["Something Wicked This Way Comes" begins in Joan's bedroom in the middle of the night. Joan was sleeping, but suddenly she wakes up and turns on the lamp. Judith is sitting in a nearby chair with headphones on and reading "In Touch" magazine.]

Joan: Judith? Judith.

Judith: Oh, man, you're a deep sleeper. I thought you'd never wake up.

Joan: I've had this dream before. [She turns off the lamp and climbs back into bed.]

Judith: Look, I don't have much time. Let me do the talking.

Joan: How do you not have much time? You're dead.

Judith: Whatever. That's your perspective.

Joan: [Turns the lamp on again.] You're not dead?

Judith: It turns out all that stuff Lischak was talking about is true. You know, relativity, string theory, different dimensions. The human eye can only see a fragment of the electromagnetic spectrum. But that's not the point. You're about to be tested, so you need to get ready.

Joan: Are you talking about finals?

Judith: No.

Joan: This sounds bad. I'm not good with tests.

Judith: Here's what you need to remember. It's all true, and you're not alone.

Joan: Is it gonna be, like, written, oral, essay, multiple choice? Do I need to run or jump? Are superpowers required, because I don't have any.

Judith: Of course you do.

Joan: I knew it. God's behind this, isn't he?

Judith: He's behind everything. By the way, Adam and Cruella? That is so wrong.

Joan: Yeah. Can you believe it?

Judith: It's good you forgave him, though.

Joan: Well, he did almost freeze to death.

Judith: Your hair looks good.

Joan: Yeah? I want to cut it.

Judith: No way. It's hot.

Joan: I really miss you.

Judith: I didn't go anywhere. I'm just hard to see sometimes.

Joan: But you're ok?

Judith: Be strong, JoJo. Oh, hey. Watch this. [She dances through the closed door, then pokes just her head back.] Cool, huh? Heh heh. [She withdraws her head, leaving Joan alone.]

Joan: Yeah, like I can go to sleep now.

[Girardi kitchen, night. Helen pours hot water for tea, then turns around to see Judith standing there.]

Helen: Judith?

[Judith smiles, then walks through the kitchen table and out the wall. Helen goes to the window to look outside, apparently seeing nothing.]

[Theme song and intro credits.]

[Will's and Helen's bedroom]

Will: Honey, wake up. You've slept through two snooze-alarms.

Helen: What time is it?

Will: Late. The kids are all up.

Helen: Oh, God. I had the strangest dream. I saw Judith. She was in our kitchen.

Will: You've been working too hard.

Helen: No, I was just making a cup of tea, and she just walked right through the kitchen. God, I could've sworn I was awake. No, I'm not sick.

Will: Ok. [He leaves.]

[Helen turns and discovers her tea mug and realizes it hadn't just been a dream.]

[School lunchroom]

Joan: I swear I listened all year, I took notes, I...I got B's, but it's like I never even saw this stuff before.

Luke: Physics is hard to retain. It's counter-intuitive to the way we day-to-day perceive the world. I mean, we ignore the quantum and trust the Newtonian. It's habit.

Grace: I have no idea what you just said.

Friedman: That's because men understand science better. They've done studies.

[Both Glynis and Grace give him a slap to the head.]

Friedman: Aah! [To Glynis}: Not you, you don't count. [Glynis slaps him again.]

Luke: See, we don't fundamentally believe in sub-atomic probability. I mean, I do, but, you know, I'm a science stud.

Grace: Science and stud do not go together, dude.

Glynis: Jonas Salk had a very sexy jaw line.

Grace: Why do you know that?

Joan: So, you're all confident about the physics final?

Grace: I don't study for finals. It's against the laws of anarchy.

Adam: How can there be laws of anarchy?

[Joan sees Rocky standing in a doorway of the room.]

Adam: I really should update my portfolio so I can get an internship this summer. Otherwise, it's back to the hotel, a fate worse than death.

Grace: I have to get a job this summer, too. My dad is threatening to make me work at the temple. Camp counselor.

[Joan stands up and stares toward Rocky, who walks out of view.]

Grace: Girardi, what's with the zombie look?

