STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
"Rules of Acquisition"
(fka "Profit Margin")
#40512-427
Story by
Hilary Bader
Teleplay by
Ira Steven Behr
Directed by
David Livingston
THE WRITING CREDITS MAY NOT BE FINAL AND SHOULD NOT BE USED
FOR PUBLICITY OR ADVERTISING PURPOSES WITHOUT FIRST CHECKING
WITH THE TELEVISION LEGAL DEPARTMENT.
Copyright 1993 Paramount Pictures Corporation. All Rights
Reserved. This script is not for publication or
reproduction. No one is authorized to dispose of same. If
lost or destroyed, please notify the Script Department.
Return to Script Department FINAL DRAFT
PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION
September 3, 1993
STAR TREK: DS9 - "Rules Of... " - 09/03/93 - CAST
STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
"Rules of Acquisition"
CAST
SISKO PEL
KIRA ZEK
ODO INGLATU
QUARK ZYREE
BASHIR
DAX
0'BRIEN
ROM
Non-Speaking Non-Speaking
MORN MAIHAR'DU
SUPERNUMERARIES
STAR TREK: DS9 - "Rules of... " - 09/03/93 - SETS
STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
"Rules of Acquisition"
SETS
INTERIORS EXTERIORS
DEEP SPACE NINE DEEP SPACE NINE
COMMANDER'S OFFICE
CORRIDOR DOSI HOMEWORLD
INFIRMARY
OPS FERENGI SHIP
PROMENADE
QUARK'S
QUARK'S QUARTERS
REPLIMAT
PEL'S QUARTERS
DOSI MEETING HALL
TENT SLEEPING QUARTERS
FERENGI SHIP
STAR TREK: DS9 - "Rules of... " - 09/09/93 - PRONUNCIATION
STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
"Rules of Acquisition"
PRONUNCIATION GUIDE
DOSI DOE-zi
DRAMILIAN DRAH-mill-ian
HUPYRIAN HUE-pie-ree-an
INGLATU ing-GLAH-too
KAREMMA CAR-em-ma
KIBBERIAN KY-beer-ian
LOKAR LOW-car
MAIHAR'DU MAY-har-doo
MISOGYNISTIC MISS-ah-gin-is-tic
NAGUS NAY-gus
TULABERRY TOO-luh-berry
ZYREE ZI-ree
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - TEASER 1.
STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
"Rules of Acquisition"
TEASER
FADE IN:
1 INT. PROMENADE - NIGHT
There's not much activity on either level. Most of the shops
are closed.
1A ANGLE ON MORN
Asleep on the Promenade couch. Suddenly a hand reaches in
and shakes him awake.
1B NEW ANGLE
It's ODO, making the rounds.
ODO
All right, Morn. You know the rules.
No sleeping on the Promenade. Go
home.
Morn gets up and shuffles off to his quarters. Odo watches
him go, then turns and continues his rounds, passing...
1C OUTSIDE QUARK'S
Which is locked tight. But as we push in on the bar's
shuttered windows, we hear muffled voices and the clank of
latinum.
2 INT. QUARK'S
QUARK, ROM, and three of their Ferengi employees, including
PEL, are seated around a table playing tongo, a popular
Ferengi game best described as a cross between poker, mah-
jongg, and craps. As with most games, the players' actions
seem incomprehensible to any observer unfamiliar with its
rules. The Ferengi appear to be simultaneously tossing in
and pulling out strips of latinum from a central pot, throwing
down oval shaped playing cards and frantically rolling dice;
all with a level of intensity and reckless pace that is closer
to combat than recreation.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - TEASER 1A.
Suddenly the betting abruptly ceases and all eyes turn
suspiciously to a sixth, previously unseen, player seated to
the right of Quark.
3 NEW ANGLE
close on DAX, the only non-Ferengi at the table, and
apparently the equivalent of the bank for this round of play.
She studies her hand carefully, shrewdly appraises the
expectant faces surrounding her.
4 ANGLE ON THE TABLE
A smiling Quark leans closer over to Dax.
QUARK
The risk is to you, Lieutenant.
DAX
(eyes the table)
I could probably think better without
your hand on my thigh.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - TEASER 2.
4 CONTINUED:
Quark looks down at Dax's lap with feigned innocence.
QUARK
Now, how did that get there?
He removes the offending digits while leering proudly at his
fellow Ferengis. They leer back, Dax being a popular object
of desire among them.
QUARK
(to Dax)
So what's it gonna be? Confront?
Evade? Acquire? Retreat?
Dax reaches her decision. She throws down her cards and
rolls her dice.
DAX
(a challenge)
Confront.
The players excitedly check their hands against Dax's. As
the truth dawns on them, they issue disgruntled groans.
DAX
(triumphant)
Yes.
She rakes in her winnings.
ROM
(depressed)
Doesn't she ever lose?
QUARK
(gazing with admiration
at Dax)
Tell me, Lieutenant, how did you get
to be so good at tongo?
DAX
Actually, Curzon used to play it all
the time.
ROM
Well, that explains it. It's Curzon
who's beating us, not this female.
DAX
This female happens to be a better
player than Curzon ever was.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - TEASER 3.
4 CONTINUED: (2)
QUARK
(flirting)
And a prettier one too.
ROM
Maybe so. But I still prefer a
Ferengi female.
(wistful)
One who never wears clothes, never
talks back, and never plays tongo.
DAX
(to Quark)
Is that how you really prefer your
women? Naked and submissive.
QUARK
Do you find such a lifestyle
appealing?
DAX
Don't you wish.
QUARK
Oh I do. I really do.
Quark smiles seductively, but Dax puts back on her game face
and turns her attention to the table.
DAX
All right everyone. The opening
risk is five strips of latinum. The
purchase is at three. The sell at
eight.
The players begin another round of frenzied betting.
5 ANGLE ROM
shaking his head as Pel whispers to him.
ROM
(louder than intended)
No, absolutely not. This isn't the
proper time.
6 ANGLE ON THE TABLE
as Quark elbows Rom in the ribs.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - TEASER 4.
6 CONTINUED:
QUARK
I'm trying to concentrate.
ROM
I'm sorry, Brother.
(re: Pel)
It's this insolent young waiter's
fault.
PEL
My apologies, Quark. But I really
think you should try this.
Pel reaches past Rom and places a hand in front of Quark.
7 INSERT HAND
a half dozen peas sit in the palm.
QUARK (O.S.)
What is it?
8 BACK TO SCENE
PEL
A way to double your beverage profits.
Taste it.
Quark, always on the lookout for ways to improve business,
eats a pea and while trying to make up his mind whether he
likes it, reaches over and takes a sip from his glass. Pel
points in excitement.
PEL
You see.
(to Rom)
Just as I told you. He immediately
reached for his drink.
Quark looks at the glass in his hand.
QUARK
So I did.
Quark eats another pea, and sure enough, he takes another
sip of his drink.
QUARK
(impressed)
Amazing. You don't even realize
you're thirsty. What are they?
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - TEASER 5.
8 CONTINUED:
PEL
Gramilian Sand Peas. They inhibit
secretion of the salivary glands
while drying out the tissues of the
tongue. Works every time. You
replace your complimentary dishes of
lokar beans with sand peas and you
won't be able to fill your customers'
glasses fast enough.
Sounds good to Quark. He studies Pel.
QUARK
What's your name again?
PEL
Pel... so what do you think about my
idea?
QUARK
I think I agree with the fifty-ninth
Rule of Acquisition, "Free advice is
seldom cheap."
PEL
True, but the twenty-second rule
says, "A wise man can hear profit in
the wind."
QUARK
(touche)
I see you know your Rules.
PEL
All two hundred and eighty-five of
them. And the various commentaries
as well.
