STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
"Q-Less"
#40511-407
Story by
Hannah Louise Shearer
Teleplay by
Robert Hewitt Wolfe
Directed by
Paul Lynch
THE WRITING CREDITS MAY NOT BE FINAL AND SHOULD NOT BE USED
FOR PUBLICITY OR ADVERTISING PURPOSES WITHOUT FIRST CHECKING
WITH THE TELEVISION LEGAL DEPARTMENT.
Copyright 1992 Paramount Pictures Corporation. All Rights
Reserved. This script is not for publication or
reproduction. No one is authorized to dispose of same. If
lost or destroyed, please notify the Script Department.
Return to Script Department FINAL DRAFT
PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION
OCTOBER 30, 1992
STAR TREK: DS9 - "Q-Less" - 10/30/92 - CAST
STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
"Q-Less"
CAST
SISKO Q
O'BRIEN VASH
BASHIR KOLOS
DAX BAJORAN CLERK
KIRA BAJORAN WOMAN
ODO
QUARK
Non-Speaking
CELESTINE
STOL
KRO
N.D. FERENGI
N. D. BAJORANS
OVERWEIGHT ANDORAN
HUMAN WOMAN
STAR TREK: DS9 - "Q-Less" - 10/30/92 - SETS
STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
"Q-Less"
SETS
INTERIORS EXTERIORS
DEEP SPACE NINE DEEP SPACE NINE
CORRIDOR
INFIRMARY RUNABOUT
COMMANDERS OFFICE
AIR LOCK
ASSAY OFFICE
PROMENADE
VASHIS GUEST QUARTERS
HABITAT RING
REPLIMAT
QUARK'S
UNDER THE STAIRS
RUNABOUT
SERVICE BAY
STAR TREK: DS9 - "Q-Less" - 11/06/92 - PRONUNCIATION
STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
"Q-Less"
PRONUNCIATION GUIDE
Betazed BAY-tuh-zed
Braxite BRAX-ite
Cardassian car-DASS-ee-en
Erabus AIR-uh-bus
Errikang ERR-i-kang
Gamzian GAM-zee-on
Hoek HOE-ick
Kolos KOH-los
Lantar LAN-tar
Mulzirak MULL-zir-ak
Mundahla mun-DAHL-uh
Nurzin NER-zin
oo-max 00-max
post-ganglionic post GANG-glee-uhn-ick
pre-ganglianic pre GANG-glee-uhn-ick
Promethean PRO-mee-thee-uhn
Risa RYE-suh
Rohain ROE-hane
Rul Verath RULE vuh-RATH
Rytsan WRITE-zan
Sampalo sam-PAH-low
sarium sar-EE-um
Surax sewer-AX
Tanesh tuh-NESH
Tartaras tar-TAR-uhs
Teleris TELL-her-iss
Vadris vah-DRIS
viterian VIE-ter-ee-an
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - TEASER 1.
STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
"Q-less"
TEASER
FADE IN:
1 INT. REPLIMAT
BASHIR in mid-conversation with a beautiful BAJORAN WOMAN (a
civilian). She gazes at him dreamily as he tells his tale.
BASHIR
... So there I was, fighting the
toughest battle of my life. I looked
around hoping to spot a friendly
face... only to discover my colleagues
were gone...
(a beat for dramatic
effect)
I was... alone.
The Bajoran beauty hanging on his every word, nods
sympathetically.
2 NEW ANGLE
to include O'BRIEN, seated at a nearby table. He can't decide
what annoys him more, Bashir's "performance," or the women's
moonstruck response.
BASHIR
I admit, for a moment there, I
considered giving up. I could feel
the seconds ticking away... panic
building up inside me. I knew my
only chance was to trust my instincts.
I closed my eyes...
(he reenacts the moment)
... took a deep breath... and just
like that it came to me. The answer
I was waiting for... A pericardial
membrane.
(his eyes pop open)
I looked down and wrote it into my
computer terminal, just as the buzzer
sounded ending the exam.
(modestly)
And that, I suppose, is the stuff of
which salutatorians are made.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - TEASER 2.
2 CONTINUED:
BAJORAN WOMAN
(only second?)
Salutatorian?
BASHIR
(minor setback)
I mistook a pre-ganglionic fiber for
a post-ganglianic nerve during the
orals or I would have been
valedictorian.
(shrugs)
It was a trick question.
His companion is duly impressed.
BAJORAN WOMAN
Fascinating.
BASHIR
(smoothly)
Not nearly as fascinating as...
SISKO'S COM BADGE
Doctor Bashir... Chief O'Brien...
report to landing pad five
immediately.
BASHIR
(to woman)
Bad timing.
BAJORAN WOMAN
(very encouraging)
There'll be another time.
Bashir smiles, rises... so does O'Brien. They make their
way toward the Turbolift.