Joan: I saw Rocky. [She walks out of the lunchroom in the direction Rocky went.]

Adam: Wait, Rocky?

Luke: Dead Rocky?

Grace: Every year this time, she breaks down. It's like her warranty's up.

[School hall/lobby area.]

Rocky: You looking for me, Joan?

Joan: What are you doing here?

Rocky: I wasn't sure you'd see me. Sometimes you don't.

Joan: Are you around a lot?

Rocky: Well, I like to check in.

Joan: What's going on? You and Judith don't know you're dead? I have to show you to the other side? Go to the light. That's my advice.

Rocky: You watch too many movies.

Joan: Why is this happening to me?

Rocky: There's been a disturbance in your magnetic field. You'll understand it soon. I have to go now.

Joan: Rocky. Rocky, wait!

[Rocky walks to a trophy case, then walks through it, vanishing. Joan goes over to the trophy case and appears to be talking to the glass.]

Joan: Rocky, come on! I need to know more!

[We see the others have followed her from the lunchroom and are now watching her talk to the trophy case. Joan suddenly realizes they are there and pretends it's all a joke.]

Joan: Ha ha! I got you guys. I got you guys. Man, that was easy.

Grace: So not funny, dude.

[Police station]

Police Officer: Hey, Will? Guy out here, he says he has an appointment. I pretended to be your assistant, which I thought was kind of fun.

Will: Who is he?

Officer: New president of the citizen's watchdog committee.

Will: Oh, here we go.

Officer: Now, now, you promised to play nice with the citizens.

Will: I don't remember that.

Officer: He's about 12. Don't eat him alive.

Will: I promise to cook him first.

[The officer has led him to the area where the guy is waiting.]

Officer: Ryan Hunter, Lieutenant Girardi. [She leaves them alone.]

Ryan: We meet again.

Will: Well, this is a surprise.

Ryan: I meant to introduce myself in this capacity the night of the rescue, but I felt you had enough on your mind.

Will: Please. I'd like to reiterate my gratitude for saving my daughter's friend. I suppose this automatically qualifies you as a good citizen?

Ryan: Anyone would have done the same.

Will: So, what can I do for the citizens, Mr. Hunter?

Ryan: As you know, this counsel was formed in the wake of the various scandals inside the Arcadia police force, most of which you brought to light.

Will: So you know it's my highest goal to keep the department clean and accountable to the community.

Ryan: We're just here to help you realize that goal.

Will: Out of curiosity, why would a young guy like you want this job?

Ryan: I have the dubious distinction of being independently wealthy.

Will: I always meant to do that.

Ryan: I was just in the right dot-com place at the right time, and also had sense enough to get out. It's in my DNA to give back to the community.

Will: Well, you let me know what you need from us. Police reports, stats, tickets to the pancake dinner.

Ryan: It cuts both ways. We're here to help you in any way that we can, so don't hesitate to pick up the phone.

Will: Great. Well, this was painless. Hope it stays that way.

Ryan: My hope, as well.

[Helen and Lily walking along a downtown street.]

Helen: I see things that aren't there, except they are. And then sometimes they happen.

Lily: Yes, we call that crazy.

Helen: No, listen. Last night I saw Joan's dead friend Judith, only I was not dreaming. I really did see her.

Lily: Okay.

Helen: And last year, when Joan got sick, somehow I knew, and I just went to the hospital, and there she was. And the night of Kevin's accident, I had this vision of him lying on the ground, and then the cops came. So is there anything this could be other than I'm having a breakdown?

Lily: Well, you could be possessed, but, you know, usually there's more foaming from the mouth.

Helen: Well, thanks. You've been a real comfort.

[They enter a coffee shop.]

Lily: Okay, look. There's such a thing as a charism, but it's rare.

Helen: What is a charism?

Lily: It comes from the Greek word for gift, and in theology, it's a divine spiritual talent given to people for the good of the community. There are all kinds. There's preaching, teaching, prophecy, and interpretation of tongues. The one you're describing is the discernment of spirits.

Helen: Why would I have this? Do you have this?

