Henry: Did you forget to take the hanger out of your shirt?

Punky: Cool isn't it? I bought it for the DeBarge concert tomorrow night

Henry: Shouldn't go to a concert when you need that kind of protection

Punky: Henry, it's a fashion statement I read in the Rock Report. Randy and Marty DeBarge love the Joan Crawford look

Henry: It's more like the Chicago Bears look

Punky [looking through magazine]: Here's a story I missed, Chico DeBarge's favourite vegetable, Oh my gosh, he loves corn too!

[Margeaux and Cherie come running in wearing shoulder pads]

Cherie: We got em! We got em!

Margeaux: Excuse her, my first pair of shoulder pads left me giddy too!

Girls: eek

Henry: Girls, I can't imagine Betty letting you buy such outfits

[Betty walks in wearing shoulder pads]

Betty: Hi Henry

Henry: I see the rest of the defensive line is here

[Girls are looking at a picture of DeBarge]

Cherie: Wow, how can everybody in the same family be so gorgeous

Margeaux: That's the way it is in my family, you know we should have a poster done

Cherie: Get real Margeaux. Come on lets go buy some more of these

Betty: Not so fast Cherie, you've got homework, what about your book report?

Cherie: I finished it last night

Margeaux: I finished mine the day the assignment was given. My mother's secretary typed it

Cherie: Is yours finished Punky?

Punky: Ya, it's being typed too, I mean it will be as soon as I type it

Henry: Tea Betty?

Betty: Awesome Chet! [When Betty walks through kitchen door she must turn sideways in order to fit]

Henry: Punky, I hope you realize they'll be no DeBarge concert until I read your book report

Punky: Sure, no problem

[Henry leaves room]

Punky: Big problem

Cherie: What's wrong?

Punky: Henry wants to read my book report

Margeaux: So, how bad could it be?

Punky: I don't know how bad it could be, I haven't written it yet

Cherie: Why not?

Punky: Cause I haven't read a book yet

Cherie: Well I hope you're a speed reader

Punky: Why go through the trouble of reading when there's a much easier way

Margeaux: What do you mean

Punky: This is a job for Spud Blunder

[Punky's in her room when Spud appears in the tree outside the window]

Spud: Punky!

Punky: Hi Spud

Spud: We'll talk later, help me in quick! I can't stand heights!

[Punky helps Spud in]

Punky: What took you so long?

Spud: Hey, I came as fast as I could, book report time is my busiest season, except for finals

Punky: What have you got for me?

Spud: A gold mine!

[Spud hands Punky a huge book]

Punky: 101 plot outlines of famous novels

Spud: That baby will supply you with book reports clear through college

Punky: Wow

Spud: Ya, you may never have to read again

Punky: Great, how much?

Spud: 20 bucks

Punky: What? That's highway robbery!

Spud: Hey, I have business expenses, half of everything I make goes to my dad to keep him quiet

Punky: I'll give you 5 dollars

Spud: Nope, better change your name to Flunky Brewster, bye!

Punky: Wait Spud, isn't there some way I can change your mind?

Spud: I never change my mind

[Spud climbs out window and tree branch starts to snap]

Punky: What was that?

Spud: The sound of my mind changing, help me back inside

Punky: Ok, but first how much for the book?

Spud: 15 bucks, that price is firm

[Branch snaps more]

Punky: Firm?

Spud: Did I say firm? I meant 5, it's yours for 5 bucks

Punky: I'll give you 1 dollar

Spud: 1 dollar?! Forget it!

[Branch snaps even more]

Spud: It's a deal, help me!

[Punky and Brandon are dancing to DeBarge music when Henry walks in and turns off the music]

Henry: I told you there'd be no DeBarge concert until I read your book report

Punky: I know

Henry: You did finish it didn't you?

Punky: Ya, sure, ages ago

Henry: Which one of the childhood classics did you choose? Little Women, Tom Sawyer [Henry looks at the book report] War and Peace, interesting choice, what did you think of it?

Punky: Loved war, hated peace

Henry: Punky, did you really write this book report?

Punky: Ya, you see, all the i's are dotted with happy faces

[Henry reads out book report]

Henry: Sulfar's brooding images magnificently portray the epic struggle of 5 families' resistance to the nepolyanic invasion of Russia

Punky: Good stuff, huh?

Henry: Punky, you did not actually read War and Peace, this book report is playjourized

Punky: No it isn't, I copied it!

Henry: Why didn't you just read a book

Punky: Because reading books is boring

Henry: No it's not, it's an adventure, every good book takes you into its own world

Punky: If I want to see the world I'll join the Navy

Henry: You read all these magazines, why can't you read good literature

Punky: Because good literature takes too long. I can read 5 magazines and watch divorce court at the same time

Henry: Punky, you can forget the DeBarge concert

Punky: No!

Henry: Not only did you not complete your assignment but you were about to cheat

Punky: I'm sorry Henry, honest, if I miss this concert I'll just die!

Henry: Not before you write a real book report you won't

Punky: Please Henry, I'm begging you, you see, this is begging

Henry: You will go to your room and read. I have just the book for you, Tom Sawyer

[Henry goes to find the book and Punky clings on to his leg so Henry drags her along the floor]

Punky: Please Henry, please Henry, please Henry

Henry: Get off me

Punky: Henry, I've been looking forward to this concert since birth!