BASHIR
(to O'Brien)
Starfleet medical finals... gets
them every time.
O'Brien's deadpan stare says it all.
3 INT. LANDING PAD FIVE AIRLOCK
The Ganges is docked at the airlock. SISKO and KIRA are
using hand held suction-like clamps to pull open the
Runabout's hatch. They've gotten the clamps from a portable
service module, which has been left near a half-repaired
open panel. They're unable to open the hatch.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - TEASER 3.
3 CONTINUED:
KIRA
It's no use.
O'Brien and Bashir ENTER the airlock, both wondering what's
going on.
SISKO
Chief, we've got to get this hatch
open. Lieutenant Dax and Ensign
Pauley are trapped in there.
O'Brien pops open a panel beside the hatch.
KIRA
The Runabout barely made it back
through the wormhole. By the time
they docked, power levels were near
zero.
O'BRIEN
(checking panel)
There's not even enough juice left
in the ship to release the servos.
Bashir consults his medical tricorder.
BASHIR
(to Sisko)
Life support's down and oxygen levels
have dropped dangerously low.
Kira whips out her phaser and points it at the hatch.
KIRA
We'll have to burn through.
SISKO
Forget it Major. That hatch is made
of duranium composite. It would
take you an hour to get through.
BASHIR
(re: tricorder)
We don't have that much time.
(a beat)
That's odd.
(to Sisko)
How many passengers did you say were
on the Ganges?
SISKO
Two.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - TEASER 4.
3 CONTINUED: (2)
BASHIR
I'm reading three.
As Sisko reacts to the news...
O'BRIEN
We need to get power to the hatch
servos.
(pointing to the
service module)
Major, hand me that EPI capacitor.
Kira looks at the module, not quite sure what O'Brien means.
O'BRIEN
(continuing)
Top shelf, all the way to the left.
Kira finds the capacitor and hands it to him.
O'BRIEN
(continuing)
Stand clear.
O'Brien reaches into the Runabout panel and jury-rigs a
connection.
O'BRIEN
(continuing)
Give her a go.
Kira hits the door panel. The door slides partway open.
There is a whoosh as air rushes in. Sisko and Kira force it
wide enough so that Bashir and O'Brien can ENTER.
4 INT. RUNABOUT
They find DAX, Pauley and a Woman Passenger (lying face down
on a console) slowly regaining consciousness. Bashir goes
to Dax, who waves him off.
DAX
I'm fine, check the others.
While Bashir examines Ensign Pauley, O'Brien helps the woman
to her feet. As she turns to O'Brien, he gives a look of
startled recognition.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - TEASER 4A.
4 CONTINUED:
O'BRIEN
Vash.
And sure enough it is VASH, Captain Picard's old flame from
TNG. She looks over at O'Brien, tries to place him.
VASH
That's right... ?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - TEASER 5.
4 CONTINUED: (2)
O'BRIEN
Miles O'Brien... From the Enterprise.
Vash, in weakened condition, makes a show of remembering.
VASH
Yes of course.
O'BRIEN
What are you doing on the Ganges?
Vash weakly tries to pick up a twenty-fourth century
equivalent of a duffel bag... O'Brien moves to assist her,
takes the bag for her.
DAX
We found her in the Gamma Quadrant.
She's been there for over two years.
O'BRIEN
(reacts, glances at
Sisko)
Two years... ?
Bashir supports a groggy Ensign Pauley.
SISKO
Doctor, we better get these people
over to the Infirmary.
Bashir nods and leads them out of the ship. O'Brien assists
Vash.
BASHIR
Right this way.
5 INT. LANDING PAD FIVE AIRLOCK
Out of the ship, they walk toward the exit, by a Starfleet
Engineer (Enterprise-style uniform) who's got his head inside
the panel beside the door, obviously attempting repairs...
O'BRIEN
(to Vash)
How did you get to the Gamma Quadrant
two years ago?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/05/92 - TEASER 6.
5 CONTINUED:
VASH
(a weak smile)
A friend dropped me off.
O'Brien reacts curiously. So does Sisko. And as they EXIT...
6 NEW ANGLE - ON THE STARFLEET ENGINEER
who now looks out of the panel back toward the departed
passengers... and it is Q...
FADE OUT.
END OF TEASER
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - ACT ONE 7.
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
(NOTE: Episode credits fall over opening scenes)
7 INT. INFIRMARY
Bashir scans Vash with a tricorder and consults the readout.
VASH
Will I live?
BASHIR
You're fine. In fact, you're in
remarkable shape.
VASH
Thank you, Doctor. I try.
BASHIR
(embarrassed)
I'd say you've managed quite well
for someone who's been out of contact
with civilization for over two years.
VASH
I'd hardly call the Gamma Quadrant
uncivilized. Some of the cultures
I've encountered have histories dating
back millions of years.
