Punky Brewster

Episode 4.18 - Wimped Out
Original Airdate: 23-May-1988

Transcribed by PunkyB_Fan for TWIZ TV.com
I do not own any of the characters in this story.



[Punky’s Treehouse; Margaux and Cherie are already sat up there, Punky makes her way up]

Punky: Hi guys! Schools out, funs in, isnt summer great?

Margaux: Brandon sure is layed back!

[Brandon is laying on a sun bed drinking a milkshake from a straw, beside him is a blender with more shake in it. He finishes off his shake and then puts his paw on the on switch for the blender. All 3 girls laugh]

Punky: Ok, let’s talk party, Cherie have you picked out the music?

Cherie: It’s not easy but ive nailed down my favourite eighty five tapes.

Punky: How about the guest list Margaux?

Margaux: It’s the crème de la crème.

Punky: Not the menu! The guest list.

Margaux: Here [she hands the list to Punky to read]

Punky: Wait a minute, Princess Di? Donald Trump? King Olaf of Norway?

Cherie: Hmm King Olaf? I eat his sardines all the time.

Punky: Cherie and I will handle the guests Margaux, were going to invite our usual friends.

Margaux: I was afraid of that, but don’t worry I’ll come anyway. Ooo my heavily insured Rolex says its time to toodle, tally ho!

Cherie: Tally ho??

Punky: It’s British for im rich and your not.

Cherie: Oh! How are you coming along with the banner?

Punky: Just gotta hang it up.

Cherie: Ok, I’ll go down and eyeball it for you.

Punky: Schools out! Bop till you drop uh huh! Schools out bop till you drop uh huh!

[Punky attaches one end of the banner to the roof of the treehouse and gets up on the ledge to hang the other side up so Cherie can check if it looks straight from below]

Cherie: Ok move it a little to the right.

Punky: Here? [She inches a little closer to the edge of the ledge]

Cherie: Err, up higher… a little more to the right… a little more.

[Punky’s swinging from a tree branch]

Punky: Ahhh!

[Cherie looks on shocked]

Punky: Cherie!!

Cherie: Hold on Punky, Don’t move!

Punky: Good advice where am I gonna move, Cherie do something!

Cherie: What should I do? What should I do??

Punky: Help me! Help me!!

Cherie: Right! I’ll get a ladder… wrong I don’t have a ladder… is the hardware store open??

[Punky’s is still swinging from the branch]

Punky: Cherie my hands are slipping!

Cherie: Ok, I’ll come up and get you!

Punky: I can’t hold on that long!

Cherie: Err, then I’ll catch you!

[She moves below Punky with her arms out wide ready to catch her]

Punky: Cherie!!! [She lets go of the branch and lands into the dirt]

Cherie: oops!

Punky: You missed!

[Henry, Margaux, Mrs. Johnson, Cherie and Punky on crutches walk through Punky’s Apartment door. Brandon barks at Punky]

Punky: Hi Brandon, don’t worry im ok.

Cherie: No she isnt Brandon, shes covering for me. Cherie the bone crusher.

Henry: Here Punky sit on the sofa.

[Punky hobbles to the seat on the sofa and crushes Henry’s toe with her crutch]

Henry: Ow!

Punky: Whoops, sorry Henry.

Cherie: No im sorry, your toe wouldn’t hurt if it wasn’t for me.

Henry: It’s alright Cherie.

Punky: Some party this is gonna be, no ones wanna gonna dance with peg leg Punky!

Margaux: That’s true, so I guess you don’t mind if I dance all night with Lance Feberhorn?

Punky: Why did this have to happen?

Mrs. Johnson: Young people heal fast honey, the doctor said that cast can come off in six weeks.

Punky: But six weeks is half the summer! I’ll have one tanned leg and one frog belly leg.

Mrs. Johnson: Henry all this frog belly talk is making me hungry.

Henry: Let’s go fix some sandwiches for the girls!

Mrs. Johnson: Any turkey left?

Cherie: Yeah! Right here… im a turkey if there ever was one.

Punky: Cherie, its no big deal.

Cherie: It is a big deal, I panicked when you needed me. I choaked. You’ve got a broken leg, a sprained wrist and a best friend whos a wimp.

Punky: You are not a wimp.

Cherie: Yes I am.

Punky: No your not.

Margaux: I have to go with Cherie here.

Punky: What?

Margaux: Well admit it, with more friends like Cherie you could end up seriously disfigured.

Punky: Margaux!

Cherie: I just never thought I’d fall apart when you needed me.