(a beat)
I don't plan on being a waiter
forever.
ROM
Good. Then you're fired.
QUARK
Shut up, Rom.
(to Pel)
When it comes to business, my brother
has the weak little lobes of a female.
(a beat)
So what made you take a job here at
the station?
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - TEASER 6.
8 CONTINUED: (2)
PEL
(smiles at Quark)
I wanted to learn from the best.
QUARK
(nods sagely)
Which brings to mind the thirty-third
Rule of Acquisition...
QUARK AND PEL
"It never hurts to suck up to the
boss."
They chuckle amicably. There's a real rapport between these
two that Dax picks up on. Rom can see it too and it leaves
him seething with jealousy. But before he can protest, we
hear a CHIME emanate from the bar area. Quark holds up a
hand for silence as he listens.
DAX
What's that?
QUARK
It's Grand Nagus Zek's personal
subspace frequency.
ROM
I wonder what he wants.
9 NEW ANGLE
Quark hurries over behind the bar to the wall monitor. He
hits a key pad and...
10 INSERT MONITOR (OPTICAL)
The crafty wizened face of GRAND NAGUS ZEK appears on screen.
ZEK
Why do you look so surprised? I
told you I'd be back.
11 ANGLE QUARK (INTERCUT AS NEEDED) (OPTICAL)
QUARK
I've looked forward to your return,
Nagus.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - TEASER 7.
11 CONTINUED:
ZEK
Still the perfect little toady, eh,
Quark?
QUARK
(modestly)
I try to be.
ZEK
Then listen carefully. The Ferengi
expansion into the Gamma Quadrant is
about to begin. I'd like you to be
my chief negotiator.
QUARK
Me?
ZEK
That's right. I'm offering you an
opportunity to make more profit than
you ever dreamed of.
(a beat)
All you have to do is earn it.
12 CLOSE ON QUARK
His head already swimming in a sea of latinum.
FADE OUT.
END OF TEASER
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT ONE 8.
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
(NOTE: Episode credits fall over opening scenes)
13 INT. COMMANDER'S OFFICE
SISKO and KIRA are meeting with Zek. Maihar'du, his
everpresent Hupyrian servant, stands guard behind him. Zek
offers Sisko and Kira a small latinum container.
ZEK
Can I interest anyone in some Hupyrian
beetle snuff?
SISKO
I don't think so.
ZEK
Major?
KIRA
(not a chance)
No, thank you.
ZEK
Suit yourself... more for me.
He inserts a generous helping of snuff up each nostril.
There's a beat, and then he lets loose a thunderous, particle-
rich sneeze.
Sisko and Kira exchange disgusted glances. Maihar'du leans
over and offers Zek a silk handkerchief.
ZEK
(grabs it out of his
hand)
A little late, aren't we?
He fastidiously wipes his nose.
ZEK
So, you wanted to see me, Commander?
SISKO
I understand that you're planning to
host a business conference here at
the station.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/10/93 - ACT ONE 9.
13 CONTINUED:
ZEK
With the Dosi, a race from the Gamma
Quadrant. A very profitable
opportunity for all concerned, I
might add.
KIRA
(she can't help herself)
Profitable for the Ferengi, maybe.
ZEK
Are you implying something, Major?
KIRA
(innocent)
Me? Not at all. The Ferengi's
reputation speaks for itself.
ZEK
A reputation of honesty, decency,
and reliability. You always know
what to expect when you do business
with the Ferengi.
KIRA
Which is why, if you're smart, you
don't do business with the Ferengi...
SISKO
I think you've made your point, Major.
ZEK
As misinformed and misguided as it
may be. Besides, how we do business
is none of your concern.
SISKO
Except when you conduct your business
on this station.
KIRA
In other words, Zek, Grand Nagus or
no Grand Nagus, if we allow you to
hold these negotiations here, and we
find out you're cheating these Dosi,
I'll see to it that you never set
foot on this station again.
Zek gives Kira his most ingratiating smile,
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/10/93 - ACT ONE 9A.
13 CONTINUED: (2)
ZEK
Did anyone ever tell you your eyes
shine with the brilliance of Kibberian
fire diamonds.
KIRA
(coldly)
Not that I recall.
ZEK
Well they do.
Zek cozies up to Kira and places his hand on hers.
ZEK
Tell me, Major, could Bajor use fifty
thousand kilos of Brizeen nitrate?
KIRA
Of course we could. With that much
Brizeen, we could fertilize the entire
northern peninsula.
ZEK
Well I've recently come into
possession of fifty thousand kilos
of Brizeen nitrate. And to show you
how much your cooperation means to
me, I'll let you have the entire
shipment.
Kira looks over at Sisko. That's a tough offer to refuse.
SISKO
I'll still need your assurances that
the Dosi will be treated fairly while
they're here.
ZEK
You have my word.
(a beat)
Then it's settled.
(to Kira)
Let's see, that's fifty thousand
kilos at... twenty-five percent off
our usual price.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT ONE 10.
13 CONTINUED: (3)
SISKO
Twenty-five percent? You just said
you were giving it to them.
ZEK
You're right, Commander. We're all
friends here. I'll let you have it
at cost.
SISKO
I have a better idea. Why not
consider the nitrate a gift to the
people of Bajor.
ZEK
(frowning)
A gift. That doesn't sound very
profitable.
SISKO
That depends.
ZEK
On what?
SISKO
On whether you want to conduct
business here or not.
A beat, then Zek cackles in approval.
ZEK
Your negotiation skills aren't bad...
for a human.
He gets up and pats Kira's shoulder.
ZEK
Your nitrate will be delivered
promptly. Anything else you need,
please come see me personally.
And with an affectionate squeeze on her arm, he EXITS,
followed by Maihar'du.
14 HOLD ON SISKO AND KIRA
both wondering if they made the right decision.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT ONE 11.
15 INT. QUARK'S QUARTERS
Zek is seated in Quark's most comfortable chair. Quark sits
nearby, the eager pupil learning at the foot of his master.
Meanwhile, Maihar'du carefully and laboriously combs Zek's
lobe hair.
ZEK
You know Quark, I've been involved
in some profitable opportunities in
my time. But my lobes are telling
me this may be the most profitable
opportunity in Ferengi history.
QUARK
Imagine that. And part of those
profits will be mine.
ZEK
Profit. Fame. Power. As much as
you want.
Quark can't stand the anticipation.
QUARK
Tell me, Nagus, what exactly is this
great opportunity.
ZEK
I can sum it up in one word...
tulaberries.
QUARK
(not what he expected
to hear)
Tulaberries?
ZEK
Exactly.
QUARK
(still doesn't get it)
Go on.
ZEK
They're the main ingredient in
tulaberry wine. Your job is to
purchase ten thousand vats from the
Dosi.
QUARK
We're going into the wine business?
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT ONE 12.
15 CONTINUED:
ZEK
(nods)
Within a year we'll have made
tulaberry wine the most popular drink
in their entire sector.
Quark waits for more, but Zek waves Maihar'du away.
ZEK
That's enough.
He checks his servant's handiwork in a small vanity mirror.
ZEK
Yes, I like it. Very distinguished.
Maihar'du bows his head in grateful acknowledge.
QUARK
Tell me, Nagus, how are tulaberries
going to be the most profitable
opportunity in Ferengi history?
ZEK
(annoyed)
Do I have to spell it out for you?
QUARK
If you don't mind...
ZEK
The tulaberries establish a Ferengi
presence inside the Gamma Quadrant.
And once we get our foot in the door,
they'll never get it out.
QUARK
(the light dawns)
Yes, I see...
ZEK
(with a conspiratorial
smile)
Tulaberries, Quark. Tulaberries.
16 INT. QUARK'S
Usual crowd. Quark and Rom at the bar.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT ONE 13.