BASHIR
(fascinated)
Really... ? I'd love to hear about
them. We have no idea what's beyond
the wormhole...
VASH
(playful)
Perhaps I'll write a book...
BASHIR
It's certain to be a best-seller
around here...
(completing the exam)
Well, no sign of disease or
malnutrition, no parasitic
infections...
VASH
You sound disappointed.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/09/92 - ACT ONE 8.
7 CONTINUED:
BASHIR
I am. Now I don't have any reason
to keep you here.
Bashir puts away his medical tricorder.
VASH
(smiles)
You almost make me wish I wasn't
feeling well.
Bashir smiles back.
8 INT. COMMANDERS OFFICE
Dax is making her report to Sisko.
SISKO
(confirming)
... And she claims she knew nothing
about the wormhole... ?
DAX
She was very surprised when I told
her about it. I don't think she
ever expected to see this part of
the galaxy again.
SISKO
How could she get there in the first
place if she didn't go through the
wormhole?
DAX
She didn't want to talk about it.
Said it was a personal matter.
SISKO
This doesn't make sense. A human
alone in the Gamma Quadrant for two
years. Let's check her background.
See what we can find out about her.
DAX
She claims to be an archaeologist.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT ONE 9.
8 CONTINUED:
SISKO
That's a good place to start.
As he turns to access his desk monitor...
9 EXT. SPACE DEEP SPACE NINE (OPTICAL)
10 INT. PROMENADE - THE ASSAY OFFICE
Establishing.
11 INT. ASSAY OFFICE
Vash, her duffel bag on the counter, is speaking with a
BAJORAN CLERK.
VASH
You're sure this place is safe?
BAJORAN CLERK
The Assay office is the most secure
area on the station.
The Clerk opens one of the storage chambers.
BAJORAN CLERK
(continuing)
The chambers are surrounded on all
sides by individual force fields.
VASH
How are the locks controlled?
BAJORAN CLERK
Once you secure a chamber, it can't
be opened except with your personal
authorization code, combined with a
verified retinal print.
VASH
(probing)
Cardassian MK-seven scanner?
The Clerk looks offended at the mere suggestion. MK-seven
indeed.
BAJORAN CLERK
MK-twelve with an L-ninety enhanced
resolution filter.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - ACT ONE 10.
11 CONTINUED:
Vash thinks about it.
VASH
I suppose it'll have to do.
Vash unzips the bag. Vash takes a variety of artifacts out
of her duffel and hands them one at a time to the Clerk, who
looks over each object, then gives them to his Assistant,
who puts them in the cubicle.
BAJORAN CLERK
Computer, begin inventory for cubicle
nineteen. One statue, stone, thirty-
odd centimeters tall, approximately
twenty kilograms... Assorted gems...
Gold necklace... One dagger, bronze
and gold, about twenty-five
centimeters.
12 NEW ANGLE (OPTICAL)
The Assistant puts away the dagger and Vash places a metal
box on the counter. Vash opens the container to REVEAL a
beautiful GEODE glowing with a pulsing internal light.
BAJORAN CLERK
(continuing)
Beautiful. I've never seen anything
quite like it. Some kind of
Promethean Quartz?
VASH
That's what I thought at first, but
it's molecular density and refraction
index are much higher.
BAJORAN CLERK
(to Vash, admiring
the Geode)
Remarkable.
Vash closes the box and hands it to the Clerk, who puts it
away and closes the cubicle.
BAJORAN CLERK
(continuing, to
computer)
End inventory.
He gives her a data clip. The Assistant leaves.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT ONE 11.
12 CONTINUED:
BAJORAN CLERK
(to Vash)
Please enter an access code.
She taps a combination into the clip. The Clerk indicates a
small eyepiece attached to the counter. Vash places her eye
against the scanner. There's a slight hum as her retinal
print is filed.
VASH
(once she's done)
I'll be back to pick everything up
tomorrow. I've booked passage on
the Mulzirak Transport.
13 NEW ANGLE
to include Sisko standing in the doorway.
SISKO
You're not leaving us so soon, are
you?
VASH
I'm afraid so.
Sisko falls into step beside her as she EXITS the Assay
office.
14 INT. PROMENADE - CONTINUOUS
as they walk along the street.
SISKO
The Daystrom Institute will be very
disappointed.
VASH
(taken aback)
The Daystrom Institute?
SISKO
Their scientists are anxious to hear
about life in the Gamma Quadrant.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT ONE 12.
14 CONTINUED:
SISKO
Every place you've been, everything
you've seen, no matter how
insignificant, could prove important.
(fishing)
Including how you got there.
VASH
I'm sorry, Commander, but that's
a...
SISKO AND VASH
(simultaneously)
Personal matter.
They pass by Quark's, where we see QUARK and the Assay Office
Assistant in animated conversation. We don't hear what
they're saying, but the Assistant's surreptitious nod towards
Vash lets up know the gist of their conversation.
