"QUEER AS FOLK" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and © by COWLIP PRODUCTIONS, SJ2 ENTERTAINMENT, TONY JONES PRODUCTIONS, QAF III PRODUCTIONS, DUFFERIN GATE PRODUCTIONS, INC and CELEBRITY PUBLIC RELATIONS in association with SHOWTOME NETWORKS, INC. All Rights Reserved. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain. For Entertainment and Educational purposes only. No infringement intended.
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TRANSCRIPT:
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[We open in Babylon, with a
comic-book theme. The screen breaks into squares as we
watch mostly naked men. The right side of the screen
shows boxes of Justin drawing. Justin and Michael are
watching the one good dancer in a neon green Speedo, and
are using him as a model for Justin's drawing. The
bartender tries to put a bottle of water down on Justin's
drawing.]
Michael: Wow, wow, it's too hot to be a coaster.
Justin: That's the magic of Ectasy. Everybody looks good.
Michael: He's practically a superhero. All he needs it's
a spandex suit and he's ready to save the universe.
Justin: There. How's that?
Michael: He needs an insign on his chest.
Justin: A lightning ball?
Michael: An "E".
[Justin draws a cape and adds an "E" to the
chest.]
Michael: And a mask, of course.
Justin: Of course. Oh, and a cape?
Michael: No, that's keeps him a so last century.He
doesn't use his superpower, he's a super hero without
one.
Justin: How about paralyzing with radiate from his dark
smell bedroom?
Michael: Oh better yet, the deem materialize from the
mega blast from his super shorts?
Brian: What are you girls all giggly about?
[He sees the drawing.]
Brian: OK, no more drugs for you.
Ted: How about another drink on me?
Brian: What's the occasion? You're one million wank?
Ted: Better. The nomination of the gay porn award. With
they recognize for his standing achievement. Not other
than werkatworks very own Fetch Dixon.
Justin: You must tell Emmett. He will be so excited.
Brian: It's always great of fun when you recognize for
your hard work.
Ted: He could better use it. I can't wait to read him
this official letter. "Dear Mr.Schmidt. The Academy
of Pornografic Art and Sciences is pleased to inform
you..."
[Ted finishes reading the letter
to Emmett, who is appropriately in mourning.]
Ted: "...that the Star of your pornsite, Fetch
Dixon, has been nominated for the covered Crystal Dick
Award as Internet "Newcumer of the Year." Well?
Isn't this fanastic?
[No reaction of Emmett. He lies on the sofa]
Emmett: Yeah, it's very nice.
Ted: "Nice"? Is not every day that someone
get's nominated for a crystal dick. That's huge.
Emmett: Suppose.
Ted: OK, I tell you what. I hire a limo to drive us, OK?
A really spectacular thing.
Emmett: Thanks Teddy, but I don't feel much like
celebrating.
Ted: I know, but... it's the gay porn award! You know,
you owe it to yourself to get out and have fun.
Emmett: I don't know. Maybe if George were still here and
enjoy that with me I consider this. Besides, I still had
things to do. Like figure out what I say to his funeral.
Ted: You plan on speaking?
Emmett: Yeah. Everybody should know how wonderful he was.
What we've shared. And more importently I still need to
say goodbye. I don't really have the chance.
Ted: Well, then you should.
[Diner. Justin and Brian are
playing footsie with a fork and a spoon when Michael
walks in.]
Michael: [looking to Brian] You look like shit.
Brian: What about you?
`
Michael: E-Man saved me.
Justin: Jesus. You didn't keep that.
Michael: You're kidding. It's fan- fucking tastic!
Justin: Must be the drugs talking.
Michael: No, it's me and it got me thinking.
Brian: That's always a dangerous sign.
Michael: Do you mind if I have a conversation with your
boyfriend? [Justin raises his eyebrows] After they killed
Captain Astro people coming in my comic book store and
looking for a gay superhero. You know, that take his
place but it didn't exist. That's when he came to me. [to
show Justin E-Man] Why waiting for someone else creating
one when we can create him on ourselve?
Justin: You mean we creating our own comic book?
Michael: Why not?
Brian: OK, it's time for your medication.