16 CONTINUED:
ROM
Tulaberries? I wonder what they
taste like?
Pel comes over with an empty tray. Rom begins loading up a
new order.
QUARK
Who cares what they taste like.
They're an opportunity to get a
Ferengi foot in the Gamma Quadrant
door.
ROM
And it'll be your foot, brother.
I'm so proud.
QUARK
I'm going to make history, Rom. And
I'm going to be rich.
(as it sinks in)
And I have the Grand Nagus to thank
for it. He must really like me.
Pel, having overheard their discussion, looks over at Quark.
PEL
Just remember one thing, "The bigger
the smile, the sharper the knife."
QUARK
The forty-eighth Rule of Acquisition.
PEL
I'd keep it in mind if I were you.
Pel walks off with the tray of drinks.
ROM
(indignant)
He has some nerve.
But Quark doesn't answer. He's too busy trying to interpret
Pel's words.
ROM
I warned you about that fellow.
Pel comes back with the empty tray. Starts loading up again.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT ONE 14.
16 CONTINUED: (2)
QUARK
You mind telling me what you meant
just now?
PEL
Did you ever think about why the
Nagus is putting you in charge of
such a lucrative opportunity?
QUARK
Isn't it obvious? He knows I have
the lobes for business.
PEL
(shrugs)
That's only part of it.
ROM
(to Pel)
I refuse to stand here and allow my
brother to be insulted. You're fired.
QUARK
Shut up.
(to Pel)
Go on.
PEL
If these negotiations are profitable,
then the Nagus becomes a greater
hero than ever. But if they fail,
he's going to need someone to take
the blame.
QUARK
You mean me?
PEL
All I'm saying is be careful.
And he's gone again.
ROM
I never heard such ridiculous lies.
He's just jealous of your success,
Brother.
But Quark knows better.
QUARK
(doomed)
He's right. If something goes wrong,
it'll be my fault.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT ONE 15.
16 CONTINUED: (3)
ROM
Then you're going to need help,
Brother.
QUARK
Yes.
ROM
Someone to serve as your consultant
during negotiations.
QUARK
Yes.
ROM
Someone like me.
QUARK
No.
Pel returns to the bar, begins loading up another tray.
Quark stops him.
QUARK
I've been thinking about what you
said. I probably could use some
help during these negotiations.
Pel doesn't miss a beat.
PEL
I accept.
QUARK
Good.
PEL
Then we're partners.
QUARK
(smiles)
Not quite. I don't need a partner.
I need an assistant.
PEL
All right. But I get twenty-five
percent of whatever you make.
QUARK
Fifteen.
PEL
Twenty.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT ONE 16.
16 CONTINUED: (4)
QUARK
Done.
Rom can't believe what he's hearing.
ROM
But Brother, what can I do to help.
QUARK
You want to help?
Quark takes Pel's tray and shoves it at Rom.
QUARK
Table Six is waiting.
Rom goes to protest, thinks better of it and slumps away
with the tray. Quark, his fears quieted, smiles at the
retreating figure of his brother.
17 CLOSE ON PEL
Staring secretly at Quark, eyes glowing with affection.
18 INT. PEL'S QUARTERS
Small and functional. The door slides open. Pel ENTERS,
stops in front of a mirror to admire the image staring back,
then goes to a closet and takes out a twenty-fourth century
carrying case, placing it on a ledge in front of the mirror.
Pel opens the case up (we don't see its contents) and then
stares back for a beat at the mirror before reaching up and
gently PULLING OFF HIS LOBES revealing the small delicately
shaped ears of a Ferengi female. Yes, that's right, Quark's
assistant and friend is really a woman.
She carefully places the synthetic ears into the case which
we now see houses two extra pair of lobes. The interior of
the case has all kinds of tech devices to keep them looking
and feeling real. Pel then takes off her jacket revealing
the outline of her breasts.
And as she studies her reflection in the mirror we...
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 17.
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
19 INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE AIRLOCK
Sisko, Kira, Quark, Zek and Maihar'du await the arrival of
the Dosi.
20 ANGLE QUARK
who keeps fidgeting with his clothes.
QUARK
(to Sisko)
How do I look?
SISKO
Nervous.
This only increases Quark's anxiety. After all, this is the
biggest deal he's ever taken part in.
QUARK
Who me? What do I have to be nervous
about?
KIRA
It's Zek who should be nervous...
with Quark here as his chief
negotiator.
Quark glances at Kira, who suddenly flinches as if someone
has just pinched her bottom.
21 NEW ANGLE
Kira slowly turns to confront an innocent-looking Zek.
KIRA
(forcing herself to
remain calm)
If you ever do that again...
ZEK
Do what?
KIRA
If you ever do that again, I'll stick
those fifty thousand kilos of
Brizeen...
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT TWO 17A.
21 CONTINUED:
But before she can finish, the airlock gate begins to slide
open.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 18.
21 CONTINUED: (2)
QUARK
(tense)
Here they come.
Everyone prepares themselves to meet the Dosi when suddenly
22 NEW ANGLE
A Dosi (quietly menacing, but vain and impeccably dressed,
Gamma Quadrant aliens) is flung headfirst out of the airlock.
He smashes into the wall between Quark and Maihar'du and
slumps to the floor stunned. Sisko and Kira prepare for
trouble as INGLATU, another Dosi, steps out of the airlock.
He adjusts his wardrobe and then speaks in a soft but
dangerous voice.
INGLATU
Don't worry, just a minor
disagreement.
23 NEW ANGLE
Sisko and Kira react to Zek's guests.
24 ANGLE QUARK
knowing he has his work cut out for him.
25 INT. QUARK'S QUARTERS (OPTICAL)
Quark and Pel sit across a table from Inglatu and another
Dosi, ZYREE, a powerfully built woman. The Dosi sit
impassively, staring at Quark as if daring him to make an
offer. Quark is intimidated at the underlying threat of
impending violence, but with Pel's silent prompting, Quark
decides to plunge in.
QUARK
(false bravado)
So, can I get anyone something to
eat?
The Dosi regard him with silent contempt.
QUARK
All right, in that case, let's go
over our offer.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT TWO 18A.
25 CONTINUED:
QUARK
(still no response)
As you know, the Ferengi are
interested in purchasing ten thousand
vats of tulaberry wine.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 19.
25 CONTINUED: (2)
QUARK
And in exchange, the Dosi will receive
what I consider a very fair trade
package.
Quark hands Inglatu a Ferengi PADD.
PEL
There are some very interesting items
on that list. A subspace field
modulator, some optical data
processors...
Inglatu studies the information then looks up at Quark.
INGLATU
(softly)
We'll give you five thousand vats.
QUARK
I'm afraid that won't be enough.
(smiling)
We're looking to establish a vast
distribution network in the Gamma
Quadrant. We're going to need at
least ten thousand vats.
INGLATU
I'm offering you five thousand vats.
I suggest you take it.
PEL
The Nagus will never agree.
Zyree leans over to Inglatu.
ZYREE
This is a waste of time. We should
be talking directly to Zek.
INGLATU
I know we should be talking to Zek.
ZYREE
(re: Quark)
Then why do you bother talking to
this insignificance?
Inglatu looks over at Quark who's at a loss to respond.
INGLATU
Now see what you've done.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 19A.
25 CONTINUED: (3)
QUARK
What?
INGLATU
You've made me look foolish.
QUARK
I didn't mean to.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 20.
25 CONTINUED: (4)
ZYREE
Then bring us Zek.
PEL
(with an edge)
The Nagus has asked Quark to represent
him during these negotiations.
ZYREE
Are you implying that Zek is too
important to negotiate with us?
QUARK
We never meant to imply...
Inglatu snaps the PADD in half.
INGLATU
Because if we kill you, then Zek
will have to talk to us.
