The following is
not a
novelization or an actual script but a dry transcript of the aired
episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, settings descriptions,
action scenes and/or camera movements where the transcriber felt they were necessary. This transcript is archived on "
TWIZ TV.COM - FREE TV SCRIPTS DATABASE" with permission from QUEERASFOLK.DE. "QUEER AS FOLK" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and © by COWLIP PRODUCTIONS, SJ2 ENTERTAINMENT, TONY JONES PRODUCTIONS, QAF III PRODUCTIONS, DUFFERIN GATE PRODUCTIONS, INC and CELEBRITY PUBLIC RELATIONS in association with SHOWTOME NETWORKS, INC. All Rights Reserved. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain. For Entertainment and Educational purposes only. No infringement intended.
==========================
TRANSCRIPT:
==========================
[A bizarre Show. All male actors
in black suits are at the stage - together. A moderator
calls their names - and they walk up in front.]
Moderator: And our next contestant - Michael Novotny!
[Audience cheers.]
Moderator: And here comes Ted Schmidt! A new entry -
Justin Taylor! The favourite Brian Kinney! A real crowd
breezer Emmett Honeycut! And let's hear it for Ben
Bruckner! [he opens the envelope] And the winner is...
Brian Kinney!
[All boys claps with their hands. Cut to Mel - she's
scream. We're in Mel's bedroom.]
Lindsay: What is it?
Mel: Oh, I had that dream. Again.
Lindsy: Mr.Sperm donor pageant? Who won this time?
Mel: Guess!
Lindsay: Maybe its some kind of sign.
Mel: I've already told you I want someone else.
Lindsay: But we agreed it's important that our kids has
the same parent.
Mel: I didn't agree to the same asshole.
Lindsay: I need my sleep.
Mel: Look, I know how much it means to you - you always
has, you always will - it doesn't seem the same to me.
[Cut to Brians office.
Brian holds up a potato chip.]
Vance: "To eat or not to eat".
Brian: Try one. One's not wanna kill you.
[He tastet some - soon he eats he screams for water.]
Vance: Water! Jesus! You've said it wasn't gonna kill me
what the hell are in those things?
Brian: Chilly powder, tobasco, peppers, a touch of
sulfuric acid for the extra little kick. Meet our news
account. Hot Potato
Vance: How we can make those sexy?
[Brian show Vance his idea.]
Vance: Hehe, "Hotter than your date, last saturday
night."
Cynthia: I'm sorry Brian, but she insisted.
Claire: Brian, I need to talk to you. The school just
called. Peter broke his arm in soccer practise.
Brian: Gardner? My sister Claire.
Vance: Sounds like you have a family crisis. I'll leave
you. My pleasure.
Claire: I have to get to the emergency room right away.
Brian: Then what are you doin' here?
Claire: Can you help me? Can you look after John?
Brian: In case you haven't noticed, but I'm workin'.
Claire: Well, I don't know what else to do with him.
Brian: Stick him in a look at the bus station. You have
hear of a sitter?
Claire: I can't find someone in the middle of the day.
Brian: Leave him with mom.
Claire: Mom's indisposed.
Brian: She passed out drunk again.
Claire: Brian please - I don't have time for this.
Brian: How long have you been?
Claire: I don't know, but I call as soon as I'm know. [to
John] OK, you behave yourself, do you hear me?
[Claire leaves, John plays with Nintendo and Brian's
edgy.]
John: You still a fag?
Brian: Here... [he points to "Hot Potatos"]
have one. Have two.
[And John grabs a handful. Brian smirks.]
[Cut to Mel and Lindz at the
diner, ticking the guys names off a list.]
Lindsay: [looking to Justin and talks to Mel] Look at the
bone construction. Those adorable ears and he's
incredible talented.
Mel: He's only 19.
Lindsay: Isn't this a plus? Fresh young sperm.
Mel: To me he's still a baby and I won't have a baby with
a baby.
[Lindsay took his name off the list.]
Lindsay: Ben's brilliant.
Mel: I'll say he's perfect except for one thing...
Lindsay: Right. There is always Ted.
Mel: Our good reliable Teddy.
