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TRANSCRIPT:
(*Notes* There was one brief second or two in Scene four which couldn't be scripted)
==========================
Scene One
[Title: The Year 2030]
Narrator: Kids, I’m going to tell
you an incredible story. The story of how I met your mother
Son: Are we being punished for
something?
Narrator: No
Daughter: Yeah, is this going to
take a while?
Narrator: Yes. (Kids are annoyed)
Twenty-five years ago, before I was dad, I had this whole other life.
(Music Plays, Title “How I Met Your
Mother” appears)
Narrator: It was way back in 2005.
I was twenty-seven just starting to make it as an architect and living in New York with my friend Marshall, my best friend from college. My life was good and then
Uncle Marshall went and screwed the whole thing up.
Marshall:
(Opens ring) Will you marry me.
Ted: Yes, perfect! And then you’re
engaged, you pop the champagne! You drink a toast! You have sex on the kitchen
floor… Don’t have sex on our kitchen floor.
Marshall:
Got it. Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted.
Ted: Dude, are you kidding? It’s
you and Lily! I’ve been there for all the big moments of you and Lily. The
night you met. Your first date… other first things.
Marshall:
(laughs) yeah, sorry. We thought you were asleep.
Ted: It’s physics Marshall, if the
bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves too. My god, you’re getting engaged
tonight.
Marshall:
Yeah, what are you doing tonight?
(Scene Freezes)
Narrator: What was I doing?
Your Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life, and me—I’m calling
your Uncle, Barney.
[Cut to Later: Barney’s in the
barber shop, Ted’s talking from home]
Barney: (on the phone) hey, so you
know how I’ve always had a thing for half-Asian girls? Well, now I’ve got a new
favorite: Lebanese girls! Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians.
Ted: Hey, you wanna do something
tonight?
Barney: Okay, meet me at the bar in
fifteen minutes, and Suit up!
----------------
Scene Two
(The Bar)
Ted: Hey.
Barney: Where’s your suit!? Just
once when I say suit up, I wish you’d put on a suit.
Ted: I did that one time.
Barney: It was a blazer!
Ted: You know, ever since college
it’s been Marshall and Lily and me. Now it’s going to be Marshall and Lily… and
me. They’ll get married, start a family—before long I’m the weird, middle-aged
bachelor their kids call “Uncle Ted”.
(Barney hits Ted)
Barney: I see what this is about.
Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met?
[Cut to Flashback the night Barney
and Ted met]
[Still in the Bar]
(Ted is talking to another couple;
Barney randomly joins them and interrupts)
Barney: Ted, I’m going to teach you
how to live. (Ted’s shocked) Barney, we met at the urinal.
Ted: Oh, right. Hi.
Barney: Lesson one, lose the
goatee. It doesn’t look good with your suit.
Ted: I’m not wearing a suit.
Barney: Lesson two, get a suit.
Suits are cool. (Points to self with bear bottle in hand) Exhibit A. (Flirts to
a woman unseen) Lesson three, don’t even think about getting married till
you’re… thirty.
[Flashback ends]
Ted: Thirty, right. You’re right. I
guess it’s just, you’re best friend gets engaged—you start thinking about that
stuff.
Barney: I thought I was your best
friend. Ted, say I’m your best friend.
Ted: You’re my best friend, Barney.
Barney: Good! And as your best
friend, I suggest we play a little game called… “Have you met Ted?”
Ted: Wai—no, no, no. We’re not
playing “Have You Met Ted?”
Barney: (Taps a woman names
Yasmine) Hi, have you met Ted? (Leaves and watches from a distance).
Ted: (To Yasmine) Hi, I’m Ted.
Yasmine: Yasmine.
Ted: It’s a very pretty name.
Yasmine: Thanks, It’s Lebanese.
------------
Scene Three
(The Apartment)
Marshall:
Hey!
Lily: Urgh. I’m exhausted. It was
finger painting day at school, and a five year old boy (takes coat off
revealing a purple hand print on her right breast) got to second base with me.
Wow, you’re cooking?
Marshall:
Yes, I am.
Lily: Aww—(They kiss) Are you sure
that’s a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows.
Marshall: I
can handle this; I’m full of surprises tonight.
Lily: So there’s more surprises?
Like what?
