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TRANSCRIPT:
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(Credits roll)

[Scene: Dining Hall. Natalie is trying to scrape gum off the bottoms of chairs. Tootie is helping. Eddie paces in his black sailor uniform, tapping his white sailor hat against his leg. He goes up to Tootie.]

Eddie: Think Jo will be surprised to see me?

Tootie: Sure, she’s not expecting you ‘til tomorrow.

Natalie: Tootie, scrape.

Tootie: You know Eddie, whenever you come up for a visit, Jo is so happy. She’s even nice to Blair.

Natalie: Tootie, you gunna help me or what?

Eddie: What are you girls doing?

Tootie: Scrapping off gum.

Natalie: There’s nothing more disgusting than dead Juicy Fruit.

(Both Natalie and Tootie move away from the table. Mrs. Garrett comes in from the kitchen with a pot of tea, teacups, and cookies on a tray.)

Mrs. Garrett: Here you go, my special oatmeal cookies. They taste so delicious you forget they’re good for you. (She pushes a cookie into Eddie’s mouth.)

Eddie: Mmmm, Mrs. Garrett, I told you not to go through any trouble.

Mrs. Garrett: (begins to pour tea into a cup) Oh, it’s no trouble at all. (She gives him the cup.) Come on Eddie, make yourself at home. (She moves her cookies to a table.)

Natalie: Make yourself at home? I never thought I’d hear those words coming from that mouth to those ears.

Mrs. Garrett: Oh Natalie, Eddie and I have always been buddies.

Tootie: Buddies? When he and Jo tried to elope last year, you were ready to strangle him.

Mrs. Garrett: That’s true. But, uh, everything’s fine now. Now that we’ve come to an understanding? (She looks at him expectantly.)

Eddie: She means now that I understand that me and Jo are too young to get married, eh?

(Mrs. Garrett laughs. Jo comes into the dining room with Bob Perkins. They’re laughing. She doesn’t notice that Eddie is standing there.)  

Eddie: Jo!

Jo: (stopping at mid-stride, she sees him. Putting down her books onto a table, she goes to hug him.) Eddie! (They hug tightly. Eddie pulls her off her feet.) How you doin’? You’re early.

Eddie: You mind?

Jo: Are you kidding? You look terrific.

Eddie: So do you, honey. Aw, I missed you so much.

Jo: (hugging him again) Aw, I missed you. You got another stripe. Aw, I’m so proud of you.

Eddie: I was hoping you’d notice.

Jo: (notices Bob waiting) Oh, there’s someone I want you to meet. Um, this is Eddie Brennan, my boyfriend. (The two boys shake hands.) Eddie, this is Bob Perkins, my husband. (Eddie lets go of Bob’s hand.)

Eddie: (confused) Your what?

Jo: Oh, haha. No, no, don’t panic, honey. You see, um, it’s for this social studies class we’re having with Bates.

Bob: Yeah, they pair up a guy and a girl from each school and we have a simulated marriage.

Eddie: Oh yeah, well how much is simulated and how much is marriage, huh?

(Bob sits down at a table.)

Jo: Nah, it’s just an excuse to give us more homework. (She goes to poor herself a cup of tea.)

Eddie: (follows her) Bet they’re working your tail off. But this weekend is strictly r and r, right?

Jo: Oh, good. I could use it. This course is a killer. See, what we have to do is make up a budget. So much for food, rent, entertainment. (She heads back over to Bob and Eddie follows.) We even have to figure out our income tax.

Bob: It’s supposed to prepare us for the future. It teaches us compromise, commitment, how to handle money.

(Jo sits down next to Bob.)

Mrs. Garrett: Yeah, it’s a great idea. Young people get to know that sharing a bed isn’t the only thing in a marriage.

Eddie: No one said it was the only thing… (He sits down next to Jo.) Just the best thing. (He and Jo laugh. Mrs. Garrett hits him in the back.) I was just kidding Mrs. G.

Natalie: (follows Mrs. Garrett to the counter) Mrs. Garrett, I got the gum off your chairs. Now how do I get it off my hands? (She shows Mrs. Garrett her hands.)

Mrs. Garrett: Come on, we’ll stick your hands in the freezer and crack it off. (Natalie pulls her hands away from her.) Trust me, trust me.