[Took his name off the list.]
Lindsay: Emmett?
[Mel looks straight to Linds and she's took his name off
the list. Brian has brough his little monster to the
diner.]
John: What is this place?
Brian: It's called the diner.
Ted: Hey Bri, you brough yourself a new boyfriend?
Emmett: He's even younger than the last one.
[Emmett laughs - Justin's not amused.]
John: God, I hope nobody sees me.
Brian: Sit down and shut up.
Debbie: Who's the cutie?
Brian: It's the spawn of Satan of my sister.
Debbie: I can recognize family resemblance.
Brian: Both sides.
John: [to Brian] Is she a drag queen?
Debbie: So, what can I get ya, honey?
John: Im not eating anything in here!
Brian: Bring him a burger with an extra ground glass.
Justin: Hey.
Brian: Hey.
John: I wanna go arcade in the mall. I go there every day
after school. [Justin hear's that sentence.]
Brian: Does your mama know?
John: She thinks I'm in the choir practise. I bet you
like that.
Michael: What are you doin' with your nephew?
Brian: I'm brat-siting.
Michael: Hey John, I'm Brian's best friend. You remember
me?
John: Nah.
Michael: Why don't you bring him at the store? I have a
comicbook - it's just down the street.
John: You got the new Vengers?
Michael: I got everything. Why you don't drop by and
check it out? I give free samples.
John: Can we, uncle Bri'?
Brian: All the sudden we're related?
Lindsay: Isn't that sweet of Michael?
Mel: Yeah, he's a real mensch.
[they look at each other and knows.]
Mel: ...any wouldn't give us any trouble.
[At the comic store.]
John: Can I have the spiderman, too?
Michael: Hmm.
Brian: Don't be so fucking greek. Don't give him your
shitload.
Michael: It's yours.
Brian: What do you say?
John: Thanks Mike.
Brian: Don't you want a kid?
Ben: Actually I give up a serious though because the
studies show that two men can raise a child...
Brian: Psst, I mean this one. C'mon!
John: I don't wanna go!
Brian: We all have to go sometimes.
[They leave the shop.]
Ben: You were great with him. You know that?
Michael: Kid's love me - don't ask me why.
Ben: I don't have to.
[Michael touch Ben's breast.]
Michael: God, your hard.
Ben: Yeah, you too.
Customer: You have the new Superman?
Michael: You look at him. It's right over there. Those
workouts have been paying off. I'll see you at dinner.
Ben: I thought Id hit the gym tonight, plan some
extra time on my stomach.
Michael: I though we made plans.
Ben: So I'll change them. It isn't a problem, is it?
Michael: No. It's not a problem.
[Cut to Teds apartment.
Both eating.]
Emmett: You're a wonder.
Ted: I am?
Emmett: I've knew you 5 or 6 years and had no idea you
cook.
Ted: It's because I never had someone to cook for. Now
that I do you want believe the delighted I planned.
Emmett: Well, I can't hardly wait for desert.
Ted: Just a minute - I just want to clear up.
Emmett: Everything's already cleaned. It's practically
spotless.
Ted: Well, you know me - I can't relax since everything
is in order.
Emmett: Yeah, when I cook the kitchen looks like
hurricaned.
Ted: This is so nice - I wish you didn't have to go.
Emmett: Who's goin' anywhere?
Ted: I mean, it's so inconvenient that you run back and
forth to your place.
Emmett: Well sometimes someone needs to wear new undies.
Ted: Yeah, but wouldnt it be more practical if the
undies came to you instead of you coming to the undies?
Emmett: OK, are you saying...?
Ted: I want you to move in.
Emmett: You mean...?
Ted: Live together. Check up.
Emmett: Check Up. I love to hear that words. But don't
you think it's too soon?
Ted: Yeah, you probably right. We're knowing each other -
how long? - 5,6 years. We're should wait at least another
five more.
Emmett: You know what I mean. Loving and living together
are two different things. What if we drive the other
crazy?
Ted: Don't know at least we try. You know what I mean.
Emmett: As long as I wouldnt be in the way...
T: How could you ever be in the way?
[At Melanie and Lindsays,
Michael is showing off his daddy skills with Gus.]
