The following is not a novelization or an actual script but a dry transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, settings descriptions, action scenes and/or camera movements where the transcriber felt they were necessary. This transcript is posted on "TWIZ TV.COM" in world wide web exclusivity by courtesy of ANGELA PATERSON.
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TRANSCRIPT:
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Announcer- Attention all personnel, the winner of this months lottery, Sgt Arthur T William, will receive a high colonic worth nine dollars. Congratulations sergeant, and dont spend it all in one place

(Burns' new office. Burns and Houlihan enter. Burns sits down behind his desk while Houlihan remains standing)

Burns- And that's another thing im going to change around here. No more gambling

Houlihan- Frank it does give the men something to look forward to every month

Burns- Margaret, you're beginning to sound like Blake. Soft

Houlihan- Nonsense I want this place to be as GI as you do

Burns- (Runs his fingers over the desk as if checking for dust) What a slob that man was, may he rest in peace (Picks up a piece of paper from the desk) Another of my new regulations (He reads) Under no circumstances will enlisted men use the officers latrine (Looks up) They've been sneaking in at night you know

Houlihan- How can you tell?

Burns- One knows where ones own kind has been

Houlihan- (Picks up the name plate of Burns desk which reads "Major Frank Burns, Commanding officer". She walks around the desk and sits on it in front of Burns) Frank Burns, Commanding Officer

Burns- A boyhood dream come true, my own command, you at my side, an incoming box, an outgoing box, war. God help me I love it. I better get this new regulation posted. (Shouting) Corporal. Corporal O'Reilly

Houlihan- He left the minute the mail came in

Burns- I ordered him to bring me the mail first (Gets up from his desk and goes to the door) Little sneak

Houlihan- No respect

Burns- I'll teach those dirty little enlisted rats to love me

(The scene changes to the swamp where Hawkeye and BJ are putting up a bar where Burns bunk used to be)

BJ - Done, nice little bar
 
Hawkeye - And right in our own neighbourhood
 
BJ - What do we call it
 
Hawkeye - It's in the corner, lets call it the corner bar (They fix lights to the front of the bar) I got it, I got it. Franks bed now doing business as Joes bar and Grill. If my wife calls i'm not here. Henry would have loved this
 
BJ - Fair man with the bottle you say
 
Hawkeye - Henry, he could have been a comparison drinker. The man was born with a spare tank. (Pause) I really miss him
 
BJ - How about the Henry Blake Memorial Bar
 
Hawkeye - I'll buy that. Lets break it in (Walks over to the still) I'll throw out the first drunk. With any luck it'll be me
 
(Radar enters looking panicked)

Radar - Sirs
 
BJ - Yes young man how many in your party
 
Radar - Huh
 
Hawkeye - As you can see we're jammed but if you leave us your name we'll have you paged here at the bar
 
BJ - The couple at table twenty seven are leaving
 
Hawkeye - Bus boy set up table twenty seven for the young man in the green tuxedo. We usually hold it for Caeser Romero but he sprained his moustache
 
Radar - Sirs with your permission will you stop horsing around please
 
BJ - You hate the table
 
Radar - The tables fine really
 
BJ - Can I fix you a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers
 
Hawkeye - Is it true about those two?
 
Radar - Come would yah. (He puts his finger to his lips) Shh (He looks around to check no one can over here them and whispers) We're getting a new commanding officer
 
Hawkeye - Frank's out
 
Radar - Shhh
 
BJ - Great
 
Hawkeye - Great, I've been sticking pins in my Frank Burns doll for a year (He reads the letter Radar gave him) Colonel Sherman Potter, surgeon, Medical USA!
 
BJ - Reguar army
 
Radar - Career man
 
BJ - Trouble?
 
Hawkeye - An army doctor. He'll have people bleeding by the numbers. He's got to be a loser otherwise why else would they dump him in a M*A*S*H*. A career man, that's even worse than Frank who's neither one nor the other. (To Radar) How'd he take it?
 
