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TRANSCRIPT:
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[Scene: Lounge. Joe, Tootie, and Natalie sit side-by-side on the couch looking down at a scrabble board. Mrs. Garrett stands beside them.]

Jo: (throws her hands up in frustration) I can’t do anything with these crummy letters.

Mrs. Garrett: I think I see something.

Jo: Mrs. Garrett, don’t kibitz. You wanna play, just sit down.

Mrs. Garrett: (scratches the back of her neck) Uh, no, um competition gives me a rash.

(Blair enters from the outside with guy, who has blond hair and looks to be well off. She holds onto one of his arms as if being escorted.)

Blair: Oh, hello everyone. Don’t get up. Mrs. Garrett, I want you to meet my dear, dear friend, Harrison Andrews. He just transferred to Bates Academy. Harrison, Mrs. Garrett. Our friend, confidant, and slave driver.

Mrs. Garrett: (shaking his hand) How do you do Harrison?

Harrison: Hello Mrs. Garrett.

Natalie: Come on Jo. Would you just make a word?

Jo: Alright, alright.

Blair: (leads Harrison to the couch) And these youngsters are my roommates. Reading from right to left, Natalie…

Natalie: (looks up from board) Hi.

Blair: Tootie…

Tootie: (looks up from board) Hi.

Blair: And Jo.

Jo: (places down a couple of letters to make a four letter word and laughs) Want a word? There’s a word.

(Tootie and Natalie are shocked.)

Mrs. Garrett: You can’t use that. It’s a four tile word…

(Jo grins and nods.)

Blair: That’s our Jo. (She laughs and Harrison laughs with her.)

Mrs. Garrett: Have you two known each other long?

Harrison: Well, it’s actually been about…

Blair: (talks over him) Ever sense we were babies. (Harrison sits.) Our families have always hoped we grow up and join our two great bloodlines.

Jo: (making a face) Are you people or race horses?

Blair: Better a race horse than a jackass. Of course we haven’t seen each other in years. Harrison’s been going to school in Switzerland.

Jo: What’d you major in? Yodeling?

Harrison: Well, a little more than that.

Mrs. Garrett: (sits down in chair) Well, after Switzerland, I hope you don’t find Bates Academy boring.

Blair: It’ll be such fun. We’ll pick up where we left off when we were six.

Natalie: That’ll be cute, seeing you two peddling around on bicycles.

Blair: Harrison’s toys have four wheels now. Tell them about your new Porsche.

Harrison: Oh, I just got it…

Blair: (talking over him) It’s candy apple red with his initials on the door.

Jo: Turbo charged?

Blair: Of course not. He paid cash.

Harrison: Yeah, it’s a nine eleven SE.

Jo: Five on the floor, overhead cam?

Harrison: That’s right.

Jo: (stands up proudly) I can beat it.

Harrison: What?

Jo: I’ve got five bucks that my bike can beat your Porsche.

Harrison: (stands up) You drive a motorcycle?

Jo: Yeah and it can beat anything on four wheels.

Natalie: This is going to be great.

Tootie: Let’s go, yeah.

Mrs. Garrett: Forget it. There will be no burning rubber at Eastland. (She checks her watch.) Let’s see, it’s about time dinner. Blair go up and change. Girls, let’s get started. Excuse us please. (She leaves towards the kitchen.)

Blair: Harrison? I’ll be back, just a second. (She touches his nose and starts to leave. Jo stands with the top cover to the scrabble game and watches Blair in disgust.)

Harrison: Okay.

Blair: Wait right here, don’t you move.

Harrison: I won’t. Bye, bye.

Tootie: We’ll finish the game right after dinner.

Natalie: Right.

Jo: You can count me out, cause I’ve got other plans for tonight. (She lays the top on the couch and begins to leave.)

Harrison: (goes to follow Jo) Yeah? (The two enter into the dining hall.) Well, what kind of plans?

Jo: (stops to look at him) Oh, I don’t know. Have a little fun, get a few kicks.

Harrison: Right, I mean, what’s life without kicks?

Jo: (seriously) Death. (She starts to head over to the counter next to the kitchen to pick up a few flower vases.)

Harrison: So what do you do? Just hop on your bike and hit the streets?

Jo: Only when I don’t hold on tight enough. (She begins to put the vases down on the tables.)

Harrison: Eh, bet you stay to all hours, don’t you?

Jo: Oh no, we have a curfew.

Harrison: Oh.

Jo: (laughs) And sometimes I even make it.