Lily: No. I prayed for that charism my whole life, and if you've got it without even being confirmed, I'm extra pissed at God.

Helen: Well, you can have mine. I don't know what to do with it.

Lily: Well, you know, don't panic, ok? There's still a chance that you're just losing it. I mean, after all, your kid went nuts.

Helen: Thanks. I'll cling to that. [To the server behind the counter]: Can I have a green tea, please?

[Residential street, Joan is walking along the sidewalk when she gets called from behind a tall fence.]

Little Girl God: Hi, Joan! It's me. Over here. [She is appearing up over the fence, then back down, then up again.]

Joan: Oh God.

God: That's right! It's me!

[Joan opens the broad gate of the fence and we see that God is jumping on a trampoline.]

Joan: Can we cut to the chase? What's going on? 'Cause I don't wanna go back to crazy camp.

God: A lot of things are going on. Gravity, inertia, entropy, electrodynamics, strong force, weak force.

Joan: Oh, so we're being funny now, are we?

God: I thought you'd be happy to see your friends.

Joan: Yes. Alive. That's how I like to see my friends.

God: They were trying to illustrate a point. Matter is neither created nor destroyed.

Joan: Ok, I've been studying physics. I get that part.

God: I know you understand it, but you have to believe it, because it's going to be on the other test, which is unlike any test you've ever had.

Joan: No chance you could help me study for this one, maybe give me an advance copy?

God: Just start with the question.

Joan: What question?

God: The one you asked the first time you saw me. Think about it.

Joan: Why me?

God: That's the one.

[Girardi kitchen. Kevin is working with some papers at the table when Joan enters.]

Joan: So, I'm thinking grease and salt. How about you?

Kevin: I went with sugar and chemicals. I'm good.

Joan: Why aren't you with Lily? She dump you?

Kevin: You know, sometimes I do the dumping. I'm not always the dumpee.

Joan: Did you dump Lily?

Kevin: Nobody got dumped. We both had to work.

Joan: Oh. So it's really just me that's all alone and pathetic.

Kevin: Pretty much.

Joan: What do you remember about me as a kid?

Kevin: Well, I remember once you stuffed beans up your nose.

Joan: Kev, seriously. Was there anything special about me?

Kevin: There was YaYa.

Joan: What?

Kevin: You had this imaginary friend named YaYa. You were always talking to him. Mom had to pretend to make sandwiches for him, no one was allowed to sit in his chair, we had to make room for him in the car. You were totally obsessed with it, and you got really mad if anyone said he wasn't real.

Joan: What did he look like?

Kevin: You said he always was different, and sometimes he was a girl. Then one day when you were 4 or 5, you announced he was gone. You said, uh, "I can't see YaYa anymore." You weren't sad, just matter of fact. Kind of like a sociopath. You wanna hear about the time you threw up spaghetti on Hazel the babysitter?

Joan: No. No, I'm good for now. Good night.

Kevin: It was hilarious. It was in her hair.

[Helen, in her nightgown, in sitting in a pew of her church, watching a couple clowns juggling colorful balls. She's laughing. Then one of the balls gets dropped and it splatters a paint-like substance. The clowns begin throwing the balls around, splattering the paint in various colors against the walls, the altar, an open bible, the statues of saints...]

Helen: What are you doing? Stop, you're making a mess! Stop! That's not funny!

[Helen looks to the side and sees Goth God leaning against a door jamb.]

Helen: Whoa. Should God look weirder than they do? Hey, do something.

God: It's not up to me.

[A public telephone rings. Helen looks around and sees it in the place where God had been a moment before. She gets up from the pew and picks up the receiver.]

[Fast shift to Will's and Helen's bedroom, Will is on the phone.]

Will: Ok, got it. I'll be right there. Yeah, I know the place. [He hangs up.] I have to go.

Helen [mostly asleep]: They're just clowns.

Will: Right.

[In the Catholic church nave, the place is a total mess, with paint splattered around, statues broken into pieces, pews overturned, everything looks completely trashed except for a couple stained-glass windows. There are people milling around, inspecting the damage, including some police officers, firemen and nuns.]

