meet you.

Audrina: He’s from Australia.

Brody: Where in Australia are you from?

Corey: Brisbane.

Brody: Oh Brisbane?

Corey: Yeah, yeah.

Brody: Aussies are the best

Audrina: Yeah they are.

Brody: I love Aussies. All right baby I gotta bounce.

Lauren: You gonna give me a nice hug? (She hugs him)

Brody: A cape hug.

Lauren: Do you have to leave right now?

Brody: I’m sorry I was little underdressed here but…oh wait I got a good side, hey! (Now next to Audrina) All right, Audrina.

Audrina: Bye.

Brody: (To Corey, shaking his hand) Very nice to meet you.

Corey: You too.

Brody: I’ll talk to you again.

Corey: See you soon.

Brody: All right. (Whitney gives Lauren a sad look, knowing Lauren is sad Brody is leaving already. Cut to outside Hillside Villas as Brody and Frankie drive away then cut to inside the apartment on Lauren’s sad face)

CUT TO: The Next Day – Hillside Villas

Audrina is in the kitchen cleaning up from the party when Lauren comes in and sits at the counter.

Audrina: Hi. This is a mess. (Taking liquor bottles and putting them away) It’s too bad that Brody and Frankie left so early. I barely remember even saying goodbye to ‘em. It was just chaos. They must have went to another party.

Lauren: Sometimes it doesn’t work out. 

Audrina: Mm-hmm.

Lauren: That’s okay. That doesn’t matter though.

Audrina: I know. But…

Lauren: But the good thing is everybody’s a fan of Corey.

Audrina: Everyone loves him. He’s nice, huh?

Lauren: I really like him.

Audrina: I know. We’re going on a date tonight.

Lauren: Are you really?

Audrina: Yeah

Lauren: I think it’ll be fun. You’ll have fun.

Audrina: He didn’t know anyone and he like…

Lauren: See? That’s so good and he was like nice to everybody, you know what I mean? He made an effort which really shows that he likes you.

Audrina: It shows a lot.

CUT TO: Store

Spencer and Stephanie are walking to a store to pick up save the date cards for the wedding.

Spencer: (Opens the door) After you my dear. (Stephanie goes inside and Spencer goes in after her. It cuts to inside the store. A saleswoman approaches them)

Woman: Hi nice to meet you.

Spencer: Hi I’m here to pick up the Heidi Montag save the date cards.

Woman: (Thinking they are Spencer and Heidi) You’re getting married?

Stephanie: No…

Spencer: I am, I am.

Stephanie: I’m his sister.

Woman: (To Spencer) You’re getting married…oh! Okay. All right. (She walks away to get the cards)

Stephanie: (Looking at the book in front of her) Pretty, pretty, pretty.

Spencer: Oh I was getting stressed out by it but now it’s all starting to come together. We got a church, we got invites, now we just need to figure out where to have the party. She won’t do Don Antonio’s…

Stephanie: Well, we were talking a couple days ago, Heidi and I.

Spencer: About?

Stephanie: I just think that fight freaked her out.

Spencer: it wasn’t a fight.

Stephanie: You left.

Spencer: (Flipping through the book) Well…that’s your opinion.

Stephanie: She just feels like this is breaking up your relationship.

Spencer: What are you talking about? Heidi’s totally…

Stephanie: She didn’t know how to tell you.

Spencer: Are you kidding me right now? She wouldn’t…when did you have this conversation? How do you know this and I don’t?

Stephanie: I mean she wants the perfect wedding and…I know she was pushing you into this…

Spencer: She wasn’t pushing me into this. I wanted this just as much if not more than she did.

Stephanie: Spencer, I don’t even think she is 100% sure she wants to get married right now.

Spencer: Well…

Stephanie: I mean I think you just freaked her out.

Spencer: All right well… (To woman) Thank you so much.

Stephanie: Thanks.

Spencer: I think uh, we’re gonna have to come back. I think I need to go talk to my future bride.

Stephanie: I didn’t want to say anything but… (He opens the door and she goes out the door)

Spencer: After you, bearer of great news. (He goes out the door after her)

CUT TO: That Night – Katana

Audrina and Corey are heading inside for their date.

Corey: It’s probably the best….saw in anyone.

Audrina: (To guy at the front) Hi.

Guy: How you doing?

Audrina: We have reservations.

Guy: Okay. (He lets them in) Come on in.

Audrina: Thank you. (They head up the stairs) I come here all the time. It’s so good. (Cuts to them inside at their table)

Corey: This place is pretty nice. You gotta try one of these ones.

Audrina: I’m not very good at chopsticks. I’m trying.

