Notes - It exists an unaired pilot of the show, which is basically just an 11-minute short with the general flow of the series. This pilot was much more crude, in the style of Ren & Stimpy and those kinds of cartoons. The art was rough, though the main characters looked basically the same. This pilot will obviously never air, but it will hopefully make it onto the Internet someday, once production of the show is completely done for.
(TVTome.com)
~~~~~~~~~~ The Nightmare Begins ~~~~~~~~~~
An
Irken ship zooms past the camera. An entire legion of ships is seen. They are
all heading towards a purple gas planet with a metal ring around It, the
planet Conventia. Floating monitors in space broadcast the image of the
Conventia Announcer.
Conventia Announcer:
Welcome brave Irken soldiers. Welcome to Conventia, the convention hall planet.
Please, proceed to the docking ring and take the complimentary teleporters to
the planet's surface!
The
ships approach the docking ring, the metal ring around Conventia, and mechanical
tubes stretch out and attach to the ships. Pink energy is sucked out of the ship
and into the docking ring, where it is projected onto Conventia via
satellite. Monitors hover above a city on Conventia, some displaying the
Conventia Announcer, others displaying a green monkey. Spittle Runners also fly
over the city.
Conventia Announcer:
Be sure to visit the gift shop for all kinds of cheap, useless stuff!
On
the planet's surface, a beam of pink energy hits a hovering receptor, which
converts the energy into an Irken.
Conventia Announcer:
If you came for the great assigning, please remember where you parked and
proceed to the main convention hall.
Many
Irkens walk towards the convention hall, while Irken Security monitors the
crowds on hovering pods. The main convention hall has a large red robot sitting
on top of it. As the Irkens enter the convention hall, the Irken Security fly
their hover pods into several openings in the walls.
Red Robot:
Galactic conquest is near! Galactic conquest is near! (this is repeated over and over)
Inside the main convention hall, the Irkens walk past an x-ray. Some of
the Irkens carry purple balloons. A huge crowd of Irkens fills the convention
hall. On the stage at the front of the convention hall is a disk-shaped metal
pod. Electric currents charge between the ceiling and the pod. The Irken
Invaders stand on a platform curved around the back of the metal pod. The hover
screens displaying the Conventia Announcer hover over to the sides of the
pod.
Conventia Announcer:
Now, wiggle your antennae in salute, because here they are! Your all-knowing,
all-powerful leaders, the Almighty Tallest!
A
beam of light shines down from the ceiling and onto the pod. Hatches of the pod
unlock and it opens up, emitting smoke. The Irkens proceed to wiggle their
antennae in salute. The top half of the pod begins to rise to the ceiling. Small
floating spheres emerge from the bottom half of the pod and rise above the
audience. The metal spheres emit lasers in all directions. Two posts lower from
the ceiling pod, which creates a holograph between them. A hover disk detaches
from the bottom of the ceiling pod. It lowers downwards, with Almighty Tallest
Red and Purple standing on it. The Tallest wave and the disk emits lasers from
the rim. The audience cheers.
Purple: Thank you!
Thank you!
Red: See, told you
they'd love the lasers.
Purple: Everything is
lasers with you! I'm telling you, smoke machines are what the people really
wa-
A
laser beam hits Purple in the eye and he falls over, screaming in pain. The
audience cheers.
Red: See?
The
disk lands on the lower half of the pod. As Red talks, Purple gets up and rubs
his eye.
Red: Welcome mighty
Irken soldiers! You are the finest examples of military training the Irken army
has to offer! Good for you. Standing behind us, however, are the soldiers we've
chosen for roles in one of the most crucial parts in operation impending doom
II!
The
hologram behind them goes from a blank screen to that of a galactic
map.
Red: You in the
audience just get to sit and watch.
Purple: You should
have tried harder!
Red: These superior
ones-
Purple (cutting in):
-Not quite as superior as us of course!
Red: Pffff... Duh!
These less superior than us but still quite superior soldiers will each be
assigned to an enemy planet!
Purple: There you
will blend in with the hideous native inhabitants.
Red: All while
gathering crucial information, assessing the planet's weaknesses, making it
vulnerable to our big... space ship... gang!
Purple: The armada?
Now, let the assigning begin!
The crowd is silent.
Irken in the back of the audience: Whooooo!
Red: Step forward
Invader Larb.
Invader Larb hops onto the pod. A little ramp extends from the
Tallest's disk to the pod. Larb runs up the ramp.