Will: Is the damage confined to this area?

Father Ken: Yes, and nothing is missing. Some of the icons are gold or silver. This is just vandalism.

Detective Carlisle: Any disgruntled parishioners? Angry mail? Threats?

Ken: Someone's always disgruntled, and hate mail comes with the territory. But nothing unusual, nothing too disturbing. I don't think it's kids. We've had that before.

Carlisle: It's terrible, Father. You know, I'm not a religious guy, but...it's hard to look at a thing like this.

Ken: Thank you. I should go make some phone calls.

Will: And we're gonna find who did this. [Father Ken walks off.]

Carlisle: Sick bastard. [Will gives him a strange look.] I mean the perp, not the Father. You Catholic, boss?

Will: Call Forensics.

Carlisle: I did. They're on their way.

Will: See what's keeping them.

[Carlisle gets the idea and walks off. When Will is reasonably alone, he gazes at a cross which has remained upright and surreptitiously crosses himself.]

[School, some kind of commons room, where Joan joins Luke at a table.]

Joan: Hi.

Luke: Studying. Ignoring you.

Joan: This won't take long.

Luke: I'm not gonna help you, ok? It's every physicist for himself.

Joan: Just explain the electromagnetic spectrum to me.

Luke: Nope.

Joan: Look, it's not for class. It's personal.

Luke: You have personal issues with the electromagnetic spectrum?

Joan: I just want to understand it a little better. I'll pay you $10, and I'll clean your room.

Luke: Twenty, and that includes the fish tank. Chicken?

[Luke holds out his hand, palm-up. Joan uses her fingers and thumb to make pecking motions into his hand. That seems to seal the deal.]

Luke: Ok. This is the electromagnetic spectrum. Give me your ring. Ok. This is what the human eye can see of it. Over here we have atoms, molecules, particles, magnetic fields, gravity, blah, blah, blah. Stuff that we can't see, but which we can quantify with mathematical equations based on its behavior. That is, we can construct a feasible metaphor.

Joan: What's over here?

Luke: Everything else.

Joan: What do you mean?

Luke: Dimensions, time warps, time travel. Stuff we haven't figured out how to do yet.

Joan: Ghosts?

Luke: Yeah, ghosts, UFOs, shape-shifting, whatever you like. Everything's possible that has not been defined.

Joan: So where's God?

Luke: No, I cannot get into God because that's unified field theory, and that's my area, and I'm not gonna give you the edge.

Joan: Luke. [Inhales, exhales] Breathe through your nose. [She gets up and leaves.]

[Luke inhales deeply through his nose.]

[Catholic church nave, volunteers are working to clean up the mess from the vandalism. Lily lifts the broken head of a St. Joan figure and places it into a box. Helen is next to her. Kevin is off a ways, talking to Father Ken.]

Lily: Look at him badgering the priest.

Helen: Well, it is his job to get the story.

Lily: Whose side are you on?

Helen: His.

Lily: Oh, right.

Helen [suddenly remembering]: I saw this. I knew this was gonna happen. I dreamt about it.

Lily: Don't.

Helen: No, I can't help it. It's true.

Lily: Well, did you happen to dream about who did it?

Helen: Clowns. In my dream it was clowns.

Lily: I don't think there's a charism for clowns.

Helen: Yesterday you took this seriously.

Lily: Ok, I'm sorry. All right? I just get cranky when I'm picking up broken pieces of saints.

[Kevin wheels over to them.]

Kevin: Looks like it might be related to another church vandalism case over in Marston. If that pans out, then it's a serial thing, and then it's a front page story.

Lily: Is that what this is to you? A byline?

Kevin: This is news. Printing the story is only gonna help catch the guy. Isn't that what you want?

Lily: I want it not to have happened.

Kevin: I think that's everyone's first choice.

Lily: People pray in here. Do you get that? They come in here with their insides all churned up and their hearts hurting, and all of their dead relatives, and their hopes and dreams and failures, and what keeps them awake at night, and they put it in here. And some creep comes in here and does this without even thinking about what it means.

Helen: Lily...