Lindsay: You know, you really good with kids.
Mel: Gus adores you.
Lindsay: It's because you had a good heart.
Michael: That what my ma' always tell me. She says,
"Michael, you have a good heart." You know what
happens to a good heart? I think she's secretly wishes
I'm more like Brian.
Mel: With no heart? There are no more qualities a person
can have is a kind and loving nature.
Lindsay: I agree. It's defnately we intend to give it to
Gus.
Mel: And something our second child should have as well.
Michael: You having another kid?
Mel: Hmm-hmm.
Michael: Hey Gus, make another happy face - your having a
baby brother or baby sister.
Mel: And this time I'm going to carry.
Michael: No shit? [looks to Gus] Sorry. That's great.
Lindsay: Which is why we ask you to stop by.
Michael: Why? You want me to baby sit? It's really early,
isn't it?
Mel: We would like you to be the father.
[Michael freezes.]
Michael: Me?
Mel: Yeah.
[Michael and Ben discuss the
prospect back at their apartment.]
Ben: I think it's great.
Michael: You do?
Ben: To be a father and get a child? Hoping Mel and
Lindsay create a family.
Michael: But it's a big responsibility bringing a human
being into the world. And I dunno if I'm be the old man.
[As Michael speeks an ampoule falls out of Ben's
trousers. Quickly he get the drugs. Michael didn't
notived this.]
Ben: You are more ready than you think. You want to
shower?
Michael: It's exciting, isn't it? What if I'm fuck it up?
Ben: How could you fuck it up? All you have to do,
Michael is, to suply sperm.
[They got in the shower and have hot sex.]
[At the loft, Brian taking a
shower. John is taking the opportunity to snoop through
Brians porn videos and sex toys. He pockets the
cowrie shell bracelet and takes the cash out of Brian's
wallet. Brian catches him pocketing the cash.]
Brian: Put it back! Is said put it back in the fucking
wallet, now!
John: What for? You've got more money than you know what
to do with!
Brian: Who told you that? Your mother?
John: She said you were a selfish son of a bitch who
never gave anyone in the family a red cent!
Brian: Yeah, I wonder why? Now, hand over.
[He don't. He runs away. Brian catches him and grabs the
money out of his pocket.]
John: You fucking faggot, you and your friends are goin'
to hell.
Brian: Yeah? Who told you that? Granny?
John: You touched my dick!
Brian: You little shit!
John: Let me go, buttfucker! Asshole, let me go!
[Brian picks him up and carries him to the bathroom,
where he ducks his head into the toilet and flushes a few
times.]
Brian: That'll teach you to fuck with faggots!
John: You gonna be sorry. You gonna be so sorry.
[Emmett and Ted dont waste
any time. Emmetts moving in already. Michael, Ted,
Emmett and Brian stand around watching the hunky moving
guys.]
Michael: Where did you find the hunky moving man?
Ted: Under "Hunking moving man" in the gay
yellow pages. They Liberty Avenue top movers.
Brian: That one is a bottom - trust me.
Michael: So talking wet dreams.
Brian: Don't you too turned on. Safe your cum to screw
Melanie's twat.
Ted: Our little Mikey, seiring off-spring.
Emmett: That this mean you two are related?
Brian: Yeah, lesbian want to move.
Emmett: It's exciting to have a kid in the world.
Michael: Your nephew looks like you.
Brian: I can hold him back to rip me off.
Emmett: Um, they said moving out is such mature.
Brian: I give you two lovebirds 24 hours.
[Brian and one of the movers check each other out.]
Brian: Ups.
[At the diner, Debbie is
broadcasting the good news.]
Debbie: Stuff tomato. Im gonna be a grandma!
[another desk] Pott-pie. I'm gonna be a grandma! [another
desk] Cheese. I'm gonna be a grandma!
Michael: Would someone please make her stop?
Vic: Let her glow a little. She never in her wildest
dreams though she gonna be a grandma.
Debbie: And here he is - big daddy!
Michael: Your a little pre-mature. Could you wait for at
least conception?
Debbie: So when do you make your first deposit?
Michael: We haven't discussed it.