Narrator: Marshall was in his
second year of law school, so he was pretty good at thinking on his feet.
Marshall:
BOOGITY BOO! And that’s all of them! I’m goanna go… cook. (Leaves)
[Cut to the bar, Ted is chatting
with Yasmine]
Ted: I’m so happy for Marshall, I really am. I just couldn’t imagine settling down right now.
Yasmine: So do you think you’ll
ever get married?
Ted: Well maybe eventually. Some
fall day. Possibly in Central Park. Simple ceremony, we’ll write our own vows.
But--eh--no DJ, people will dance. I’m not going to worry about it! Damn it,
why did Marshall have to get engaged? (Yasmine laughs) Yeah, nothing hotter
than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh?
Yasmine: Actually, I think it’s
cute.
Ted: Well, you’re clearly drunk
(pulls her wine glass away. Hold up glass to bartender) ONE MORE FOR THE LADY!
[Cut to Kitchen with Marshall and
Lily. Lily has a pan out sautéing, Marshall jumps off a countertop]
Marshall:
Okay, look what I got (runs to the fridge. Takes out wine bottle)
Lily: Aw—honey. Champagne! (hands
it to Marshall)
Marshall:
(after short silence) Yeah. (hands it back)
Lily: (realizing) No, you are too
old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne!
Marshall:
I’m not scared.
Lily: Then open it!
Marshall:
Fine (takes bottle. Looks at it for a couple of seconds) Please open it (hands
it to Lily)
Lily: You are unbelievable, Marshall. No—(Scene splits in half and shows both Lily and Marshall on top arguing and Ted
and Yasmine on the bottom mingling)
Narrator: There are two big
questions a man has to ask in life. One you plan out for months, the other just
slips out when you’re half drunk at some bar.
Marshall: (To
Lily) will you marry me?
Ted: (To Yasmine) you wanna go out
sometime?
(Scene split ends, and returns to
Lily and Marshall’s scene)
Lily: Of course, you idiot! (hugs
him and they fall back)
[Cut to Scene with Ted and Yasmine
at bar]
Yasmine: I’m sorry; Carl’s my
boyfriend (points to bartender)
Ted: Sup, Carl?
[Cut to Scene in Kitchen, Marshall
and Lily lay up while on the ground, after sex]
Marshall: I
promised Ted we wouldn’t do that.
Lily: Did you know there’s a pop
tart under your fridge?
Marshall:
No, but dibs. Where’s that champagne? I wanna drink a toast with my fiancé.
Lily: aww (claps. They kiss)
Marshall: I
don’t know why I was so scared of this. Pretty easy right? (Pops cork, hit’s
Lily’s eye)
Lily: (YELLS)
Marshall:
(covers mouth) OH!
Ted: Why am I freaking out all of a
sudden? This is crazy! I’m not ready to settle down.
Barney: (ignoring) how does Carl
land a Lebanese girl?
Ted: It’s always been “don’t even think
about it till you’re thirty”
Barney: Exactly—the guy doesn’t
even own a suit!
Ted: Plus Marshall’s found the love
of his life. Even if I was ready, which I’m not, but if I was it’s like, “Okay,
I’m ready! Where is she?” (Spots Robin)
Narrator: and there she was.
[Fade out]
---------
Scene Four
(The Bar—Focusing on Ted and Robin)
Narrator: It was like something
from an old movie. Where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance
floor, turns to his buddy and says, “see that girl? I’m going to marry her
someday”
Ted: Hey Barney, see that girl?
(Breif cut-out portion)
Barney: (to Robin) Hey, have you
met Ted?
Robin: Let me guess, (points) Ted?
(Ted Nods)
--------
Scene Five
(Taxi on the way to hospital)
Marshall:
I’m sorry, Lily. I’m so sorry. Take us to the hospital.
Cabdriver: Whoa, whoa, whoa—did you
hit her?
(Laughter)
Lily: Hit me? Please, this guy
could barely even spank me in bed for fun. He’s all like, (hits ice in bag
using to cover eye) “Oh, did that hurt?” and I’m like, “Come on, let me have it
you pansy!” (realizes) Wow, complete stranger.
Cabdriver: no, no, no, no—it’s
okay, go on. (Turns meter on.) So these, spankin’s…you in pajamas or going “naturelle”
[Cut to bar with Robin]
Ted: So what do you do?