Lily: No, you don't care. You just dabble in it. [To Kevin]: And you just wanna write a story about it, but to me, this was everything. [She gets up and strides away.]

[Joan is walking down a hallway at school and suddenly a bright red garbage bag is flipped open in front of her.]

Lady Custodian God: God's here! Ha ha ha! How's it going?

Joan: Why do you ask questions you know the answer to?

God: To give you the opportunity to respond.

Joan: Of course. Thanks for all the extra work at exam time.

God: You've already done most of the work, Joan. The last couple of years, think of them as kind of a training ground, a spiritual boot camp. You're doing quite well. And I'm God, I should know.

[They exit the building together.]

Joan: Whatever it is you're preparing me for, I'm not ready.

God: You will be. Oh, look, there's Adam. Why don't you go say hi?

Joan: Were you YaYa?

God: Why do you ask questions that you know the answer to?



[Joan walks over to the tree Adam is near, talking with someone who turns out to be Ryan Hunter.]

Adam: Hey, Jane. You remember Ryan, right?

Joan: Sure.

Ryan: Good to see you again.

Adam: Get this, Ryan was just jogging by and we ran into each other, totally random, and, you know, we were talking. I was mentioning to him I was looking for an internship, so he thinks he can get me one at The Herald.

Joan: The paper, where my brother works?

Adam: He owns it.

[Ryan chuckles.]

Joan: He...owns the paper?

Ryan: More like a silent partner.

Joan: So, what are you, like, rich?

Ryan: I've been lucky. [To Adam]: So I'll set up a meeting for next week.

Adam: Great. Thanks. I really have to jet on my portfolio, so I'll see you later, Jane. [He leaves.]

Joan: You've been really good to Adam. I think saving his life is probably enough.

Ryan: Why don't you like me, Joan?

Joan: I don't not like you. I don't know you.

Ryan: We have a lot more in common than you realize.

Joan: Oh, really? Besides Adam?

Ryan [in a kind of whisper]: I saw you talking to her.

Joan: Who?

[Ryan inclines his head, and Joan looks in that direction, sees God.]

Joan: The custodian?

Ryan: [laughs] Yeah. Nice metaphor. Kind of relentless, isn't she? Or he? A little annoying. Omnipresent and always right.

Joan: You-- you can see--

Ryan: God. Since I was about your age. We'll have plenty of time to talk.

[Ryan walks off, in God's general direction. As the wind suddenly blows harder, he stares at God as he walks past her, and she looks back at him. Then God walks away past Joan, and we go to commercials.]

[The bookstore, Joan is sitting on the floor against one of the shelve-ends, talking on the phone.]

Joan: Yeah in the last hour? Let's see. Nothing. The hour before that, nada. It's dead, Sammy. It's like there are plagues coming. Please, just let me close up. I have to study. [She hears the front door open.] Oh, wait, there's a customer. He hasn't heard about the plagues. I'll call you back later. [She turns the phone off and looks around the stack to see that Ryan is the person who had come in.]

Joan: Hi, we're--oh. Hi. It's you. And it's me.

Ryan: Here we are. Do you have anything on how to run a newspaper?

Joan: You're kidding, right?

Ryan: Not really. Just about everything I know was self-taught. All the information in the world, right here for the taking. Most people don't know how to use it. That's to our advantage.

Joan: That and the other thing.

Ryan: Right. Yeah. Of course.

Joan: So, when did it all start for you?

Ryan: Oh, I was 14. I was a lonely, emotional kid, and when my parents got divorced, I needed someone to talk to, so I made him up. And suddenly, he was real.

Joan: You know why you were chosen and all that?

Ryan: I don't really care.

Joan: Where do you think it's leading? I mean, there must be some kind of big plan. That's why we're meeting. It's all coming together.

Ryan: Like I said, Joan, I just don't care.

Joan: What do you mean?

Ryan: Well, he's master of the universe, he created everything. I'm supposed to be impressed? With this universe? You do watch the news occasionally?

Joan: Yeah, but--

Ryan: if he were really that divine, not to mention smart and merciful, he would've scrapped the free will idea. We would've been like computers. Intelligent, capable, infallible even, but not free.

