HOUSE, M.D.
1X18: BABIES & BATHWATER
Original Airdate on FOX: April 19, 2005
Written by Peter Blake & Dave Shore and Directed by Bill Johnson
Transcript written by Mari.
Archived at TWIZ TV.COM with permission from House: Transcripts and More!
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[Opens on a car driving down a
town/city road at night. Naomi Randolph, a pregnant woman, is driving her
husband Sean home from a party.]
Sean: Did I say anything stupid?
[Naomi smiles.] I had two drinks! [Naomi looks at him.] Three! [She looks
at him again.] Okay, there was that last one.
Naomi: That’s okay, some day
you’ll be pregnant and you can return the favor.
Sean: I feel like such an idiot
sometimes.
Naomi: Oh!
Sean: You know, when the baby
comes –
Naomi: You know what? You are
going to be so great. You are. [He gives her a kiss on the cheek, and CGI
time! We see the neurons of her brain going off like fireworks, Naomi’s head
lolls back, and the car swerves to the other side of the road.]
Sean: Hey! [Sean grabs the wheel
and pulls the car over to a parking space. Naomi wakes up.]
Naomi: Oh.
Sean: You all right?
Naomi: Uh, uh huh. [Sirens are
heard behind them.] Oh, no. [The officer walks up.]
Officer: You know why I pulled you
over?
Naomi: I - I’m so sorry, Officer,
I must have, uh, dozed off.
Officer: Have you been drinking?
Naomi: No.
Sean: Of course she hasn’t.
Officer: Somebody has.
Sean: I’ve been drinking. [to
Naomi] You all right?
Naomi: I, I’m not, I, uh –
Officer: How far along are you?
Naomi: Uh, almost, um –
Officer: Ma’am, step out of the
vehicle. [Naomi gets out of the car.] Ma’am, walk to the rear of the car.
[Naomi starts to do so, looking very dazed.]
Sean: Naomi, are you… Naomi?
[Sean gets out of the car.] Naomi –
Officer: Sir, remain in the car!
Sean: Hey, listen, she’s not
drunk, all right?
Officer: I will arrest you, sir.
Sean: She’s sick!
Officer: [into com] Badge 302,
could you roll me another unit?
Sean: She’s not looking –
Officer: Get back in the car.
[Officer pushes Sean against the car; at that moment, Naomi collapses.]
Sean: Naomi! [He rushes to her.]
Call an ambulance!
[Opening credits.]
[Cut to Foreman looking at an MRI
of Naomi’s brain.]
Foreman: Well, the good news is,
it doesn’t look like a stroke. No bleeds, no clots.
Sean: Thank God.
Naomi: It sounds like there’s bad
news.
Foreman: We got your blood work
back. Some things are a little off. Your liver and kidneys aren’t working so
well.
Sean: Why, what would cause that?
Naomi: It’s preeclampsia, isn’t
it? I’m gonna miscarry, aren’t I?
Foreman: Preeclampsia is a
possibility, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Naomi: I’ve miscarried three
times, I’m 39, we had to use in vitro, you’ve gotta make sure that the baby’s
okay –
Sean: Let’s make sure that you’re
okay, first.
Foreman: How about we take care of
both of you at the same time. The nurse will be in soon to draw some blood;
I’d like to run some more tests.
Naomi: Thank you, Doctor.
Sean: Thank you.
[Foreman leaves, and walks up to
Chase, who is at the desk.]
Chase: Where is everybody?
Foreman: No one’s in the office?
Chase: No, haven’t heard from
Cameron all day. You seen House?
Foreman: Heh. Look for a shallow
grave with Vogler standing over it.
[Cut to House at his desk. Vogler
is sitting across from him. Both look very solemn.]
House: You have a Stage 4 cancer.
It’s metastasized to your liver. [Vogler looks shocked.] There’s a new drug
called 8C 12 that’s shown promise in Phase 2 trials. It’s your best shot.
Vogler: Thank you, Doctor. You’ve
been so good to me.
House: Well, I did publicly bash
your company’s drug.
Vogler: When I think about how I
treated you…
House: Oh, hey, come on. [House
gets up and walks to behind Vogler, sans cane and limp. He rests his hands on
Vogler’s shoulders.] There, there, there. [Vogler sniffles.]
Vogler: So, um, there is some
hope?
House: Always. But just in case,
I special-order an extra jumbo-size coffin.
Vogler: Hey!
House: Don’t thank me. It’s just
who I am.
Foreman’s voice: Hey!
[Cut to a clinic room. House
wakes up; he was sleeping on one of the clinic beds.]
Foreman: Up and at ‘em, big guy. [House
blinks and rubs his eyes.]
House: Sorry, up late. Internet
porn.
Chase: How come you’re not in your
office?
House: Because there is a computer
in my office. If I log on, romance will ensue. My wrist might fall off.
Foreman: Hiding because Vogler’s
looking for you. That’s just pathetic.
House: I don’t like loud, angry
giants threatening me with violence. How is that pathetic?