But Pel ignores the threat.
PEL
You want to do business with the
Ferengi... you talk to Quark.
A long beat as Inglatu and Zyree confer privately. Then
Inglatu gives Quark that lizard stare.
QUARK
So, how about it? Do we say ten
thousand vats?
INGLATU
We'll think about it.
Quark and Pel smile hopefully, but the Dosi still look grim.
26 INT. OPS
Kira and Dax at their stations. Supernumeraries as needed.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 21.
27 NEW ANGLE
As Maihar'du exits a Turbolift and passes by O'BRIEN, who has
just stepped out of the systems core where he's been making
repairs..
O'BRIEN
Can I help you?
Maihar'du walks past O'Brien and approaches Kira. He hands
her a small box.
KIRA
What is it?
He waits impassively for her to open it. She does and takes
out a gold-pressed Bajoran earring. Dax joins her at the Ops
table.
DAX
It's beautiful.
KIRA
It's latinum.
SHE LOOKS UP TO SEE
28 MAIHAR'DU
already headed back toward the Turbolift.
KIRA
Excuse me. I really can't accept
this.
Maihar'du enters the Turbolift and descends out of sight.
29 ANGLE KIRA AND DAX
Kira puts the earring back in the box.
KIRA
Does Zek really think this was going
to get him anywhere?
DAX
Probably not. But that doesn't stop
a Ferengi from trying.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 22.
29 CONTINUED:
KIRA
You sound like you admire them for
it.
DAX
I suppose in a way I do.
KIRA
(shakes her head in
amusement)
I don't understand this attitude you
have about the Ferengi.
DAX
That's because you don't socialize
with them the way I do. Looking
back over seven lifetimes, I can't
think of a single race I've enjoyed
more.
KIRA
Did anyone ever tell you that you
have very strange taste?
Dax shrugs. She has heard it before and she could care less.
DAX
I admit they place too much emphasis
on profit, and their behavior toward
women is somewhat primitive...
KIRA
They're greedy, misogynistic,
untrustworthy little trolls and I
wouldn't turn my back on one of them
for a second.
DAX
Neither would I. But once you accept
that, you'll find they can be a lot
of fun.
And with that Dax goes back to her station. An amused Kira
can only shake her head at her friend's eccentricity.
30 EXT. SPACE - DEEP SPACE NINE (OPTICAL)
Establishing.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT TWO 23.
31 INT. QUARK'S - NIGHT
Another after-hours tongo game is in progress. Dax, Quark,
Rom, Pel and the other usual players are joined by Zek (with
Maihar'du stationed behind him as always). The betting is
fierce.
ROM
Evade.
PEL
Evade.
QUARK
Retreat.
ZEK
Acquire.
DAX
Confront.
All cards are exposed. Dax reaches for the pot. Zek holds
up a restraining hand.
ZEK
Did I say acquire? I meant evade.
DAX
You said acquire.
ZEK
But I meant evade.
Quark tries to play peacemaker.
QUARK
Why don't we just play the round
over.
ROM
That sounds fair.
ZEK
(to Rom)
Who asked you?
(to Quark)
And shouldn't you be plotting strategy
for tomorrow's negotiations?
QUARK
Believe me, Nagus, I've thought about
nothing else all evening.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 24.
31 CONTINUED:
ROM
That must be why you're losing so
badly.
QUARK
(to Zek)
But I think by tomorrow we should
have an agreement.
ZEK
Well I've been thinking, too, and
ten thousand vats of tulaberry wine
isn't enough. Tell them we want a
hundred thousand.
QUARK
A hundred thousand? But I'm not
sure they'll even agree to sell us
ten thousand.
ZEK
A hundred thousand vats will mean
more profit for them... and for us.
(an order)
Now do as I say, or I'll take over
the negotiations myself.
Before Quark can respond --
PEL
I think raising the stakes is a
brilliant idea.
ZEK
Do you?
PEL
It'll show the Gamma Quadrant we
mean business. No wonder Quark says
you're a genius.
Zek looks over at Quark.
ZEK
He says that, does he?
QUARK
All the time.
ZEK
That's very touching.
He shoves a bowl toward Quark.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 24A.
31 CONTINUED: (2)
ZEK
Now bring me some fresh tube grubs.
These are losing their crunch.
QUARK
Right away.
Quark leaves the table. Zek hands Pel the deck of cards.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 25.
31 CONTINUED: (3)
ZEK
I believe the next challenge goes to
you.
Pel, whose eyes remain on Quark passes the deck over to Rom.
PEL
I think I'll pass on this round.
She gets up and goes to join Quark.
32 TIGHT ON ZEK AND DAX
watching her walk off.
ZEK
Such loyalty must be... expensive.
DAX
You can't buy that kind of loyalty.
ZEK
You can where I come from.
33 ANGLE THE BAR
As Pel joins a worried Quark.
PEL
Is the Nagus always this impatient?
Quark takes the bowl behind the counter and refills it from
a bigger bowl, grabbing a handful of grubs with his fist.
QUARK
He wants results. And he expects me
to get them. But he's not making my
job any easier. A hundred thousand
vats... that's a lot of tulaberries.
PEL
You'll get them.
QUARK
How can you be so sure?
PEL
Because you're good. And with me
helping you, you're even better.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT TWO 25A.
33 CONTINUED:
And we hold for a beat as they stare at one another. Quark
doesn't realize it, but there's some pretty heavy duty sexual
tension flying back and forth between them.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 26.
33 CONTINUED: (2)
QUARK
(smiling)
Why are you being so nice to me?
PEL
For twenty percent of your profits,
why else?
QUARK
(convinced)
Fair enough.
ZEK (O.S.)
Where are my grubs?
Quark, holding the smaller bowl of tube grubs, and Pel hurry
back to the table.
34 TIGHT ON DAX
Watching Quark and Pel. Something about that relationship
strikes her as odd, but she can't figure out what it is.
35 INT. REPLIMAT - DAY
Pel is eating alone as --
DAX (O.S.)
I didn't know the Replimat had a
Ferengi menu.
36 NEW ANGLE
to include Dax carrying a mug of Raktajino.
PEL
It doesn't. I like to try new things.
Dax sits down beside her.
DAX
That's unusual for a Ferengi.
PEL
I never heard of a Trill who played
tongo.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT TWO 26A.
36 CONTINUED:
DAX
I guess that makes us both unusual.
You know I was impressed by your
show of loyalty to Quark last night.
PEL
He deserves it.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT TWO 27.
36 CONTINUED: (2)
DAX
That's not the point. Any other
Ferengi would have let Zek pick him
to pieces.
(a beat, thoughtful)
But you're not like any other Ferengi
I ever met.
Pel clearly is uncomfortable with Dax's scrutiny, looks to
change the subject.
PEL
You know Quark really likes you. He
talks about you all the time.
DAX
(smiling at the memory)
He once convinced me to go up to a
holosuite with him. Turns out he
had recreated the bedroom I slept in
as a child. He overheard me
describing it to Kira.
(a beat)
Of course, he got most of the details
wrong, but it was a very sweet
gesture... up until he tried to kiss
me.
PEL
That sounds like Quark.
DAX
I don't care what anyone says, I
love him.
PEL
(nodding)
So do I.
And there's something in the simple certainty of Pel's remark
that convinces Dax she's telling the truth.
DAX
(realizing)
You really do, don't you?
PEL
What?
DAX
Love Quark. Don't bother denying
it. I've seen the way you look at
him.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT TWO 28.
36 CONTINUED: (3)
A flustered Pel looks around the Replimat to make sure no
one is listening.
PEL
Keep your voice down.
DAX
Does he know?
PEL
He doesn't even know I'm a female.
That really catches Dax by surprise.
DAX
You're a woman?