Margaux: Well aren’t you glad you found out, now we know we can’t depend on you.

Punky: Margaux!!

Cherie: No shes right… Punky remember when I got locked in the refrigerator? You didn’t panic when I needed you. Punky, you saved my life.

Margaux: Ok so Punky saved your life, shes a hero you’re a wimp, now can we get on with the rest of our lives! How do you like my new outfit?

[Both girls look at Margaux in anger]

Cherie: All I can say is im really sorry, I blew it would you forgive me?

Punky: Cherie theres nothing to forgive, now come on and sign my cast [She hands Cherie a pen]

Cherie: Are you sure you trust me with a pointed object?

Punky: Come on! [She rolls her eyes] you too Margaux.

Margaux: I don’t sign anything without consulting my lawyer.

Punky: Hey! You wrote a poem. Violets are blue, roses are red. With a friend like me you could wind up dead.

[Cherie heads to the Kitchen, Mrs. Johnson and Henry are making sandwiches]

Mrs. Johnson: Cherie would you spread on the mayonnaise?

Cherie: I better not, I’d probably spill some, Punky would walk in, slip on it and break her other leg.

[Mrs. Johnson looks at Henry and tries to get his attention just so she can talk to Cherie alone]

Henry: Betty, are you getting a facial twitch?

Mrs. Johnson: No, but im gonna give you one if you don’t get outta here. I want to talk to Cherie.

Henry: Oh! [He mimics her head movements she did to him] Just going to the living room.

Mrs. Johnson: I think you’re over reacting on this.

Cherie: No im not, how would you feel if you let your best friend take a swan dive into the dirt?

Mrs. Johnson: It was an accident, no one is to blame.

Cherie: I always hoped I’d turn out to be the hero type, but im no hero. Im worthless, im a wart on the nose of life!

Mrs. Johnson: You are not a nose wart, your being too hard on yourself.

Cherie: Not as hard as the ground was on Punky, Grandma I panicked!

Mrs. Johnson: That’s understandable, everybody feels panic at sometime in their life. The tick is not to give in to the panic, you’ve got to grit your teeth, hang on and do what needs to be done.

Cherie: I know you’re trying to make me feel better Grandma, but it’s no use as of right now im a life member of the wimp academy.

[At the Hospital- Henry, Punky, Mrs. Johnson and Punky all wait for the elevator doors to open]

Punky: My leg feels much better. Do you think the doctor will take this cast off?

Mrs. Johnson: He better not, it’s only been three days.

Cherie: three of the longest days of my life.

[Punky crushes Henry’s toe to get past]

Punky: Whoops, sorry Henry.

Henry: It’s quite alright, just aim for a different toe next time.

[Enter Nancy and Chip who’s holding a video camera filming a running commentary on his pregnant wife]

Chip: Were now in the medical building lobby, this is our last second to last pre natal check up before splash down.

Nancy: My husband thinks hes Stephen Spielberg.

Chip: Say something funny into the camera.

Nancy: My husband is an idiot.

Chip: That’s cute a little comedy… oh! Heres Nancy’s elevator and the four complete strangers that will be going up with her. Anything you’d like to say folks?

Punky: Hi im Punky and ive got a broken leg. [She shows it to the camera]

Cherie: Hi im Cherie and it’s my fault.

Nancy: The baby kicked me Chip!

Chip: Sir could you put your hand on my wife’s stomach and I’ll zoom in.

Nancy: Chip! If you ask one more strange man to feel my stomach, this baby’s going to be fatherless.

Chip: Great adlib.

[The elevator doors open]

Chip: Ok im gonna go park the car, don’t let the doctor start the examination till I get up there with the camera.

[Punky and Cherie are already in the lift, Nancy joins them]

Punky: Whoops the car, Henry you wanted me to remind you not to forget your cheque book in the car.

Henry: Thanks Punky, why didn’t you remind me while we were still in the car?

Punky: Why did you remind me to remind you?

Henry: I’ll go and get it.

Mrs. Johnson: Err, Henry you’ll be late for Punky’s appointment. I’ll get the cheque book.

Henry: Thanks Betty.

[Henry gets into the elevator, Punky pushes the button to close the doors]

Henry: Hold it! Open the door!

Punky: Whats the matter?

Henry: Betty doesn’t have the keys… and neither do I, the keys are locked in the car.

Cherie: I don’t know how but this is probably my fault too.

Henry: You girls tell the doctor I’ll be right up.

[Henry leaves]

Nancy: Oh this kid can kick, im just glad hes not wearing spikes.