Red: Ah! You seem to
have grown since last you stood before us, soldier!
Purple: You've been assigned to planet Blorch- (the
holograph behind them shows a picture of Invader Larb being attacked by giant
rats) home of the slaughtering rat
people!
Invader Larb: Why
would you draw that!?
Larb's eyes water.
Red:
However, because of your increased height, we have decided to give you the
planet Vort- (the
picture changes to one of Invader Larb relaxing on a large couch) home of the universe's most comfortable
couch.
Invader Larb:
Yeeeeeees!
He
takes his assignment sheet from Purple then slides away joyfully.
Purple: Next, Invader
Spleen!
Invader Spleen walks up.
Red and Purple: Ooooooh!
Invader Spleen has a really long head that impresses the Almighty
Tallest. He also has a band-aid. Meanwhile, Zim's Voot Cruiser flies towards the
docking ring.
Zim: Move it, move
it! Invader coming! Arg, move it! Get out of the way!
Zim
sandwiches his voot cruiser in between two docked Irken ships. Cut back to the
great assigning...
Purple: And last,
Invader Skoodge!
A
short, fat Invader with a stained shirt walks up.
Red: Oh, now that's
just sad.
Purple: Could you get
any shorter?
Invader Skoodge looks at the Almighty Tallest sadly.
Red: You will be
assigned to Blorch, home of the slaughtering rat people. Thank you.
A
picture of Invader Skoodge being attacked by the rat people appears on the
holograph. Tears swell up in Skoodge's eyes. Zim pushes his way to the front of
the main convention hall through the crowds of Irkens.
Zim: Get out of the
way! Move it, move it! Get out of my way!
Red: Thus concludes
the great assigning!
Zim: Move! You're in
my way! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Move it! Move it! (and so
on...)
Red: Help yourselves
to some nachos, and we'll see you at the equipping station.
Purple: Yes, gorge
yourselves, you mooch it!
Zim: No, no, no!
Wait!
Zim
waves an arm from the front of the crowd.
Red: That
voice!
Zim
crawls onto the pod.
Red:
No!
Purple: It can't be!
Zim
rears his head up.
Red and Purple:
ZIM!
Zim
walks up to where the Tallest are. Invader Skoodge slowly backs away from
Zim.
Zim: Sorry I am late,
my Tallest. I couldn't find my invitation. You're lucky I even made it at
all.
Red: You weren't
invited at all.
Purple: Weren't you
banished to Foodcourtia? Shouldn't you be... frying something?
Zim: Oh, I quit when
I found out about this.
Purple: You quit
being banished?
Red: The assigning is
over, Zim.
Zim: But you can't
have an invasion without me! I was in operation Impending Doom 1! Don't you
remember?
Purple: Oh yes, we
remember.
Flashback to planet Irk. Sirens are going off. Two Irkens run towards a
parked Spittle Runner. Several explosions occur and the two Irkens run away from
the Spittle Runner right before a large robotic foot of Frontline Battle Mech #4
crushes it. In the cockpit of the battle mech, Zim pulls levers while laughing
maniacally.
Irken Operator: But
sir, we're still on our own planet!
Zim: Silence! Twist
those knobs! Twist those knobs! You! Pull some levers! Pull some levers!
The Irken operators obey disdainfully. The Almighty Tallest watch speechlessly from a
building as the battle mech rampages through the wrecked city with Zim's
laughter ringing in the air. Further damage occurs when a large cannon on the
mech's back spins around shooting lasers. The flashback ends. Zim attempts to
smile innocently.
Zim: I put the fires
out.
Red: You made them
worse!
Zim: Worse... or
better?
Purple: Guh...
Besides, no invader has ever been so... very small. You're very small, Zim.
You're a tiny thing.
Zim: But, invader's
blood marches through my veins! Like giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants
command me! Do not ignore my veins!
Red: As a show of...
gratitude for your service in the past, eh, here's a sandwich.
Red
pulls a sandwich out of his suit and hands it to Zim.
Zim: But-
Purple: Thanks for
coming everybody!
Zim: No!
Purple:
Goodnight!
Zim: Noooo!
Wait!
Purple: What? You got
your sandwich!
Zim: My Tallest, an
opportunity to prove that I truly can be an invader is all that I ask!
Gimme!
Red (to Purple):
Hold on, I've got a plan. (to
Zim) We see now that you are truly
deserving.
