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TRANSCRIPT:
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Previously On Laguna Beach…

LC: (V.O.) (Shows pre-prom party) I thought prom was gonna be another scene, but everybody got along. (Shows them in the limo) The only real bummer of the night was when we realized this would be our last prom.

Lo: Guys, this is sad.

LC: (V.O.) (Shows the blink concert) But this year’s not over yet. (Shows the bonfire)There’s still our last senior trip.

Kristin: (Her and Alex are talking) So are you excited for Catalina?

Alex: Mm-hmm.

Kristin: I can not wait.

LC: (V.O.) (Shows Stephen and Kristin in the limo) But no matter how much hanging out with Kristin and Stephen drives me crazy, (Shows LC and Lo) sometimes you gotta rough it.

Lo: I’m so freaking mad I’m not going to Catalina.

LC: So what did your dad say to you? Just “no”?

Lo: Well I called him at work and I was like “Daddy?” And he was like “Yes?” And he was like “Well are there…any parents gonna go?” “Well…no”. And he’s like “Who’s going?” And I told him. And he was like “Oh, so boys are gonna spend the night too?” And I was like “Yeah…”

LC: Just Dieter, Trey, and Stephen.

Lo: I know, but he was just like “You know what Lo?” Like, “I don’t really feel comfortable with you going if there’s gonna be no parents there”. And I argued with him. And it didn’t work.

LC: I can’t believe you’re not coming. You were like my supporter. I was like “Lo can’t camp as much as I can’t camp”.

Lo: I know, we were gonna be the lame campers together. Be like “Aah! A bug! Get it out!” (They laugh)

Opening Credits

CUT TO: Restaurant

Kristin: So are you excited for Catalina?

Alex: Mm-hmm.

Kristin: I can not wait.

Alex: I’m really excited.

Kristin: I’m excited to go camping. So who’s going?

Alex: Stephen.

Kristin: Trey, Dieter and Jessica are going. Lauren and Morgan.

Alex: Not Christina?

Kristin: She can’t go.

Alex: Why?

Kristin: She has this thing at the Crystal Cathedral. Do you know anything about her dad’s church?

Alex: No I just know that like she’s the reverend’s daughter. It’s something on TV.

Kristin: Yeah. But they have a picture with, um, what president was it? I was some president went to it or something. Maybe it was Arnold Scrawzenagar. I don’t know what I’m talking about. (Alex laughs) I guess like Mother Theresa went there and like all these knarly people.

Alex: Mother Theresa.

Kristin: I don’t know. It’s just huge I guess.

Alex: That’d be kind of scary, to sing in like a huge church.

Kristin: Yeah. For like 2 million people on television and stuff. That’s knarly.

Alex: That’s knarly.

Kristin: Yeah. Look how good that looks. (They laugh)

CUT TO: Christina’s House

Christina: My throat is kind of scratchy and there’s one part where it’s like you have to hit all these high notes. It’s hard, okay?

Donna: Well you only have a few days to rehearse. I’m gonna be a mom here. Before Christina has to sing…

Christina: I know.

Donna: Just hoping that maybe you can work together

Angie: Do you know the song on piano already?

Bobby: I haven’t gone over it really. I need to take about an hour myself and go over it.

Angie: It’s not…I don’t think it’ll be hard to play.

Bobby: No it’s not.

Angie: If you heard it a couple times you could play it by ear.

Bobby: We just try it once and we kind of screwed it up.

Christina: Bobby, I didn’t screw up. She screwed up.

Reverend: Are you ready for the books?

Angie: No way.

Reverend: Yes, absolutely.

Angie: Read the bible scripture.

Donna: Every night.

Christina: I think I have to go.

CUT TO: Car

Christina is driving.

Christina: (rapping to the 50 Cent song) I came up and I ain’t changed. And you should love me when you hating. Oh you mad? I thought you’d be happy I made it. Toasting to the good life.

CUT TO: Beach

Dieter: Did you see that guy?

Stephen: Was he getting beat?

Dieter: Yeah.