Michael: People make their own films, they write books,
and screenplays, so why is it so crazy?
Justin: For one thing I don't know about comics.
Michael: I do. It's my business. I've been reading comic
books my entire life. I can over stories a million times.
But I can't draw for shit. You can.
Justin: That could be gotta cool.
Michael: What do you say if we got together and
brainstorms?
Justin: Yeah, I guess we could go a try.
Brian: Finally, you two boys will have something in
common besides me. What a relief not to be the center of
everyone's universe.
[Michael and Justin smile and shake their heads. Michael
flies the coaster over to Justin and hits him in the
head. Justin pretends to die.]
[Lindsay's leading Mel up to the
attic, holding her hands around Mel's face so she can't
see. Lindsay takes her hands off Mel's face.]
Lindsay: OK, open your eyes.
Mel: Wow, what I looking at?
Lindsay: My new studio. Or at least how I'm imaginated.
See, I marked how everything should stand. See, the
shelves.
Mel: Oh, is it the skyline?
Lindsay: It'll gives this place a nice area, don't you
think?
Mel: I think it'll cost too much.
Leda: [from downstair] Hey, anybody's here?
Mel: In the attic!
Lindsay: The studiooooo! I know money is an issue. That's
why I've done my research and priced all the materials.
Mel: What about the plumbers, electricians, carpenters,
and skylight guys.
Leda: Wow! Killer space.
Lindsay: It's gonna be my new studio.
Leda: Cool!
Mel: Led', you know reno. Can you prize this?
Leda: Well, if you use a contractor, my guesstimate it's
been ten but by these days I say they always double your
estimate.
Mel: [whistles] Too sizeable.
Leda: Unless of course I do it for you.
Lindsay: Oh, you can't possible ask that.
Leda: Who's asking? I offered.
Mel: Yeah, it still costs to much.
Leda: Beside I need a place to crush.
Mel: And we have a couch.
Leda: I have a roof over my head and in exchange you got
your studio.
Mel: Well, it sounds like the perfect solution...
Lindsay: Except, as you know, our studio is a private,
personal place. I like to be able to create by myself. So
thank you for the offer, Leda, but no thanks.
Mel: When we're gonna start to accidentally losing
fingers?
[Michael and Justin are trying to
come up with the basic storyline for their superhero - in
Brian's loft.]
Justin: How about this? A young scientist is doing an
experiement when he bits by radiation...
Michael: ...radiation bug?
Justin: Yah.
Michael: That's Spider-Man.
Justin: Oh. [Pause] King of the seas. He breeths under
water...
Michael: ...under water... That's Aquaman.
Justin: Uh!!! OK, I got it... he send to earth by his
parents when he's just a baby, right before his planets
explodes. When he gets here he discovered he has some
Superpower.
Michael: You're kidding me?
Justin: You think something. You said you have a million
great ideas.
Michael: Unfortunately they've all been thoughed of.
Justin: Well, maybe we should just forget it.
Michael: No, it'll come to us.
Justin: We've been sitting here for hours.
[Brian walks over to his treadmill.]
Michael: You can't rush a brilliant idea.
[They watch Brian start jogging on his treadmill.]
Michael: [looks to Brian] Well, whatever the guy is, he
hasn't have to be the standard superhero stereotype case.
Justin: It's his mind that makes him sexy.
Michael: It's his weird individual.
Justin: That gives him courage.
Michael: His uncompromising moral.
Justin: That makes him strong!
Michael: What if this guy is a cold-hearted ad exec by
day...
Justin: A defender of queers by night.
Michael: Now all we need is a name.
Justin: OK.
[Brian gets mad at his Walkman and throws
it across the room]
Brian: Fuck this shit!
Michael: The Fury?
Justin: Pissed-Off Man.
[The film speeds up on Brian running.]
Michael: Rage.
Justin: It's genius!
[Michael writes the word "Rage" next to the
drawing.]
[Emmett is wandering through
George's mansion. Workers are taking statues and things
out of the place.]
Butler: Mr.Honeycutt, please accept my most sincerious
condolences.
Emmett: Thank you, Jonathan and mine to you. I can't
image how George manage up there without you.
Butler: He's in far more capable hands now. I expect that
you come to get your things.