Robin: I’m a reporter for Metro
News 1.
Ted: (nods) Oh.
Robin: Well, kind of a reporter. I
do those dumb little fluff pieces at the end of the news, you know.
Like—um—monkey that can play the ukulele. I’m hoping to get some bigger stories
soon.
Ted: Bigger like, uh, gorilla with
an up-right bass? Sorry, you’re really pretty. (Robin laughs and waves to her
friends) Oh, your friends don’t seem too happy.
Robin: Yeah, see the one in the
middle just got dumped by her boyfriend so tonight every guy is… “The enemy”.
Ted: You know if you don’t make
your friend feel better you could throw a drink at my face. I don’t mind.
Robin: She would love that! It does
look fun in the movies.
Ted: Hey, you wanna have dinner
with me Saturday night?
Robin: Oh, I can’t. I’m going to Orlando for a week on Friday. Some guys attempting to make a big (cut) so my news is
covering it.
Ted: That’s going to take a week?
Robin: Yeah, he’s going to eat it
too, it’s another record.
Robin’s Dumped Friend: Hey, what’s
taking so long?
Ted: Uh, I know this is a long
shot, but how about tomorrow night?
Robin: (stops) Yeah, (agrees) What
the hell (passes number to Ted. Throws drink on Ted’s face) JERK! (Walks away.
Whispers) that was fun.
Barney: (comes back laughing)
De—wait for it—nied! Denied!
Ted: We’re going out tomorrow
night.
Barney: I thought we were playing
laser tag tomorrow night?
Ted: Yeah, I was never going to go
play laser tag. (Wipes alcohol off his face)
------
Scene Six
(Bistro, Ted’s date with Robin.
There’s a blue French horn showcased on the wall a table away from theirs.)
Narrator: The next night, I took
her out to this little bistro in Brooklyn.
Robin: Wow that is one bad-ass blue
French horn.
Ted: Yeah.
Robin: Mhmm.
Ted: Sort of looks like a… Smurf
penis.
(Scene Freezes)
Narrator: Son, a piece of advice.
When you go on a first date you really don’t wanna say “smurf penis”. Girls
don’t ordinarily like that.
(Scene unfreezes. Robin spits her
drink back into her glass. Laughs)
Narrator: But that was no ordinary
girl.
[Cut to the Apartment]
(Lily and Marshall are sitting on
the couch. Lily’s wearing an eye patch on her left eye and is totally unaware
that Marshall is sitting bedside her because of the eye patch.)
Marshall:
Lilly?
(Lily jolts)
Lily: How long have you been
sitting there!? Stupid eye patch.
(Ted enters)
Ted: Mom, dad, I have found the
future Mrs. Ted Mosby! Marshall, how have I always described my perfect woman?
Marshall:
Oh let’s see (thinks) she likes dogs?
[Flashback to Date]
Robin: I’ve got five dogs.
[Flashback over.]
Marshall:
…she drinks scotch?
[Flashback to Date]
Robin: I love a scotch
that’s old enough to order its own scotch.
[Flashback over.]
Marshall: Can
quote obscure lines from “Ghostbusters”?
[Flashback to Date]
Robin: Ray, when someone asks you
if you’re a god you say, “Yes!”
[Flashback over.]
Ted: And I’m saving the best for
last.
[Flashback to Date]
Robin: Do you want these? (Holding
up remaining olives from her plate) I hate olives.
[Flashback over.]
Marshall:
She hates olives! Awesome!
Lily: The olive theory.
[Flashback to Date]
Ted: The olive theory is based on
my friends, Marshall and Lily. He hates olives, she loves them. In a weird way
that’s what makes them such a great couple. A Perfect balance (eats olive).
Robin: You know, I’ve had a jar of
olives just sitting in my fridge forever.
Ted: (flirting) I can take them off
your hands.
Robin: (flirting back) they’re all
yours.
[Flashback over]
Marshall:
Oh, it is on! It is on (imitates robot) till the break of dawn.
Lily: wait, it’s only the break of
ten-thirty. What happened?
[Flashback to Walking Robin home]
Robin: I’ve gotta get one of those
blue French horns for over my fireplace. It’s gotta be blue, it’s gotta be
French.