Stephen: Camping is gonna be so fun. That’s why I’m amped to go this weekend. I’m stoked. We haven’t gone camping in so long. Just like chilling in a tent for the night. We got our own little yacht, so it’s gonna be perfect.

Dieter: The yacht?

Stephen: I heard it’s like a 100 feet or something.

Dieter: I’ve never been on a yacht.

Stephen: You’ve never been on Christina’s boat?

Dieter: Nuh-uh.

Stephen: That was sick?

Dieter: She has a boat?

Stephen: Yeah. It’s sick. That’s where we always used to go to Catalina on. We just pitch out on the water.

Dieter: What are we gonna do for dinner? I think we should have the chicks cook it.

Stephen: Hot dogs and hamburgers.

Dieter: We’ll get all faded and let them cook it.

Stephen: I don’t wanna get food poisoning man.

Dieter: Dude let them cook hamburgers.

Stephen: I’m gonna go to eat my hot dog and it’s gonna be like freezing cold. And my meat’s just gonna be like red. All right, when you wanna go?

Dieter: 7 A.M.

Stephen: Yeah. We gotta go.

CUT TO: The Next Morning

LC is driving to the dock.

LC: (On her phone) I’m trying to figure out where we’re supposed to be pulling into to meet everyone.

Then it shows Stephen driving to the dock.

Kristin: We’re here!

Then it shows everyone going to the yacht.

Trey: Camping trip.

Dieter: I’m already seasick.

Morgan: I’m gonna sleep on this thing. Screw the tent.

Kristin: Yeah screw camping. Let’s sleep on this thing. 

Stephen: Oh food.

Kristin: Do you want half of it?

Stephen: Yeah, thank you.

Kristin: No, no, no. That’s mine. (The horn sounds. The yacht goes out to sea)

LC: (Reading horoscopes) Ah, Aquarius? Anyone else Aquarius? Whatever. Stephen’s an Aquarius. (She looks at him) “As Mars, the planet of disagreements, moves into your sign’s relationship sector,” uh oh. “This is not the time to rock the love boat unless you know that it’s the right time to end an relationship”. (She laughs)

Kristin: Lauren’s like…(Imitates LC’s laugh. LC looks over at her.. It shows Trey outside the boat.)

Dieter: Do you know there’s mad bears here?

LC: No there’s not. There’s buffalo.

Dieter: There’s bears here.

LC: There are no bears.

Dieter: Stephen!

LC: Stephen, are there bears in Catalina?

Dieter: There’s bears dude. Didn’t you hear about those chicks that got fricking eaten?

LC: Shut up. (She hits him)

Dieter: I swear to God.

Morgan: Lauren we’re gonna sleep together right?

LC: There’s bears.

Morgan: And lions and tigers.

Dieter: Morgan, the campsite we’re going to, like a year and a half ago, someone got so messed up by a bear. I swear. They had a candy bar that was open in their tent, and the bear just charged.

Morgan: (Takes a soda) They can smell? (Dieter nods) They’re gonna attack us Lauren.

Dieter: They’ll attack you for sure.

Stephen: Land hoe, land hoe.

Kristin: Shut up.

Stephen: I don’t know how good this guy is at parallel parking. (The boat parks and everyone gets off)

Morgan: Oh it’s so beautiful.

Stephen: I think the rangers will take our gear.

Dieter: Are we trekking it up?

Stephen: Yeah, we’re hiking.

Kristin: Does anyone know which way like how to get there?

Stephen: Yeah.

Dieter: How nice does that water look?

Morgan: We’re here.

Stephen: It’s called who can their tent up first?

Morgan: Let’s go.

LC:  (Everyone is putting up their tents) It’s so dirty.

Trey: Height by numbers. 
LC: What is this?

Stephen: We’re gonna hammer these bad boys down.

LC: This is gross. (Kristin hammers) Why is this one short?

Trey: We’re gonna be snuggly in there.

LC: (She hammers) Ow!

Stephen: Make sure they don’t break.

LC: (Hammers with a rock) Ow.

Kristin: (Trey’s tent blows away and he goes to get it) Oh you guys! (Stephen laughs)

LC: (She hits her hand) Ow!