Joan: I don't get it.

Ryan: We don't have to be bossed around by some love-starved egocentric deity. I didn't ask to be born, but now that I'm here, it's all up to me. I like it that way. My life is a gift? Ok, thanks. He can't ask for it back.

Joan: Does he know you feel this way?

Ryan: We've talked about it. He enjoys the debate. He's a great conversationalist. Very well-informed.

Joan: If you know that he's God, how can you just say no? He's in charge.

Ryan: But he's not.

Joan: But he will be.

Ryan: When it's over, it's over. That's a little something he left out of the story.

Joan: That's not true.

Ryan: How do you know?

Joan: I just know.

Ryan: Hmm. [He pulls a book off the shelf.] Hegel. I haven't read him in a while. Do you know what his philosophy was? "Life must be some kind of terrible mistake." But the beautiful thing, Joan? It's not my mistake. Don't look at me like that. I'm a good guy. [He puts the book back.] I saved Adam's life.

[He exits the store and the wind blows strongly.]

[Sidewalk cafe.]

Kevin: Ok. So here's what we're looking at. A Three Stooges film festival. If you say yes, it's true love. A Yugoslavian film I can't pronounce about, uh, people wearing bad clothes and being hungry. It's quite a masterpiece. Or a tractor pull. Tractor pull's always good. Laser tag?

Lily: It makes me wanna go back. What happened at the church.

Kevin: You mean all the way? The "full metal nun" back?

Lily: Look, it's just-- I was thinking about why I left, and it's because I wasn't sure. I mean, I had questions. I was angry. I didn't completely understand what God was up to. I was just a little confused, that's all. And so I threw away my whole vocation because I was a little confused.

Kevin: That's the whole reason you left?

Lily: Ok, the guy thing was part of it. I mean, I kept thinking about falling in love and how I would never get to do that. You're not really supposed to feel that way if you have a calling. So I thought maybe I was hiding from life in here, and now that I'm out, I feel like I'm hiding from God.

Kevin: You're just stuck. Psychological quicksand. I was like that after the accident. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to die. Eventually, one choice just comes into focus. [She smiles.] And you thought I was just handsome.



[Girardi garage. Joan is looking at an old family photo album showing her parents and some baby photos. She flips a few pages and finds loose photos of both her mother and father, about the ages when they first met.]

Judith: Now you're getting warm, JoJo. A cop and an artist. An avenger and a visionary. What kind of kid did you'd think they'd have?

Joan: Ok, can you stop showing up like that? I mean, I miss you, bit it freaks me out because none of my other friends are dead.

Judith: Losers.

Joan: So it's meant to be. It's some kind of calling.

Judith: Circumstances conspire. Energies converge into powerful new forces. That's where you come in. [Judith suddenly becomes very serious.] You have to go. [She abruptly turns and walks out of the garage through the unfinished boat.]

[Girardi den, Helen is napping.]

[In her dream, Helen is wearing her nightgown and spinning around inside a circle of spraying water sprinklers.]

Helen: Come on in!

Grace: I can't.

Helen: Why not?

Grace: It's on fire.

Helen: No, it's only water!

[Suddenly the sprinklers emit a flurry of sparks which then turns into flames. The mood of delight is gone, and Helen and Grace have lost their smiles as they look at each other through the flames.]

[Helen wakes up in the den, concerned. Joan comes into the room.]

Joan: Something's wrong.

[We can hear distant sirens.]

[Jewish synagogue in flames. Firefighters are spraying the structure with water. Will arrives and catches up with Carlisle.]

Carlisle: They think they've got it contained. It won't affect the other structures.

Will: Anybody hurt?

Carlisle: No. Synagogue was empty.

Will: Are we looking at the same guy?

Carlisle: Can't know yet. Rabbi's over here if you want to talk to him.

Will: What's his name?

Carlisle: Polonsky.

Will: Polonsky?