PEL
Would you please lower your voice?
DAX
I knew there was something different
about you.
(a beat)
I've never met a Ferengi woman before.
PEL
You probably never will again. On
my world, women aren't allowed to
leave the house. Or wear clothes.
Or learn to read.
DAX
And you want more.
PEL
Why not? I'm as smart as any man.
So I made myself a pair of synthetic
lobes and became one.
DAX
But why come here?
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT TWO 29.
36 CONTINUED: (4)
PEL
To acquire profit, of course.
(a beat)
There's only one thing I hadn't
planned on.
DAX
Falling in love with Quark.
Pel nods and looks imploringly at Dax for advice.
PEL
What do you think I should do?
DAX
I don't know. But I do know there's
more to life than profit.
37 NEW ANGLE
as Quark rushes up to the Replimat and waves Pel over.
QUARK
Pel... it's time. We don't want to
keep the Dosi waiting.
Pel looks to Dax who smiles encouragement.
QUARK
(urgent)
Hurry!
Pel gets up and hurries off with Quark.
38 TIGHT ON DAX
Now she really has seen everything.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT TWO
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT THREE 30.
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
39 INT. PROMENADE - SECOND LEVEL - DAY
Zek seated at Quark's cafe with Maihar'du; eyes the passing
throng. He never realized there were so many females on the
station. Suddenly a shadow falls across the table. He
glances up to see...
40 KIRA
standing over him.
ZEK
Ah, Major, did your shipment of
Brizeen nitrate arrive on time?
KIRA
Yes, it did.
Kira holds out the jewelry box.
ZEK
Good. And now you're here to thank
me.
(pats his lap)
Have a seat.
KIRA
Actually, I just stopped by to return
this.
Zek reluctantly takes the box.
ZEK
Why? Is something wrong with it?
KIRA
No, it's lovely. I just can't accept
it.
ZEK
Then I suppose a night of wild
passionate romance is out of the
question.
KIRA
That's right.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT THREE 31.
40 CONTINUED:
ZEK
(shrugs)
Just thought I'd ask.
He grins to show there are no hard feelings. Kira turns to
walk off then flinches as Zek gives her another pinch. Kira
forces herself not to turn around.
KIRA
(to herself)
Dax must be crazy.
Zek admires her departing figure.
QUARK (O.S.)
Nice view...
41 NEW ANGLE
Quark and Pel have just come up the Promenade stairs and
make their way over to Zek.
QUARK
(continuing, re: the
Promenade)
... isn't it.
ZEK
(pleased)
Don't tell me the negotiations are
already over. That's fast work,
Quark. Now let's see the contract.
Quark lowers his head in contrition.
QUARK
There is no contract.
ZEK
(immediately hostile)
No contract? You offered to buy a
hundred thousand vats, didn't you?
QUARK
Yes...
ZEK
And?
QUARK
And that's when they left.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT THREE 32.
42 CONTINUED:
ZEK
The room?
QUARK
The station.
Zek reels from the blow.
ZEK
What?
QUARK
I begged them to stay.
PEL
He did. I heard him.
Zek rises and advances on Quark, shaking his cane in his
face.
ZEK
This is a catastrophe. A complete
catastrophe.
Zek forces Quark back against the Promenade railing.
ZEK
This was your big chance, Quark, and
you blew it. You may have seriously
damaged future Ferengi opportunities
in the Gamma Quadrant.
Pel steps between them.
PEL
(to Zek)
Now hold on. We said we'd get you
your tulaberries and that's exactly
what we're going to do.
That's news to Quark.
QUARK
We are?
ZEK
How?
Pel looks to Quark, silently telling him to go along with
her plan.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT THREE 33.
41 CONTINUED: (2)
PEL
We'll travel to the Gamma Quadrant,
find the Dosi, and get them to sign
the contract.
ZEK
And how do you plan to get there?
PEL
We'll take your ship.
ZEK
My ship. And I suppose you'd want
Maihar'du to pilot it for you.
QUARK
(hope rising)
We don't need Maihar'du. I can pilot
the ship myself.
A beat as Zek thinks it over.
PEL
(playing hardball)
It's up to you, Nagus. You want
those tulaberries or not?
ZEK
All right. You can use my ship.
But I'm warning you, Quark. Either
you get the Dosi to sign that contract
or you'll be tending this worthless
little bar for the rest of your life.
42 TIGHT ON QUARK
Dreams of glory fading.
43 EXT. SPACE - FERENGI SHIP (OPTICAL)
moving through space.
INT. FERENGI SHIP
44
A melancholy Quark is at the helm. Pel seated nearby.
QUARK
I've waited my whole life for an
opportunity like this.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT THREE 33A.
44 CONTINUED:
PEL
So have I.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT THREE 34.
44 CONTINUED: (2)
QUARK
So far it hasn't turned out quite
the way I planned.
PEL
It's not over yet.
QUARK
I still don't understand why the
Nagus is suddenly insisting on a
hundred thousand vats.
PEL
Neither do I.
QUARK
You don't think he's purposely trying
to sabotage the negotiations?
PEL
Why would he?
QUARK
I have no idea.
PEL
One thing's for certain, he knows
more than he's letting on.
QUARK
About what?
PEL
Everything. Tulaberries, the Dosi,
even the Gamma Quadrant.
QUARK
Well, if you ever figure out what
he's up to, make sure you tell me.
PEL
Don't worry, I will.
Quark looks over at Pel and gives her a grateful smile.
QUARK
So far the only thing I've done right
is pick you as my consultant.
PEL
I'm glad you feel that way.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT THREE 34A.
44 CONTINUED: (3)
It's a tender moment between them that leaves Quark vaguely
troubled.
QUARK
(turning his attention
back to the ship)
Now, if we could only make some
profit.
But Pel isn't about to let the moment slip away. She may
never have another one.
PEL
Quark, there's something you should
know.
QUARK
You're too late. I already know
what you're going to say.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT THREE 35.
44 CONTINUED: (4)
PEL
(startled)
You do?
QUARK
(a touch condescending)
It's no secret.
PEL
It's not?
QUARK
I admit you've been a great help to
me... but you agreed to a twenty
percent share of the profits and
that's all you're going to get.
Pel deflates like a balloon.
PEL
I see.
QUARK
"Never place friendship above profit."
PEL
(recognized the quote)
The twenty-first Rule of Acquisition.
QUARK
(end of discussion)
I'm glad you agree.
Pel doesn't have the heart to tell him the truth.
45 INT. QUARK'S
Fairly crowded. Rom running hither and yon mixing drinks at
a frenzied pace. If Ferengis could sweat, he'd be soaked.
46 NEW ANGLE
to include Odo watching Rom scurry.
ODO
Feeling a little overwhelmed are we?
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT THREE 36.
46 CONTINUED:
ROM
I'm glad someone notices.
ODO
When's Quark due back?
ROM
How should I know? He never tells
me anything. He doesn't even bother
to insult me anymore.
(with venom)
It's Pel, that flabby eared
interloper. He's stealing my
brother's affections.
ODO
You're better off.
But Rom isn't convinced. He slams the counter for emphasis.
ROM
But he's my brother. Would you let
someone steal you're brother?
ODO
I don't have one. Not that I know
of anyway.
ROM
But if you did?
Odo gives it some thought. Family is a delicate subject to
him and when he speaks, it's with conviction.
ODO
I suppose if I did have a brother...
even one as worthless as Quark... I
wouldn't allow anyone to come between
us.
Then, aware he's revealed too much, Odo grunts in dismissal
of the whole idea and turns his attention to another part of
the bar.
47 TIGHT ON ROM
who considers Odo's words a call to battle.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT THREE 37.
48 INT. PEL'S QUARTERS
The place has been turned upside down. The camera pans over
to Rom who is desperately giving the room a thorough going-
over.