Henry: I'm sorry but this is for your own good. Someday you'll understand

Punky: No I won't, and you know what else? I'll never forgive you as long as I live

[DeBarge are running into their dressing room (through a bunch of screaming girls)]

DeBarge's Manager: Right, that's as far as they go. Bobby, Marty, Randy, Chico....(realizes one's missing) JAMES! [The Manager opens the dressing room door and finds James with his shirt all ripped up]

James: It's like feeding time at the zoo

Manager: Ah, James, what a mess. Alright fellas, it's all over, tonight we can relax

[There's a knock at the door]

Marty [in a high pitched voice]: Sorry, the boys are getting a massage

Henry[behind door]: But I'm supposed to interview them!

Manager: Interview? I don't remember an interview, hey I don't want to pass up the publicity

[Manager opens the door and finds Henry all dressed up in leather and chains]

Henry: Hey man, I'm Henry the hipster and I love rock n' roll

Chico: It is now 10pm, do you know where your parents are?

Manager: You're Henry the hipster?

Henry: In the skin. Didn't you groove on my column in rock report? Here's my ID

[Henry quickly opens his walet then quickly closes it]

Marty: That looked like a medi-care card to me

Manager: Are you sure you have an interview scheduled today?

Henry: Right off

Bobby: You mean right on?

Henry: Whatever blows your hair back

Manager: Right, thats done it, time to hit the road pops, come on let's go

Henry: Bag those vibes chet, I'm here to crop a killer interview, something insane, you awesome dudes are really rads so I'm not going to be ragging your chain just fill my dance card and I'll chill out

Chico: What did he say?

Marty: I don't know but I give it a 40, no beat and hard to dance to

Henry: I'll have you know that I've seen Pretty In Pink 8 times

Manager: I don't know what your game is but as of now its been cancelled, now you can chill out, like out the door

Henry: Alright, I'll tell you the truth, I'm not really from a rock magazine

DeBarge: NO!

Henry: I'm just a square parent with a problem, my daughter absolutely idolizes you, she wanted to come to the concert but I wouldn't let her because she didn't do her book report

Bobby: That's cold

Henry: I had to do something, I can't get her to read a book

Chico: Have you tried glasses?

Henry: No, she thinks reading is boring. Now, I think you're all terrific performers but I also think that you have a certain responsibility to kids as role models

Manager: Right, can you spare us the guilt and get to the point

Henry: The point is that my daughter is under the impression that reading and rock n' roll don't mix

Chico: Hey, tell your daughter, Chico and DeBarge said to hit the books pronto

Henry: It would mean so much more if you told her, her name is Punky, here's our address, I know this sounds a little pushy right?

DeBarge: Right

Manager: Look, look, look, Mr. Hipster, the guys are in the middle of a tour, we hardly got time enough to breathe, right?

DeBarge: Right

Henry: I guess it was a crazy idea, right?

DeBarge: Right

Henry: Well, thank you anyway

[Punky is sitting on the couch when Brandon comes in with the book Tom Sawyer in his mouth]

Punky: Tom Sawyer, I bet Henry put you up to this, where was I, oh ya, page one. Maybe if I skip ahead a little

[Ding Dong]

[Punky opens door and finds DeBarge standing outside her door]

Chico: Hi, you must be Punky

Punky: Excuse me

[Punky closes door, drops her mouth open and opens the door again]

Punky: Excuse me

[Punky closes door, knocks herself in the head and opens the door again and finds nothing]

Punky: I knew I was dreaming

[DeBarge step into the doorway]

DeBarge: We're DeBarge

[Punky faints]

James: Is she ok?

Punky: No, I need mouth to mouth recessitation

[Punky gets up]

Punky: Marty, Bobby, James, Chico, Randy

[DeBarge all shake hands with each other]

DeBarge: Nice to meet you

Punky: If I'm dreaming please don't let me wake up

Chico: You're not dreaming Punky

Punky: How do you know my name?

Marty: We got it from your dad, Henry the hipster

Punky: Henry the hipster?

Marty: Ya, he broke in on us last night all upset about you not wanting to read

James: And we can't have that

Punky: You mean the whole DeBarge family came here just to get me to read?

Randy: That's right babe, reading is important

Marty: And we all came here to tell you that

James: Ya, cause we're role models

Chico: And reading's cool, be cool

Punky: I am, I'm reading a book right now

Bobby: Tom Sawyer, good book

Marty: Hey, isn't that the one with the fence

James: And Becky Thatcher

Randy: And Injun Joe

[Betty and Henry walk in]

Chico: And Henry the hipster?

Henry: This is great, you guys came after all. Guys this is Betty, Betty this is Chico and DeBarge

DeBarge: Hi Betty

[Betty faints]

Henry: She'll be alright, she's a nurse

Punky: Henry, why didn't you tell me reading was cool?

Henry: I guess I couldn't find the right words

Marty: You know Punky, your dad was all upset that you couldn't make it to the concert last night

Punky: That makes two of us

Marty: No problem, we deliver

Chico: May I help you to your front row seat

[Marty puts in a tape and they perform a song]

[In the hall Cherie and Margeaux hear Punky clapping (at the end of the song)]

Cherie: Why would Punky cheer for a record?

Margeaux: The poor thing has gone from depression to insanity, come on she really needs us

[The girls open the door and see DeBarge, they then close it and shriek and then re enter]

Cherie: How nice

Margeaux: Friends of yours?

Punky: Ya, they were just in the neighbourhood

[All three girls shriek]

[DeBarge perform another song]

END OF SHOW