(Mrs. Garrett leads Natalie to the kitchen.)

Eddie: So, uh, for this marriage course, you picked Bob? Bob. It is Bob, right?

Bob: Right.

Jo: Well no, I didn’t pick him. See, we were assigned alphabetically. Polniaczek, Perkins.

Eddie: Oh, I guess that makes sense.

(Blair enters the dining room.)

Blair: Oh, I’ll never be able to show my face around here again. You won’t believe the turkey they stuck me with. I’d rather be married to him. (She points to Eddie and then passes him.) Hi, how are you doing?

Eddie: Fine Blair. How are you?

Blair: I’ve had better days. To make you marry someone just because you have the same last initial is positively Medieval. (Jo and Eddie are amused.)

Tootie: And who is the blushing bridegroom, Blair?

Blair: Some guy named Wilber.

Tootie: But I thought you were paired off by last names.

Blair: That is his last name.

Tootie: (laughs) Wilber? What’s his first name?

Blair: Would you believe…Waldo? (Bob shakes his head in amusement.) It’s just not fair. I mean, look. Even Jo got lucky.

Bob: Ha, I think I’m the one who’s lucky. I got her.

Eddie: No, no, no. I’m the one who’s lucky. I’ve got her.

Jo: (slightly uncomfortable, she smiles) Ah, well…here we are. A room full of lucky people. (Her smile fades away quickly.)

Bob: (stands up) Well, I guess with Eddie here…Eddie? It is Eddie, right? (Eddie flicks his hat towards him and winks in affirmation.) I guess with him here you’re not into doing homework now.

Jo: Yeah.

Eddie: Hey, don’t forget we’ve got tickets to the dirt bike rally tomorrow.

Jo: Oh, hey, that’s great.

Bob: Well, you know our budget’s due Monday. We’ve got to get together sometime this weekend.

Jo: Yeah, I guess so. Well, uh, we’ll be back in the afternoon. We can do our homework then.

Bob: Fine, I’ll see you then. Bye Eddie. (He leaves.)

Blair: (coming up behind Jo) Boy Jo, you certainly lucked out. He’s adorable.

Jo: (looks at Eddie and gets up to move the cookies over to the counter) He’s a nice person.

Blair: How am I going to make it through the next two weeks? Being Mrs. Waldo Wilber. (She sits down in the seat Bob was sitting in.)

Eddie: (gets up from the table and goes over to Jo) Well, I think this course is a terrific idea. (He puts his arm around her shoulder and directs her back towards the table.) Now Jo will really be ready to be Mrs. Eddie Brennan.

(They kiss and hug. Tootie sits in the chair Jo vacated and looks up at them happily.)

[Scene: Mrs. Garrett sits on a coach in the room attached to the dining hall, the lounge. She is putting letters onto an announcement board. Jo and Eddie enter through the back door laughing.]

Jo: Hey Mrs. G.

Mrs. Garrett: Hi kids, how was the bike rally?

Eddie: (enthusiastic) Oh, it was super. There was a guy going around the track doing wheelies blindfolded.

Mrs. Garrett: (concerned) You don’t say?

Eddie: Oh, it was incredible, wasn’t it babe?

Jo: (not as enthusiastic) Yeah, great.

Mrs. Garrett: Oh, before I forget, Bob called to remind you that you’re working together this afternoon.

Jo: Ah Eddie, I’m sorry to mess up our weekend together like this. I’ll call him and tell him I can’t make it.

Eddie: Oh no, that’s alright honey. You better do your homework. I’ll come by this evening and we’ll go to the arcade, alright? (They kiss. He goes to sit next to Mrs. Garrett.) Mrs. Garrett, you’re never going to believe what they did with the big finish. They had a guy go up a ramp and over twelve cars.

Mrs. Garrett: How do they do that and not end up like applesauce?

Eddie: (shakes his head) Who knows? I guess you just cross your fingers, spit, and hold on tight for dear life.

Jo: No, see it’s like what we studied in math. You can figure it out. If the acceleration is constant, the distance travels from rest equals one half the acceleration times the approach times square. (Mrs. Garrett looks impressed and Eddie looks confused. Jo smiles and laughs uncomfortably.) And then you cross your fingers, spit and hold on for dear life. (She sits down on the arm of the coach.)