Corey: Yeah at first. We have this one little local sushi place back home. We eat sushi there quite a bit. That’s where I learned my skills.

Audrina: That’s where you learned your skills?

Corey: Yeah. I was real bad at it too. They bring me out the beginner ones, you know, with the rubber band.

Audrina: Yeah that’s what I…

Corey: You get the training ones, you feel like a real loser but that’s how I learn it. You got to go down to Australia, at least once.

Audrina: I will.

Corey: You should. It’ll be so hot this summer though. I don’t think I’ve had a proper winter in like five years.

Audrina: Do you snowboard?

Corey: I’ve only been snowboarding once so…

Audrina: I’ve only been once. I’d love to go again this winter. You want to?

Corey: Yeah let’s do it up. It’ll be sweet.

Audrina: Where should we go next?

Corey: I don’t know. Do you wanna go out or do you wanna just go home? (They just look at each other and smile)

CUT TO: Pane e Vino

Lauren is having dinner with Lo.

Lo: This place is cute.

Lauren: Mm-hmm.

Lo: It’s very romantical.

Lauren: Yeah I’ve been here before.

Lo: Have you? Who have you been here with?

Lauren: I came here with Jason.

Lo: Oh than it is very romantical indeed. Well I can be your boyfriend tonight. How was Halloween?

Lauren: Um, it was fun. You should have come, I was sad that you couldn’t make it.

Lo: I’m sorry I was such a loser face.

Lauren: I know.

Lo: I had a midterm the next day. 

Lauren: Sucks.

Lo: It was horrible. Did Brody and Frankie go?

Lauren: Oh as Batman and Robin. They left early too. They went to another party.

Lo: Oh…have you guys been like going on dates?

Lauren: I don’t know. It’s limbo. It’s….we’re friends but like…

Lo: He’s more than just your friend Lauren.

Lauren: The thing is like…

Lo: Well do you want him to be more than your friend?

Lauren: That’s the thing. I just…

Lo: Maybe he wants things from you too that you just don’t know. You know like how we’re having this conversation? He could be having a conversation like this with somebody else and you just don’t know. Maybe Brody’s waiting for you to say something.

Lauren: It’s not that I don’t want Brody to be my boyfriend. But I mean I’m not stupid. I know that he’s out with other girls all the time, you know what I mean? Like I know that. I want…Brody to want to not do it without me saying anything.

Lo: So you want him to not want to see other girls?

Lauren: But like I don’t want to tell not to do that, you know what I mean? Who am I to tell him not to do that?

Lo: Yeah. Catch twenty two love.

CUT TO: The Next Day – Hillside Villas

Lauren is sitting at the table when Audrina goes into the kitchen and gets something from the fridge. 

Lauren: Hi.

Audrina: Hello. I didn’t see you right there. (She walks over to where Lauren is sitting and she sits with her)

Lauren: I like your blue hat.

Audrina: Thanks.

Lauren: How was your date?

Audrina: It was really good. He’s really nice. It’s like everything he does, I’m not used to like being treated like that. He’s very attentive, very gentle. He’s like a gentleman. He’s really nice.

Lauren: So good.

Audrina: He doesn’t leave me hanging all the time, you know? He’s a keeper.

Lauren: Oh, a keeper?

Audrina: I’m not gonna jinx anything. It’s way too soon. (Lauren knocks on the table as does Audrina) Yeah.

Lauren: All right can I be annoying?

Audrina: Please.

Lauren: Ready? Okay. Did you kiss him?

Audrina: Yes.

Lauren: You kissed him, huh?

Audrina: He kissed me.

Lauren: Did you kiss him like ‘thanks for dinner’ kiss?

Audrina: It was mutual.

Lauren: Or was it like, like ‘I wanna kiss you but I don’t know’ and then you kiss? Or was it like a…?

Audrina: Oh my god Lauren.

Lauren: No like what kinda kiss? (Audrina laughs) It’s important.

Audrina: It’s so weird ‘cause Justin…he like never liked to kiss.

Lauren: So he returns your calls, which Justin didn’t. He likes to kiss, which Justin didn’t. He bathes, which Justin didn’t. (Audrina laughs) (Lauren gives thumbs up) Upgrade! (They both laugh)

CUT TO: Heidi & Spencer’s Apartment

Spencer is sitting on the couch, with his feet on the table, reading a book, looking clearly pissed off as Heidi cleans up.

Heidi: Can you please take your feet off of the table? I’m trying to clean up here. (He doesn’t move them so she looks at him before continuing to clean) What’s wrong?

Spencer: Well uh, last I heard we were planning on getting married and I was going to get invitations and my sister thankfully stopped me…

Heidi: Your sister? What’d your sister say?