Radar- Are you kidding my palms are sweating off, i'm afraid to tell him
 
BJ - You better show him the orders Radar
 
Radar - He'll hit me
 
BJ - Come on
 
Radar - No he's been murder on me. Making me shave, he makes me bathe
 
Hawkeye - The man has no respect for crud. Lets go with him BJ
 
BJ - A pleasure
 
Radar - Would you really, that's terrific
 
Hawkeye - (As he's walking out the door) Hold table twenty seven
 
(The scene changes to the mess tent where Burns is getting his lunch. He is at the counter and the cook is serving lunch)

Burns - No, no, no sergeant. From now on you will no longer slop food onto these trays. Look at this random arrangement Major
 
Houlihan -I'm looking
 
Burns - The kidney beans have slopped over from the kidney bean compartment to the apple sauce compartment, the dehydrated potatoes are into every compartment
 
Houlihan - It's no wonder I never have an appetite
 
Burns - Sergeant I want standardisation of compartment usage. When I look down a table at a row of trays I want to see beans, beans, beans, beans, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, apple sauce, apple sauce, apple sauce. you got that
 
Cook - Yes
 
Burns - Yes what
 
Cook - Yes sir
 
Burns - Yes sir what?
 
Cook - Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
 
(Radar enters with the mail backed up by BJ and Hawkeye. Burns sees him and walks over)

Burns - Well, where's the mail it got here ten minutes ago
 
Radar - Erm, i've got it sir
 
Burns- Well is there anything for me?
 
Radar - Nothing from Mrs Burns sir
 
Burns - I don't care what I didn't get
 
Radar - No sir
 
Burns - What did I get?
 
Radar - Here's a card from your veterinarian
 
Hawkeye - Time for your rabies shot
 
Burns - Wisecrack. Shouldn't you be eating or something
 
BJ - We just had a cupcake on the train
 
Burns - I warned you Hunnicut, don't let this man corrupt you
 
BJ - I'm doing my very best sir
 
Burns - What else is there Corporal

Radar - Your gas station back home is having a free buffett to open their new louvre rack. They're going to be having punch and ballons and Greasy the Clown
 
Burns - (Goes to grab the last letter from Radar) What's this? It looks official
 
Radar - (Holds on to the letter tightly) Oh you're being replaced sir
 
Houlihan - (Shocked) What?
 
(Burns takes the letter from Radar and he and Houlihan read it)

Hawkeye - Smelling salts for two doctor
 
Houlihan - This is outrageous, it's completely unfair
 
Burns - (Putting on a brave face) Oh now Major this is not an unusual occurence at all. I mean this is the way the military is run, after all we are all mearly cogs in the giant military medical machine. Each cog occassionally has to lose a tooth on the gear of life. Well if you'll all excuse me I best preapare for the change of command
 
(Burns and Houlihan leave the mess tent and walk across the compound)

Houlihan - Frank you took that really well. I'm very proud of you
 
Burns- Kay se ra, se ra
 
Houlihan - It was a blow below the belt
 
Burns- We've both had our share of those
 
(They enter Houlihans tent, Frank sits down on the bed and begins to throw a temper tantrum, stamping his feet and banging his fists)

Burns - No, no, no its not fair, it's my mash, it's mine
 
Houlihan - I know darling, there there
 
Burns - I already wrote mummy
 
Houlihan - Your mother will understand
 
Burns - i mean my wife
 
Houlihan - (Angry) Buzz off
 
Burns - You'll all be sorry when I'm gone, you'll see. (He holds his breath)

(The scene changes to the Swamp where Hawkeye and BJ are taking down the bar

Hawkeye - Sorry Henry
 
BJ - Another national monument destroyed
 
(Radar and Klinger enter, carrying Burns cot

Klinger - Come on it's hot it's burning my arm shields
 
Radar - Major Burns bed back sirs. Ah gee, shame about the bar, I was only there once but I really loved it
 
(Burns enters carrying a box)

Burns - Alrighty move it mister. Corporal O'Reilly take your moving party and get the rest of my things from the CO's office
 
Radar - Yes sir
 
Burns - (Grabs Klingers arm) Another week of command and I would have had you out of that dress
 
Klinger - I'm not that easy
 
(Radar and Klinger both leave)

Hawkeye - Welcome home Frank. We kept your lice right where you left them (Walks over to Frank and looks inside the box that he brought in with him) What's this?
 
Burns - My personal papers during my tenier as commanding officer. When this war is history i'll donate them to my college library. They'll not only benefit humanity but they're tax deductable (Hawkeye takes a file out of the box) Now that's classified
 
Hawkeye - (Reads from the file) From Frank Burns Commanding Officer to Sgt Zale supply, an order to glue a cracked bedpan. History Frank. Benefit humanity Frank
 
(Burns snatches the file back from Hawkeye while BJ has gotten another file out of the box)

BJ - To the mess sergeant, hereafter you will drain the oil from the tuna fish
 
Hawkeye - Every thousand miles
 
Burns - Fine thanks I get. I took a shoddy slip shot organisation and turned it into a smooth running model of efficiency and I'm tossed aside (Kicks the wreckage from the bar) What are you going to do with all this junk?
 