[Scene: Dining Hall. Jo and Bob are sitting at one of the tables with their work spread out.]

Bob: Ha, let’s move onto the entertainment budget.

Jo: I have a feeling this is where the compromising comes in.

Bob: Ha, well we got to cut corners someplace.

(Blair walks in and grins at the two.)

Jo: Hi Blair.

Blair: Hi. (She keeps grinning and watching until Jo and Bob notice.)

Bob: Hi.

Blair: You two kids keep working. Don’t let me interrupt.

(Blair keeps grinning and Jo and Bob go back to their work.)

Bob: (clears his throat) Look, um, I’m willing to put aside money for your dirt bike rallies, but there’s got to be enough left for me to take the train into the city for the Shakespeare plays in the park.

Jo: I’d like to see those plays too.

Bob: (looks at her happily) Okay.

Blair: (walks behind them shaking her head with a grin) Look at you two, married two whole days and not one argument.

Bob: (looks over at her) How’s your marriage with old Waldo working out? (Jo becomes very interested.)

Blair: We’re looking at twin beds. Does that tell you anything?

Jo: (gets up) Let me get the classifieds and we’ll find out how much apartments are going these days.

Bob: Alright.

Jo: (passes Tootie and Natalie, who are entering the room) Hi guys. Welcome to the newly wed game. (She exits.)

Blair: (to Bob) She’s got a great little head on her shoulders doesn’t she?

Bob: Yeah, yeah, she’ll make somebody a terrific wife.

Tootie: That’s what Eddie says.

Blair: Eddie? Eddie who?

Tootie: The Eddie who gave her the ring that she always wears around her neck.

Bob: I guess they’re pretty serious?

Tootie: It’s true love.

Blair: It’s just a fling.

Natalie: Was that cleared up for you Bob?

(Bob shakes his head. Tootie sits down in the chair Jo left. Jo enters with a newspaper.)

Jo: Maybe it’d be cheaper if we budgeted for a furnished apartment.

(She hits Tootie’s arm with her newspaper to get her to move. Tootie gets up and Jo sits down. Mrs. Garrett peeks in from the kitchen.)

Mrs. Garrett: I need you girls to set up for dinner.

Jo: (looks at Tootie and Natalie annoyed) We’re going to have to quit now.

(Tootie, Natalie, and Blair all head towards the kitchen. Jo and Bob pack up.)

Bob: No problem, we can finish it later.

(Tootie, Natalie, and Blair wait by the kitchen door to hear her reply.)

Jo: Oh, I can’t. I’ve got plans with Eddie.

Blair: Oh, but Jo, you have to finish your homework. We’ll entertain Eddie. (Jo looks at Blair with disgust.) I’ll read to him or something.

(Tootie watches with disapproval.)

Bob: All this stuff is due on Monday and we haven’t even put a dent in it.

Jo: Yeah, you’re right. I’ll call Eddie at the Y and tell him I have to work.

(Natalie leaves into the kitchen. Tootie looks with disappointment and leaves. Blair grins happily and leaves.)

Bob: Ha, I’ll meet you at the pizza place at seven.

Jo: Wait a minute. Are we working or are we eating?

Bob: Can’t you do both?

Jo: Well, let’s concentrate on the working. I’m trying to get an ‘A’ in social studies, not pepperoni.

Bob: Halright, I’ll see you later.

(He leaves. Jo pauses for a moment and then heads out the other direction.)

[Scene: Pizza Parlor. It looks like Jo and Bob have been there for awhile. There’s only one more piece of pepperoni pizza left. Bob is laughing. Jo grabs the last piece.]

Bob: (puts his hands around hers) Here, let me help you.

Jo: (laughing) I’ve got it.

(He directs the pizza into her mouth and then takes his hands away as he laughs.)

Bob: With your apatite, we’ll never make it on this food budget. (They both laugh again.) I guess you’ll just have to eat a lot of my mom’s old standby, hunter’s stew.

Jo: How do you make that?

Bob: Well, you hunt around the kitchen and throw whatever you find in a pot. (They both laugh and he sighs.) You know, you’ve got a great sense of humor.