Spencer: She said not to spend a few thousand dollars on invitations for a wedding that she doesn’t think is happening.

Heidi: Well first of all, I don’t think that’s any of her business.

Spencer: Well you made it her business when you told her about what’s going on with the wedding instead of me.

Heidi: First of all, your sister has nothing to do with this and actually she shouldn’t have even said anything to you.

Spencer: She was just looking out for her brother. She was not trying to be a snitch. Is the big wedding just an excuse for you to stall and not have a wedding? You can just be honest.

Heidi: I was trying to make a nice ceremony that we’d all be at and you don’t want this, like it seems like a nightmare for you.

Spencer: You’re the one that’s dragging it out so that there’s all this conflict so it doesn’t happen.

Heidi: I don’t want to just get it over with. I want your family and friends to be there like that’s not dragging it out, it’s something that’s really important to me and if you don’t understand that by now, I don’t know what to tell you. I mean I’m not the one who pushed you. You’re the one who pushed me to move in here, you’re the one who proposed to me. I have given up so much for this relationship.

Spencer: What…what I haven’t given up anything for this relationship? You see me, going out, ever, with any of my friends?

Heidi: Oh I’m sorry. Is that something really important to you? Then why don’t you go do that?

Spencer: (He gets up) My point is, you act like I haven’t sacrificed any of the…I am here with you 24/7. What do we…?

Heidi: I don’t make you be here with me 24/7.

Spencer: I didn’t say that but I don’t sit here and say ‘I’ve sacrificed everything! I forced you to do this’.

Heidi: Don’t mock me. (He shakes his head then heads for the door) Don’t you dare leave.

Spencer: Okay I’m leaving. 

Heidi: If you leave, don’t come back. (He opens door and leaves) Spencer! (She throws something at the door out of frustration then she goes into her bedroom and shuts the door)

CUT TO: That Night – Off Vine Restaurant

They go out back to their table.

Brody: Wow. This place is cool looking. (Lauren sits down) I mean you know you could have let me pull that out for you, geez. (She laughs) Way to make me look bad.

Lauren: I’m sorry. (He sits down)

Brody: Just kidding.

Lauren: I love when they put twinkly lights around when it’s not Christmastime

Brody: It’s almost Christmastime. Audrina, are her and Justin, uh…?

Lauren: Done.

Brody: They don’t hang out?

Lauren: No. They’re done.

Brody: They’re not done.

Lauren: Yeah they are.

Brody: I’ve heard that before.

Lauren: She just went on two dates with another guy and she really likes him. No I think she’s…she’s gonna be strong this time.

Brody: Sure…

Lauren: Sometimes however much you like a guy, they’re just not good for you.

Brody: Who’s that with you? (She just looks at him and smiles) Go on. (She laughs) How’s that…I don’t understand. What do you think, I’m gonna go…?

Lauren: Go what?

Brody: Mack all these girls?

Lauren: Yes that’s exactly what I think you’re gonna do.

Brody: Oh…oh really?

Lauren: It’s fine.

Brody: Who am I gonna mack?

Lauren: Really?

Brody: Who?

Lauren: Let me see your phone. (He hands it to her and she wipes off the screen) Let’s see…we got… (She starts to scroll through his phone) Alex, Alex, Ally, Allison, Allison, Amanda, Amber, Amber, Amy, Amy, Amy, Angie, Angie… (She laughs) Anna, Anna, April, Adrian, Ashley, Ashley, Aubrey…

Brody: Those are friends of mine. That’s…

Lauren: (Still looking through it) Blond hottie…

Brody: They’ve accumulated over the years

Lauren: (Still looking) Bridget wannabe bang…oh wanna bang…

Brody: What? (He laughs) What is that one?

Lauren: You have a Britney Miami call her, Britney platinum blond… (He laughs) Britney Canada whore… (He claps and she gives it back to him)

Brody: I’m gonna take that back ASAP. (She laughs) Put that password lock back on before you get a hold of that again. (She laughs) No for real though, those are names over a couple years.

Lauren: You um, got that phone about two months ago.

Brody: Yeah but I switched all my…I…bought this program…a whole process to it, it’s very time consuming.

Lauren: So Britney Canada whore won’t get a call anytime soon?

Brody: Britney Canada whore is not getting a call anytime soon. Well those girls mean nothing to me…sweetheart.

Lauren: Brody you can do whatever you want.

Brody: Okay.

Lauren: I’m not gonna tell you what to do.

Brody: You don’t have to tell you what to do but you can give me some sort of…I don’t know.

Lauren: What do you want me to tell you? I don’t understand.

Brody: Nothing. (They sit there looking at each other and it cuts to air view of LA)

END

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