Ted: No Green Clarinet?
Robin: No.
Ted: Come on, no purple tuba?
Robin: It’s a smurf penis, we’re no
dice.
(Metro News 1 Van appears)
Producer: (from inside van) there
you are! We’ve got a jumper! Some crazy guy on the Manhattan Bridge. Come on, you’re covering it!
Robin: Um, alright. I’ll be right
there. (To Ted) I’m sorry. I had a really great time tonight.
Ted: Yeah.
[Flashback Over]
Marshall:
So? Did you kiss her?
Ted: No. The moment wasn’t right.
(They sigh) Look, this woman could be my future wife; I want our first kiss to
be amazing.
Lily: Aww, Ted that’s so sweet. So
you chickened out like the little bitch.
Ted: What? I did not chicken out!
You know what? I don’t need to take first kiss advice from some pirate who
hasn’t been single since the first week of college.
Lily: Ted, anyone who’s single
would tell you the same thing. Even the dumbest single person alive, and if you
don’t believe me…call him.
(Calls Barney)
(Barney’s playing laser tag on the
other end of the line)
Barney: (Phone) Hey loser, how’s
not playing laser tag? Because playing laser tag is awesome! Oh, I
killed you Connor; don’t make me get your mom!
Ted: Hey, listen. I need your
opinion on something.
Barney: Okay, meet me at the bar in
fifteen minutes—AND SUIT UP!
[Slides to Bar Scene]
(Lily, Ted, Barney and Marshall
sitting at a table)
Ted: So these guys think I
chickened out. What do you think?
Barney: I can’t believe you’re
still not wearing a SUIT!
Ted: She didn’t even give me the
signal.
Barney: What is she goanna—is she
goanna bat her eyes at you in Morse code (bats eyes)?? Ted (bats eyes) Kiss
me—No, you just kiss her!
Ted: Not if you don’t get the
signal.
Barney: Ee—(Kisses Marshal) Did Marshall give me the signal?
Marshall:
No! (To Lily) I didn’t, I swear.
Barney: But see—at least, tonight,
I get to sleep knowing, Marshall and Me… never going to happen. You should’ve
kissed her.
Ted: Urgh, I should’ve kissed her.
What about when she gets back from Orlando?
Barney: A week? That’s like—a year
in hot girl time. She’ll forget all about you. Mark my words: you will never
see that one again.
(notices Robin on Metro News 1 On
TV)
Ted: There she is…
Lily: Ooo. She’s cute! (To Carl)
Hey Carl, turn it up!
Robin: (on TV) …persuaded him to
reconsider at which point the man came down off the ledge, giving this bizarre
story a happy ending. Reporting from
Marshall:
Huh, guy didn’t jump
Robin: (on TV) Metro One News, back
to you bill.
Ted: I’m goanna go kiss her. Right
now.
Marshall: Oh—Dude,
it’s midnight. As your future lawyer I’m goanna advise you: that’s freakin’
crazy!
Ted: I never do anything
crazy! I’m always waiting for the moment! Planning the moment! Well she’s
leaving tomorrow this may be the only moment I’m goanna get! I gotta do what
that guy couldn’t, I gotta take the leap! Okay not a perfect metaphor,
for me it’s fall in love and get married—for him it’s… death.
Barney: Actually, that is a
perfect metaphor. By the way, did I congratulate you two? (Raises glass to Lily
and Marshall)
Ted: I’m doing this. (Starts to
leave)
Lily: Let’s go (pulls Marshall up)
Marshall:
Word up!
Lily: We’re coming with you.
Ted:…Barney?
Barney: Alright, but under one
condition.
[Cut to Scene in Taxicab]
Barney: (happy) look at you, you
beautiful bastard, you suited up! This is totally going in my
blog!
Ted: (To Ranjit—Cabdriver) Stop the
car. Uh—pull over right here. I gotta do something.
(Runs into the bistro he was in on
his date with Robin climbs on peoples table)
Ted: Excuse me, pardon me. (grabs
the Blue French Horn) Enjoy your coffee. (Runs away)
Waitor: Hey, HEY!
(Jumps back into the taxicab)
Ted: go, go, GO! (looks to his
friends. Shrugs) Everybody brings flowers.