Hawkeye - Donate it to my college
 
(The scene changes to outside in the compound where Radar is sunbathing topless. He is using some shiny cardboard to help him tan., A jeep pulls up with a Colonel driving. He bibs his horn and Radar who has his eyes closed ignores it. The Colonel jumps out of the jeep and beeps the horn one last time)

Radar - Stick your horn in your ear
 
Potter - On your feet soldier, I'm Colonel Potter
 
Radar - (Jump up, panicked, and salutes) I'm sorry sir I had no idea who you were Colonel Potter sir
 
Potter - Get my gear son
 
Radar - Yes sir. Your permission to cover up my nakedidity
 
Potter - Right. You got a name
 
Radar - (Putting his shirt back on) Yes sir, Corporal O'Reilly, company clerk. I'm sorry about this sir
 
Potter - (Gesturing his things in the jeep) That saddle goes in my office, that box my office, the rest in my tent
 
Radar - (Picking up the saddle) Yes sir
 
Potter - What were you doing with that shiny cardboard
 
Radar - Getting a tan sir
 
Potter - (Looks up at the sky) That sun'll rip the hide right off of yah
 
(Potter walks into his new office, followed by Radar)

Radar - You expecting a horse later sir
 
Potter - Wish I were. I've had this saddle since my cavalry days in the great war

Radar - World War I sir
 
Potter - 15 years old, lied about my age. Had big thighs for a boy. I want that filing cabinet over there (Points to the filing cabinet) Over there (Points to the other side of the room)

Radar - Sir, Colonel Blake tried it over there but he found it worked better over there. I think you'll find it works better for you too sir over there sir
 
Potter - Blakes gone sir, i'll have it over there
 
Radar - (In unison) You'll have it over there (He goes to move the filing cabinet)

Potter - Get some help. I dont want a ruptured company clerk
 
Radar - Yes sir I'll do the best I can sir (He leaves the office and goes to the outer office where Klinger is once again dresses in a dress) Klinger no!
 
Klinger - I saw him come in and this is my chance
 
Radar - He's got a saddle
 
Klinger - I dont care
 
Radar - He's reagular army
 
Klinger - And i'm regular crazy (Pushes Radar out of the way and composes himself. He enters Potters office and salutes) Colonel Potter sir, Corporal Klinger. I'm section eight head to toe I'm wearing a warner bra, I play with dolls, my last wish to be buried in my mothers wedding gown. Im nuts, I should be out
 
Potter - Horse hockey. I've seen these dodges for forty years, all the tricks. I knew one private said he was a mare, carried a colt in his arms for weeks. Another fella said he was a daisy, insisted we water him every morning. No no corporal, it aint gonna go with me. Now you get out of that fru fru and into a uniform and you stay in uniform. Dismissed.
 
Klinger - (To Radar who has just walked through the door with a box) Radar i'm finished, I gotta burn my bloomers (He leaves)

Radar - I see him around sometimes
 
Potter - Right her will be fine (He puts the box down on the desk) I wanna see my officers. Why Radar?
 
Radar - Oh well, er sometimes I can tell what's gonna happen before it happens
 
Potter - Is that so
 
Radar - Yes sir (Potter walks towards the door) The officers latrine is to the right sir
 
Potter - Thankyou

Radar - You're welcome
 
(Potter looks back at Radar with a slightly confused look)

(The scene changes to the outer office where Radar is about to use the PA system. He turns it on and it whistles)

Radar - Sorry camp.Attention by command of the new commanding officer all officers report to the new commanding officer, officers
 
(The scene changes back to Potters office where Potter is joined by Mulcahy, Hawkeye, BJ and Houlihan. He is looking through the personnel files)

Potter - Father Mulcahy (Mulcahy waves his dog tags at Potter) Oh yes of course, uh huh, hmhm. You're clean
 