Debbie: Well those things don't happen by magic. They
take planing and preparation. What kinda shorts you
wearing?
Michael: It's none of your business!
Debbie: Make sure they not too tight. The tightens
constrict your balls. They gonna heat up and all your
little soldiers are destimated. And cut back on the sex -
you got safe your sperm.
Ben: You know, I hit the gym. See you later.
Debbie: Bye honey.
Vic: Let me out, sis.
Debbie: Where you want?
Vic: To get Mikey my big shorts.
[Outside the diner. Ben heads out and Vic catches up with
him.]
Vic: Ben. You mind if I walk with ya?
Ben: No.
Vic: Too much baby talk. I never wanted kids myself.
Ben: I did. Of course, thats not gonna happen now.
Vic: One of the ways were not like them anymore
Ben: I try not to think about it. Some days I even
succeed.
Vic: I know what you mean. But then something happens to
remind me - a touch of the flu, someone donating sperm, a
lover who dies.
Ben: Vic - Ill seeya later.
[Ben cant get away from Vic fast enough. ]
[Brian brings Hunky Moving Guy
back to the loft - actually he doesnt wait till
they get all the way to the loft; he fucks the guy in the
elevator. The elevator door swings open and a cop is
standing at Brian's door.]
Cop: Brian Kinney?
Man: Who's that?
Brian: Whop, you caught me. Where we meet? Uniform Night
at Babylon?
Cop: I'm officier Handley, Pittsburgh Police.
Brian: Christ, your for real.
Cop: You need to come with me to the headquarter,
Mr.Kinney.
[Melanie, Lindsay and Michael in
a cocktail bar.]
Lindsay: You sure you wanna do this?
Michael: Ben and I were up to talking about it. I think
he's almost excited about it as I am.
Melanie: And you understand what's required? And all you
have to do is to sign this.
Michael: "The donor agrees... no parental
rights..." What's all this?
Melanie: It's just a formalety.
Michael: Detection from what?
Melanie: As you can see, Section 2, paragraph 4, it
releaves you for any financial responsibilies onces and
forever.
Michael: Well that is a relieve not to see my kid.
Lindsay: You'll see the baby, Michael.
Michael: Sure, you can explain her, when she's told
enough, that I'm be the doner.
Melanie: That is what it's about.
Michael: I must heard you wrong, because I swear you said
you wanted me to be the father.
Mel: After what happened with Brian not wanting to give
up his parental rights, Im sure you understand -
Michael: Yeah, and Im beginning to understand how
he must have felt! I sure as hell understand how a kid
feels not having a dad because I didnt have one!
When you have to do this then go ahead. You have to do
what's right for you. So do I.
[he stands up and leaves.]
[Justin is at Debbie's and she's
giving him her ugly household tchochkes.]
Debbie: Always finish your meals with a smile. And here
[a t-shirt with jesus] Useful and decorative. I know he's
jevish, so tell him to ignore Jesus on the cross. And
this is my favourite [a porcelan cat] it's fixed all
those years...it's remind whereever you are - I'm always
there and looking out for ya.
Justin: Are you sure you don't want them?
Debbie: Well there are family areloons but you boys need
things, so I'm passing it on you and Ethan for save
keeping.
[Someone knocking at the door. Vic get it. It's Carl
Horvath.]
Carl: Hi Vic.
Vic: Detective Horvath. Sis, your dick's here.
Debbie: Hey!
Carl: Hey honey.
Debbie: Hey your sweet meat.
Vic: Heterosexual - you see Justin there not that
different from us.
Debbie: I though we want to meet tomorrow night.
Carl: We are, but there is something I though you should
know. One for your lost boys are in trouble.
Debbie: Which one?
Carl: Kinney.
Justin: Brian? Something happened to Brian?
Carl: It seems that his twelve year old nephew is accused
him of molesting him.
Debbie: Holy shit.
Justin: That's bullshit. There's NO WAY Brian would ever
do anything like that.
Vic: Has he be arrested?
Carl: So far they just questing him.
Debbie: Brian maybe do a lot of things and I'm the first
one to say so, but he's no child molested.