Harrison: (steps in front of her to stop her progress) Well, where you going tonight?

Jo: I’ll probably swing by the arcade in town.

Harrison: How’d you like it if I showed up to the arcade tonight?

Jo: It’s a public place. I mean, I couldn’t have you arrested. (She goes back to putting the vases on the tables.)

Harrison: Uh, look. I got to get back. Would you tell Blair I had to go?

Jo: Yeah, sure.

(Natalie and Tootie enter into the dining hall.)

Harrison: (to the other girls) It’s nice meeting you girls.

Natalie: Bye.

Tootie: Bye.

(Mrs. Garrett enters the dining hall holding a bunch of yellow flowers.) 

Harrison: Ah, Mrs. Garrett. (He shakes her hand.) It’s been a pleasure. (He kisses it.)

Mrs. Garrett: You must do that again…uh, you must come by again.

Harrison: Oh, I will. (He lets go of her hand and looks at Jo.) Bye.

Natalie: Bye.

Mrs. Garrett: Bye. (She puts a flower into a vase on one of the tables.) Oh, what a well mannered young man.

Jo: I know. Doesn’t he give you the creeps?

(Mrs. Garrett laughs. Blair comes into the dining hall from upstairs.)

Blair: I’m back Harrison. Sorry to have taken so long. (She waits expectantly.) Harrison?

Tootie: You can unglue your smile Blair.

Blair: (still smiling) What ever do you mean?

Jo: Uh, your boyfriend had to take off.

Blair: (smile vanishes) Aw, crud. He didn’t even tell me what time we were going to the High Crest Country Club tomorrow night. (She sits down at a table.)

Natalie: Oh, you’re going to a dance?

Blair: It’s not a dance, it’s a cotillion.

Natalie: What’s the difference?

(Tootie and Natalie sit down at the table Blair sits at. On the table, there are empty salt and pepper shakers.)

Mrs. Garrett: When they hang crate paper and play records in a gym, it’s a dance. When they hang crate paper in a country club, it’s a cotillion.

Natalie: When did Harrison ask you?

Blair: Well, he didn’t exactly ask me. Not in so many words.

Tootie: Well, if he didn’t exactly ask you, maybe you’re not exactly invited.

Blair: (laughs) That’s absurd.

Natalie: In my book, if you don’t get an engraved invitation in front of witnesses, it’s iffy at best.

Blair: Well, he started to mention it this afternoon, but…

(Mrs. Garrett sits between Blair and Tootie.)

Natalie: What happened?

Blair: He stopped… Well, he got a phone call. But when two minds think as one and one mind is mine, I always get what I want. Besides, why do you think he came to Bates in the first place?

Mrs. Garrett: Oh, Blair, you don’t think a boy would change schools, change countries just to take you to a dance.

Blair: (seriously) They have before… (Mrs. Garrett is befuddled and begins to fill up some of the salt shakers.) And besides, his mother had lunch with my mother last week and told her we’d be going to the cotillion together. It’s a fete complie. (Tootie looks confused.) A sure thing.

Tootie: It is if you plan on going with his mother.

Blair: Listen girls, there are two things in my life that I am sure of. (She stands up). One, that I am going to marry money. And two, that I’m going to the High Crest cotillion tomorrow night.

(She leaves with her head held high.)

Natalie: The only thing that I’m sure of in my life is that I’m sure that I’m going to wear a retainer until I’m forty.

 

[Scene: Lounge. Tootie and Natalie sit on the floor next to the coffee table as they look at the scrabble board. Mrs. Garrett is on the couch trying to decide on what word she’s going to make. Blair is sitting on the arm of the couch waiting. She looks at her watch impatiently.]

 

Tootie: Come on Mrs. Garrett, there’s a time limit you know.

Mrs. Garrett: Please, I’m working on a killer here.

Tootie: This afternoon you said you weren’t competitive.

Mrs. Garrett: It’s funny how you never stop learning about yourself.

Blair: (stands) Was that the phone? (She starts to head out.)

Tootie: Yeah, the one in dorm B.

Blair: I think this one is out of order.

Natalie: Relax Blair, you’re so uptight.

Blair: I am not uptight!

Natalie: Then how come you keep spelling words like ‘call’ and ‘phone’ and ‘dance’ and ‘kill’?

Blair: Because I am going to ‘kill’ Harrison if he does not ‘call’ me on the ‘phone’ and tell me about the ‘dance.’ (She sits on the arm of the chair.)

Natalie: As long as you’re not uptight.