[Will looks toward the firetrucks and sees Rabbi Polonsky and Grace watching the fire with solemn expressions. Something in the building explodes causing everyone to duck. There's another explosion after that. Then, in a very moving slow-motion scene, through the smoke and light of the flames, we see a firefighter exiting the building carrying the rescued Torah. There are additional explosions. Grace and her father cling to each other in grief.]

[Note: A scene that was cut for time would have shown Rabbi Polonsky, Grace, Luke, Joan, Helen and Will in the Girardi kitchen discussing the burning of the temple. Joan says or implies that Ryan might be behind it. Rabbi Polonsky indicates that his father had built the synagogue. He and Will go back there to look for any evidence. Helen and Joan prepare a room for Grace to spend the night, then Grace ends up crying when she and Luke are finally left alone.

No definite word on if this scene was merely scripted or actually filmed, but if it was filmed, there is the hope it might appear on the DVD for Season 2.]

[Girardi foyer, later the same night. Will arrives home and Joan is waiting for him.]

Will: Joan? It's late.

Joan: Yeah, I know.

Will: How's Grace?

Joan: Snoring.

Will: It's good she can sleep.

Joan: Uh, dad... I think I know who did it.

Will: What?

Joan: The guy who rescued Adam. Ryan Hunter. I had the weirdest feeling about him that night. And I've seen him since, and...we've talked, and he... has this thing with God.

Will: He told you this?

Joan: He thinks he's smarter than God. He thinks it's some kind of a game. You just have to trust me on this.

Will: Joan, a lot people think they're smarter than God. A lot of people have big problems in this area. I'm one of them. I don't burn down religious institutions.

Joan: No, this guy is different. I know it, and don't ask me how I know, I just do. So please, for once in our lives, trust that I might know something you don't.

Will: Ryan Hunter was just in my office yesterday. He's on the citizen's watchdog committee. He works with the police. I appreciate you wanting to help, but you need to leave this to me... ok, sweetie? You just take care of your friend. Go back to bed.

[Catholic church nave, the debris has been cleaned up and the pews put back into place. Kevin enters while Lily is draping a red cloth over the altar.]

Kevin: The place looks better. I've been thinking about what you've said. Um, I just wanted you to know it's ok. I can't compete with God. On the other hand, I don't feel so slighted losing out to him. I, uh... appreciate you taking me seriously and giving me a chance. It could have been fun.

Lily: Father Ken said that if I think I somehow had something to do with the church getting destroyed, then I'm making myself too important and I have to pray for humility. He also says that I'm feeling this way because it's the first time I've really ever confronted the fact that I'm... that I could... that you are... that we might... you were the first guy whoever made me...

Kevin: Speechless?

Lily: So because you make me feel so...whatever... I should probably figure out what this... whatever is, because I can't hide from myself. Because according to St. Augustine, "to know yourself is to know God."

Kevin: I like this Augustine. And Father Ken. [He pulls Lily toward him and she sits on the arm of his chair so they can hold each other.] But it's wrong to make out in a church? [Both chuckle nervously.] Just checking.

Lily: Come on. Let's get out of here.

[School hallway.]

Grace: Ok. So I've made a decision. Since my father has enough on his mind with the synagogue being a pile of rubble and all, I can't afford to flunk physics. So for the first time in the history of final exams, I am going to study. Hey, coma girl.

Joan: What?

Grace: Impromptu study group at lunch? You in?

Joan: Oh. Yeah. [She sees Ryan talking with her mother.] Um... I'll catch up with you.

Grace: Sure. Why not?

Joan: Hi.

Helen: Hey.

Ryan: Hi, Joan.

Helen: Oh, right. Of course you two know each other.

Joan: What are you doing here?

Helen: Ryan just got elected to the school board. I'm showing him what he got himself into.

Joan: You're on the school board?

Ryan: Just trying to help out.

Helen: Well, I got to go to class, so...

Ryan [touching Helen's arm]: Oh, I think I've learned enough for one day. Thank you, Helen.

Helen: Sure, sure. All right. Bye.

Joan: Bye.

[Helen leaves.]

Joan: Well, you're just everywhere.

Ryan: I do what I can.

Joan: It's a brilliant idea, hiding in plain sight.

Ryan: I'm not hiding, Joan.