[Hurricane Emmett is frying up a
mess of Aunt Lulus fried chicken for dinner. Ted
comes home after a long, hard day to find the place
turned upside down.]
Emmett: Welcome home, honey. How was work?
Ted: Uh, the usual. Orgy, gang-rape.
Emmett: You must be exausted.
Ted: Yeah, keep giving those website members high quality
entertainment they deserve. What's all this?
Emmett: My Aunt Lulu's fried chicken.
Ted: I'll go and wash my hands.
Emmett: Oh by the way, I hang up a few things to dry.
Te: I see.
Emmett: Why you sit down and put your feed up, honey?
I'll be ready in a minute.
Ted: What happen to the living room?
Emmet: Oh, I re-decorated. Do you like it?
Ted: It really give the room a flow. Um, my nail.
Emmett: What's it, Teddy?
Ted: Um, there was a nail there.
Emmett: What? That rusty old thing?
Ted: Yeah, where is it?
Emmett: While I re-decorated it falls down the floor. You
know how danger it is if you barefeet?
Ted: What did you do with it?
Emmett: Drew it out. It's just an old nail.
Ted: It's not just an old nail. Its
Pavarottis nail. On every performance he a bent
nail from the backstage for good luck. Everybody knows
that. For the night he is in town for Pittsburgh opera he
found that nail, picked it up, kissed it, threw over the
shoulder and I picked it up. It's my good luck charm
since ever. Now it's just gone?
Emmett: I didn't know.
[He turns out the music.]
Emmett: I'm sorry.
Ted: You had no right touching it. You had no right to
touch anything. I would appreciated if you put everthing
back the way you found it and that includes removing your
dripping shorts from my bathroom!
Emmett: Your bathroom? I'm sorry, I thought it was our
bathroom. I though this was our place - apparently not!
Well, like you said we're find out sooner or later if we
can live together - better we found out sooner.
[With that he leaves.]
[Michael and Brian are leaving
the police station.]
Michael: He told them, you made him suck your cock?!
Brian: That's what he told my cunt sister. That what's my
cunt sister told the cop.
Michael: And I'll give that asshole free comics! They
don't believe him, do they?
Brian: Listen up, Michael - are you listening?
Michael: I'm listening.
Brian: They're heterosexuals. They believe all perverts
want one thing to get our hands on some sweet piece of
little boy-meat.
Michael: So all he has to do is to accused you and they
automatically believe him?
Brian: For now I use the money I'm spare with my Botox
trip for some goddamn 300-an-hour-lawyer.
Michael: They aren't gonna arested you, are they?
Brian: How do I know?
Michael: Shit, you gonna be go to prison!
Brian: Don't worked up.
Michael: They can't come to take you away.
Brian: I don't attend to.
[Brian heads right over to Claire's house and practically
bangs the door down.]
Brian: Open the door.
Claire: Go away, or I call the police, your
son-of-a-bitch!
Brian: Listen, open that fucking door!!! Where is he?
Claire: Get out here, Brian!
Brian: John! Get your ass down here, you little fuck!
Claire: You think I gonna let you near him, your sick
pervert?
Brian: You think I actually molested your son? Maybe you
would ask me BEFORE you called the cop.
Claire: Why should I and why would you make it up?
Brian: Because your kid is a twisted fag hating liar,
Claire. That's why. Where'd he learn that from? Oh, and
the mom stage left.
Joanie: You have a hell of a nerve showing your face
here.
Brian: Nice to see you, too. What? Don't I get a kiss?
Joanie: Stay away from me.
Brian: Don't worry, you're not my type.
Claire: God knows what permanently damage you've done to
him?
Joanie: You ought to be locked up. Put away?
[Brian bump against her Whisky glass.]
Brian: Thanks old sport, have another.
Claire: If I had anything to say, you will be...?
Joanie: How could you?
Brian: How could I what? Let little Johnny suck my dick?
I'M GONNA FIND YOU, YOU SACK OF SHIT AND THIS TIME YOU
WON'T COMING UP!
Claire: You hear that mother - he just threatened him.
We're calling the police.
Brian: Go ahead, sis. Tell him I'm a great monster and
godless fag, right mom?