Stephen: We’re done.

Kristin: We won.

Stephen: Trey! I thought we got the kayaks right down there.

Trey: No, we have to go to the rental shop. (As everyone leaves, LC stays behind.)

Stephen: Are you sure? To get the kayaks?

Trey: Yeah.

CUT TO: The water

They are in the kayaks on the water.

Kristin: Look, this is cool.  This is cool.

Dieter: That would suck to tip over here.

Kristin: (Stephen rocks the kayaks) Stephen stop it! (They tip over. Kristin screams) Stephen, it’s cold. (She screams and laughs) You asshole. Stephen! It’s cold!

CUT TO: Campsite

LC is calling Lo.

Lo: Hello?

LC: Hey Lo.

Lo: Hi Lauren. What are you doing?

LC: Camping. (She laughs)

Lo: That sucks.

LC: It would be more fun if you were here.

Lo: Wait, is everyone like all paired up? Like Stephen and Kristin and all the guys?

LC: I don’t want to talk about it. What are you gonna do tonight?

Lo: I’m going to sushi with Mike.

LC: I’m jealous. (Lo laughs)

Lo: You’re eating hot dogs and I’m eating sushi. Yes Ma’am. Do you want me to call you when I get home?

LC: Yeah, call me after he drops you off.

Lo: Okay, Bye. Have a good time.

LC: Okay, Lo. All right, bye.

Lo: Bye. (They hang up)

CUT TO: Water

Kristin: Come on Stephen, let’s see it. Jump Stephen. Be careful. (He jumps in the water) Oh my god! Woo! Stephen, you have to get off from the back. Stephen, I went to camp. I know what I’m doing.

CUT TO: Camp site

LC is trying to sit comfortably in her chair, but is not having much luck.

LC: I hate camping.

CUT TO: Laguna Beach – Lo’s House

Lo: Hello? Hi Lauren. Oh nothing. Just deciding what shoes to wear. (She laughs) I have no clothes. Oh my sevens with the red on the butt. The brown shirt. (Looking at what earrings to wear) Brown and gold is cute together. Brown + gold’s not cute together? Oh, okay. Um, yeah I’m excited to go out with Mike tonight. I hope that it goes well. (As she talks, Mike shows up. He rings the doorbell) Mikey’s here. Hi Mikey. I’m almost ready.

Mike: Oh yeah, real ready.

Lo: I’m just not all the way ready.

CUT TO: Catalina – The Camp Site

LC is washing her feet.

Trey: You’re washing your feet?

LC: Yeah it’s dirty everywhere. And my shoes got really dirty. It’s gross.

Stephen: It’s really hot so people can start cooking on it before the coals go out.

Kristin: Let’s start making food.

Alex: If we just had a spatula, it’d be so much easier.

Kristin: These things are like retarded.

Alex: They’re stupid.

Stephen: Sure you want to go?

Trey: Yeah.

Kristin: Let the girls cook.

Dieter: Stephen, you want to go to Jack In The Box? (Stephen laughs)

Ranger: Are you guys aware we have rattlesnakes and sometimes come in the campground? Uh, deer. There’s a lot of deer that come in at night so be careful. Uh, and then bears, once and a while because of the drought, they’ve been known to come into the campground. So keep an eye out and once you’re done with your food and everything at the end of the night, put it away. And if you hear something snuffling at your tent, don’t open it.

Dieter: So there’s a good probability bears will come?

Ranger: Yeah, we’ve had four inches of rain instead of 12 or 14, so they’re looking for water.

Dieter: Told you LC.

Ranger # 2: And once you guys are done with your fire, you know, just make sure it’s out before you guys go to bed. All right. You guys have a good night. (They leave)

All: Thank you. You too.

Stephen: (He plays golf) Oh that was clean.

Trey: That was nice. (Stephen laughs. Trey goes up.)

Stephen: Trey’s got a good swing. Trey got a good swing. I don’t think we could get it to that boat if we tried.

CUT TO: Laguna Beach – Lo’s House

She and Mike are leaving on their date.

Lo: Ready Stinky?

Mike: Yeah.