Mulcahy - Thank God sir
 
Potter - Catholic
 
Mulcahy - Yes sir
 
Potter - Can you do a methodist thing for me on sunday
 
Mulcahy - I handle all denominations Colonel
 
Potter - Any other methodists in the outfit
 
Mulcahy - Two or three

Potter - Good I hate to sing alone (Reads the next file) Major Houlihan
 
Houlihan - (Standing to attention) Sir
 
Potter - Head nurse
 
Houlihan - Yes sir
 
Potter - Ten years, spotless record
 
Houlihan - Thankyou sir
 
Potter - (Reading the next file) Major Frank Burns
 
Houlihan - Just friends sir (Hawkeye smirks at her) I mean he's not here sir, he's indisposed
 
Potter - (Reading the next file) Captain Pierce
 
Hawkeye - Yo
 
Potter - Keep your yos to yourself (He simply tuts at Hawkeyes record and moves on to BJ) Captain Hunnicut
 
BJ - Yes sir
 
Potter - You two were reprimanded by Major Burns for setting fire to the latrine
 
Hawkeye - That was an accident
 
BJ - We were having a weenie roast
 
Potter - In the latrine
 
BJ - We're not allowed to cook in our tents, sir
 
Potter - Also Pierce it says here you had a live chicken flown here by helicopter claiming it was a patient
 
Hawkeye - That was a rare bird Colonel it could tap dance
 
Potter - And a year ago the Tokyo Provo Marshall claims you stole a steam shovel

Hawkeye - I couldn't get a cab
 
Potter - I gather you drink
 
Hawkeye - Only to excess
 
Potter - (Stands up) Colourful officers I must say, well that is one thing I do not need. i would greatly appreciate it if for the next eighteen months you'd keep your noses clean. Dismissed. (Houlihan, Mulcahy and BJ stand to attention and salute. Hawkeye seeing them does his own half hearted salute, they all leave and go to the outer office)

BJ - Terrific of Frank to put all that stuff on our service records
 
Hawkeye - Just where is no lips?
 
Houlihan - He left. He was so upset when he didn't get the command he just took off
 
(Hawkeye and BJ are in hysterics)

Hawkeye - Franks run away from home
 
Houlihan - Shh not a word
 
Hawkeye - Oh ok
 
BJ - My lips are sealed
 
Hawkeye - I wont say anything, honest. (He grabs the PA microphone, Attention all personnel, you wont believe this camp, hello camp are you there?
 
(The scene changes to the swamp where BJ and Hawkeye are fixing the still with some tape

BJ - You think Potter will  object to the still
 
Hawkeye - I don't know, if he makes me get rid of it i'm going to get into one of Klingers dresses
 
BJ - Not while he's wearing it I hope
 
Hawkeye - We'll see
 

(Klinger enters wearing a uniform and walking very stiffly)
 
Hawkeye - Ah speaking of Mrs Devil
 
BJ - Whats the matter Klinger
 
Klinger - Ooh
 
BJ - Whats with the arms and legs
 
Klinger - Look wherever my uniform covers me I get a rash
 
BJ - You ever been allergic to cotton,
 
Klinger - No
 
BJ - Wools, Synthetics
 
Klinger - no sir
 
Hawkeye - Now for the two dollar question. Have you been over to Rosies bar to visit a business girl
 
Klinger - No they dont like me, they're jealous of my clothes
 
BJ - Any of your freckles been moving from one spot to another
 
Klinger - Oh no, if you're referring to tiny live stock sir, I'm very careful about that
 
BJ - Rash ends where the uniform ends
 
Hawkeye - Psychosematic
 
BJ - Elimentary
 
Klinger - Started the minute I got out of my civvies
 
Hawkeye - That's it
 
BJ - Your ladies clothes are your defence against the system
 
Klinger - What do I do?
 
Hawkeye - Simple, take two asprin and wear your best slip next to your skin
 
Klinger - Is that an order sir?
 
Hawkeye - Why not
 
Klinger - Thankyou sir (He goes to salute but only gets half way. He yelps in pain)

(The scene changes to Potters office where Radar has been busy covering the wall behind Potters desk with pictures of horses)

Potter - Straighten Lily Bell she's crooked (Radar goes to straighten one of the pictures) That's Royal Keane. Cant you tell a mare from a stallion
 
Radar - Sorry sir, i'm good at hamsters
 
Potter - All they ever do is eat lettuce and make jeely beans
 
Radar - (Picks up a picture) What do you want me to do with ladies picture sir? Up here (He gestures the wall)

Potter - No, thats Mrs Potter. She always goes on the right side of my desk
 
Radar - Nice lady sir
 
Potter - Five sisters and not a bum in the lot
 
Radar -Oh (Puts the picture on the desk) Right on the right side
 
Potter - Good I never start a day without throwing Mrs Potter a salute or in lue thereof Mrs Potters picture (They both salute the picture) Thankyou
 
Radar - You're welcome (Radar picks up a plaque)

Potter - Good conduct medal with a clasp, only enlisted men can get one. MacArthur hasn't got one, Bradlet neither
 
Radar- Sure is nice to know that you were once as common as I am sir (Radar stops talking and looks up)

Potter - What is it?
 