[The girls laugh and Punky pushes the button to close the elevator door. It starts to move]

Punky: So, when’s your baby due?

Nancy: In a couple of weeks… what happened to you?

Cherie: Ok ok it’s my fault, I tried to catch her and I missed.

Punky: I fell out of my treehouse, it was an accident.

Nancy: Mine was too [Her baby kicks] relax I was kidding.

[The elevator suddenly stops]

Cherie: Hey the elevator stopped, were somewhere between the ninth and the tenth floor.

Punky: I’ll try the buttons.

Nancy: I think were stuck.

Cherie: Oh! Don’t blame me.

Nancy: Whats her problem?

Cherie: Im a jinx.

Punky: Shes not a jinx… Look heres a phone, we’ll call for help. Hello (She listens) The phones dead.

Nancy: Maybe she is a jinx.

Cherie: Ohh.

Punky: Don’t worry were perfectly safe in here.

Cherie: Unless.

Nancy: Unless what?

Cherie: The cables snap and we fall nine floors to our death!

Punky: Cherie!

Nancy: Uh oh, I think we have another problem. Im going into labor!

Punky: Labor?

Nancy: The baby’s coming!

Punky and Cherie in unison: Now!

Nancy: Now!

Punky and Cherie in unison: Were having a baby!

Punky: Don’t worry keep calm the three of us will make it out of here, please don’t make it four of us.

Nancy: Ohh!!

Punky: Here sit down (She helps Nancy onto the floor)

Nancy: Ohh!

Cherie: Does it hurt a lot?

Nancy: It aint no hang nail... try the buttons again.

[Punky tries them]

Nancy: Ive got to know the exact time.

Punky: Why do you have an appointment?

Nancy: Yeah with Junior, ive got to time my contractions.

Cherie: What are contractions?

Punky: Don’t you remember we learned it in school, it’s when you jam two words together and stick an apostrophe in.

Cherie: oh yeah! Like cant, wont, don’t.

Nancy: Please!

Punky: That’s not a contraction.

Nancy: The pains are coming faster!

Cherie: Well slow them up theres no rush here.

Nancy: I can’t slow them up, when it happens… it happens.

Punky: Cherie what are we gonna do?

Cherie: CPR!

Punky: She doesn’t need CPR.

Cherie: Heimlich?

Punky: Shes not choking!

Cherie: Theres only one other thing I know how to do, I doubt that she needs a manicure!

[Back down in the lobby, a phone operator is fixing the elevator phone. Henry and Mrs. Johnson are getting even more worried by the minute]

Henry: Why are you fixing the phone? Shouldn’t you be fixing the elevator?

Harry: Oh I don’t fix elevator, but don’t worry the people that do are on their way. They’ll be here, eventually.

Mrs. Johnson: Well hurry up and fix the telephone so we can find out that our kids are ok.

Harry: Lady you wouldn’t be so tense, if you add more bran into your diet!

[Mrs. Johnson goes to grab him but Henry stops her just in time]

Harry: Ah! There we go phones working now… I’ll just ring the elevator, hope it’s not a toll call… Hello? Who might this be? Oh come on! No ones named Punky!

Henry: Give me that phone! (He snatches it from him)

Phone operator: Err! Go right ahead its time for lunch anyways.

Henry: Hello… Punky? Are you alright? You are, thank goodness. Their ok their just having a baby… your having a baby!

Mrs. Johnson: Oh my lord! I’ll go get a doctor.

[Chip comes back into the lobby]

Chip: Whats going on?

Henry: Your wife’s stuck in the elevator, and shes gone into labor.

Chip: What!

Henry: Please sir, it’s important that you remain calm.

Chip: Don’t worry, im fine.

Henry: Good for you.

[Chip collapses into Henry’s arms]

[Back up in the elevator, Nancy screams]

Punky: 10 seconds, 12 seconds.

Cherie: Punky! I think I have that fear of being trapped in small tight places… Closet phobia.

Punky: How do you feel?

Cherie: A little queasy.

Punky: Not you Nancy!

Nancy: Ok the contractions over… whats the time?

Punky: Err, 30 seconds.

Nancy: Ok ive got to breathe deep and relax. Feels like Herman’s on his way.

Punky: Herman? You’ve named your kid Herman?

Nancy: Yes.

Cherie: On purpose?

Nancy: Whats wrong with Herman?

Cherie: I guess it’s ok if you’re last names Munster, but no real person wants to be named Herman.

Nancy: I see, what would you name him?

Cherie: Well my favourite name in the entire world is Shaun.