ROM
(frustrated)
There must be something here I can
use against him.
He opens the closet, looks around inside, then notices the
carrying case on the floor. He carries it to the counter,
opens it, and slowly pulls out a pair of lobes. His
expression changes from confusion, to realization, to joy.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT THREE
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/20/93 - ACT FOUR 38.
ACT FOUR
FADE IN:
A49 EXT. DOSI HOMEWORLD (MATTE)
A barren, rough-hewn landscape.
49 INT. DOSI MEETING HALL - DAY
Actually, it's a vast alien Tammany Hall, constructed of
billowy tent-like fabric. It consists of a large central
room where the Dosi gather to conduct business. Once a deal
is agreed upon, the participants retire to one of the small
alcoves off the main room to finalize negotiations.
In the center of the main room, a Dosi butler dispenses
tulaberry wine out of a huge metal vat to help grease the
wheels of commerce.
50 QUARK AND PEL
Who stand forgotten at the edge of the room. Both of them
have been drinking and it's starting to show.
50A NEW ANGLE
as Zyree comes up from behind and throws a welcoming arm
around them.
ZYREE
Enjoying yourselves, little Ferengi?
QUARK
(feigned enthusiasm)
How could we not.
PEL
Tell us, Zyree, what is this place.
ZYREE
This... this is where opportunities
are made.
QUARK
Really? I thought it was some kind
of party.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/20/93 - ACT FOUR 38A.
50A CONTINUED:
ZYREE
Then you thought wrong.
(gestures around the
room)
This is all about profit. And like
the Ferengi, the Dosi are very serious
when it comes to profit.
Suddenly we hear a loud gunshot.
51 QUARK, PEL AND ZYREE'S POV
The crowd parts to reveal a dead Dosi slumped on the floor.
Another Dosi stands over him, placing an alien pistol back in
his jacket.
51A BACK TO QUARK, PEL AND ZYREE
ZYREE
Very serious.
And with that she saunters away. Quark and Pel seem to be
the only ones reacting to this sudden outbreak of violence.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/20/93 - ACT FOUR 39.
51A CONTINUED:
PEL
(spotting someone
o.s.)
Look who finally showed up.
52 THEIR POV
Inglatu has just ENTERED the tent.
QUARK (O.S.)
It's about time.
53 BACK TO SCENE
Quark screws up his courage and steps out from behind the
table.
PEL
Where are you going?
QUARK
To get serious about profit.
54 NEW ANGLE
Quark matches up and taps Inglatu on the shoulder. Inglatu
glances over at him and sneers.
INGLATU
Oh, it's you, Ferengi. Aren't you
on the wrong side of the wormhole?
QUARK
It certainly feels that way.
Fortunately, all I need is your
thumbscan on this very lucrative
contract and I can go home.
Quark pulls out a Ferengi PADD, but Inglatu refuses to take
it.
INGLATU
You had your chance.
He turns away. Quark taps him on the shoulder again. An
angry Inglatu whirls around.
INGLATU
I said go away.
He turns away again. Quark taps him again.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FOUR xx40
54 CONTINUED:
QUARK
Not until we finish our discussion.
Inglatu is really getting ticked off.
INGLATU
You're starting to annoy me.
And once again he gives Quark the cold shoulder. Quark, fed
up with being ignored, steps forward and kicks over the wine
keg, which lands with a LOUD CLATTER.
55 NEW ANGLE
Now he has everyone's attention.
QUARK
Sorry.
INGLATU
I should have killed you back on
that station.
QUARK
But you didn't. Because deep down
inside you recognize a good
opportunity when you see one.
(offers the PADD)
Just put your thumbscan here.
A long beat as Inglatu glares at Quark. Finally...
INGLATU
All right. You can have ten thousand
vats.
Quark pulls back the PADD.
QUARK
A hundred thousand.
INGLATU
I told you before, that's impossible.
QUARK
One hundred thousand and I'm not
leaving until I get it.
Inglatu has had enough.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/20/93 - ACT FOUR 41.
55 CONTINUED:
INGLATU
Fine. Then stay.
And he storms out of the tent.
56 OMITTED
57 HOLD ON QUARK
who exchanges a dismayed look with Pel.
58 INT. TENT SLEEPING QUARTERS
Quark and Pel ENTER and survey the tiny room which is entirely
taken up by a bed and small nightstand. The thought of
sleeping next to Quark in such a confined space has Pel a
little apprehensive.
PEL
Wouldn't we be more comfortable
sleeping on the ship?
QUARK
No, I want to be right here in case
Inglatu changes his mind.
(a beat)
Don't worry. I don't snore.
He sits down to test the bed.
PEL
Wait.
QUARK
What is it?
PEL
(thinking fast)
The mattress.
QUARK
What about it?
PEL
It looks lumpy.
Quark tries it out.
QUARK
Actually, it's quite comfortable.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/20/93 - ACT FOUR 41A.
58 CONTINUED:
PEL
I can't sleep on a lumpy mattress.
QUARK
Well, you're in luck. There's not a
lump to be found.
Quark moves over to give her room.
QUARK
Try it for yourself. Which side to
you want?
Quark starts to remove his jacket.
PEL
What are you doing?
QUARK
Getting undressed. What's it look
like?
PEL
You're not going to sleep, are you?
QUARK
Why not? I'm tired.
PEL
But shouldn't we be discussing
strategy?
QUARK
There's nothing to discuss.
PEL
But you know what the hundred and
third Rule of Acquisition says...
QUARK
(tries to remember)
Not offhand.
PEL
(quoting)
"Sleep can interfere with... "
QUARK
And I don't care either.
He lies down on the bed.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/20/93 - ACT FOUR 41B.
58 CONTINUED: (2)
PEL
Wait.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FOUR 42.
58 CONTINUED: (3)
Quark sits back up.
QUARK
What now?
A nervous Pel looks to stall. She spots a carafe of wine
and two glasses sitting on the nightstand.
PEL
First, a toast.
QUARK
To what?
Pel pours them each a glass. She offers one to Quark who
has to stand to take it.
PEL
To profit, of course.
QUARK
Of course.
They drink. They're only inches apart, they're eyes locked
on each other's gaze.
QUARK
Is it warm in here?
PEL
It must be the wine.
QUARK
(nervously staring
into her eyes)
I hope so.
PEL
I was impressed with the way you
handled Inglatu.
QUARK
I was good, wasn't I.
(a beat)
Now let's go to bed.
She pours them each another glass. This time neither one of
them waits for a toast. They both gulp down the wine, hoping
to steady their nerves.
PEL
The look on his face when you knocked
over that barrel.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/20/93 - ACT FOUR 43.
58 CONTINUED: (4)
QUARK
That was risky.
PEL
(quoting)
"The riskier the road, the greater
the profit."
QUARK
The sixty-second Rule.
PEL
That's right.
QUARK
(looking to fill the
silence)
You really know your Rules.
PEL
(swept away by the
moment)
And you have a very nice smile.
QUARK
(without thinking)
I do?
Suddenly, Pel lunges forward and kisses Quark on the lips
who reels back in shock.
PEL
Quark, I have something to tell you...
59 NEW ANGLE
But before Pel can explain herself, the tent flap opens and
Zyree ENTERS, startling them both.
ZYREE
I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
QUARK
No. Definitely not.
ZYREE
You're sure?
Quark takes her by the arm to lead her into the room.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/20/93 - ACT FOUR 43A.
59 CONTINUED:
QUARK
Positive.
But Zyree still isn't convinced.
ZYREE
I'll come back tomorrow.
She turns and leaves. Quark and Pel exchange looks. Quark
doesn't want to hear anything Pel has to say.
QUARK
(calling after Zyree)
Wait.