Zim: Yes. Yes I
am.
Red: You will be sent
to a planet so mysterious, no one has even heard of it!
Purple: Right! And
those who have heard of it dare not speak its name!
Zim: What's its
name?
Purple: Oh, I dare
not speak it!
Zim: Where is
it?
Red: Um... (he
starts hovering around searching the holograph of the universe for a
planet) Uh... Uh... Um... Right
there!
Red
points to a slip of paper taped to the holograph pole that shows the outline of
a planet and a question mark in it with the word 'planet?' written underneath
it.
Zim: Ooh! Oooooooooh!
A secret mission!
Red: Happy
now?
Zim: Yes.
Red: Invaders! Report
to the equipment hall! Oh, and remember! Lasers.
A
laser hits Purple in the eye.
Purple:
Ahhhhhh!
Red: The universe
will be ours for the taking! It's only a matter of time before all the races of
the Universe serve the Irken Empire!
Purple: I'll have
them serve me the curly fries.
'Curly fries' is echoed over and over as a close up of the slip of paper
with the unknown planet changes to a shot of a galaxy that looks exactly like
the planet on the slip of paper, question mark and all. Zoom in on the galaxy at
light speed until planet Earth is visible, then planet Earth is zoomed in on
until Dib is visible, sitting on a roof top receiving a transmission from
Conventia. He is there with a laptop computer attached to a satellite and he is
wearing headphones. He pulls off the headphones.
Dib: They're
coming!
Dib
jumps off of the roof and slides down a pipe. Meanwhile, Gaz opens the
refrigerator inside.
Gaz: Dib drank the
last soda. He will pay!
Outside, Dib slides down the rest of the pipe and swings into an open
window where he falls into a sink filled with water.
Dib: They're
coming!
Dib
jumps out of the sink and runs to his father, Professor Membrane.
Dib: Dad! They're
coming! I heard them! I actually heard them! I was up on the roof, and I heard
this transmission that was coming through!
Professor Membrane:
Shtshtshtsht! Not now son! I'm making (sparks of electricity fly everywhere)
TOAST!
Professor Membrane lifts up a piece of toast triumphantly. Dib runs to
his sister, Gaz. Gaz is holding juice since she couldn't find a soda.
Dib: Gaz! They're
coming! They really are!
Gaz: Who's coming,
Dib?
Dib: I don't
know...
Fade
in to the equipping station where the invaders gather around the Almighty
Tallest. Purple puts a compact robot on the ground, which unfolds into an
infant-sized robot.
Purple: This is your
standard issue information retrieval unit, also known as a SIR. It will assist
you in gathering valuable knowledge during your mission.
Red: It's also a
thermos!
Purple picks up the SIR and it compacts again.
Purple: Who wants
this one?
Invader: I do!
Purple throws it and it hits the invader.
Invader: Ow! Thank
you.
Red: Everyone else,
line up and take a robot!
The
invaders line up. Out of the wall, a long mechanical tentacle that serves as a
conveyor belt emerges. Several compact SIR units slide down. The first Invader
in line, Invader Larb, steps up. A SIR detaches from the wire and
unfolds.
Larb: SIR! Go warm up
my ship's engines.
SIR: Yes master, I
obey!
The SIR
and Larb walk off as Zim steps forward.
Zim: Finally! A robot
slave of my own!
Zim
reaches his arms out, waiting to get his own SIR.
Red: Um, eh, we have
a top-secret model for you, Zim.
Red
waves his hand over a hole near him and a trashcan emerges. Red searches through
the junk and SIR parts, as Purple pulls out a screw, 2 pennies, a paper clip,
and a rubber ball from his pocket band. Red attaches some eyes to a head as
Purple dumps the junk in as a brain for the new robot. Purple makes a howling
kind of whistle noise and tosses the hunk of junk in front of Zim. It lies
there, inactivated.
Zim: It looks kind
of... not good.
Purple: Yes! Well,
that's what the enemy will think! (Red nods in agreement) Get it?
Zim: I see! Very
good! It even fooled me! I am honored to be trusted with such advanced
technology!
The
Almighty Tallest giggle to themselves. Suddenly, the robot activates with red
glowing eyes and runs up to Zim.
GIR: GIR, reporting
for duty!
Zim: GIR? What does
the 'g' stand for?
GIR's
eyes turn blue.
GIR: I don't
know!
GIR
stands there stupidly. He then hits himself in the head repeatedly.