Emmett: Actually I prefer to do this for myself. I'll be
in his room a last time. And I was kind of hoping to take
a little of something to remember him. His red
cardigan...
Mrs.Schickle: Jonathan! Go get Mr. Schickle's sweater!
[The butler leaves to get the sweater.]
Emmett: I'm so sorry, Mrs.Schickle. I know losing George
is a tremendious lost.
Mrs.Schickle: I don't know how I'll manage to fill the
void. Careful with that! That's very valuable.
Emmett: I'm sure you find a way.
Mrs.Schickle: Now, if you'll excuse me. There are so much
I have to do.
Emmett: I can imagine. I call when someone passed away my
mom cooking for days.
Mrs.Schickle: Cooking?
Emmett: Well instead of making the funeral to a mourning
occasion and tried to turned into a celebration of a
beloved live. That's what I planed to do with George's
services.
Mrs.Schickle: Oh that's very sweet, but really it's not
necessary.
Emmett: It's necessary for me.
Mrs.Schickle: Unfortunately it won't be time. You see,
George was a very important man. There will be many
prominent speakers tomorrow. CEO's, political and
spiritual leaders. Oh, here is the sweater you're
requested. Take it, along with your memories. I'm sure
they'll give you great comfort.
[Michael's shop is now filled
with Justin's drawings.]
Justin: I want him a different look, like no-one's ever
seen.
Michael: And different stories. You know, not that
fucking things in straight comics. Our guys are gay. They
live in a gay world.
Justin: He has gay sex.
Michael: And his superpower are to.
Justin: So, what kind of stories?
Michael: There was one story I'm thinking about but...
Justin: What?
Michael: Never mind.
Justin: C'mon, tell me! We're partners now. We gotta
share what in our minds.
Michael: I was thinking that Rage save some other kid's
life after his was bashed. [long pause] I told you that
was a dumb idea. I never should have brought this up.
Justin: I think it's a great idea.
Michael: You do? [he nodds] I mean it's awfully personal.
Justin: But best art usually really is. Besides, I wanna
talk about it. The trouble is no-one would ever listen.
They all pretend it didn't happen.
Michael: Now, here is your chance.
Justin: And it could be how Rage meets the love of his
live.
Michael: I though Rage didn't believe in love.
Justin: We'll let him think that.
[Brian is on his back, smoking in
a blue light. Justin finally comes home late.]
Justin: You're up?
Brian: Well, again. And you're late. Touch after three.
Justin: It doesn't count. I was with Michael.
Brian: All fucking night?
Justin: Only 5 minutes. And the stuff he came up was
amazing. It's like we share the same brain.
Brian: You gotta mind if you has it on Mondays,
Wednesdays, and Fridays. What's that?
Justin: This is research. Michael wants me to study the
style of comics.
Brian: Come over here.
[Justin crawls into bed with Brian. They start kissing.
The phone rings. Brian answers.]
Brian: What?!
Michael: Put Justin on. Quick!
Brian: It's fucking four in the morning.
Michael: Creativity doesn't punch a time clock!
Brian: Oh, my God, that is so profound. Can you hold on
while I write it down?
Justin: Are you a freak?
Michael: I just got this idea that couldn't wait for.
Justin: What? Tell me.
Michael: There is those chiropractor...
[Brian takes the phone and hangs up on Michael.]
Brian: Night Mikey.
Justin: That was important.
Brian: So is this.
[They go back to kissing. Justin turns over so that Brian
can kiss down his back. Justin is snoring.]
[Mel and Lindz attic. A tv
screen. There is a how-to videotape.]
TV: "I can't think of anything more rewarding and
relaxing than renovating an old attic. And it's so
simple. It just need a few tools and some well chosen
materials. And in no time the empty space will do
transformed into a cosing living area that sure to be one
of your favourite places in the house. I know mine is.
And most importantly it'll be [she snaps with her finger]
a snap!"
[Brian comes in the attic, where Mel and Lindz looking at
the TV screen.]
Brian: [points to tv] Who's this crazy bitch?
Mel: It's a re-modeling video.
Lindsay: The salesperson at the hardware store said to
follow along and doing exactly what she does.