He follows her out.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/20/93 - ACT FOUR 44.
59 CONTINUED: (2)
Pel uses the opportunity to pour herself another cup of
tulaberry wine which she gulps down just as Quark RE-ENTERS
with Zyree.
QUARK
(to Zyree)
Don't be ridiculous, we can't wait
to hear what you have to say.
Besides, we could use the company.
(to Pel)
Isn't that right.
PEL
Absolutely.
ZYREE
All right then, let me give you some
advice... Inglatu will never sell
you a hundred thousand vats of
tulaberry wine. Not because he
doesn't want to, but because he can't.
Quark is eager to discuss something other than what just
happened with Pel.
QUARK
If he can't, then who can? You?
ZYREE
I wish I could, but there aren't
that many vats on the entire planet.
QUARK
(to Pel, gloomy)
Then we're finished.
ZYREE
Not necessarily.
(off Quark's reaction)
If you really want a hundred thousand
vats of tulaberry wine, I can put
you in touch with the right people.
For a price, of course.
QUARK
Of course.
(an encouraging smile)
I always said you were my favorite
Dosi.
(confidentially)
Now... who do we have to see?
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/20/93 - ACT FOUR 44A.
59 CONTINUED: (3)
ZYREE
(conspiratorial)
The Karemma.
PEL
Who are the Karemma?
ZYREE
They're an important power in the
Dominion.
QUARK
The Dominion? What's that?
ZYREE
Let's just say that if you want to
do business in the Gamma Quadrant...
you have to do business with the
Dominion.
60 HOLD ON QUARK AND PEL
pondering this latest mystery.
61 EXT. SPACE - THE FERENGI SHIP (OPTICAL)
61A INT. FERENGI SHIP (OPTICAL)
Quark and Pel beam in. Quark, still in denial about what
happened in that Dosi bedroom, is pontificating to a brooding
Pel.
QUARK
The biggest opportunity in Ferengi
history, that's what Zek called it.
But he didn't mean tulaberries. He
meant the Dominion. That's why he
sabotaged the negotiations. He never
wanted to do business with the Dosi.
He just wanted to use them to get to
someone more important in the
Dominion.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FOUR 45.
61A CONTINUED:
PEL
(snapping out of it)
Quark, we need to talk.
QUARK
We are talking.
PEL
Don't you want to know why I kissed
you?
QUARK
You didn't kiss me.
PEL
Yes, I did.
QUARK
No, you didn't. And I don't want to
discuss it anymore.
(a beat)
Now, let's just concentrate on the
Dominion.
(without waiting for
an answer)
I only wish Zyree would have told us
more.
A defeated Pel tries to get into the spirit of things.
PEL
It could be some kind of planetary
alliance; or trading consortium...
QUARK
Whatever it is, it's important. And
I want a piece of it.
And one way or another he intends to get it.
62 EXT. SPACE - DEEP SPACE NINE (OPTICAL)
62A INT. QUARK'S
Zek and Quark are seated at a table with Maihar'du in b.g.
Quark is going to enjoy this. He's just been taken for a
ride by Zek and now he's going to return the favor.
Meanwhile, an anxious Rom hovers around them while in the
b.g. Pel waits by the bar.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FOUR 45A.
62A CONTINUED:
ZEK
I'm disappointed, Quark, very
disappointed. I really wanted those
tulaberries.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FOUR 46.
62A CONTINUED: (2)
QUARK
You and I both know my trip had
nothing to do with tulaberries.
ZEK
It didn't?
Rom leans in over them.
ROM
I must speak with you, Brother.
QUARK
Can't you see I'm busy.
Rom backs off. Quark leans in close to Zek.
QUARK
(continuing)
Does the word "Dominion" mean anything
to you.
Zek's eyes light up.
ZEK
What have you found out?
QUARK
You first.
Rom can't stay away.
ROM
Please, Brother, it's urgent.
QUARK
Not now.
(to Zek)
I'm waiting.
ZEK
Most of my information consists of
little more than hints and whispers,
but it's enough to convince me that
whoever learns the secret of the
Dominion, whatever it may be, will
learn the secret of the Gamma
Quadrant.
(a beat)
Unfortunately, the Dosi don't seem
to know very much. I was hoping
they'd lead us to someone who does.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FOUR 47.
62A CONTINUED: (3)
QUARK
And what would such information be
worth to you?
ZEK
A lot.
QUARK
What if I told you I could arrange a
meeting between you and a powerful
member of the Dominion?
Zek grabs hold of Quark's arm.
ZEK
If you can do that, I'll see to it
that you earn a percentage of every
Ferengi opportunity in the Gamma
Quadrant.
QUARK
That's a lot of latinum.
Zek shivers with anticipation.
ZEK
Give me a name.
QUARK
(sotto voce)
The Karemma.
ZEK
(he loves them already)
The Karemma.
Zek leans back in his chair a happy man.
ZEK
I always knew you had the lobes for
business.
They chuckle contentedly. Rom can't take it anymore.
ROM
Now, may I have a word with you,
Brother.
Even Rom can't annoy Quark at the moment.
QUARK
All right. But make it quick.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT FOUR 48.
63 NEW ANGLE
the camera stays by Zek's table as Rom leads Quark over to
Pel. We don't hear what's being said but we don't have to...
their body language says it all. Rom tells Quark about Pel.
Quark doesn't believe him. Rom insists he's telling the
truth. Quark turns to Pel, who nods her head confirming
that yes, she is indeed a woman. Quark absorbs this
information... and faints.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT FOUR
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT FIVE 49.
ACT FIVE
FADE IN:
64 INT. INFIRMARY - DAY - CLOSE ON QUARK
who wakes with a start on one of the diagnostic beds.
65 ANGLE WIDENS
to include BASHIR running a med-scan of his skull, and Rom,
who hovers nearby.
BASHIR
Easy now. That's quite a bump you
have there.
QUARK
Where's Rom?
ROM
Right here, Brother.
Quark fastens a vise-like grip on Rom's arm to prevent him
from getting away.
BASHIR
Luckily there doesn't seem to be any
serious damage.
QUARK
(feigns weakness)
If you don't mind, I'd like to rest
here for a few minutes.
BASHIR
Of course. I'll be in the next room
if you need me.
QUARK
Thank you, Doctor.
Bashir leaves. As soon as he EXITS, Quark pulls Rom closer.
QUARK
(urgent)
You haven't told anyone, have you?
ROM
You mean about Pel?
QUARK
Quiet.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT FIVE 50.
65 CONTINUED:
ROM
I haven't breathed a word. I thought
it would be best if you told Zek
yourself.
Quark relaxes slightly and sits up on the table.
QUARK
No one's going to tell Zek anything.
Is that clear?
Rom can't believe what he's hearing.
ROM
But she's a female...
QUARK
Not so loud.
ROM
... who wears clothes... and is trying
to earn profit... why she even quotes
from the sacred Rules of Acquisition.
Such a female must be severely
punished.
QUARK
I know that.
ROM
Then we must stop her.
Rom tries to head for the door, but Quark stops him.
QUARK
No.
Rom stares at Quark, restraining hand.
ROM
You're scaring me, Brother.
(shaken by the thought)
Could it be you have feelings for
this woman?
QUARK
(irritable)
Of course not.
(then, placating)
Don't you see. If Zek learns I was
deceived by a female, I'd be ruined.
He might never trust me again.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FIVE 51.
65 CONTINUED: (2)
ROM
But, if you don't tell him and he
finds out, you're sure to be ruined.
You have to tell him, or I will.
Again Rom tries for the door and again Quark stops him.
ROM
Let me go. I have to save you from
yourself.
But Quark hangs on tight.
QUARK
Forget about me.
(a sudden idea)
What about the bar?
ROM
(immediately interested)
The bar?