GIR: Wheeeeee hoo hoo
hoo! Wheeeeeeee hoo hoo hoo!
Zim: Um, is it
supposed to be stupid?
Purple: It's not
stupid. It's advanced!
GIR
hops on his head repeatedly.
All
the Irken ships start to leave Conventia. Zim's Voot Cruiser separates from the
rest and heads for Earth.
Zim: Okay, GIR! Our
mission starts now! Let us reign some doom down upon the filthy heads of our
doomed enemies!
GIR: I'm
gonna sing the doom song now! Doom doom doom doo doom doom (and so on)
GIR
continues to sing the doom song as the Voot Cruiser zooms off.
Commercial Break
The words '6
months later'
appear against a black background.
Then we see a weak looking Zim lying back on his chair with his mouth hanging
open and his tongue hanging out, drool sloping down his face. GIR is still
singing the doom song.
Zim: GIR... Would you
please stop singing?
Zim
gets up and prepares to attack GIR but is interrupted by the
computer.
Computer: Proximity
warning: Planet ahead.
Zim's
control panel shows an image of the planet with the word Earth next to
it.
Zim: GIR, we're here!
We're finally here!
GIR
gives Zim a hand motion indicating that he is not done singing the doom
song.
GIR: Doom, doom,
doom, the end! Ooh, what's that?
Zim: Planet Earth!
This must be the place. Okay, first we have to set up a base of
operations.
GIR: Heehee.
Zim: Focus GIR! This
is where your advanced information gathering skills come in handy!
GIR's
eyes turn red and he salutes Zim.
GIR: Yes my master!
(his eyes turn blue again as he rushes to the window) Groit!
The
Voot Cruiser flies closer to the surface of Earth through clouds.
Zim: You have to
observe what these... Earthenoids consider to be... normal. Then, based on your
observations, we make our disguises... and our home.
The
Voot Cruiser veers downward even closer to the surface of Earth. As they fly by,
the control panel shows many Earthenoid objects such as cars and squirrels. The
Voot Runner passes over a pink flamingo, the 105.5 FM WTFU radio station, a lawn
gnome, and many houses.
Zim: Here! We build
here!
The
ship abruptly stops over a gap between two houses and lowers down into it. As
the Voot Cruiser lands, it create a great cloud of dust which seeps out into the
street. Zim's shadowy figure walks out of the dust and looks around.
Zim: Ooh, that was
easy! GIR! Get out here!
GIR
jumps out of the Voot Cruiser and hits the ship on the way down causing him to
fall on his face.
Zim: Hurry GIR! What
did you learn?
GIR
gets up.
GIR: I saw a
squirrel.
Zim
gives GIR a puzzled look.
GIR: It was doin'
like this-
GIR
imitates a squirrel.
Zim: Concentrate,
GIR! It is time for disguises!
GIR: I wanna be a
mongoose.
Zim: Shhh! We have to
be quite!
GIR's
eyes turn red as he salutes Zim. Zim creeps over to the Voot Cruiser and glances
around stealthily. He activates the disguise program. The Voot Cruiser
reconfigures itself so that it is set up to create the disguises. Two poles
emerge from the ship which creates a hologram in between them that displays an
image of Zim. The computer sorts through possible disguises, starting with
Jhonen Vasquez.
Zim: Too ugly!
The
second option is Steve Ressel.
Zim: Too
stinky!
The
next disguise is Zim wearing contact lenses and a toupee.
Zim: That one looks
good!
Zim
selects that disguise. Two pods from the Voot Runner close on Zim making an egg
shape when interlocked. Light pours out of the crevices where the two pods
meet.
Zim: Guh! Why does it
hurt!?!
The
two panels open revealing the disguised Zim. GIR looks around.
GIR: Master? Where
did you go? Where are you?
Zim
waves his arms.
Zim: I'm right here,
GIR! It's me! And keep it down, do you wanna wake up the whole planet?
GIR: I dooo.
Zim: Okay, for you,
I'm thinking maybe a dog.
GIR: Can I be a
mongoose dog?
The
disguise program goes through several breeds of dogs before Zim selects
one.
Zim: Today, we become
the enemy!
Zim
places GIR between the closing pods. They shut on him and light pours out of the
crevice where the two panels meet. The pods open to reveal the poorly disguised
GIR. His dog suit looks nothing like the one Zim chose and it is
green.
Zim: Ingenious!!!
Now, all we need is a home. Let's see.