Brian: Well then you already have fucked up.
Mel: Why's that?
Brian: You don't wearing pearls.
TV: "Let's measure our wood lengthwise."
Brian: Excuse me, girls. That's the wrong way.
Mel: What do you know?
Brian: When it comes to measuring woods I'm an expert.
[The girls turn the wood the other way and measure
again.]
Lindsay: See how easy this is? I told you we don't need
Leda.
Brian: Do I detect a note of jealously?
Lindsay: Of Leda? [she's laughing.] Don't be ridiculous.
Brian: Then why the fuck you don't help you out?
Mel: That's what I like to know.
Lindsay: I already told you. We could do it on ourselves.
[The lady on the screen cuts plywood with a powersaw.]
TV: "There. See how easy the plywood cuts? A nice,
clean egde. And never sort of wood to waste. I collect
all the part in a store in the freezer. In the spring I
mixed with fresh soil and have interesting and in
expensive march for my garden."
[Lindsay puts on her protective goggles and turns on the
saw. She screams as the saw comes to life. She almost
cuts Mel in half.]
Brian: [shouts] What kind of a dyke are you? You can't
even handle power tools.
Lindsay: Go away and looking for Gus!
Mel: You still has your legs.
[The girl on the screen delivers the punch line.]
TV: "It's a snap!"
[George's service. A gentleman
says nice things about George.]
Speaksmen: George loved his city, he loved his company
but most of all he loved his family. I reminded of a
story that he and his devoted wife, Virginia, wants
relate to me. One day came Franky from school to learn of
the hungry children, victoms of an earthquike in south
america.
[Ted and Emmett are very, very late for the service and
walk in talking.]
Ted: [whispers] This is some event. Everybody of
everybody's are here.
Emmett: I do what I need to do. More reason I'm glad I
came.
Ted: Let's find a seat.
Speaksmen: A family man who carry about familes, that
what's George Schickle was all about. I for one will miss
him deeply.
[The Pastor speaks.]
Pastor: It's obvious that this man not only broughed
nurseband to the world...
Ted: Go on. Now it's your chance. Just do it.
[Emmett stands up and starts walking toward the front.]
Emmett: I like to say something.
[Mrs. Pickle motions for Security, and guards escort
Emmett out.]
Security: Sorry, sir. There is friends and family only.
Emmett: I'm a friend. I'm more than a friend!
Ted: Take your hands off of him!
Minister: Would everybody raise for the 24 Psalm?
[Brian comes home and his loft in
a complete shithouse mess. Michael and Justin have turned
the house into a comic-book studio. There are papers
everywhere -- hung up on clothesline, covering the floor,
taped to the walls... everywhere.]
Michael: [to Justin] Perfect. This looks just...
Brian: Excuse me? Has anybody seen my fucking floor?
Justin: Uh-uh, don't get him mad.
Michael: He'll use his telecinetic dead stare that my
head exploded.
Justin: Don't miss use our power to control the other.
Brian: What I want is my loft. [he rips down one of the
papers.]
Michael: Don't touch that!
Justin: Hey, this is our sequence. Don't walk that way.
Brian: Well, how the hell I'm suppose to get to my
bedroom?
Michael: Go around.
Brian: Uh-huh. [He doesn't]
Michael: Hey!
[The boys go back to planning their comic book. Michael's
character's name is Zephyr.]
Justin: Look, here is were Zephyr tries to stop Rage from
using his head buds.
Michael: You think Zephier could be taller, with bigger
pecs.
Justin: What for?
Michael: Well, he's Rage's best friend. He should look
almost as good.
Justin: You've got it, Zeph.
Brian: You know, speaking of pecs. It's Chest of Death
night at Babylon.
Michael: Mmmh-mmm.
Justin: Okay.
Brian: So, get ready.
Justin: We got finished that first.
Michael: We meet you there.
Brian: Just remember, all work and no dick make Mikey and
Sunshine dull boys.
[Chest of Death contest.]
Men: OK, we're down to our six finalists. Who's the man
with the hottest pecs in Pittsburgh? Uh honey. Are this
nipples or bathstops tappers?
[All laughs.]
Men: All right boys. C'mon, let's pick the one.