Jo: (laughs and waves his complement off) You’re just saying that because I laugh at your dumb jokes.

Bob: Of course. (He laughs.) Why else would I say it? (Both laugh.) You know, you’re a very interesting person.

Jo: (smiles bashfully) You think so?

Bob: Yeah. (long silence) So, what’s your philosophy of life?

Jo: (puzzled, but thinks about it) Um, I don’t think I have one. At least, um, not one I’ve written down.

Bob: That’s good. Neither do I. But you know, that could be one.

Jo: One what?

Bob: One philosophy. To say that I have no philosophy of life could actually be a philosophy.

Jo: …of life. Right?

Bob: I don’t know if that makes any sense.

Jo: Sure, sure it does. It’s like saying to someone, ‘I’m not playing by your rules.’ Right away that becomes your own rule. (She smiles and they gaze at each other.)

Bob: (nods) Right. (Jo nods.) You know, you’re a very interesting person.

Jo: (nods bashfully) I know, you told me that before.

Bob: (takes her hand) And I really enjoy… working with you.

Jo: (bashfully) I enjoy… working with you too.

(Both keep a steady gaze.)

[Scene: Lounge. Jo and Bob enter the room laughing.]

Jo: Are you kidding? Before I came here, I thought literature was graffiti that was spelled right. (Their laughing stops when both of them notice Eddie, who is lying on the couch with his hat over his eyes. She goes over to wake him up.) Hey Eddie, wake up. It’s after eleven. (Eddie pulls his hat off his eyes.) What are you doing here? You know I was working.

Eddie: (sits up) Just wanted to make sure you got home alright. (He notices Bob and quickly stands up.) Hey… What are you doing here?

Bob: I wanted to make sure she got home alright.

Jo: (stands between them) Well, I got home alright, alright?

Eddie: Well if you’ve got some more homework to do, I’ll shove off.

Bob: That’s okay, we’re finished, I’m going.

Eddie: Nah, don’t leave on my account. I’ll go.

Jo: You’ll both go.

Bob: Listen Jo…

Eddie: Ah honey…

Jo: (over the two) Look, it’s late. Go home. (She looks at Bob.) I’ll see you in class on Monday. (She looks at Eddie.) And I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.

(Jo leaves in frustration. Both boys stare each other down.)

[Scene: Girls bedroom. It’s dark. Jo enters quietly and shuts the door. She heads over to her bed. Suddenly a flashlight comes on from the top bunk. It shines onto Jo’s face.]

Jo: (turns her head away from the light) Hey…

Tootie: Well it’s about time.

Jo: Would you give me a break?

Tootie: (getting out of bed) Do you know what time it is? It’s after eleven o’clock! That’s what time it is.

(Blair wakes up and turns on her bedside light. Jo can’t believe she has to deal with all of them. Natalie gets out of bed.)  

Natalie: You and Bob must have had some date.

Jo: It wasn’t a date. It was a working dinner.

Natalie: I’m a little fuzzy on the relationship here. I mean, does Eddie date other people too?

Tootie: (from her top bunk) No, Eddie would never cheat.

Jo: (to Tootie) How would you like me to punch your light out?

Natalie: (gets between the two) Wouldn’t want to die on an empty stomach. Come on Tootie, let’s go downstairs. (She tries to pull Tootie off her bed.)

Tootie: Not until I find out exactly where Eddie stands.

(Jo turns away from Tootie.)

Blair: (getting out of bed) Natalie, go stick something in her mouth.

(Natalie finally pulls Tootie off the bed and pushes her towards the door.)

Blair: Don’t be angry at Tootie. She just has to get used to the idea that you’re dating other people.

Jo: I’m not dating other people. (She flips through her notebook.) Look, look at this work. Simulated marriage class. Proposed monthly budget. (She begins to punctuate her words with a flip of a page.) Food, rent, utilities… (There’s a pizza crust between two pages. She throws it over her shoulder.)…Pizza crust… Medical, entertainment. (She looks up at Blair.) Does that look like a date?

Blair: Alright, it was a working dinner. (She turns away, giving up.)

Jo: Who you trying to kid, Blair? It was a date and you know it. (Blair turns around bemused.) We were sitting at a table with nothing between us but a pepperoni pizza. That’s a date.