Joanie: You think you gaining a reaction from me? You're
not. However I will say knowing the kind of life you
live, the type of people you associate with, I'm not
surprised. It's what happens when you turn your back on
the Lord.
Brian: Fuck the lord and fuck you!
[He leaves.]
[Michael's back in his flat.]
Michael: I told my mom not to get her hopes up and she go
and tell everybody... I know how disappointed she is and
mope for days.
Ben: You know her.
Michael: Yeah.
Ben: If it's any consolation I'm disappointed too. I was
looking for to be Uncle Ben.
Michael: I loke the rise.
Ben: It's the closest to be a dad.
Michael: I didn't know you want to be one.
Ben: It was always I though...
[Somebody is trying to get in the apartment.]
Michael: Shit, there is anybody in the apartment. [They
look in the living room.] Jesus Em, what's goin' on?!
What your doin' back?
Emmett: Brian was right. Its a good thing I saved
the boxes.
[Babylon. Ted stands alone at the
stair. Brian appears.]
Brian: Hey, where is your wife?
Ted: Congratulations. I hope youre happy.
Brian: What I feel is a over-whelming disgusted seeing
two pathetic fags trying to turn themselves into
something even more pathetic - two happily married
heterosexuals.
Ted: This has nothing to do with that! Its got to
do with what us lower life forms generally refer to as
love. Because you can't comperehent with that it doesn't
mean that we condemt to live our lifes so.
Brian: Wow, that was very politic for a former
accoundant. I'm sure we find a dream that satisfice your
existence. But until then why you have a trick?
Ted: Fuck you off!
Brian: [look at a boy] What a good idea!
[He goes in the backroom.]
Brian: [on the second though] Your too young for me.
Boy: That's not what I've heard.
[Justin tracks down John at the
video arcade.]
John: Yeah motherfucker, die!
Justin: How was choir practise?
John: Who are you?
Justin: A friend of your Uncle's.
John: Another fag. Get away from me. Or I call the
police.
Justin: What you gonna tell him? That I made you suck me
off too?
John: What do you want?
Justin: I want the truth.
John: I already told the truth. He offered me money, but
I didn't do it. Do you offered you money, too?
Justin: He didn't have to. I would have paid him! If you
don't admit that your lying you made all of this up Brian
could have jailed.
John: Good, I hope he god rape by black guys.
Justin: Your mother must be so proud of you.
John: What the fuck are you doin'? Get your hands off me!
Justin: It's a cool bracelett.
[With that he leaves. He has all the proof he needs.]
[Mel and Lindz goin' down the
street.]
Lindsay: Maybe the terms of the agreement were a bit
harsh.
Mel: I was always trying to protect us.
Lindsay: But Michael's don't Brian. That's why we choose
him in a first place.
Mel: I've said we got Genius from the sperm bank. It
got's easier.
Lindsay: Are you kidding? Say the dad is just a number?
Mel: I not had repeat what we goin' through with Brian.
Lindsay: I just said Michael's not Brian! Aren't you
listening to me?
Mel: Baby, the entire street listening to you.
Lindsay: It's not about Michael or who the father will
be. Its about trust. Trusting to faith. Trusting to
god. That something will be allright. If we accept that
maybe we have a baby? Maybe we should stop right now.
[John comes home to find Horvath,
Justin and Debbie waiting for him.]
John: What's up?
Debbie: How about you telling us?
Carl: Let me handle this, Debbie. Detective Carl Horvath,
Pittsburgh PD. Understand you have some aleligation
recenly regarding your Uncle, Brian Kinney.
John: He made me do things to.
Carl: It's a pretty serious charge, if it's true.
John: I'm not lying.
Carl: He said you made it up because he found you
stealing money from his wallet.
John: He's a liar.
Carl: You also took a bracelet with shells.
John: I don't have any stupid bracelet.
Justin: I've saw you wearing it today in the Arcade.
John: Why should anyone believe you?
Claire: John, is that the bracelet you had on this
morning at breakfast?
John: [whispers] Mom, would you shut up?
Claire: You've said you got it in the mall.
John: I brough it in my allowence at the store accross
the pet shop.