Chase: You think you can avoid
firing one of us by hiding out here? He’ll find you sooner or later.
House: [getting a drink] I’m okay
with later.
Foreman: [holds out chart]
39-year-old female, 28 weeks pregnant, G 4, P 0.
House: Three miscarriages?
Gimme. [takes the file]
Foreman: Altered mental status and
complete loss of coordination.
House: Tox screen?
Foreman: Negative for alcohol and
drugs. She was on oxybutynin.
House: For incontinence.
Foreman: We took her off, but no
change. BUN, creatinine are up, LFT slightly elevated.
Chase: Preeclampsia. Call the OB-GYN
service and rub some prayer beads.
Foreman: BP’s normal; no
preeclampsia in other pregnancies.
Chase: Because she didn’t carry
long enough.
Foreman: The three miscarriages
make me think it’s an underlying physiology.
House: Pregnancy-related
autoimmunity. Too bad that Cameron quit, I could use an immunologist right
now. We’ll see if you’re right; check the blood.
Foreman: Cameron quit?
House: Last night. And do an MRA
for vasculitis, too.
Foreman: There is no way she
quit! She got fired because you couldn’t swallow your pride!
House: An ultrasound? Excellent
thought! And put her on magnesium, too, in case it is preeclampsia. [He takes
a Vicodin.]
Chase: Sure. [He leaves, and
Foreman follows him out.]
[Cut to Chase and Foreman standing
in the elevator.]
Foreman: Here, pussy, pussy,
pussy.
Chase: I didn’t do anything.
Foreman: Exactly my point.
Chase: You wanted me to yell at
him? [They walk out, still talking.] What the hell would that have achieved?
What, is he going to jump into his time machine and fix everything?
Foreman: When a dog dumps on the
floor, do you pat its head and call it a genius? No, you smack it in the nose
with a newspaper!
Chase: Dogs can learn things,
House can’t.
Foreman: Coward.
Chase: Child. [They both plaster
smiles on their faces as they reach Naomi’s room and open the door.]
Foreman: Hey, there! I brought my
colleague along to help out.
Chase: Hi, I’m Dr. Chase.
Naomi: Hi.
[Cut to Chase performing the ultrasound
on Naomi. Everything looks good on the screen.]
Chase: Well, ultrasound looks
good. No sign of fetal distress.
Naomi: So it’s not preeclampsia?
Chase: Well, it still could be,
but it hasn’t progressed, at least. We’re gonna put you on bed rest and
monitor the baby.
Naomi: Okay. [She takes some food
from her tray and eats it.]
Chase: We’ll give you some
potassium and magnesium as well. So, we should keep the fluids running for now
and check her again in an hour unless there are signs of fetal distress or –
[Naomi begins to choke.]
Sean: Honey? Wha – uh, she’s
choking!
Foreman: Lean forward.
Sean: What is, is she all right?
Foreman: It’s probably just some
muscle weakness. [They put Naomi on her back, and Foreman starts to remove the
offending food with tweezers.]
Sean: What do you mean, probably?
Foreman: Naomi, open up.
Chase: People choke, it could be
nothing. [Foreman gets the piece of pear that was lodged in Naomi’s throat.]
You all right?
Naomi: I can’t, I can’t, I can’t
even swallow.
[Cut to the clinic, where House is
looking at a baby. Her parents, Rachel and Joel, are standing close by.]
Joel: She gets sick a lot but
this, this cold got really bad all of a sudden. And the fever… [to the baby]
Shhhh, it’s okay.
House: It’s not a cold. [hands
the baby back to Rachel] It’s pneumonia.
Rachel: Pneumonia?
House: Relax, pneumonia’s her
second-biggest problem. She has gone from the twenty-fifth weight percentile
to the third in one month. Now, I’m not a baby expert but I’m pretty sure
they’re not supposed to shrink.
Rachel: Well, there’s this diet we
put her on when we stopped breastfeeding –
Joel: But it’s healthy, raw food.
We’re vegans. Almond milk, tofu, vegetables…
House: Raw food. If only her
ancestors had mastered the secret of fire. Babies need fat, proteins,
calories. Less important: sprouts and hemp. Starving babies is bad, and
illegal in many cultures. I’m having her admitted.
Rachel: Is she gonna be all right?
House: Antibiotics for the
pneumonia, IV feeding to get the weight up. Don’t worry, it’s a vegan IV.
[Cut to Naomi in the MRI machine.]
Chase: Don’t see any signs of
vasculitis. Odd, since you’re always right about everything.
Foreman: Could be a different
auto-immunity. Or you could bite me.
Naomi: Oh, no.
Chase: Naomi, you okay?
Naomi: I’m getting cramps.
[Foreman and Chase rush out to her.]
Foreman: Strong?
Naomi: Yeah. Feels like my
miscarriage.
Chase: It’s preterm labor.
Naomi: He’s too little, he won’t
survive!
Foreman: She’s on magnesium
already.