Mrs. Garrett: ‘Zephyrs!’ Ha ha, ha ha.

Tootie: What?

Mrs. Garrett: ‘Z,’ ‘E,’ ‘P,’ ‘H,’ ‘Y,’ ‘R,’ ‘S.’ Oh, let’s see, that’s triple word score. Plus fifty points for using all my letters.

Tootie: Beginners luck.

Mrs. Garrett: Luck by eye, it’s skill.

Blair: This is a stupid game. (She stands up.) I don’t want to play.

Tootie: Blair, you’re just in a rotten mood because you’ve been stood up.

Blair: I have not been stood up.

Natalie: Yeah, how can she be stood up if she was never invited?

(Tootie nods in agreement. Jo comes in with her helmet on her head.)

Jo: Hey guys.

Natalie: Hi Jo.

Mrs. Garrett: Hi Jo. Did you have fun tonight?

(Blair goes to the other side of the couch and sits on the arm.)

Jo: (takes off helmet) Oh yeah, arcades always a trip. (She puts her helmet on the couch next to Mrs. Garrett.)

Blair: You and your crummy arcade.

Natalie: Anybody there?

Jo: Just a couple of friends.

Blair: (rolls her eyes) You and your crummy friends.

Jo: Well actually, your crummy friends. Well one of them anyway. Harrison was there. Stubborn son of a gun, isn’t he?

Blair: (stands up) What?

Jo: I couldn’t lose him all night. He kept following me around from skee ball to Sea Wolf to air hockey. (Blair goes over to confront her.)

Tootie: So that’s why Blair bombed out.

(Tootie nods.)

Jo: Boy, he stuck to me like flies on a no-pest strip. The only way I could get rid of him was to say I’d go out with him. (She takes off her jean jacket.)

Blair: You mean Harrison asked you out on a…a…

Tootie: Date, Blair. We call it a date.

Jo: Yeah, there’s some wingding tomorrow night.

Natalie: Could that be your wingding Blair?

Blair: I don’t go to wingdings. I go to cotillions.

Jo: Well, if that’s a dance at the High Crest Country Club, your cotillion and my wingding are the same thing.

Mrs. Garrett: (stands up and goes over to Jo and Blair) Now, let’s just talk this thing out, alright? Uh, nobody look at my letters. (Natalie and Tootie roll their eyes.) Blair, Jo, sit down. (Blair sits on the couch. Jo sits on the chair.) It’s just, you know, a miss understanding. You see, Blair hoped… (Blair gives her a look.) Uh, uh… expected… (Blair looks away.) Uh, thought. Blair thought? (Mrs. Garrett waits for Blair to nod her head.)…that she was going to be invited to the dance by Harrison and she’s been waiting all evening for his invitation. (Blair huffs.)…Uh, confirmation of his invitation.

Jo: Wait a sec, you mean poor little Blairsy has been sitting by the phone all night long, waiting for Harrison to ask her to this dance?

Tootie: Yeah.

Natalie: Yeah.

Blair: (stands up) No!

Jo: (stands up) Hey Blair, listen. Hey, I may not respect you, but I respect your turf. You want him, you got him. I won’t take your guy.

Blair: (in disbelief) Take my guy? (She puts her hand on Jo’s shoulder.) Listen, when it comes to men, the only thing you could take from me is lessens.

Jo: (throws Blair’s hand off her shoulder) Just don’t start with me. I said I’m not going. I’m trying to be nice.

Mrs. Garrett: (tries to shove herself between the two girls) She is Blair. She really is.

(Jo turns away from Blair and starts to head into the dining hall.)

Blair: (following Jo) Of course you’re not going. (Jo turns to face her.) You know when you’re out of your league. You wouldn’t subject yourself to that kind of humiliation.

Jo: (folds her arms) What humiliation?

Blair: When you drink out of the finger bowl and put ketchup on your quiche. You’ve got no business at that cotillion and you know it.

Jo: I’ve got as much business there as you do and I’ve got more. I was asked…(pauses) And you know what? I am going with your friend, so eat your heart out. (She leaves Blair standing in the middle of the dining hall. Blair follows. Jo stops at the door way and turns to face her again.) And don’t forget to put ketchup on it. (Jo leaves.)

 

[Scene: Girls’ Bedroom. Tootie takes a box from underneath her mattress. She brings it across the room and sits on Jo’s bed. Blair is lying on her stomach in her bed, her head at the foot of it. Natalie walks in and sits next to Tootie.]