[All cheers. The camera spins over to Ted and Emmett.]
Emmett: To be thrown out like so much garbage.
Ted: I know, I was there.
Emmett: But those two, huge, brutal monsters!
Ted: In other circumstances, it might've been hot.
Emmett: I guess I'm never get to say my speech now.
Ted: Say it to me. I'll listen.
Emmett: Thanks Teddy. Wouldn't be the same.
[Cut to Ben and Brian stand on the catwalk.]
Ben: Something tells me we've been stood up.
Brian: Over a comic book.
Ben: More than just a comic book. There's nothing as
sexual as the act of creation. When I'm writing and it's
poring out of me that's what I'm really turned-on.
Sometimes I even get hard on.
Brian: Is this what they mean with a stroke of genius?
Ben: It's the fucking great orgasm what is.
Brian: You're have your orgasms on books and I have mine
with real men.
Men: [on stage] Number five. Do you have anything you
like to get off your chest? How about me?
[the men are laughs and cheers]
Ben: It's the same with Michael and Justin. What they
sharing is most intense form of intimacy there is.
Nothing. Not even the hottest fuck in the world can come
close. So, how's with another drink? Our boyfriends are
cheating us.
[The attic for the girls.]
Lindsay: See? I told you we could do it.
Mel: Yeah, we did it alright - some as.
[It looks like maybe pieces of wood are just nailed to
the walls in various places.]
Lindsay: It's not so bad. After we plaster over to fix
the few little imperfections won't even show.
[She turns the videotape back on. It's time to install
the new sink.]
TV: "In starring your new place to be, a snap."
Mel: Everything with this bitch is a snap.
TV: "We're already attached it to the wall and it
only took 20 minutes."
Mel: Just seven hours and twenty minutes now."
[Lindsay gets into position to set up the sink.]
TV: "Let's conntect the sink to our pipes. Take your
wrench and with a strong, circular motion twin the end of
the pipe. Like so."
Lindsay: Oh, can you help me out here?
TV: "Now we attached our pipe - it's up next."
[She causes a giant leak. Water sprays everywhere as the
girls shriek and bicker with each other.]
TV: "Be sure you turned off the water first or you
have a disaster on your hands."
Mel: Has you turn off the water?
TV: "There! Now you have running water in your
attic."
[Brian has brought home two horny
men to fuck. They all hug and kiss in the doorway.]
Brian: We're have our little contest of our own. Careful,
don't step on anything... it's all in sequence. [he walks
over to his bedroom singing] Rise and shine, Sunshine!
[He sees Justin and Michael in his bed, fully clothed,
Michael's left pinky threatening to come near Justin's
thigh.]
Brian: Shit.
[He goes back into the main room and kicks out his two
tricks.]
Brian: The party's over. Put your clothes on! Just get
out, ok? GET OUT! GO!
[Brian starts cussing, pulling the drawings down from the
clothesline. He kicks papers. He pulls the drawings down
and crumples them. He walks around destroying all of the
drawings. Brian stops to pant for a second, then unzips
his pants and pisses a neon yellow stream of urine all
over a pile of drawings.]
[Morning. Michael and Justin are
snuggling in bed. They put their hands down to Justin's
cock. Each thought the other was his boyfriend. Michael
and Justin realize they fell asleep together.]
Justin: What the fuck...?
Michael: I thoughed we were Ben.
Justin: I thoughed you are Brian.
Michael: I guess we're fall asleep.
Justin: Brian? Michael?
[Justin sees the damage first. Their stuff's been
trashed. They are unhappy.]
Michael: Holy shit.
[Brian stares into his cup of
black coffee. He's at the diner. Justin and Michael storm
in, pissed off.]
Michael: Did you do this?
[Michael asks as he holds up a piece of paper.]
Justin: Did you?
Michael: Answer us!
[He says nothing.]
Justin: You are totally fucked.
Michael: How dare you piss on our work?
[Debbie hears the word "piss".]
Justin: Did you have any idea how many hours that we put
into that?
Michael: We want an explanation.
Justin: Besides the fact that you've been the worlds
biggest prick!
[Brian says nothing and goes back to his paper.]
Michael: Won't just sit there!
Justin: Say something.