Chase: Fuse interbutoline, then.
We’re going to give you some medicine, okay? Try to stop your labor.
Naomi: Okay. [They inject her
with the medication.]
[Cut to House, peeking into his
office. Seeing no Vogler, he walks in and looks at the papers on his desk. He
turns to leave, and…]
House: Whoa! [Vogler is standing
right in front of him, and he doesn’t look happy.] There you are, I’ve been
looking everywhere for you. Uh, listen, you said I had to cut one of my people
if I didn’t give that speech about your drug, and in fairness to your point of
view, my speech really wasn’t the one you had in mind, so I’ve cut Cameron.
Now we’re all squared away, right?
Vogler: In the morning, I expect
you in my office with your letter of resignation and plans for a public
apology, otherwise I’ll destroy you. [House looks a little shocked as Vogler
walks off.]
House: So that’s a ‘no’ on us
being squared away.
[Cut to House, Foreman and Chase
in the Diagnostic office.]
Chase: She might make it to full
term. Contractions are less frequent and not well organized.
Foreman: [to House, who is
rummaging through the cabinets] Great to see you back in the office. I guess
Vogler found you?
House: Yeah, we had a nice little
chat. I really should have kept Cameron. She knew where to find the sugar.
Chase: It’s what I said.
Preeclampsia. A little stress from the MRA, she pops straight into labor.
House: Ah ha! [He shakes a packet
of sugar triumphantly.]
Foreman: What about the
myasthenia?
Chase: Come on, she didn’t seem
that weak.
Foreman: She choked, she couldn’t
even swallow.
House: What did she choke on?
Foreman: Her food. The muscle
weakness isn’t a symptom of preeclampsia.
House: What kind of food?
Foreman: A little bit of cooked
pear, it doesn’t matter! It shows weakness.
House: She choked on soft, wet
pear. Did she forget to take the bones out? That’s way past muscle weakness.
Did you do an upper endoscopy?
Chase: You think there’s something
obstructing her esophagus? [Wilson enters.]
Wilson: We’ve gotta talk.
House: Oooh. We’ve gotta talk.
[as he leaves] And check her eyelids.
Foreman: Check her eyelids?
[Cut to House and Wilson walking
down the hallway.]
Wilson: Special board meeting
today, only one item on the agenda: you.
House: Well, enjoy the bagels.
I’m untouchable.
Wilson: Huh. Right.
House: Any vote to revoke my
tenure has to be unanimous. I’ve got you and maybe even Cuddy.
Wilson: Oh, well that settles it.
Mr. Ruthless Corporate Raider will be stymied, go home, curl up on the floor of
his shower and weep.
House: What can he do? I’ve got a
contract.
Wilson: Does it say how much your
team gets paid? Where your parking space is? If your car should be filled
with horse manure? Vogler’s smart; he’s got some plan to get you.
House: Does it involve candy?
Because I’m a sucker for chocolates. [Wilson gives him a look and walks away,
House takes a Vicodin or two.]
[Cut to House checking in on the
Kaplan baby.]
House: She’s doing better.
Rachel: Oh, thank God.
House: Technically, Alexander
Fleming. He developed antibiotics. Pneumonia’s under control, and from now
on, what say you stick with human food.
Joel: Absolutely, swear to God.
House: This time, that’s your guy.
[House stars to leave, but is blocked by a bunch of people entering the room,
including police officers.]
Ms. Friedman: Rachel and Joel
Kaplan?
Rachel: Yes?
Officer: You’re under arrest. You
have the right to remain silent…
Joel: What did we do?
Ms. Friedman: You’re being charged
with child endangerment.
Rachel: What? How? We –
Ms. Friedman: Starving your kid.
I’m from Social Services, we’re taking responsibility for your baby. [They all
leave, leaving House standing there.]
[Cut to Cuddy’s office, where
House storms in, quite upset.]
House: This is how Vogler’s gonna
destroy me?
Cuddy: What did he do, grease your
cane?
House: He had my patients
arrested.
Cuddy: He didn’t, I did. The
nurses were concerned and they called me. There was evidence of abuse; you
took a big legal risk by not calling Social Services.
House: Those parents were not
abusive, they’re idiots.
Cuddy: Oh, well that’s certainly a
relief.
House: It was my call.
Cuddy: You made the wrong one.
House: You know, there’s a new
biography of Quisling, I think you might like it.
Cuddy: Sure. No idea who that is.
House: Uh, Norwegian guy, World
War II, traitor. The fact that I have to explain this kind of takes the edge
off my flow.
Cuddy: I was protecting you.
House: From what? Cops aren’t
gonna bust me. Disiplinary committee maybe gives me a slap on the wrist.
Cuddy: And Vogler has an excuse to
get rid of you.
House: If I don’t give him one, he
makes one up.
Cuddy: Vogler’s just one vote;
he’s gotta convince the other eleven of us. I’m just trying to stop you from
making that extra easy. [House leaves.]