Blair: (points to Jo’s work) What about all this?

Jo: All this was finished by eight o’clock. (She folds her arms across her chest.) And after that we laughed, talked, and had a great time. (Blair smiles, she’s happy for her.) It was awful. (Blair looks confused.) Why did I stay there with him?

Blair: Because you were laughing and talking and having a great time. Why is that so awful?

Jo: (turns away from Blair) Because I’m not in love with Bob.

Blair: Jo, a date doesn’t have to lead to love… or going steady. Heck, it doesn’t have to lead to another date.

Jo: (turns to Blair) My mother calls that being fickle. (She turns away from Blair.)

Blair: My mother calls that playing the field. (Jo rolls her eyes.) It’s one of the advantages of being young and unattached and in my case, beautiful. (Jo turns around in annoyance.) But you wouldn’t know about that. (Jo turns away again. Blair realizes what she has implicated.) I mean, you wouldn’t know about dating. Eddie’s the only boy you’ve ever dated.

Jo: (turns to her) That’s the way I wanted it and that’s the way I still want it. (She picks up her notebook.)

Blair: Awe, come on Jo. Stop kidding yourself. You’re holding onto Eddie like he was a security blanket.

Jo: Look, just because you can’t stick with a guy for more than fifteen minutes, don’t try and break me and Eddie up. We’re together and that’s the way we’re going to stay. (She slams her notebook onto her desk and turns her back on Blair.)

[Scene: Dining Hall. Jo is looking for something on the floor between the tables and chairs. Mrs. Garrett enters the room.]

Mrs. Garrett: Oh, here you are. There’s a message for you. Your husband…(Jo gives her a look.) uh, your Bob called.

Jo: Oh. (She continues to look for something.)

Mrs. Garrett: Looking for something?

Jo: No, I’m just looking for something.

(Blair enters.)

Blair: (sings) Born free, as free as the lala lalalala la lalala.

Mrs. Garrett: Blair, why are you so happy?

Blair: (grinning, she sings) I’m getting a divorce.

Mrs. Garrett: Have you thought about this?

Blair: Are you kidding? That’s all I’ve thought about since this stupid marriage project started.

Jo: Well, some people just can’t make a commitment.

Blair: (goes over to Jo) His name is Waldo Wilber. I cannot commit to a man with two first names. What are you looking for?

Jo: (touches her neck) Nothing. It’s got to be in the lounge. (She heads over to the lounge.)

Blair: (turns to Mrs. Garrett with a grin) Well, I’m going upstairs. I have to rework my marriage budget to include alimony. (She leaves.)

Mrs. Garrett: (looking up) Oh… (She heads to the lounge. Jo is on the floor looking under the couch.) Looking for loose change?

Jo: It’s not funny Mrs. Garrett. (She looks between the cushions.) I lost the ring that Eddie gave me.

Mrs. Garrett: Oh, well let me help you look for it. (She also looks between the cushions. Pulling out a set of handcuffs, she’s stunned.) Sometimes I wonder what you girls do when I’m not here. (She puts the cuffs onto the coffee table.)

Jo: (touches her neck) I hope I didn’t lose it in the pizza place. Maybe it fell into the antipasto. 

Mrs. Garrett: So, when are you and Bob going to go out again?

Jo: We’re not.

Mrs. Garrett: Oh, you don’t want to?

Jo: I do want to.

Mrs. Garrett: Then you will.

Jo: I won’t! Mrs. Garrett, look, I won’t because I want to. That’s why I can’t. You understand?

Mrs. Garrett: Believe it or not, I think I do.

Jo: Good, then explain it to me. (She sits next to Mrs. Garrett on the couch.) I don’t understand what’s happening to me. All my life, I wanted to have one person I was special to and who was special to me. And then we could be together and it would last forever. And I’ve got that with Eddie. So, why do I want to go out with Bob?

Mrs. Garrett: Because he interests you.

Jo: (stands up) So what? What am I supposed to do? Just go out with every boy that interests me?

Mrs. Garrett: Why not?

Jo: (disgusted) You mean, ‘play the field’? That’s so… so… Blair.              