Radar - Choppers sir
 
Potter - I don't hear anything

(A few seconds later choppers can be heard over head. Radar runs from the office, shouting)

Radar - Choppers
 
(Leaving Potter looking a little bemused)

(The scene changes to the heli pad while an announcement is made)

Announcer - Attention all personnel, incoming wounded, both shifts to the OR, incoming wounded
 

(The scene changes again to the scrub room, where Hawkeye, BJ, Houlihan and Potter are scrubbing for surgery)

Potter - Lets go, lets go people (He goes through to the OR)

Houlihan - Coming sir
 
Hawkeye - (To Radar) What did you find out.
 
Radar - He's mostly administration. He hasn't been in an operating room for two years
 
Hawkeye - Margaret. If this guys a clutz, if he gets into any kind of trouble give me a nudge, or BJ
 
Houlihan - Right (To Radar) Corporal, is it dark outside yet
 
Hawkeye - Who cares?
 
Houlihan - Major Burns. He might be cold, or hurt or lost
 
BJ - (Laughs) Major he's throwing a temper tantrum
 
Hawkeye - He'll come home when he's ready mummy
 
(Houlihan throws him a dirty look and leaves)

Hawkeye - You ready?
 
BJ - I hope so
 
Hawkeye - This way to the body and fender shop
 
(They walk through to the OR)

(Later in the OR, Potter, Hawkeye and BJ are all busy operating)

Hawkeye - (Having just finished one operation) Done,  get him into post op and start him on six hundred thousand units of penicillin VID. Next! (To BJ on the next table) How you doing?
 
BJ -You dont see too many bellies like this back home
 
Hawkeye - Comes from eating too many bullets
 
(Houlihan who has been watching Colonel Potter walks over to Hawkeye)

Hawkeye- How's he doing?
 
Houlihan - So far fine, simple operation
 
Hawkeye - Keep your eye on him
 
(She walks over to Colonel Potter again who is now at BJ's table having finished with his own patient)

Potter - (To BJ) May I?
 
BJ - Sure Colonel
 
Potter - I'd resect that area of small intestine it may be aschemic
 
BJ - I was planning to do that Colonel just as soon as I get this bleeding stopped
 
Potter - Ah hah
 
BJ - Clamp
 
(Klinger brings in Hawkeyes next patient)

Hawkeye - How's the rash Klinger
 
Klinger - Upstairs terrible, downstairs okay
 
Hawkeye - How come
 
Klinger - I'm wearing a half slip
 
(Back to BJ who is being watched by Colonel Potter and Father Mulcahy)

BJ - Clamp (Nurse hands him a clamp) I've got a bad bleeder here
 
Mulcahy - Oh my Lord
 
BJ - Retract that a little bit more. Get some suction in there, suction. Give me that, can you move that bowel out of the way (Beginning to panic, to Hawkeye) I need some help here
 
Potter - Pack it off, now keep the pressure on it, you're not gonna lose him. You're doing just fine son. Little more suction nurse
 
BJ - Thankyou doctor
 
Potter - Yeah that's coming along
 
(Later in the scrub room, Hawkeye Potter and BJ have just come out of surgery)

BJ - Colonel you did a nice job with that kid in there
 
Potter - You handled the rough part, felt pretty shakey going in I got to tell yah, sitting behind a desk for two years I thought I might have lost my touch, but I guess surgery is like riding a bicycle. Once you learn you never forget. Nice to know there's a little pezzaz left in the old digits
 
Hawkeye - (Yawns) What time is it?
 
BJ - 3.30 AM
 
Potter - I could use a belt
 
Hawkeye - Colonel, Captain Hunnicut and I know just the place. Chequered table cloths, candlelight
 
Potter - Out here? Pizza?
 