[Cut to Foreman and Chase
examining Naomi.]
Foreman: Sean, do your wife’s
eyelids look any different than usual?
Sean: Um, maybe one is drooping a
little bit, but you know, she’s tired, so…
Chase: Naomi, can you open your
mouth for me and tilt your head back? This is gonna be a little
uncomfortable. [He inserts the scope into her throat, and we see that there is
a lump in her throat.] Yeah, there’s swelling, indenting the esophagus.
Sean: Is that why she choked?
Foreman: We’ll need to do an
x-ray.
Naomi: What? No, the baby – you
said no x-rays.
Foreman: It’s important.
[Cut to Wilson looking at the
x-rays.]
Wilson: Three centimeter mass in
her right upper lobe.
Foreman: Maybe it’s a granuloma.
House: No. There’s no
calcification.
[Cut to Wilson talking to Naomi
and Sean.]
Wilson: It’s small-cell lung
cancer. The tumor’s starting to press against your esophagus. It hasn’t
metastasized, but it has spread to other parts of your lungs so we can’t
operate.
Sean: Wait, that doesn’t make
sense. She had kidney failure and brain problems…
Wilson: Some cancer patients get
what are called paraneoplastic syndromes. You were making antibodies to fight
the tumor. It attacked other cells: your brain first, then your liver,
kidneys… even the nerves that control your eyelids. That’s called
Lambert-Eaton syndrome, it told us the tumor was in the lungs.
Naomi: How bad is it?
Wilson: Small-cell is the most
aggressive kind of lung cancer. The five-year survival rate is only about ten
to fifteen percent, which is why we need to start you on chemo and radiation
right away.
Naomi: Not radiation, what about
the baby?
Wilson: You’ll need a C-section
before you can start the treatment; I can get you in first thing tomorrow
morning.
Naomi: What are the chances my
baby will survive?
Wilson: Pretty good. Twenty-eight
weeks, so about eighty percent.
Naomi: No, wait, that’s one in
five chance he’ll die?
Wilson: I really wouldn’t advise
waiting.
Sean: Naomi, you’ve got to start
this treatment right away –
Naomi: What happens if I wait?
Wilson: Twenty-nine weeks,
survival rate is closer to ninety percent.
Naomi: I’m not doing the
radiation.
Sean: You’ll die –
Naomi: Listen, you know the chances,
they’re nothing, but a few more weeks will save the baby.
Sean: Listen, you’re depressed
right now, and you’re not thinking right.
Naomi: Sweetie –
Sean: [to Wilson] Could you just,
tell her, please?
Wilson: This cancer moves quick.
The median survival’s two to four months. If you postpone, even for a week…
Naomi: I’m sorry, honey. [Sean
looks broken.]
[Cut to the board room, where
everyone is gathered, sans Wilson.]
Vogler: As most of you know,
Gregory House recently gave a speech about me. [Wilson enters.] I’d like to
return the favor.
Wilson: [sitting] Sorry.
Vogler: Dr. Wilson. I was hoping
you were going to miss this one. A man is the sum of his actions. Here are a
few of Dr. House’s. He violated a DNR and was charged with assault. He
brought a termite into the OR and spat on a surgeon. He accepted a Corvette
from a patient who was a known member of the New Jersey mafia.
Dr. Simpson: Ed, look –
Vogler: Edward.
Dr. Simpson: Edward. You look at
anyone’s career, you can find things that are –
Vogler: These are the last three
months. He’s personally had more complaints filed against him than any
department in this hospital.
Wilson: Okay, he’s screwed up.
He’s miserable, and he should probably reread the Ethics Code, but it works for
him. He’s saved hundreds of lives.
Vogler: He is a drug addict who
flaunts his addiction and refuses to get treatment. He is a disgrace and an
embarrassment to this hospital. I’d go on, but it gets kinda mean, so I’m
gonna keep this simple. House goes, or I go.
Cuddy: You shouldn’t personalize
this.
Vogler: And by I, I mean my $100
million. How’s that for personalizing?
Cuddy: You gave us that money for
a reason. Are you really willing to throw it all away because of one doctor?
Vogler: Gregory House is a symbol
of everything wrong with the healthcare industry. Waste, insubordination,
doctors preening like they’re kings and the hospital their own private
fiefdom. Healthcare is a business, I’m gonna run it like one. I hereby move
to revoke the tenure of Dr. Gregory House and terminate his employment at this
hospital, effective immediately.
Female Doctor: Don’t you think we
should discuss this –
Vogler: We just did.
Cuddy: We need time.
Vogler: The vote is on the table.
All in favor? [There is silence in the boardroom. Awkward pauses ensue, until
one doctor on Vogler’s right raises his hand. All of the rest of the hands in
the room quickly go up, except for Cuddy’s and Wilson’s. Cuddy stares at
Vogler, who stares back, and she sighs and raises her hand, which leaves…] Dr.
Wilson?
Wilson: Opposed?
Vogler: The motion is defeated.