[Fade out]
-----
Scene Seven
(Taxicab)
Ted: (Exhales) Okay. Moment of
truth. Wish me luck. (Exhales)
Barney: Ted’s goanna get it on with
a TV reporter (nods. Laughs.) This just in. Okay (holds hand up for
high-fives)
Lily: Kiss her, Ted. Kiss her good.
Marshall:
Kiss the crap out of that girl
Ted: Marshall, remember this night.
When you’re the best man at our wedding and you give a speech, you’re goanna
tell this story. (exits cab)
Barney: Why does he get to be the
best man? (Shouts out) I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND!
Narrator: As I walked up to that
door a million thoughts raced through my mind. Unfortunately, one particular
thought did not.
[Flashback to Date]
Robin: I’ve got five dogs.
[Flashback Ends]
(Ted presses the buzzer, dogs begin
to bark. Walks down the steps back toward the cab)
Ted: Not good, not good, not good,
not good.
Lily: No!
Marshall:
Go back in there!
Barney: You’re wearing a suit!
(Ted walks back toward the door)
Robin: (from window) Ted?
Ted: Hi! (Silence) I was
just uh—(hold up Smurf Penis, aka French Horn)
Robin: Come on up.
(Ted enters)
[In the Cab]
Marshall:
He’s in.
Barney: So, (looks to the
cabdriver) Ranjit… you must’ve done it with a Lebanese girl.
Lily: Okay—that’s my Barney Limit.
(Starts to leave the cab) I’m goanna see if that Bodega has a bathroom.
(Leaves)
Ranjit: Actually, I’m from Bangladesh.
Barney: The women hot there?
Ranjit: Here’s a picture of my
wife! (Shows picture)
Barney: (Whispers to Marshall) Simple no would have sufficed. (To Ranjit) She’s lovely.
[Cut to Robin’s Apartment]
Robin: So, Ted. What brings you
back to Brooklyn at one in the morning in a—suit.
Ted: I was just hoping to get those
olives… that you said I could have.
Robin: Would you like those olives
with some Gin and Vermouth?
Ted: Are you trying to get me
drunk?
Robin: For starters (turns music on.
Leaves to the kitchen)
Ted: (Looks up and mouths) Thank
you.
[Cut to the Cab]
Barney: So, Marshall. This “Olive
Theory” based on you and Lily?
Marshall:
Yeah…
Barney: You hate olives?
Lily loves them, you can’t stand them.
Marshall:
Yeah, hate olives.
Barney: Two weeks ago, Spanish bar
on 79th Street, dish of olives—you had some. What up?
Marshall:
(looks around for sign of Lily) You have to swear that this does not leave this
cab.
Barney: I swear.
Ranjit: (Cuts into conversation) I
swear.
Marshall:
On our first date, I ordered a Greek salad; Lily asked if she could have my
olives. I said, “Sure… I hate olives.”
Barney: But you like olives!
Marshall:
Well, I was eighteen, okay? I was a virgin. Been waiting for my whole life for
a pretty girl to want my olives.
Barney: Marshall, I’m going to get
you an early wedding present. Don’t get married.
[Cut to Robin’s Apartment]
(Robin and Ted are dancing, all
five dogs are watching)
Robin: I think I like your “Olive
Theory”.
Ted: I think I like your French
Horn.
Robin: I think I like your nose.
Ted: I think I’m in love with you.
[Cut to the bar]
(After Ted tells them the story)
Lily, Marshall and Barney: What?
[Cut to the year 2030.]
Son and Daughter: What?
[Cut to Robin’s Apartment]
Robin: What?
[Cut to the Cab]
Barney: Come on man, you said your
stomach’s been hurting, right? You know what that is! Hunger. You’re hungry for
experience. Hungry for something new. Hungry for olives. But you’re too scared
to do anything about it.
Marshall:
Yeah, I’m scared, okay? But when I think about spending the rest of my life
with Lily… committing forever, no other women (Lily appears behind Marshall in the open window) doesn’t scare me at all. I’m marrying that girl. (Lily pops
her head in from the window. Marshall turns around) Lily. Lily, I like olives.
Lily: We’ll make it work. (They
kiss.)
Ranjit: aww.
[Cut to Robin’s Apartment]
(Long Silence)
Ted: So Orlando, you goanna hit
Disney World?