Michael: C'mon. Let's go. One last thing. [he pushes the
pee page over to Brian.] You're the one that's pathetic.
[This time the boys really do leave. Debbie walks over
with a pot of coffee, wearing a shirt that reads
"Labia? I hardly even know ya." She slams the
pot down beside Brian.]
Brian: Give me a minute between rounds then and then you
can go.
Debbie: Article fourteen of the Supermom handbook says no
kicking assholes when they're down. They might take away
my halo.
Brian: I'm not an asshole; I'm just drawn that way.
Debbie: I'm sorry to disagree with you but this time the
lightness were over...
Brian: I thoughed you won't beat me up.
Debbie: Let me finish. But I understand. Cause you're
jealous.
Brian: I don't do jealous. Jealous is for lesbians.
Debbie: Then you'd better start liking pussy. Cause
you're got a little green-eyed monster inside you and
it's eaten your gut.
Brian: You mean that's not your coffee?
Debbie: I figured you had some smart idea that you
feeling always. But you don't fool me. Cause if you
didn't love them as much as you do you wouldn't give a
shit that they're spending time together and sharing
something you're not a part of.
[Debbie yanks Brian's face over to force him to look at
her.]
Debbie: What you don't get is that they feel the same way
about you. Even more so.
[Debbie holds the pee paper up.]
Debbie: They worship the way you've walked on, can't you
see it? You're their fucking hero. At least you were.
[Emmett's eating from a jar of
his dead boyfriend's pickles.]
Ted: It's the Night of Nights. What everyone in these
industrie counts and waited for all year. When the
Granada Inn is transformed into an X-rated Xanadu. Then
after the ceremonies there is the Governor's Ball. Every
porn star were be there in person. Zack O'Toole, Rodger
Morehead, Will Hardin. Only this this time you're one of
them, Emmett. The possible newcomer of the year.
Emmett: Pickle?
Ted: You heard what I just said?
Emmett: You know, when I put George's sweat on I feel if
his arms are still around me. His smells is on it. The
delicate combination of vanilla and dill.
Ted: Emmett! George wouldn't be a hermit.
Emmett: He was one... for years. Now I understand why.
Ted: Listen to me. If you let those people get your pride
they've won. It's more important ever that you get out
and celebrate.
Emmett: Celebrate what? That I whacked off on a website?
Ted: You made a lot of people happy. Especially George.
Emmett: Sorry, Teddy.
Ted: OK, this is my last and my best plea. I let you win.
I accept your Crystal Dick. I tell the world how proud I
am of you.
[Woody's. Justin and Michael are
out having drinks.]
Justin: Fucking asshole ruined everything.
Michael: At least we backed everything up on your hard
drive or else we'd really be fucked.
Justin: You all we do is to reprint and undercover a
hundred dollar would that be cost.
Michael: I send Brian the bill. You know how hard he can
get when he's behavior.
Justin: But we're doin' a comic book!
Michael: Well, we did kinda exclude him.
Justin: We were working.
Michael: In his place, in his face. Last night we've been
end in bed.
Justin: It's not that we're fucking.
Michael: I guess even a superhero can morph into a jerk.
Justin: Don't tell me you're forgive him.
Michael: Who said that?
Justin: I know you're functional history, you can forgive
him everything.
Michael: Well you're be happy to know even if I glad to
punishment everything is filled.
Justin: All this time I fooling myself, thinking he loves
me.
Michael: He does love. You saw his face this morning. We
could have removed his teeth with pliers and he would
have let us.
Justin: Maybe we should have. He deserves it.
Michael: Well we're know that Rage has a fatal weakness,
and it's not kryptonite.
[Porn awards. Two porn stars
deliver bad writing stiltedly.]
Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
last year "Best Bottom in a Gang Bang" and
three time nominate for the best "Jerk-Off So
Long" Mike Thompson and Jason Cocks!"
Mike: Well Jas, three times nominate for best Jerk-Off.
You're up with this?
Jason: I'm up with you, buff. Maybe this time I pulled it
off.
Mike: Don't pull that, you'll never win.
Jason: Now, let's get the nominate.
Mike: Nominate for the "Best Newcomer Of The
Year"...