Dr. Wilson, would you mind leaving the room, please?
Wilson: Excuse me?
Vogler: We’re gonna take another
vote.
Wilson: Well, first of all, you
can’t void my vote by making me stand in the hallway. And second, you should
check the by-laws. You need notice and at least one business day before you
can reconsider any matter.
Vogler: We’re voting on a different
matter which you are… conflicted out of.
Wilson: How can I be conflicted?
Vogler: This vote is whether to
dismiss Dr. James Wilson. [Wilson, a little annoyed, leaves.]
[Cut to House, Foreman and Chase
in House’s office.]
Chase: Naomi is refusing to have
the C-section. Her odds aren’t good enough.
House: They do suck. Where’s
Wilson?
Foreman: Paged him twice.
Chase: She does this, she knows
she’s gonna die.
Foreman: She’s saving her child. Cameron
would point out that people are capable of sacrifice.
House: Cameron isn’t here.
Foreman: Perhaps proving her
point.
House: You think this woman is
making a rational decision?
Foreman: I think people can
overcome their baser drives.
House: Pretty damn rarely. And
not this time, this is purely biological. In evolutionary terms, the needs of
the next generation are more important.
Chase: You’re saying she’s making
the right call?
House: Darwin is, I’m not. The
next generation is not my patient. We have to raise the odds for Mommy. And
where the hell is Wilson? He’s the oncologist. [He leaves.]
Foreman: Good plan, cure cancer.
Surprised no one ever thought of that before.
[Cut to House leaving his office.
Joel and Rachel run up to him.]
Rachel: [to Joel] There he is.
Dr. House!
House: You guys bust out?
Joel: We made bail. They won’t
let us in our baby’s room.
House: Weird. You’d think they’d
let you take her home while they figured out if you tried to kill her.
Joel: We’re good parents, we fed
her whenever she was hungry.
Rachel: Big meals. We had no idea
that diet was so bad for her.
Joel: The nutritionist said it had
everything she needed!
House: The kid who stacks the
free-range grapefruit in your health food store is not a nutritionist.
Rachel: But my uncle is. He went
to college and everything. [House looks at them, and then picks up the phone
at the desk.]
House: Foreman, I need a CT scan
on…
Joel: Olive Kaplan.
House: Seriously? [Joel nods
proudly.] Olive Kaplan. Check for abscesses or occult infections. [He hangs
up; to the Kaplans] Bu-bye.
[Cut to House, walking into
Wilson’s office.]
House: Listen, Vogler’s all about clinical
trials, the hospital’s chock full of them. There’s got to be something for
small-cell lung cancer. [House notices that Wilson is packing his stuff in
boxes.] What are you doing?
Wilson: I got sacked.
House: Did you make a pass at
Cuddy? Told you, she only has thighs for me.
Wilson: I voted to keep you.
House: So he’s getting rid of
every board member who votes to keep me around?
Wilson: Yeah, every one of us.
House: Just you?
Wilson: Yeah.
House: But you’re only off the
board, right? They couldn’t have got unanimous approval for you.
Wilson: Brown from Oncology voted
no, so did Cuddy, Taylor and Peevey.
House: Eh, so you’re off the
board, big deal. Frees up Wednesday nights for bowling. You’re still a doctor
–
Wilson: Yeah, getting dumped looks
great in Who’s Who. Vogler gave me the option of resigning, and I took it.
House: Big of him.
Wilson: I’ve got no kids, my
marriage sucks; I’ve only got two things that work for me: this job and this
stupid, screwed-up friendship, and neither mattered enough to you to give one
lousy speech.
House: [quietly] They mattered.
If I could do it all again –
Wilson: You’d do the same thing.
Well, you’ll be gone soon, too.
House: Those clinical trials?
Wilson: I’ll make some calls.
[takes the chart]
House: Thanks.
[Cut to Cuddy, doing a prostate
exam on a patient in the clinic.]
Cuddy: It’s not cancer.
Patient: It’s not gonna kill me?
Cuddy: It’s hemorrhoids.
Patient: But all that blood… that
can’t be right?
Cuddy: Looks worse than it is.
[House walks in.]
House: Nice job of protecting me.
Cuddy: Can this wait?
House: His ass can wait. You
saved my job by sacking Wilson?
Cuddy: What did you think would
happen when you made that speech? You think he would just pout for a little
while and we’d all forgive you? You don’t spit on the man who signs your
paycheck. First Cameron, then Wilson – you’re next. [to patient] Pull your
pants up.
House: So it’s about the money.
Cuddy: Of course it’s about the
money. The money Vogler gave, he could have bought a few jets, maybe a
baseball team, or just stuck it in Chase Manhattan and collected interested.
But he gave it to us to buy equipment, to do research! You are a great doctor,
House, but you are not worth $100 million.
[Cut to House talking to Dr.
Prather, the oncologist running the trial.]
House: We’ve sequenced the DNA of
the tumor cells. P53 gene mutation and codon 55. She’s perfect for your trial.