Carl: See the bracelett, son.
John: I don't have it - it lost.
Claire: Show it to him!
[he gives it to Det.Horvath.]
Justin: Brian got it in Mexico. His initials are carves
on one of the shells.
Claire: I want the truth, John! You tell me the truth! Do
Brian really do what you said he did?
John: He is a fag. Like you've said, just a goddamn fag.
Debbie: Shame on you.
[John runs away.]
Debbie: [to Claire] But most of all, shame on you!
[Carl give the bracelett to Justin. They all leave.]
[At the comic book store.]
Michael: [to a customer] And here is Hulk from 1988 -
it's a really cool episode with Volvoen.
[The boy reads some other comic. Mel and Lindsay are
coming in.]
Lindsay: We hope we're coming in bad time.
Michael: Nah, I just advising a collector. It's actually
one of my best costumers.
Mel: We won't stay too long. Michael, about our
agreement...
Michael: Look, I already told you...
Lindsay: We know. That's why we decided to amend some of
the points.
[Melanie tears up the agreement.]
Mel: We decided to fulfill your function - you are here
the baby as the father.
Lindsay: So, what do you say, dad?
[They hug each other.]
[In Woody's. Emmett are at the
bar. Ted appears.]
Ted: Might if I had a drink?
Emmett: We're at Woody's, not at Emmett's.
Ted: Great jin-tonic. Em...
Emmett: Save your breath. It's quite obvious we're not
living together.
Ted: Look, I'm sorry that I'm got upset.
Emmett: Upset? Tried molested.
Ted: I just kind of finicky.
Emmett: Finicky is when you turned your nose in the
bisquits. It's your place. In the future, don't ask
someone to move in.
Ted: After you left I walked up and down the Liberty
Avenue and see in the diner the last weeks Pittsburg
Outs. Have you seen it?
Emmett: Is the headline "Twinkie boyfriend goes
beserk"?
Ted: Actually there is a interesting letter. Dear abs.
Emmett: Don't tell me you read that silly queen.
Ted: Go on.
Emmett: "Dear Abs, my boyfriend just moved in with
me and he's taking over. He even moved the lube with the
right side of the bed. Help. Out of lost." So?
Ted: Now his answer.
Emmett: "Dear adder, get a new place that both of
yours unless you want to jerk-off alone."
Ted: It must be a reason I read that ad this morning. I
don't want loose you, Em, but there is no way we gonna
live together in my place.
Emmett: Yesterdays news.
Ted: So I suggest we take "Dear Abs" advice and
get our place. A place to both of ours. In fact I was
thinking of a house.
Emmett: A house?
Ted: With the backyard, rooms for you to decorate. It's
the best suggest one make me. so, what do you say?
Emmett: I say those are the most romantic words that I've
ever heard.
[In the house with Michael.]
Ben: You counting your family days until Christmas?
Michael: That's Melanie's fertility cycle.
Ben: And what a perfect spot for - right beside our bed.
Michael: It's to remind me when we can do it and when we
can't. Now when I'm gonna be a father I had a extra
special responsibility. Tonight it looks good... You up
for it?
Ben: Yeah, as soon as I back from the gym.
Michael: Wait, you goin' in the gym again? But don't be
late.
Ben: And miss my one week oportunity?
[We see Ben in the bathroom injecting steroids.]
[In front of Brian's loft. Justin
returns Brians bracelet.]
Justin: I believe this belongs to you.
Brian: Thanks.
Justin: Anytime. Here.
[He fastens it around Brians wrist.]
Brian: Shouldn't you be getting back to your boyfriend?
Justin: Yeah.
[They gaze into each other's eyes for a long, delicious
moment. Then Justin walks away, leaving Brian leaning
pensively in the doorway for a few minutes before he
turns away and walks back into the loft, leaving the door
wide open.]
Music: The Sound of
Violence -
from Cassius
END OF EPISODE==========================
BROUGHT TO YOU BY TWIZ TV.COM - FREE TV SCRIPTS DATABASE
FEEL FREE TO SAVE TO YOUR COMPUTER BUT DO NOT REPOST IT ANYWHERE!
==========================