Zim
pulls out a capsule which unfolds as am electronic pad complete with pen. Zim
doodles a house on it.
Zim: Some windows, a
couple of little animal things in front. There!!!
Zim
closes the electronic pad into a capsule with a drill. He sticks the capsule
into the ground.
Zim: GIR!
Hide!
GIR's
feet squeak as they run out into the street. Zim hides behind a fire hydrant and
GIR stands in the street.
Zim: And be quite! We
can't afford to make a sound!
The
capsule bores deeper and deeper into the ground before it stops. It unfolds into
a fan shape and shoots mechanical tentacles in all directions. The
tentacles reach the surface and lift the Voot Runner into the air. A platform
forms under the Voot Runner as dirt falls to the ground. A metal hub pops out of
the ground and two poles shoot out on either side of the hub. The hub opens up
and light pours out. A compact pink couch pops out of the hub and flies into the
air. The couch unfolds and hits the ground. Four poles stand from the ground.
The poles shoot tentacles that interlock to form a box. The tentacles that
lifted the Voot Runner in the air form a wire frame of the interior of the
house. The four poles shoot out beams of light that fill in the gaps between the
poles. The beams of light then become solid walls complete with windows, a door,
and other accessories. Two panels come out of the top of the house which close
over the Voot Runner and interlock to form the roof. A large hub forms on the
right side of the roof. Out of this hub, a mechanical arm forms. The arm becomes
a satellite. A few large tentacles shoot out of the left and the right of the
house and latch on to the houses on both sides. They grip tightly and bore into
the walls of the neighboring homes. In one house, a man sits in an armchair
drinking a beer and watching television. The hole where the big tentacle
penetrated from the other side is visible. Out of the hole, many smaller
tentacles swarm into the house. The man watches as one of the tentacles attaches
to his light fixture and drains it of energy. Below Zim's house, a lab full
Irken computers and technology forms. Back at the surface, lights on Zim's house
flicker on as wooden fences sprout around the house. 4 lawn gnomes, 2 puffer
fish, and 1 flamingo sprout in Zim's lawn. The lights in other houses in the
neighborhood turn on as they wake up from the disturbance. Car alarms are turned
off. Some of Zim's new neighbors look outside to see what is going on. Zim grabs
GIR by the leash and drags him along towards the house while whistling and
acting as if nothing happened. GIR gets up and starts skipping ahead of Zim as
they walk past a sign in Zim's lawn that says, "I love Earth." When they get to
the door, it flies open and the parent decoys greet them.
Parent Decoys: Welcome home, son!
The
door closes behind them and Zim relaxes once the coast is clear.
Zim: Wooooo! Step 1
went smoothly!
They
walk across the living room where a picture of a green monkey hangs. They walk
into the kitchen over to the trashcan. GIR steps on the pedal that opens it and
Zim climbs inside. An elevator takes him down to the underground portion of the
house. Unlike the above levels of the house which look human, the underground
lab is purely Irken.
Zim: The Tallest were
wise to choose me. This planet won't know what hit it after I've learned its
weaknesses. Oh, these lenses are all scratchy!
The
elevator drops him into a chair facing a computer. Zim proceeds to type with the
keyboard.
Zim: Now, to find the
best possible way of learning about this sad, filthy little planet. The more we
know, the sooner we can conquer this spinning ball of... filthy, er-er-er,
dirt!
Zim's
computer displays an image of the 'Skool' building which Zim will be attending.
Cut to the classroom, presumably some time later. Ms. Bitters stands at the
front and Zim stands next to her.
Ms. Bitters: Class, I
would like to introduce the newest, hopeless appendage to the student body. His
name is... Zim. Zim, if you have something to say, say it now, because after
this moment, I don't wanna hear another sound from you!
Zim: Hello, friends.
I am a perfectly normal human worm baby.
As
Zim talks, his classmates look bored and uninterested except for Dib who points
and stares with his mouth agape. Sara picks her nose.
Zim: You have
nothing, absolutely nothing to fear from me. Just pay no attention to me and
we'll get along just fine.
Ms. Bitters: Take
your seat now, Zim.
Zim
walks with his arms outstretched to an empty desk in the front row.
Ms. Bitters: Today's
lecture is about outer space... and how it will eventually implode in on
itself!
Zim
stands on his desk with both arms up.
Ms. Bitters: Yes,
Zim?