Prather: She’s pretty far
advanced.
House: Well, you want easy cases,
you picked the wrong speciality.
Prather: Otherwise in good health?
House: Excellent.
Prather: When can she start?
House: Middle of next week.
Prather: Cancer’s already stage 3,
it’d be a waste of time.
House: She can start in two days.
[Cut to House walking to Naomi’s
room with Foreman and Chase.]
Foreman: She can’t start in two
days! She’s pregnant!
House: She won’t be in two days.
I’ve scheduled a C-section.
Chase: She’d still have to wait a
month. You can’t take part in an trials until 30 days after major sugery.
House: Well, it’s definitely
surgery, but major?
Foreman: It’s not your call.
House: Again, a question of
interpretation.
Chase: You’re scamming a doctor,
now? Come on, Vogler’s looking for any excuse to can you.
House: Oh, I think he’s got a big
bag of those already.
Foreman: These regulations aren’t
just here to annoy you, okay? Doing this is dangerous to the patient.
House: Well, I’ll be sure to let
her know that. Care to join me?
[Cut to House talking to Naomi and
Sean.]
House: Angiogenesis inhibitors
prevent the tumors from creating blood vessels. Without blood, the tumor
starves.
Sean: That sounds great –
Naomi: What about the baby?
House: The treatment would be
fatal to the baby. I’ve scheduled a C-section for later this afternoon. It’s
in the trial phase right now, but so far complete remission in more than thirty
percent of subjects.
Naomi: I told Dr. Foreman I didn’t
want a C-section.
House: When your chances of living
were less than a third of what they are now.
Naomi: Well, the baby’s premature,
that –
House: Our pediatrics department
has the best neonatal ICU in the state.
Naomi: No, his lungs, his brain,
he’s not ready.
Sean: And he could be fine!
Naomi: You don’t know what it’s
like, raising a sick child! [House looks up, interested.]
Sean: His odds are much better
than yours are. You have to let them at least try this. [to House] Talk to
her.
House: Okay. Leave the room.
[Sean does so.] How long have you been taking oxybutynin?
Naomi: Uh, since I was about
twenty.
House: Incontinence is pretty
uncommon in a woman of your age. It’s even more bizarre in a woman in her
twenties.
Naomi: I guess I haven’t had the
best luck when it comes to my health.
House: Seems that way. You said
to your husband, “You don’t know what it’s like, raising a sick child.” You
didn’t say, “You don’t know what it would be like.” This is not your first
child, is it? And he doesn’t know.
Naomi: I was eighteen. Got
pregnant, got married. I had the most beautiful little girl, Grace. She had
infantile Alexander’s disease.
House: I’m sorry.
Naomi: For two years we watched
her die. My husband was, uh, my first husband was a, a great guy, but after
that I couldn’t even look at him without thinking of her. I left him, I left
my job, I left everthing –
House: Very moving story.
Explains why you’re being so selfish.
Naomi: I’m willing to die to
protect my husband.
House: Because it’s what you
want. Your husband wants you to live.
Naomi: Well, he doesn’t
understand…
House: Oh, who the hell does?
Tragedies happen. You think that turning yourself into a disposable incubator
for a few weeks is going to protect your baby from all the crap in this world,
go ahead, die happy. I got no problems with people killing themselves, but
don’t think it makes you a hero.
Naomi: [crying] Okay.
House: You’re scheduled for 4 P.M.
[Cut to the OR. Dr. Lim is
getting ready for the surgery, but a nurse has a phone up to his ear.]
Lim: Yes, this is Dr. Lim. [The
nurses are talking about various happenings, and the anesthesiologist begins to
put Naomi under.]
Anesthesiologist: Count down from
ten.
Naomi: Okay. Ten… nine… eight…
Sean: That seemed kind of fast, is
she all right?
Anesthesiologist: She’s fine.
Lim: Wake her up. That was
Vogler; surgery’s off.
[Cut to Vogler, walking down the
stairs into the lobby. House comes out of the elevator and starts YELLING.]
House: HEY! You’re killing her!
Vogler: Really? See, I thought
you were the one trying to ram her into a drug trial five minutes after surgery
–
House: She knows the risks, she
was fully informed –
Vogler: Well, the guy running the
study sure wasn’t.
House: Not his life, not his call!
Vogler: His study, his call!
[Cuddy comes out of the clinic to watch.]
House: Right, so she kicks off,
his number look bad.
Vogler: The numbers look bad, the
study looks bad!
House: Which would cost you money!
Vogler: And keep a life-saving
protocol off the market!
House: One person, one blip in the
data!
Vogler: You ever heard of the
FDA? They eat blips for breakfast! One person should never endanger
thousands!
House: Well, thank God you were
here to save all those lives! [Vogler pauses, breathes, laughs, and shakes a
finger at House.]
Vogler: The board’s meeting again
this evening. Why don’t you settle down? Play some Game Boy. Why don’t you
watch your soap? I hear they’re firing the handsome doctor today, boy, that
should be a good one. [He walks off. House glares at Cuddy before he leaves.]