Punky: yeah Shaun is cool, but not Herman.

Cherie: Definitely not Herman, that’s as bad as naming your kid Sidney.

Punky: Is this your first kid?

Nancy: Oh no our second our first son was born two years ago.

Punky: Really whats his name?

Nancy: Sidney!

Punky: Whoops.

Nancy: Oh! It’s starting…

Cherie: I hope shes talking about the elevator.

Nancy: No the baby’s coming.

Punky: No Herman not yet, go back!

Nancy: My husband promised he’d be here when the baby came, Chip you jerk! You had to park down the block because the doctor wouldn’t validate! Next time you’re gonna have the baby.

[The elevator phone rings]

Punky: The phones working again [She picks it up] Hello? Maternity ward? Its Doctor Craig is there anything you want to tell him?

Nancy: Yeah tell him this [She groans in pain for a long time]

[Cherie stands in front of Punky as a sheild]

Cherie: Oh no! Stand back, shes gonna explode!

Punky: Cherie I can’t help her, it’s up to you.

Cherie: What do you mean up to me?

Punky: Doctor Craig’s going to tell us what to do and you’ve got to do it, ive only got one hand.

Cherie: No way Punky! I can’t handle this.

Punky: Sure Mrs. Johnson, it’s your Grandma she wants to speak to you. (She hands the phone to Cherie)

Cherie: Hello Grandma?

Mrs. Johnson: Cherie! I want you to listen to me.

Cherie: Grandma this is your department, you’ve got to get up here right away climb up the cables!

Mrs. Johnson: Calm down Cherie.

Cherie: Grandma Im scared, im getting that panic feeling again.

Mrs. Johnson: Just remember what I told you, grit your teeth. Hang on and do what needs to be done.

Cherie: Im gritting my teeth and im hanging on.

Nancy: Here he comes. (She screams in pain)

[Cherie hands the phone receiver to Punky]

Cherie: Ok, ok don’t worry were going to help you through this. Oh my god Punky theres the head!

Punky: We can see the head! The Doctor says push! Push!

Cherie: It’s working, here he comes. Come on you can do it, Come on Herman!

[The elevator lights flicker and it starts to move]

Punky: Cherie the elevators moving.

Cherie: Don’t bother me im busy.

[The elevator doors open and the doctor steps in while Punky and Cherie step out]

Doctor Craig: Ok girls I’ll take over now.

[Chip enters the elevator with his camera]

Chip: Im here Nancy and ive got the camera, do you mind getting a shot of me and Herman together?

[Outside the elevator back in the Hospital lobby]

Henry: Are you girls ok?

Cherie: I think so.

Punky: You should of seen Cherie, she was awesome!

Mrs. Johnson: That doesn’t surprise me… you’re really out of the wimp academy now.

Punky: Cherie! Do you realize what you just did? You delivered a baby!

Cherie: Yeah I did… didn’t I! (She smiles and suddenly realizes what she did)

[She collapses into Henry’s arms, Punky and Mrs. Johnson try to wake her up]

[Punky Backyard, Henry’s gardening while Cherie and Punky are sat on chairs. Cherie’s helping Punky to bend her healed leg. Enter Mrs. Johnson from the back door]

Mrs. Johnson: Hey everybody, look whos here.

[Chip, Nancy and their new born son enter the backyard]

Chip: Were now entering the backyard of the people who played a large part in the birth of our son! Smile folks!

[Punky and Cherie wave frantically at the camera Chip is holding]

Punky: Hello! (She blows kisses)

Nancy: Look Chip, vegetables!

Chip: Ohh! (He races over to them with his camera)

Nancy: Chip and I want to thank you girls for all you did (she looks at Mrs. Johnson) you should be very proud of Cherie.

Mrs. Johnson: She always makes me proud.

Cherie: Can I hold him?

Nancy: Sure (she hands her baby wrapped in a blue blanket to Cherie)

Punky: Hi there Herman.

Nancy: Oh it’s not Herman… its Shaun.

Punky: Shaun!

Cherie: That’s the name I picked.

Nancy: You delivered him, I thought you should name him.

Cherie: Hes got dimples.

Punky: Hes got blue eyes.

Cherie: Hes adorable.

Punky: Hes smiling.

Cherie: Hes leaking! (She hands him back to Nancy)

[She smiles and pats his bottom]

END OF SHOW



Guest Starring...
Patrika Darbo (Nancy)
Allen Katz (Chip)
Owen Bush (Harry)
Al Christy (Doctor Craig)