 

Natalie: Isn’t this exciting?

(Tootie opens her box.)

Blair: (dully) Very.

Tootie: (pulls a blue ribbon out of the box) Who would have thought that our Jo Polniaczek would be going to a cotillion tonight?

(Blair rolls her eyes.)

Natalie: (playing with a white necklace) It’s just like Cinderella.

Tootie: Yeah, all that’s missing is the wicked stepsister.

(Tootie and Natalie realize what she has said and they both look at Blair. Blair looks back and then turns her head.)

Natalie: (gets up) Let’s go.

(Tootie follows. They get to the door just as Mrs. Garrett knocks on their door.)

Mrs. Garrett: (she comes in with a wooden spoon in her hand) How’s it coming?

Natalie: (leaves with Tootie) Jo’s almost ready.

Mrs. Garrett: Alright. (She goes over to Blair.) You okay Blair? (She sits on Blair’s bed and begins to rub Blair’s back.) I know you’re upset because Jo’s going out with Harrison tonight.

Blair: (faking happiness) Why? Because up until nine o’clock last night I thought I was going to the dance with him? No, if Harrison thinks someone like Jo can take my place at a dance like that, lots of luck. (She gets up from her bed.)

Mrs. Garrett: That sounds very snobbish.

Blair: I know, but the people at the club are snobbish. (Mrs. Garrett gets off the bed.) It’s what they do best.

(Natalie and Tootie reenter the room. Tootie shuts the door.)

Tootie: Hold onto your heads, because this will blow your minds.

(She pulls the door back open and Jo is standing in the hall in a beautiful blue dress. Her hair is pulled up nicely with a blue ribbon and she’s wearing the white necklace that Natalie was playing with earlier. She comes in with a big grin and stands next to Mrs. Garrett.)

Mrs. Garrett: Jo, you look lovely in your beautiful gown.

Blair: Ah yes, a peasant dress. Now there’s an outfit that makes a statement.

Jo: Is she starting with me or what?

Tootie: Don’t hit her. She’ll bleed on your dress.

(Natalie nods in agreement. Jo stares at Blair in anger.)

Mrs. Garrett: You look sensational.

(Jo shyly smiles.)

Blair: Excuse me, but I think I’ll go down to the kitchen and Julie Ann something.

(Blair leaves.)

Jo: I’m not sure if I can pull this off. (She goes to sit on a large trunk that’s on the floor.)

Mrs. Garrett: Oh, don’t you worry. You’ll be fine.

(Jo crosses her legs and you can see green worn out sneakers on her feet. She looks at them.

Jo: Uh oh. I knew I was too comfortable. What am I going to do? I don’t have any fancy shoes.

Mrs. Garrett: I happen to have a pair of shoes I think will be perfect.

(Jo stands up.)

Natalie: Gee, this really is like Cinderella.

Jo: Oh great, does this mean I can stay out till midnight?

Mrs. Garrett: You do and I’ll turn Harrison’s Porsche into a skateboard. (She uses her wooden spoon and taps Jo on the top of the head.) Come on.

(Natalie opens the door. Mrs. Garrett leads the way out with Jo close behind her.)

 

[Scene: Girl’s Bedroom. It’s a little later. Tootie is folding her clothes, using Jo’s bed as a table. Natalie stands next to her. Blair sits at the end of her bed.]

 

Natalie: It’s eight o’clock. What do you think Jo and Harrison are doing now?

Tootie: He’s probably saying (She tries to act gentleman-like, holding her hand out to Natalie.) May I have this waltz?

Natalie: (takes Tootie’s hand and they begin dancing) Charmed, I’m sure.

Tootie: And then they get down and boogie.

Natalie: (gets excited) Yeah!

(The two girls laugh. Blair watches with anger. She stands up. Tootie goes over to Blair.)

Tootie: Blair, I’m surprised how well you’re taking this whole thing.

Blair: (fake smiles) Why?

Tootie: Well, I thought you’d be on the bed kicking and screaming.

Blair: No… I mean… (she breaks down) why? Why her? (She lays down on the bed and begins pounding her fist into her mattress.) Why not me? Why’d he take her to my dance?

Natalie: (to Tootie) You had to open your mouth, didn’t you?

Tootie: How do we shut her up?

Natalie: Do what they do in the movies. Slap her across the face.

(The girls look at Blair, who is now laying on her bed not moving or making a noise.)

Blair: (sits up and composes herself) No, that’s not necessary. I’m fine now.