Mrs. Garrett: Look Jo, your life is changing. (Jo sits down.) You’re not the same girl who rode in here last year on a motorcycle. (Jo smiles shyly.) You’re growing and your needs are changing. Why not be with the people who fulfill those needs?

Jo: (stands up) I’m changing. My needs. It all sounds so selfish.

Mrs. Garrett: (stands up) That word really takes a bum rap. What’s so terrible about doing something for yourself?

Jo: And what about other people? Don’t I owe them something?

Mrs. Garrett: You owe other people the very best of yourself. And if you don’t take care that, you won’t have anything to give Eddie or anyone else. (She goes back to looking for the ring. Looking under a board game on the coffee table, she pulls the chain and ring out.) Jo…? (She laughs.)

Jo: (taking the chain and ring) You found it. (She examines it.)

Eddie: (from outside) Jo? Hey Jo?

Mrs. Garrett: In here Eddie.

(Eddie enters the lounge.)

Jo: (runs over to him) Oh Eddie. (She hugs him.)

Eddie: Hey… hey. (He pulls back.) What’s the matter?

Jo: Your ring. The chain broke and I thought I lost it.

Eddie: Well, you found it. Calm down. (He puts his hands on her shoulders to comfort her.)

Mrs. Garrett: Well, uh, if you two will excuse me, I’ll… (They gaze at each other. Eddie is concerned.) I guess you will. (She leaves.)

Jo: (pulls away from him and both of them head towards the couch) I just don’t understand. I mean, I didn’t take it off or anything.

Eddie: (stops in front of her) I know. Hey, don’t worry about it. Look Jo, there’s something we got to talk about.

Jo: You mad about last night?

Eddie: No, I’m not mad… But I can see something’s going on with you. Every time I come back here you’re a little bit different.

Jo: What do you mean, different? My hair is the same, my face is the same. Alright, so put on a few pounds. I’ll lose it.

Eddie: It’s not the stuff on the outside. It’s like you’ve changed.

Jo: Yeah… I know what you mean. (She walks forward past him and then turns.) Well, you see it’s the school. Going to classes, the library, museums, I’ve just been hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Eddie: (walks up to her) Jo, I feel like, when I talk to you, you don’t understand and when I listen to you, I don’t understand. I mean, am I crazy?

Jo: No… You’re not crazy. (She turns away from him.) What do you think we should do about it?

Eddie: I don’t know. It’s just things don’t feel right.

Jo: Well, what are you saying? You think we should break up?

Eddie: No… I mean, I don’t know. Look Jo, maybe you… you and me should see some other people.

(Silence.)

Jo: (walks away a few paces and turns towards him) How am I gunna make it without you?

Eddie: Oh, you’ve been doing just fine. Can’t you see that?

Jo: Eddie…

Eddie: Hey, this is not goodbye forever. You’re not going to get rid of me that easily. You know I’ll always be here for you.

Jo: (looks down at the ring) You think you should take this back?

Eddie: I don’t know. You want me to?

Jo: I don’t know. Maybe you could get a refund or something.

Eddie: It cost five bucks a month. Two years, I’ll have it paid for. (She hugs him.) I’ll, uh, write you when I get back to the base, okay? (Jo keeps her gaze to the ground and nods.) And you’ll write back? (She nods again.) And I’ll write back to you again. (He touches her cheek and she looks up at him.) Hey, you’ll be okay.

(She nods and they kiss. He leaves silently. She sniffles while running her finger on the ring. Sitting down on the couch, she begins to cry silently. Mrs. Garrett enters and sits down next to her. She rubs her hand up and down Jo’s back.)

Jo: He wouldn’t take it back. (She puts the ring on the board game.) I can’t even look at it. (She covers her eyes with her hand.)

Mrs. Garrett: I know… But that will change. (Jo takes her hand away from her eyes.) You’ll see. (Mrs. Garrett reaches for the ring.) One day, this ring will give you pleasure. (She shows the ring to Jo.) Oh yes. You’ll show it to your grandchildren and smile. And tell them all about your first love.

(Jo looks up at her and then breaks down crying, burying her face against Mrs. Garrett’s chest. Jo begins to sob. Mrs. Garrett hugs her tightly. The frame freezes and credits roll.)
 

END OF EPISODE

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