Lo: Looking sharp.

Mike: Do you realize you called me Stinky?

Lo: I did. I call everyone Stinky. It’s a turn of endearment in my book. (He opens the door) Thanks Stinky.

Mike: Hurts me. (They go to the car)

Lo: I feel like I don’t match. (He opens the door for her) Thank you. Oh my gosh. This is gonna be fun. (He shuts the door and gets in the other side)

CUT TO: Campsite

People are sitting by the fire.

Morgan: Ooh!

Kristin: Yeah.

Morgan: This is so fun. It’s powerful.

Kristin: This is so good. (Kristin, Alex, Jessica, and Morgan laugh. LC is sitting by herself. She looks sad.)

Morgan: (She adds stuff to the fire) Wee!

CUT TO: Laguna Beach

Lo and Mike are walking to the restaurant

Lo: Yeah, we won’t go there. So when are you gonna decide if you’re going to Santa Barbara?

Mike: I don’t know. I’m enrolled.

Lo: But isn’t it too late to transfer somewhere?

Mike: Not if Coach helps me out.

Lo: Not if your baseball coach helps you out? Are you gonna live in IV? (His phone rings)

Mike: Hey. Yeah. (Lo looks bored) Ah, it’s pretty good. It’s going well. We will see. (Lo eats her food) Yeah. Well hey I’ll give you a call once it’s done. All right see you. (He hangs up. He looks through his phone) Two missed calls.

Lo: Want a piece of gum? (Offers him a piece. He takes it.)

Mike: Want to split it with me? I only like half pieces of gum.

Lo: Your mouth is big enough. (She sips her drink)

Mike: Your mouth obviously is big enough.

CUT TO: Campsite

Everyone is near the fire. Everyone laughs, except LC. She looks sad still and like she’s staring into space thinking about something.

CUT TO: Lo’s House

Mike drops her off.

Lo: Thank you.

Mike: See you. (He leaves)

Lo: Hello! Buster I should have gone to Catalina.

CUT TO: Campsite

LC: Wait, how does this work exactly? You’re all supposed to put your hands on it?

Alex: You like gently put your fingers on it. And then you ask it.

Kristin: All right. What are we asking it?

LC: Ask a question about somebody.

Dieter: Is Morgan a virgin? (She hits him)

Morgan: Stop it! (Everyone laughs)

Dieter: No? What the hell?

Morgan: Shut up. It’s not funny.

LC: Morgan is a virgin. (They hear a noise) What?

Stephen: Dude what the f**k is that?

Kristin: Oh my god. So did I. I’m getting out of here. I hate all you guys. I know. Seriously you guys.

Stephen: It was seriously loud.

Alex: What was it?

Kristin: It was like a bear.

Alex: I’m not lying. I heard…I heard something.

Stephen: Everyone just chill by the fire. It’s gonna be okay.

Kristin: Can everyone gather around me? (Alex laughs) All get in the middle.

Dieter: Let’s go to bed dude.

Kristin: I agree.

Stephen: It’s time to shut this down. (He puts out the fire)

LC: Good night everyone. Good night Morgan.

Kristin: Good night you guys. (Everyone gets in their tents)

Stephen: Did you take your shoes off before you came in here? (The lights turn off. They hear the noise again. Kristin screams)

Alex: Did you hear that?

Kristin: Stephen I hear a bear.

Trey: Get in your tents, get in your tents.

Dieter: Don’t get out of your tent.

Stephen: (He’s dressing up as a bear) This is gonna be hilarious. Yeah that’s obviously my belly, but what are these things? Are these my boobs?

Trey: That’s your ass, bro.

Kristin: Stephen!

Dieter: We have to hurry. They’re getting suspicious.

Kristin: Stephen where are you? Stephen! (He comes out in the beat costume) Stephen I hear a bear.

Dieter: LC!

LC: What?

Alex: Do you hear that?

Kristin: Stephen.

Dieter: Don’t get out of your tents.

Kristin: I’m so freaking.

Dieter: Open the f**king tent and let me get in. Kristin don’t get out of your tent.

Kristin: Where’s Stephen?