 

[Scene: Jo walks down the hallway outside her bedroom. Her hair is less orderly and she’s holding a shoe. She stops at her door and pauses as if contemplating she was going to enter. She turns and goes to the door opposite of her room, which is Mrs. Garrett’s room. She knocks. Mrs. Garrett sits at her desk typing on a receipt machine. Jo begins to open the door.]

 

Mrs. Garrett: (not looking up) Come in.

(Jo enters quietly and shuts the door. Mrs. Garrett looks over and sees that Jo isn’t happy.)

Mrs. Garrett: (taking off her glasses) Jo, are you alright? (She stands up and goes over to her.) Were you in an accident?

Jo: (huffs) It was no accident. Mr. Harrison Andrews had it all planed.

Mrs. Garrett: Well, didn’t he take you to the club?

Jo: Well actually he took me through the club and out the back door to the ninth green.

Mrs. Garrett: Wasn’t it a little dark to play golf?

Jo: Yeah, but golf wasn’t what he had in mind.

Mrs. Garrett: What? Oh no.

Jo: Before I knew what happened, he pushed me down in this big sand trap and was saying, ‘Relax. Get comfortable. Pretend it’s Jones Beach.’

Mrs. Garrett: Harrison? That rotten creep.

Jo: I’m usually such a good judge of character. What he tried… I never expected… I mean a guy with his background… He’s supposed to be a gentleman.

Mrs. Garrett: Why, cause he can yodel in three different languages?

Jo: Look at me, I’m a mess. Can I hang out here till the girls go to sleep? I don’t want to have to explain what happened. (Mrs. Garrett puts her arms out and leads her to sit down on a trunk at the bottom of her bed.) What a joke… You know, Mrs. Garrett, I had this crazy idea about how a cotillion would be… All the guys would ask me to dance. Everyone would be whispering, ‘Whose that classy girl? Where’d she come from?’ (She looks at Mrs. Garrett, her eyes glassy.) And I’d be treated like I belonged there. I wanted to make you proud of me.

Mrs. Garrett: Oh, I am proud of you. (Jo lowers her head onto her chest and begins to cry silently. Mrs. Garrett rocks her slowly.)  Harrison put you in a terrible position tonight. (She stops rocking. Jo looks up.) I mean… what he did is inexcusable. (Jo ducks her head again and Mrs. Jo goes back to rocking her.) And you handled it with such dignity…Grace… (She puts her hand under Jo’s chin and gently lifts Jo’s head up.) Class. (She looks at Jo with pride. Jo smiles. Mrs. Garrett wraps her arms around Jo and rocks her.) Course, a part of me wishes you’d hauled off and hit him with something.

Jo: (sits up) Oh, I did… (She smiles sadly.) You see, that’s what happened with your other shoe.

(Mrs. Garrett laughs and puts her forehead against Jo’s. Jo hugs her.)

 

[Scene: Girls’ Room: Blair stands in front of a mirror. Tootie and Natalie are still folding clothes.]

Blair: (moves away from the mirror) The point is, Jo’s not smarter than I am. She’s certainly not prettier than I am.

Tootie: Try nicer Blair.

Blair: (pauses and then shakes her head) No, it’s not that. What does she have that I don’t have?

Natalie: A motorcycle.

Blair: Pardon?

Natalie: The thing about a person with a motorcycle is you never know what they’re going to do next. Jo’s adventurous.

Blair: Crazy.

Natalie: Girls like that are unpredictable. I read about it in Teen Magazine. And that’s what attracts Harrison.

Blair: Why?

Natalie: (rolls her eyes) Because, Harrison is in a state of flux.

Tootie: (looks confused) What’s flux?

Natalie: It’s what comes in between adolescence and law school.

Tootie: Oh, you mean rebellion?

Blair: Well, if he wanted to rebel, why didn’t he just say so? I would have rebelled with him.

Natalie: Blair, to you, rebellion is using your salad fork all through dinner. Jo’s raised rebellion into an art form.

Blair: (points to Jo’s stuff) But look at all this junk. What is so attractive about this? (She picks up a glove.) And, and this? (She picks up a wrench.) What does a guy see in a girl who buys her clothes and her spark plugs in the same place?

Tootie: Well, she’s got to be doing something right because she’s at the dance and you’re not.

Blair: (picks up Jo’s motorcycle jacket) But look at this. (She puts it on.) Look. This looks absolutely…(She looks into the mirror.) wonderful. I can even make this look wonderful. I could start a whole new trend. Punk chic.