Zim: In the event of,
say, a full scale alien invasion, how prepared do you think this planet's
defenses would be? Tell me!
Ms. Bitters: As I was
saying, the universe is just doomed. Doom, doom, doooooom!
A bug
crawls across her face. Ms. Bitters continues to say 'doom' over and
over.
Dib: Okay, am I the
only one here who sees the alien sitting in class?
The
students look around for an alien.
Dib: There!
Dib
points at Zim. The camera pans towards Zim but returns to Dib.
Dib: Right
there!
The
camera pans towards Zim again but this time stays on him. Zim sweats.
Dib: That is no kid!
He's an alien! An alien! One of the monsters I've been talking about! He's here
to conquer Earth!
Zim
nervously moves his finger towards a self destruct button on his sleeve. Zita
leans on Zim's chair.
Zita: Aw, not this
again. You're crazy!
Zim
relaxes and the self destruct button disappears.
Dib: What about his
horrible green head!?!
Zim: Insolent fool
boy! It's a skin condition.
Dib: And he's got no
ears! Is that part of your skin condition, Zim? No ears?
Dib
gets in Aki's face, pointing to his own ears. Zim looks embarrassed.
Zim: Yes.
The
students look angrily at Dib.
Tae: Man, Dib. You
think that just 'cause someone looks different, you can call them an
alien?
Brian: I guess Old
Kid's an alien too, huh?
Old Kid: How's it
goin'?
Dib: Okay, see this
is us-
Dib
uses a pointer to point to a sketch on the chalkboard of a man labeled 'Normal
Human Being.'
Dib: -Now over here,
over here is Zim.
Dib
uses a pointer to point to a sketch of an Irken labeled 'Zim.'
Dib: See the
difference? Anyone? Anyone? Questions?
The Letter M: Yeah,
what's wrong with you? All you talk about is aliens and ghosts and seeing
bigfoot in your garage!
Dib: He was using the
belt sander...
Zim: Yeah, he's
always saying stuff. I remember that one time when-
Dib: Hey! You just
got here! Don't let him trick you! I know what I'm talking about, and there it
is... sitting right there!
Student Voice: Well,
he does look... pretty weird.
The
word 'Weird' passes by Zim.
Another student voice: Yeah! And he is sitting!
The
word 'Sitting' passes by Zim.
Dib: Ya see? Actual
proof that all the things I've been saying are actually right! Finally, a way to
prove that I'm, that I'm...
Zim (imitating Dib):
...That I'm crazy!
Zita: Okay, now that
makes sense!
Student: Man, we
almost believed him!
Black
bars appear above and bellow Dib and Zim's faces making it appear wide-screen
format as the two stare at each other.
Ms. Bitters: Doom,
doom, doom. Go home now!
The
bell rings and students rush out of the Skool. Some students climb out of the
windows to escape. Zim pauses in front of the Skool then proceeds to slowly walk
down the steps. The doors open behind him and Dib appears.
Dib: Zim. Maybe your
cruddy little disguise worked on everyone else, but I'll get them to see the
truth.
Zim: No one will
believe you.
Dib: They'll believe
if I bring you to them without your disguise!
Dib
slides down the side railings of the steps and lands in front of Zim. He pulls
out a pair of advanced handcuffs.
Dib: I ordered this
from one of my U.F.O. zines.
Dib
opens the handcuffs.
Zim: Oh, its pretty.
What is it?
Dib: Alien sleep
cuffs, guaranteed to render all alien life forms unconscious.
Zim: How do you know
it works if you never found an alien before?
Dib: I'm gonna find
out right now!
Dib
yells as he leaps at Zim. Zim jumps just in time and lands on top of Dib. Zim
runs as Dib chases. They both run into the same girl, knocking her
over.
Zim: Leave me alone!
I just wanna go home and be all normal!
Zim
jumps through an open window of an open car door and then out into the street.
Zim knocks into the crossing guard. The crossing guard spins around and
accidentally hits Dib with his stop sign. Zim smiles and runs into an alleyway.
Zim jumps on a tire and grabs a pair of pants hanging on a clothesline. He
slides down the clothesline, knocking off all the other clothes. Dib appears at
the other end of the alleyway in front of Zim. Zim lets go of the pants and hits
a box of oranges, knocking Dib over. Zim goes into the street and is almost hit
by a car. The car stops and honks at Zim, but Zim climbs to the top of the car.