LC: Quiet. Turn off your light, turn off your light. (They zip the tent up)

Kristin: Stephen where are you? (They hear a bear growl) Stephen! (The head falls off)

Stephen: Dude, my hat’s falling off. (He puts it back on)

Alex: I hear these freaking animals. (People shush her)

Kristin: (She scares them) Where is Stephen?

Dieter: Get f**king in.

Alex: Kristin do you wanna get in? (Stephen growls. They all scream)

Kristin: Oh my god. This is f**king dumb. Stephen you’re pissing me off.

Stephen: That was all planned. Where’d my hat go? Where’d my hat go?

Trey: It’s down here.

Stephen: You’re such a bitch.

Alex: Can we go to bed now? This is so not cool.

Stephen: Kristin.

Kristin: That doesn’t even look like a bear.

LC: That’s stupid.

Stephen: Why can’t you take a joke?

LC: How lame did Stephen look in a bear suit? With his little tail.

Morgan: I kinda wish you and Stephen were together.

LC: I know.

CUT TO: The Next Day – Campsite

Trey is outside cleaning up. Everyone is too, along with getting their stuff. They walk down the hill to the boat. They get on the boat. They head home.

CUT TO: The Crystal Cathedral.

Reverend: I am the proudest of fathers today. My three older children will be singing during my message, there’s a time when I’m gonna invite them up + they’re gonna come and they’re gonna sing for us. So what a great morning, I tell you, I am just blessed beyond, beyond words. (As he talks, we see Christina sitting, yawning) I am just very blessed today. (Everyone claps)

Angie: That’s not good. You need to stay awake.

Christina: I’m awake.

Angie: You need to be energized.

Reverend: Comes from the persistent widow.

CUT TO: The Boat

It is still heading back to Laguna. Most of them are sleeping. LC is the only one awake. She looks sad and bored. Someone drops a pillow. She looks up at Stephen. She lies down on the pillow.

CUT TO: Crystal Cathedral

Reverend: Oh! All day long wake on, wake off.

Angie: What’s the deal with wake on, wake off?

Reverend: I don’t see it and I don’t understand it. But God tells us to pray. So if it’s wake on, wake off…

Angie: Wake on, wake off. When God tells us to pray.

Reverend: If God says “Pray”, we pray.

Bobbie: Wake off. (Christina laughs)

Reverend: We’ve got to praise the lord for all the wonderful things he’s given to us. (They start to come on stage) And I’m very, very honored to praise the lord for my children. (Everyone claps) And they’re gonna sing for us right now. (They clap again. The piano starts to play)

Christina and Angie: (singing) Father, your own lighting, my soul sufficiency. My strength when I never weak. The love that carries me.

Angie: The rose of fold me till I am only…

Christina and Angie: A child of God. (They stop singing. Everyone claps. They leave the stage and go outside)

Christina: Whoa. Glad that’s over.

CUT TO: Lo’s House

Lo: How was Catalina?

LC: Catalina sucked. I don’t want to talk about it.

Lo: Was somebody mean to you?

LC: No. I mean…

Lo: Do I need to beat someone up? (LC laughs)

LC: No. I was just grumpy the whole time ‘cause I didn’t want to be there.

Lo: How were Stephen and Kristin?

LC: Kristin’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

Lo: Oh God!

LC: She started freaking out when he disappeared to scare us all in a bear suit.

Lo: Was she like (imitates Kristin) “Ste-phen!” “Where are you?”

LC: “Ste-phen!”

Lo: “Ste-phen!”

LC: For like 15 minutes. I was trying to sleep. That’s all I could hear. It was like echoing.

Lo: How about you? Any new boys?

LC: Nope. This year hasn’t been too good to me.

Lo: But like, you’ve had boys that you’ve like hung out with and stuff.

LC: Who? I have Stephen and then we had the whole Kristin episode that didn’t last very long.

Lo: I’m sorry.

LC: Oh no. I’ve going to a city full of boys.

Lo: Things are looking up for us. (LC laughs)

The End

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Transcribed by SARAH NICHOLETT for http://www.twiztv.com
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