Natalie: Forget it Blair. You’re not very convincing as a Hell’s Angel. Come on Tootie, let’s go downstairs and get something to eat.

(She leads the way out the door. Tootie follows. Blair continues to look into the mirror and tries to look like she’s got a tough attitude.)

 

[Scene: Dining hall. Natalie and Tootie enter.]

 

Natalie: Let’s go check out the candy machine.

(Harrison stands in the middle of the room holding Jo’s shoe.)

Harrison: Uh, hi.

Tootie: Harrison, what are you doing here?

Harrison: I, uh, I came here to return Jo’s shoe.

Natalie: What’d you do with the rest of her?

Harrison: She came home early.

Natalie: Well, we’ll go find her for you. (They start to go.)

Harrison: (blocks them) Oh, look, that’s not really necessary. Uh, you could just give her this for me.

(Natalie looks at Tootie confused. Harrison starts to head towards the kitchen. Blair enters with Jo’s jacket, motorcycle hat, and gloves on. Harrison stops.)

Blair: Okay guys, you still say I’m not convincing. (She stops when she sees him.) Harrison.

Harrison: (amused) Blair? (Natalie and Tootie leave to go to another room. Harrison chuckles.) Blair. You look…

Blair: Adventurous? Unpredictable? Flawless?

Harrison: Ridiculous is the word that comes to mind.

Blair: What do you mean?

Harrison: (chuckles) Well, it’s just not you, Blair. I mean you’re Harper’s Bazaar, not Popular Mechanics.

Blair: I know you know I’m perfect. Sometimes people need a break from perfection. Especially when they’re in flux.

Harrison: Flux?

Blair: Look, I understand how a person has steak every night can get a sudden craving for… a sloppy joe.

Harrison: A sloppy joe? Ah, I get it. You’re upset because I took out your roommate.

Blair: Upset? No. Surprised. Humiliated. How could you take her to the club?

Harrison: Well Blair, I didn’t exactly take her to the club, I took her behind the club.

(Jo enters. Her hair’s now fully down. Blair looks at Harrison confused.)

Blair: What are you talking about?

Harrison: Listen, you know how it is. Look, if I was going there dance, I would have had you on my arm. But what I was after tonight was a little, uh, putting action on the ninth green.

Blair: And you expected Jo to let you… play through?

Harrison: Sure. That kind of girl usually does. (Jo watches in anger, her arms folded across her chest.) After all, I’m only human.

Blair: Oh and of course, you’re too much of a gentleman to sully me with your animal needs.

Harrison: Exactly.

Blair: You’re not in flux, you’re in heat.

Harrison: Blair, be sensible. Look, you’re the kind of girl men want in their future.

Blair: Oh and Jo’s the kind of girl men need in their past.

(Jo watches silently.)

Harrison: I knew you’d understand.

Blair: Oh, I understand perfectly. What you’re saying are there’s two kinds of women. The kind you marry and the kind you… don’t.

Jo: That’s exactly what he’s saying. (Harrison looks over at her in surprise.)

Blair: (goes over to her) How can you let him say that? Do something. Deck him.

Jo: I already did that.

Harrison: Well I, uh, guess I’d better leave.

Blair: Nahoo buster, you stick around here. I’ll deck you. (Blair runs at him. Harrison tries to get away. Jo stops Blair by catching her arm.)

Jo: Blair! Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair.

Harrison: Um (He puts Jo’s shoe on the table.) Say hi to your mom for me. (He runs out.)

Blair: (trying to struggle out of Jo’s hold) Yeah, I’ll tell her what a sleaze you are.

Jo: Hey, cool it, cool it. (Jo lets her go.)

Blair: I haven’t been this upset since the price of gold went down.

Jo: How come you got so crazy?

Blair: He insulted you.

Jo: Yeah, but you do that all the time.

Blair: Yeah, but, but that’s different. When I do it, I know what I’m talking about. (Jo looks at her and folds her arms across her chest.) Why do guys act that way? One minute they’re jumping to conclusions, the next minute they’re jumping on you.

Jo: Well, I guess when you come from the wrong side of the tracks, guys think you’re easy.

Blair: Listen, they think that when you come from the right side too. Heck, I own the tracks and some of them are thinking about me.

Jo: Boy, you and me with the same problem. No one would ever believe that.

Blair: (smiles) Well, we just won’t tell anyone, huh?

(Jo smiles back. They begin to head back to the stairs. Blair stops Jo and they grin at each other. The credits roll
 

END OF EPISODE

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