QUARK
You still want it, don't you?
ROM
Don't you?
QUARK
Who needs the bar when I can have
the Gamma Quadrant? I'll transfer
ownership immediately... but only on
one condition. You never mention
the truth about Pel to anyone.
ROM
(with feigned innocence)
Pel? What about him?
They smile, gratified that brothers can understand each other
so well.
66 INT. PEL'S QUARTERS
Pel pacing, the weight of the world on her shoulders, no
longer wearing her synthetic ears. The shape of her breasts
are visible under her shirt. The door CHIMES.
PEL
Come.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FIVE 52.
66 CONTINUED:
Quark ENTERS holding a small satchel. He immediately
reacts to Pel's appearance. This is the first time he's
seen her in all her womanly glory and he's torn between desire
and indignation.
QUARK
(panicked)
Where are your lobes?
Pel points to her carrying case.
PEL
Over there.
QUARK
Well, put them on, before someone
sees you.
PEL
No one's going to see me...
QUARK
(insisting)
Put them on now.
(re: her breasts)
And wrap yourself up.
Pel crosses off screen to the carrying case. We hold on...
66A QUARK
who looks around the room, while she puts on the ears
offscreen.
QUARK
(gruffly)
Have you finished packing?
Pel returns with the synthetic ears and wearing her jacket.
PEL
Am I going someplace?
QUARK
As far away from this station as
possible.
PEL
I thought we were partners.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FIVE 52A.
66A CONTINUED:
QUARK
Not anymore.
(off her look)
Well, what did you expect? I mean,
look at you, you're wearing clothes.
PEL
Is that a crime?
QUARK
As a matter of fact, it is. Look,
it's just too risky for you to stay
here.
He offers her the satchel.
QUARK
You can take this with you.
PEL
What is it?
QUARK
Ten bars of latinum. To help you
start a new life.
Pel doesn't take the satchel.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FIVE 66A.
66A CONTINUED: (2)
QUARK
(continuing)
If you're going to pretend you're a
man, then act like one. Take the
profit.
PEL
This isn't about profit anymore.
It's about love.
There, she said it. Quark growls angrily.
QUARK
(an accusation)
Spoken like a true female.
He turns away and begins gathering up her things. But Pel
can't quit now.
PEL
I love you, Quark. And I know you
care about me, too. Admit it.
Quark refuses to look at her, but he stops what he was doing.
QUARK
What difference does it make if I
do? You'd never be happy being a
Ferengi wife.
PEL
Then come with me to the Gamma
Quadrant. No one there cares whether
I wear clothes or not.
A beat, then Quark turns to face her.
QUARK
(with solemn finality)
I'd care.
A long beat as she sees that he really means it.
PEL
I guess I'd better start packing.
QUARK
I guess so.
And there's nothing left for them to say.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT FIVE 54.
67 EXT. SPACE - DEEP SPACE NINE (OPTICAL)
68 INT. QUARK'S QUARTERS - EVENING
Maihar'du is serving Quark, Rom and Zek a celebratory meal.
But a solemn Quark isn't bringing much to the party.
ZEK
These flaked blood fleas are
surprisingly succulent.
ROM
You really should try them, Brother.
QUARK
I'm not feeling particularly hungry.
ZEK
(all good cheer)
Let me guess. Too busy thinking
about how to spend all that latinum
we're going to earn.
(chuckling)
Well, I don't blame you.
Quark smiles but even the thought of profit can't raise his
spirits. The door chimes.
QUARK
Come.
69 NEW ANGLE
Pel ENTERS. Quark can't believe it.
ROM
(to Quark; sotto voce)
I thought you said she left the
station.
QUARK
I thought she did.
PEL
(strong)
I hope you don't mind, Quark, but I
couldn't leave without saying goodbye
to the Nagus.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT FIVE 55.
69 CONTINUED:
ZEK
I'm glad you stopped by. I know how
much you helped Quark during the
negotiations. I predict a big future
for you, Pel. You certainly have
the lobes for it.
Pel shoots Zek a friendly smile.
PEL
You like my lobes?
Quark is starting to catch on why she's there.
QUARK
Pel, wait...
ZEK
(to Pel, not paying
attention to Quark)
Yes, I do...
PEL
Then you can have them.
Quark stands and reaches out to stop her.
QUARK
No.
But he's too late. Pel pulls off her synthetic lobes.
ZEK
(the horror)
It's a female!
Quark collapses in his chair.
ROM
(whispers)
Does this mean I don't get the bar?
QUARK
Rom... out.
Rom scrambles out of there, relieved to escape the wrath of
Zek, whose shock is quickly giving way to anger.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT FIVE 56.
69 CONTINUED: (2)
ZEK
This is outrageous.
(to Quark)
What's going on here?
QUARK
I... I... I...
PEL
Leave him out of this.
ZEK
You dare give me orders!
(to Quark)
You knew about this all along, didn't
you?
QUARK
I... I... I...
Pel leans over the table to Zek.
PEL
(mocking)
So, tell me more about my big
future.
ZEK
You have no future. I'll see to it
you spend the rest of your life in
prison.
QUARK
(forcefully)
No.
Zek turns to Quark.
ZEK
Let me remind you that taking business
advice from a female is a violation
of Ferengi law.
QUARK
I didn't know she was a female.
ZEK
Stupidity is no excuse. Now one
more word out of you and you'll wind
up sharing her cell.
But Quark isn't about to back down now.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT FIVE 57.
69 CONTINUED: (3)
QUARK
Then you'd better make sure it's big
enough for three.
ZEK
Are you threatening me?
QUARK
I wonder what your associates will
say when I tell them you allowed a
female to represent you in a business
negotiation.
ZEK
I had no idea she was a female.
QUARK
Stupidity is no excuse.
A beat as Zek absorbs the wisdom of Quark's words.
ZEK
I see your point. It seems Pel's
identity will have to remain our
little secret. But it's going to
cost you.
Quark sees this one coming a mile away.
QUARK
My Gamma Quadrant profits.
ZEK
I've always said you were a bright
fellow, Quark.
Zek stands to leave. As he passes Pel.
ZEK
Shame on you.
And he and Maihar'du EXIT leaving...
70 QUARK AND PEL
facing one another.
QUARK
I hope you're satisfied.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - REV. 09/09/93 - ACT FIVE 58.
70 CONTINUED:
PEL
I'm sorry, but it's time he learned
that when it comes to accumulating
profit, women are as capable as men.
QUARK
Well, do me a favor and don't tell
anyone else.
There's an awkward moment of silence. Then...
PEL
I should be going. I've booked
passage on an Andorian transport.
(a beat)
You could come with me.
QUARK
I can't.
PEL
I know.
She leans over and kisses him. This time, they let it linger
for a moment.
PEL
Well then, if I can't have you, I
guess I'll take those ten bars of
latinum after all.
And as Quark reacts...
71 INT. QUARK'S - NIGHT
The crowd is starting to thin out. Quark, behind the counter,
moves over to where Dax is sitting.
QUARK
So, Lieutenant, you ready for another
night of tongo?
DAX
(sympathetic)
Haven't you lost enough for one day?
QUARK
I don't know what you're talking
about.
DEEP SPACE: "Rules of Acquisition" - 09/03/93 - ACT FIVE 59-60.
71 CONTINUED:
DAX
I'm talking about Pel. She stopped
by to see me before she left. I'm
going to miss her, and so are you.
Quark gives her his usual lascivious grin.
QUARK
You really think I'd let anyone come
between us?
DAX
Nice try, Quark, but I know you better
than that.
Dax EXITS.
71A CLOSE ON QUARK
whose smile slowly fades. And we see that he truly does
feel the loss of Pel. And as he stands there in his
loneliness and regret, we...
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT FIVE
THE END