Joan: I'm onto you.

Ryan: Beyond what we've discussed?

Joan: Beyond that. Like vandalism and arson.

Ryan: You can't imagine how lonely I've been all these years, Joan. How frustrated, knowing there had to be someone out there with a similar experience, wondering who it was, and if we'd meet, and when we did, if that person would be a worthy opponent. I have to admit, I never pictured a sixteen-year-old girl.

Joan: Seventeen. With a working knowledge of physics, not to mention a real bug up my ass about anyone who wants to hurt my friends.

Ryan: The point is, I'm impressed. I'm excited. I think this is going to be a fair fight, don't you?

Joan: I have a slight advantage. I have God on my side.

Ryan: Mmm. So far, I have the cops, the newspaper, and the school board. He didn't stop any of that from happening. I think this is going to be the challenge of a lifetime.

[Outside school, Glynis, Friedman, Grace and Luke sitting on the steps.]

Glynis: I personally feel violated that Lischak is including popular science on the exam. It's like the Maroon 5 of physics. Admittedly, they have a groove and the lead singer's hot.

Grace: People, are we going to study, or are we going to revert back to hormones?

Luke: Well, hormones are physics. At least the conversion of hormones can be construed that way. It's not an evolved form, of course.

[While Luke talks, Joan arrives and sits down. Just as she's getting settled, Adam arrives.]

Adam: Hey. I got the internship at the paper.

Joan: The one Ryan set up for you?

Adam: Yeah. He's a real godsend.

Joan: Maybe it's not such a good idea for you to do that.

Adam: Why not?

Joan: I don't like him, Adam.

Adam: I thought you did.

Joan: No, no. Actually, it's the opposite. He's just... [She sees Goth God walking by behind Adam.]

Adam: What? He's what, Jane?

Joan: I'll be right back.

Friedman: Is she spinning out again?

Grace: Did she ever stop?

[Joan catches up to Goth God. While they talk, they walk around a brick-wall structure which hides them for a time from the group, then brings them back into sight of the group.]

Joan: Okay, God. So what's the message here? Ryan is the adversary?

God: I told you before, he's a connection.

Joan: He's evil.

God: Connections are mostly neutral, Joan. Ryan is human, and every human, by virtue of free will, has the choice of how to direct his actions, for good or evil.

Joan: Yeah. He's made it clear how he's directing his.

God: He saved Adam. He got him a job.

Joan: He trashed churches and burned down a synagogue.

God: The universe is kinetic, Joan. Every day, you have to make a choice. Make it better or worse. Most people do a little bit of both. And there are those powerful enough to overbalance the scales on either end.

Joan: So is this fancy talk for you expect me to save the world?

God: Counterbalance is a better word.

Joan: You want me to fight back?

God: I expect you to fulfill your true nature, same as it ever was.

Joan: I really don't think I'm up to this.

God: I think you are or else you wouldn't have met him.

Joan: This is seriously going to cut into my normal high school routine.

God: You never liked high school that much.

Joan: If you want me to do this, I get it, but I can't do it alone. My own father doesn't believe me. My ex-boyfriend is siding with the devil. I have no weapons. Other people who have fought back, you know, the other Joan, she had an army, ok? I don't have anything like that. Where's my army?

[God looks pointedly to the side. Joan follows his gaze to see her group of friends. Grace says, "Quit it, Friedman!" and both Grace and Glynis smack Friedman. Luke is tossing something at Friedman. Adam is seemingly oblivious, lost in his own thoughts.]

Joan: Yeah. So basically I'm on my own.

God: You have everything you need, Joan. [He walks off, giving a low Godwave.]

[The music rises, and Ryan Hunter comes up another stairway behind Joan. They stare at each other as he walks by and the wind again begins to blow heavily. Ryan smirks and keeps looking back at Joan as he walks away.]

[Bruce Springsteen's song "Trapped" plays us out...]

Good will conquer Evil

And the truth will set me free

And I know some day I will find the key

I know somewhere I will find the key

[We fade to black on "Something Wicked This Way Comes" and bring the second season of Joan of Arcadia to a close.]