He hops from car to car w\as Dib follows bellow on the side walk. Zim climbs to
the top of a fake ice cream cone on top of an ice cream truck. Out of the
speakers of the ice cream truck is a strange hypnotizing Arnold Swartzenagger
type voice.
Ice Cream Truck: You
like ice cream. You like ice cream. You love it. You cannot resist ice cream. To
resist is hopeless. Your existence is meaningless without ice cream.
Dib
laughs maniacally. A skool bus stops beside the ice cream truck to drop off
students. Zim jumps from the ice cream truck to the skool bus. Dib also climbs
the skool bus. Zim backs up as Dib approaches him. Zim almost falls off the bus
from backing up too far. He hangs half way off the bus.
Dib: They might even
name your autopsy video after me!
The
bus starts moving again and Zim looses his grip. He flies through the air and
lands on top of a metal fence while making a painful noise.
Zim: Ha! See ya, Dib!
Pitiful human!
Suddenly, a dog jumps out of the bushes behind the fence and bites down
on Zim' head, pulling him down. One of Zim's boots flies through the air and
lands on the fence. The skool bus passes by and Dib jumps off onto the fence,
kicking Zim's boot off the fence. He looks into the bushes for Zim, but he
doesn't notice that Zim is crawling out of the bushes down bellow. He is in
pain. He puts his boot back on. Zim looks up and sees that Dib is still on the
top of the fence looking for Zim in the bushes. Zim pushes Dib into the bushes
so that the dog will attack him. Zim stands on the fence as a personal
communicator attached to a robotic arm unfolds from his Pak. Zim contacts GIR on
the communicator.
Zim: GIR! Help me!
There isn't much time!
GIR: Yes, sir!
Almost instantly, the disguised GIR arrives using his jetpack. Zim hops
down from the fence.
Zim: Get me out of
here now, GIR! Now!
GIR: Okey
dokey!
GIR
flies underneath Zim and forces him into the air. Zim grips GIR by the ears as
they fly off.
Zim: Hey, wait a
minute, what the-? Ahhhhhh!
Dib
crawls out of the bushes looking disheveled. He brightens up as he realizes he
can follow the smoke trail GIR's jetpack has created. Zim screams as he and GIR
rocket towards the house. They smack into the door and fall to the ground. They
slowly get up. Zim looks badly beaten and has a twig in his wig.
Zim: Good work,
GIR...
GIR makes a triumphant noise like the one made by Blue in
Blue's
Clues.
Dib: There you
are.
Dib
emerges from the smoke trail.
Zim: Quick! Get in
the house GIR! Hurry!
The
door opens and the Parent Decoys greet them.
Parent Decoys: Welcome home, son!
The
door shuts behind them and Dib runs up and pounds on it.
Dib: Your little
tricks won't fool me, Zim! I know where you live now!
Dib
sticks his head up against the window.
GIR: Oh, your
friend's at the window!
Dib: You can't hide
forever! And if you can, then I'll wait forever!
Lasers pop out of the pupils of one of the lawn gnomes. The aiming system
zooms in n Dib's sleep cuffs.
Dib: I've been
preparing for this all my life!
A
laser bolt from the lawn gnome obliterates the cuffs.
Dib: Okay... I'm
going to go home now and prepare some more!
GIR
takes off his disguise gleefully.
Dib: But I'll be
back, and from here to the ends of the Earth, Zim-
Dib
continues to talk as Zim pulls the twig out of his wig.
Zim: I feel good
about how today went.
Dib: ...to the depths
of the oceans!
Cut
to the Massive, the Almighty Tallest's ship.
Irken: Incoming
transmissions from... Earth.
A
large view screen displays the word 'Earth.' Red sips on a soda.
Purple: What is...
Earth?
The
large view screen displays Zim (out of disguise). As he talks, GIR, who is also
out of disguise, peeps his head in from the top.
Zim: Invader Zim
reporting, sirs. The mission goes well.
Red
drops his soda and Purple stares with his mouth agape.
Zim: But surely you
expected that from me.
Red
spits.
Red: Zim... You're
alive!?
Zim: Yes. So very
alive.
GIR: Hello!
Zim: And full of goo.
Mission goo! Don't be surprised if I take care of the humans before the armada
even gets here. Well, I've much work to do, so Invader Zim signing off.
GIR
falls from the top and hits Zim.
Zim: Er, my
spine!
The
transmission fades. Red and Purple glance at each other in disbelief. The
episode ends as the screen goes into static, then darkness.
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