Hawkeye - No but you can chew on a rubber glove
 
Potter - (Winces with pain and rubs the back of his neck) Talk about your backs (Grabs him from behind and clicks his back) Oh dandy
 
Hawkeye - Learned that from an old Arab. He liked flat camels
 
(The scene changes to the compound where laughter can be heard coming from the swamp. Burns is seen lurking, dragging his duffle bag. He goes to Houlihans door and whispers)

Burns - Margaret, Margaret, Margaret its me Frank
 
Houlihan - (Jumps out of bed) Frank, oh Frank, my darling (Opens the door and lets him) Are you alright? Where have you been? What happened to you i've been worried sick
 
Burns - (Covered in mud) It was awful out there, all dark. I was hungry. A dog chased me and bit my duffle bag
 
Houlihan - Oh my poor darling. What happened to your clothes?
 
Burns - I fell down

Houlihan - There there (She sits him down on the bed)

Burns - Its so good to be home. Did anybody miss me?
 
Houlihan - I did sugar
 
Burns - What about the Colonel, and Pierce and Hunnicut? Did they even care? Were they upset?
 
Houlihan - Of course they were
 
Burns - Margaret I know this isnt the time to ask
 
Houlihan - Ask darling
 

]Burns- But after stumbling around in the dark and here you are all warm and loving
 
Houlihan - Ask Frank ask
 
Burns - Have you got any cookies?
 
(The scene changes to the swamp where Hawkeye, Potter and BJ have been drinking. They are all singing)

Hawkeye, Potter and BJ - (Singing) Theres a long long night of waiting, till my dreams all come true, till the day when I'll be going , down that long long trail with you.
 
Potter - To Blackjack Persian (They toast)

Hawkeye - Inventor of 21. (Toasting) To Montgomery Ward
 
BJ - And his orchestra
 
Potter - To Harry Truman
 
BJ - To Bess Truman. To Margaret Truman
 
Hawkeye - To Aris Truman
 
Potter - (Downing his martini) That's not bad, but if you guys pack more heat, wrap a little tin foil around the top you'll get a better yield
 
Hawkeye - And you'll land in jail
 
BJ - (Toasting) And his orchestra
 
Potter - I had a still in Guame in World War II. One night it blew up (Whispers) That's how I got my purple Heart (Hawkeye laughs) Shh, keep it under your hat
 
Hawkeye - Consider it under Colonel
 
Potter - My friends call me stud. (Toasts) To myrtle Lloyd

BJ - Here, here
 
Hawkeye - Speaking of Myrtle Lloyd, I'd like to talk to you about Corporal Klinger
 
Potter - And his all girl orchestra
 
Hawkeye - here, here
 
Potter, Hawkeye and BJ - (Singing once again) There's a long, long trail a winding, into the land of my dreams, where the nightingales are singing and a white moon beams. Theres a long, long night of waiting until my dreams all come true, till the day when ill be coming round that long long trail with you
 
(The scene changes to Potters office where he's showing BJ and Hawkeye the pictures of horses on his wall)

Potter - This is Opals pride, a fillie, bought her back in 47
 
Hawkeye- From the hub caps she looks like a 46
 
Potter - (Points to another picture) This is simply be, Opals pride's sister. Look at that rump
 
Hawkeye - Oh you can tell they're sisters
 
Potter - You got an eye for horse flesh Hawkeye

BJ - He's just good at rumps
 
(Radar enters)

Radar - Colonel sir. Major Frank Burns
 
(Burns enters to clapping from Hawkeye and BJ. He stands at attention and salutes)

Burns - Reporting for duty sir
 
Potter - (Spotting a bruise on Burns forehead) Nasty bruise Major
 
Burns - Pain is no stranger to me sir
 
Hawkeye - Hes had athletes foot all his life
 
Burns - The Colonel can count on me as his second in command to maintain peak military efficiency which I established
 
Potter - I appreciate that Major
 
(Klinger enters. Once again back in a dress. He's carrying a horses bridle)

Klinger - Colonel Potter sir. I found your bridle
 
Potter - Good
 
Klinger - It was in with the trusses
 
Potter - Thankyou son (Klinger salutes and turns to leave) Klinger (He turns around)
 
Klinger - Thankyou sir. It's from the Shirley Temple collection

(Burns stands speechless while, Hawkeye and BJ just smile at him)

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Transcribed by ANGELA PATERSON for http://www.twiztv.com
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