[Cut to Foreman and Chase in
Naomi’s room.]
Sean: If we had the C-section
anyway, we could still do the experimental treatment, right? We’d just have to
wait thirty days.
Chase: Assuming the doctor running
the trial isn’t too pissed off to let her in, yeah.
Naomi: And assuming I’m even
healthy enough to – [She gasps, grabs Foreman, and the monitors all start to
beep.]
Sean: Honey? Are you okay?
Chase: Stats are dropping. Down
to the 80s. Stay with us, Naomi.
Sean: What’s going on?
Chase: We need you to leave the
room. [CGI shot of a blood clot getting stuck in her lungs.]
Foreman: [to a nurse running in]
Respiratory distress.
Sean: Could you just tell me
what’s going on?
Chase: We’re trying to find out.
[Sean is escorted from the room. Foreman is doing a quick ultrasound on the
baby and Naomi’s lungs, while Chase looks down Naomi’s airway.]
Foreman: Still kicking.
Chase: Flash pulmonary edema?
Foreman: Lungs are clear. There
it is.
Chase: Pulmonary embolus.
Foreman: Gotta get her to an OR.
[Cut to Foreman and Chase running
with a bunch of nurses and techs to the OR. Sean is rushing after them.]
Sean: What happened?
Foreman: [breaking off from the
group to talk to Sean] It’s an embolism. A blood clot. It’s fairly common
with lung cancer. It’s not a [something] embolism, so blood’s still trickling
through. We’ve been able to get Naomi breathing a little, but we need to
remove the clot, and we need you to approve the treatment.
Sean: Yeah, whatever you have to
do, just do it!
Foreman: It’s not that simple,
okay. The best course for the baby would be an immediate C-section. The
longer we postpone, the greater chance it’ll have brain damage from lack of
oxygen.
Sean: Fine, whatever, just do it!
Foreman: Here’s the problem. The
C-section would be very, very dangerous for Naomi.
Sean: Dangerous, like…
Foreman: In her current condition,
there’s a real chance she wouldn’t survive. I’m sorry. [pause] Look, your
wife’s unconscious, we need you to make a decision.
Sean: I just want her to live. No
C-section. [Foreman nods and runs to the OR, leaving Sean standing in the
hallway.]
[Cut to the OR.]
Foreman: Stats are still way
down. We’ve got to push the streptokinase.
Chase: Too risky. Even if it
dissolves the clot, she could still bleed out anyway.
Foreman: She’s hemodynamically
compromised.
Chase: It’s not good for the baby.
Foreman: Dad doesn’t care.
Chase: [inserting a needle]
Embolcine 250,000 units. [The monitors start to beep.]
Foreman: BP’s dropping. Pressers!
Chase: We don’t have time. We’ve
gotta suck it out.
Foreman: Systolic BP’s 80. [Chase
gets the clot out.] BP’s stabilizing, O2 stats rising. [House enters the OR,
in scrubs and minus his cane.]
House: Did you get the clot?
Chase: I think so. She’s
stabilized.
House: How long was her oxygen at
that level?
Chase: Ten minutes?
House: Brain function compromised?
[The monitors go off again.]
Chase: BP’s dropping. Up the
dopamine. She’s not responding. How much?
Foreman: She’s up to 30
micrograms!
Chase: Is she septic? [House
lifts the robe on her stomach to reveal a expanding purplish bruise.]
House: She’s bleeding into her
abdomen.
Foreman: We won’t be able to stop
it. I’ll go talk to the husband.
House: No, you stay here.
[leaving] Keep her as stable as you can for as long as you can. [He leaves the
OR to find Sean pacing outside of it.] She had trauma during the procedure.
She’s bleeding into her abdomen. There’s nothing we can do; I’m sorry.
Sean: Um, no.
House: I need you to okay the C-section.
Sean: Yeah, that’s gonna kill her,
right?
House: It probably will.
Sean: I can’t do that.
House: She’s dying either way.
[Sean drops his coffee cup.]
Sean: I’m sorry, I’m – [House
grabs his arms.]
House: Stay with me, Sean. I need
your okay on this.
Sean: She makes the decisions, and
I’m –
House: Right, and that’s gonna be
tough from now on, but this decision is easy. You know what she’d want.
Sean: I can’t do it.
House: You make this call, only
two things change. One: yeah, you feel guilty for killing your wife. Two:
your baby lives. Naomi’s baby lives.
Sean: [sobbing] Okay, okay.
[House reenters the OR, Sean sits in one of the chairs outside of it.]
[Cut to the OR, where the
C-section is underway.]
Lim: He’s out; umbilical cord’s
clamped.
Chase: No respiration.
Foreman: His lungs aren’t opening
up.
Chase: They aren’t mature. [Chase
and Foreman work on the baby.]
Foreman: Come on, take a breath.