Jason: Max Pullman.
Mike: Harold Linch.
Jason: Fetch Dixon.
Mike: The jury harm. The winner is...
Both: Fetch Dixon.
[All cheers. Ted screams for joy. On stage.]
Ted: All those years watching Jason Cocks, I can't
believe I shake his hand. The hand! Oh my god. To be
holding that Crystal Dick... such a thrill. No, I'm not
Fetch Dixon. Well I'm here accepting for him tonight,
because...
[Emmett walkes up.]
Emmett: Because... [the audience cheers] Because without
you, Ted Schmidt, I would never be here tonight.
[Applauds]
Emmett: Thank you. This award means a lot to me, more
than you ever know. If I hadn't been on JerkAtWork.net, I
wouldn't have met the most wonderful man I've ever known,
George Schickle.
Men: Schickle's Pickles?
Emmett: Um, I have this speech prepared... didn't think I
get the chance to read it. To the world - George Schickle
was a men of permanence and wealth. But to me he was
just... George. Loving, factionate, a boy at hard who
just wanted to love another boy. I was lucky enough to be
that boy. I'd like to think I brought a little fun into
his life, but what he gave me was so much more. Something
all his money couldn't buy. He made me feel like I was
somebody. [He folds up the paper] I love you, Georgie.
What we had for a few short months was more than most
people have in a lifetime. Thank you.
[The crowd applauds as Ted comes up and hugs Emmett.]
[Mel and Linds. Leda unpacks her
clothes.]
Leda: I'm glad you two came finally to your senses. If
you made any more of a mess, I have to detonate instead
of renovate.
Mel: Aha.
Lindsay: Ha-ha.
Mel: We know, we know. We're really screwed up.
Leda: Big time, babe. But it's not to late.
Lindsay: So, how long do you think it'll would take to
repair the damage?
Leda: All depends on the triangle of expectation. You can
have it fast and cheap but it won't be good. If you have
it good and fast but that won't be cheap. Or you can have
it cheap and good but it won't be fast.
Mel: So with another words it'll take 'till the next
months.
Lindsay: Or Christmas, whatever comes first.
Leda: But not to woory, ladies. You won't even know I'm
here.
[She turns on a boombox. Mel holds up a baby monitor.]
Mel: Oh. Well, goodnight Led's.
Leda: Good night.
Lindsay: I'll be right up. [Mel leave the room.] I just
wanna say how grateful I am your doin' this. And how
happy I am you're here.
Leda: You and me both. Otherwise I would be sleeping in
the park.
Lindsay: But I must admit I had my reservations.
Leda: I know. But you don't have nothing to worry about.
Mel loves you very much.
Lindsay: Thanks.
[Michael and Justin come home to
the loft. All of their papers are back up and arranged,
or reprinted.]
Justin: What the fuck?
Michael: All things back.
Brian: Careful boys. Don't step on anything.
Michael: Alright Kinney, what's goin' on?
Brian: I read your shit it's... fucking good. And the
artwork is... art. But that's the way I expect it.
Justin: Don't try sweet-talk to accomplish that, bighead.
Michael: Don't think just by putting everything back the
way we're gonna forget.
Justin: You owe us a apology.
Michael: So start begging.
Brian: I'm sorry.
Justin: That's not good enough.
Brian: What the fuck do you want me to do? To grab it?
Michael: Mean it!
Brian: What I did was immature, childish, and addictive.
It was an act of cruelty because of irrational fears and
unfounded jealousy. If I were you I've never speak to me
again.
Justin: That's better.
Michael: It's really good. So why you prefer when you
were shameless and unapologetic?
Brian: Now, here's the deal. Finish your work, built on
my chin on a superhero for Christ sakes! And when you're
done I built up a marketing campaign that every fag on
internet would buy it. That if is you want me to.
[Michael and Justin are look each other.]
Michael: Deal.
Justin: Deal.
[Brian jams his shoulder into Justin's chest and they
share a smile. The boys sit down as Brian stares at a
drawing of Rage. He listens to the boys work, and stares
at himself. Cut to a comic-book animation of Rage flying
through Pittsburgh. He lands on top of Babylon.]
END OF EPISODE==========================
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