Robin: You love me?
Ted: Oh, god, I can’t believe I
said that. Why did I say that? Who says that? I should just go. (Gets up)
Robin: Hold on. (Gets up) Wait a
minute. (Hands him Olives) Promised you these.
Ted: Olives. Thanks. I love you.
What’s wrong with me?
[Cut to cab]
Barney: Why are we still sitting
here? Let’s go! We can still make last call. What do you say Lil? (Pirate
Accent) Yo, ho ho and a bottle o’ rum? (Silence) ‘Cuz you’re a pirate…
Lily: Okay, eye patch gone—(takes
eye patch off and throws it at Barney) And we can’t just abandon Ted. If it
doesn’t go well up there he’s gonna need some support.
Marshall:
It’s been like twenty minutes. You think they’re doin’ it?
Barney: You think they’re doing it
in front of the dogs?
Marshall:
Doggie style. (Laughs)
Barney: I had this girl in college;
she had a golden retriever—
Lily: Okay, we can go to the bar,
just stop talking.
Barney: Hit it Ranjit. (They drive
off)
(Ted and Robin come out the door)
Ted: So when you tell this story to
your friends, could you avoid the word “psycho”? I prefer…eccentric.
Robin: Good night, psycho (smiles).
(Ted sarcastically clutches heart. Realizes friends left him)
Ted: Great (before Robin closes the
door) Umm… how do I get to the F Train?
Robin: Oh, um—two blocks (comes
out) that way (points) and take a right.
Ted: (upset/tired) Thanks. (Walks
down the steps. Robin begins to walk in) You know what? (Robin stops. Ted turns
around). I’m done being single. I’m not good at it. Look, obviously you can’t
tell a woman you just met you love her. But… it sucks that you can’t. I’ll tell
you something though, if a woman—not you… just some hypothetical woman—were to
bare with me through all this. I think I’d make a damn good husband. Because
that’s the stuff I’d be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good
father… and walking her five hypothetical dogs. Being a good kisser.
Robin: Everyone thinks they’re a
good kisser.
Ted: Oh, I’ve got references.
Robin: Good night, Ted. (Shake
hands.)
Ted: And I’m a good hand shaker
Robin: that’s a pretty great hand
shake. (Looks him in the eyes)
[Cut to later at the bar]
Ted: And that was it, probably
never see her again. (Silence) What?
Marshall: That
was the signal!
Lily: That long lingering
handshake—you should’ve kissed her!
Barney: There’s no such thing as
the signal. But yeah—that was the signal.
(Ranjit appears)
Rangit: Signal (nods)
Marshal: Ah, Carl thank you. Something
I gotta do.
Carl: By the way, you should’ve
kissed her.
Ted: Carl!? (turns to friends) You
guys weren’t there.
(Marshall Pops cork without
injuring anyone)
Lily: I am so turned on right now.
Ted: Guys, trust me. I’ve seen the
signal. That was not the signal.
Barney: Yeah Ted, we’re not on you
anymore.
Marshall:
(Toasting) To my fiancé!
Lily: (smiles) to the future!
Ranjit: To one hell of a night!
Ted: That was not the signal!
(Scene pans out)
Narrator: I asked her about it
years later, and yeah, that was the signal. I could’ve kissed her. But
that’s the funny thing about destiny.
[Flashback to Robin Throwing Drink
in Ted’s face]
Narrator: … it happens whether you
plan it or not. I mean I…
[Flashback to Robin laughing at
Ted’s “Smurf Penis” joke]
Narrator: … never thought I’d see
that girl again. But it…
[Flashback to Robin looking down at
Ted from her apartment window]
Narrator: …turns out, I was just
too close…
[Flashback to Robin and Ted
dancing]
Narrator: …to the puzzle to see the
picture that was forming. Because that kids…
[Cut to year 2030. Kids intently
listening keenly interested]
Narrator: …is the true story, of
how I met your Aunt Robin.
Son: Aunt Robin?
Daughter: I thought this was about
how you met mom!
Narrator: Will you relax? I’m
getting to it. (Son and daughter sit back unpleased) like I said:
[Cut to panning out at the bar]
Narrator: …it’s a long story.
[Fades out]
 
END OF EPISODE
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