You know you can do it. [The monitors beep. Chase continues to work on the
baby while Foreman walks over to Naomi.] What’ve you got?
Lim: Looks like v-fib.
Foreman: Pulse?
Lim: No. Paddles!
Chase: [rubbing the baby’s chest]
Come on, come on.
Lim: Clear! [A shock.]
Foreman: Nothing.
Lim: Charging.
Chase: Come on, open up.
Foreman: [to Chase] How’s he
doing?
Chase: He’s still not breathing;
we’ve got to intubate. [He goes to get the equipment.]
Lim: Clear! [Another shock.
Nothing happens to Naomi, but the baby starts to cry. As Naomi is shocked
again, Chase tends to the now-breathing baby.]
[Cut to House sitting in the
hallway.]
Cuddy: [to person she was walking
with] Thank you. [to House] I’m late for the board meeting. [House gets up to
walk with her.]
House: We need to talk.
Cuddy: I don’t want to hear it.
House: It’s about a patient.
Cuddy: The pregnant woman? She
wasn’t qualified for that trial and I’m not going to apologize –
House: I’m not talking about her.
At this point I think it’s best that I concentrate on patients who are still
alive. [Cuddy looks surprised.] Pulmonary embolism. She bled out. Saved her
son. [He hands Cuddy some films.] This is Olive Kaplan’s CT scan, the
incredible shrinking baby. [Cuddy looks at it.]
Cuddy: Her thymus gland –
House: DiGeorge Syndrome. It’s
genetic, can cause the gland to wither to nothing.
Cuddy: This is why she couldn’t
gain weight.
House: Yeah.
Cuddy: I’ll call the police and
Social Services and have all the charges withdrawn.
House: I’ve sent a test down to
confirm; when it comes back you should start Olive on immunoglobulin
replacement.
Cuddy: You’re not going to do it?
House: I assume I won’t be here.
[Cut to Sean, standing by the bed
of his wife. Foreman walks in.]
Foreman: Your boy’s doing good.
[Sean nods, and bends over to kiss Naomi.]
[Cut to the board meeting.]
Vogler: It’s the same motion as
yesterday, people, same reasons. All those in favor of dismissing Gregory
House raise a hand. [Everyone raises a hand except Cuddy.] Dr. Cuddy, you
realize this is going to happen.
Cuddy: I can’t do it.
Vogler: You can’t abstain.
Cuddy: I’m not abstaining, I’m
voting no.
Vogler: You’ve changed your mind
since yesterday? What did he do, buy you dinner and roses? Threaten to drown
your dog?
Cuddy: He did his job.
Vogler: Right. He saved another
life.
Cuddy: Maybe.
Vogler: Good for him. It’s
great. It’s not the point.
Cuddy: It’s what we do.
Vogler: And you could do it a lot
better if you didn’t have to worry about some madman running around the
hospital accountable to no one!
Cuddy: But that’s not the choice
you’re giving us.
Vogler: House won’t listen to
anyone –
Cuddy: And you’re not accountable
to anybody, either! Because you think you own us.
Vogler: I move for the immediate
dismissal of Dr. Lisa Cuddy.
Dr. Simpson: She’s upset, we all
are. Why would you risk your career to save him? [Cuddy gives him an
incredulous look.]
Cuddy: If you think House deserves
to go, if you think I deserve to go, Wilson deserved to go, then vote yes. But
if you’re doing this because you are afraid of losing his money, then he’s
right! He does own you. [She stands to leave.] You have a choice. Maybe the
last real one you’ll have here. [She leaves. Everyone looks at Vogler, and…]
[Cut to Wilson, popping the cork
on a champagne bottle in House’s office! Yay! He, House, Foreman and Chase
are drinking and throwing a Nerf football around.]
House: Cuddy is a genius, [Ball to
Foreman] convincing four people to give up a fortune to save our sorry asses.
[Cuddy walks in.] Dr. Cuddy! [He raises his glass.] The man of the hour.
[Foreman throws the ball to her, which she catches. There are shouts of “Hey,
hey!” and the like.]
Cuddy: What are you doing?
House: We’re drinking. I would
have thought that was pretty obvious. [Ball is thrown to Chase, Cuddy picks
up a glass.]
Cuddy: Well, to the great
champion. Saved you, saved Wilson, saved the whole team. [She drinks the entire
glass in one go.] Of course, none of them would have needed saving if you
could actually get along with another human being.
House: Well, thank you, Miss
Buzzkill.
Cuddy: Well, you only cost us $100
million. Could have saved some lives, could have made a few jobs, helped a few
people. Yippee.
House: You voted to get rid of
him.
Cuddy: The lesser of two evils.
You should be mourning. I know I am.
[Closing montage. Clips of Sean
holding his new baby and crying, Foreman watching through the glass wall; Joel
and Rachel with Olive in her hospital room; Wilson unpacking his office; Chase
turning off the lights and leaving Diagnostics, passing House in his office,
who is working on a case and looking at CT scans. And good night!]