VASH
(thoughtful)
So now the Daystrom Institute is
interested in me. That's ironic.
SISKO
Professor Woo seemed especially eager
to speak to you again.
VASH
Did he really? I suppose he told
you that he suspended my membership
from the Institute's Archaeological
Council.
SISKO
On two occasions. Something about
the illegal sale of artifacts...
VASH
Let's just say when it comes to
choosing between science and profit...
I'll choose profit every time.
SISKO
I think the professor is hoping in
this case you'll make an exception.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/09/92 - ACT ONE 13.
14 CONTINUED: (2)
VASH
(considering)
You know, I haven't been back to
Earth in... it must be twelve years.
SISKO
Here's your chance. I could arrange
passage...
VASH
(smiling)
I think, I'd like that.
Sisko nods. It's a done deal.
15 INT. THE GANGES
O'Brien finishes closing up some open panels as Sisko ENTERS.
O'Brien looks up.
O'BRIEN
I don't understand it, Commander. I
can't find anything wrong with her.
This ship's completely functional.
SISKO
It didn't look that way this morning.
O'BRIEN
Oh, don't get me wrong. The power
reserves are empty, the inertial
damping fields are barely operating
and the warp drive containment field
is on the verge of collapse.
SISKO
But...
O'BRIEN
But there's nothing wrong with any
of them. Once we put power back
into the Ganges, she should be fully
operational.
SISKO
Did you check the central power
linkages?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/05/92 - ACT ONE 14.
15 CONTINUED:
O'BRIEN
Yes Sir. I ran a level one
diagnostic. Everything checks out.
I can't explain it. It's like
something tapped into the ship's
systems and drained them dry.
He picks up his tools. Sisko follows him out of the Runabout.
16 INT. AIR LOCK
Sisko and O'Brien in motion.
SISKO
Tell me Chief, how well do you know
this Vash woman?
O'BRIEN
Hardly at all. Only met her that
one time she was aboard the
Enterprise.
SISKO
What was she doing there?
O'Brien is hesitant, choosing his words carefully in an
attempt to be discreet.
O'BRIEN
Well Sir, Vash and Captain Picard
were friends... close friends... if
you follow my meaning. Seems they
met on Risa a few years back.
17 INT. CORRIDOR
As they come out of the airlock.
O'BRIEN
(continuing, to Sisko)
I figure she must be a special
woman... to be friends with the
Captain and all.
SISKO
Somehow she doesn't seem to be his
type.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/09/92 - ACT ONE 15.
17 CONTINUED:
O'BRIEN
The Captain likes a good challenge,
sir.
Before Sisko can respond, the corridor lights dim and there's
a low pitched WHINE. Then as quickly as they faded, the
lights flicker and come up again and the noise ceases. As
Sisko and O'Brien react...
18 INT. OPS
Kira and Dax at their stations. Sisko and O'Brien ENTER
from the Turbolift.
SISKO
Status report?
O'Brien hurries to his station.
DAX
We suffered a broad spectrum power
drain.
KIRA
The power transfer is completely
inoperative. The energy was drawn
out faster than it could handle.
O'BRIEN
I'll have to replace the entire unit.
DAX
(to O'Brien)
Chief, are you reading any graviton
flux around the transfer systems.
O'BRIEN
(runs a diagnostic)
I am detecting a low level graviton
disturbance... How did you know?
DAX
That's exactly what happened when we
lost power on the Ganges.
On reactions...
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/06/92 - ACT TWO 16.
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
19 INT. CORRIDOR - HABITAT RING
O'Brien and Vash walk along a passageway.
O'BRIEN
These were originally Cardassian
living quarters. The bed may take
some getting use to.
VASH
As an archaeologist, I've spent half
my life sleeping in tents. To me
any bed is a luxury.
O'BRIEN
(smiling)
You've obviously never slept on a
Cardassian mattress.
They arrive at a door to one of the guest quarters.
O'BRIEN
If you need anything just ask the
computer.
VASH
Thanks, Chief.
(beat)
By the way, how's Jean-Luc?
O'BRIEN
The Captain? Last time I saw him he
was fine.
VASH
(enigmatic smile)
Well, now that I'm back, I'll have
to look him up.
They nod good-bye and Vash ENTERS...
20 INT. GUEST QUARTERS
Vash looks around with mild disapproval. She's not exactly
in love with the decor. She crosses over to the bed and
checks the mattress. Sure enough, it's a monstrosity.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT TWO 17.
20 CONTINUED:
She tosses her duffel bag on the bed and turns around,
only to bump smack into... Q, still wearing his Enterprise-
style uniform.
Q
Really, Vash, I can't believe
you're still pining for Jean-Luc,
that self righteous do-gooder.
VASH
I should have listened to him when
he warned me about you...
Q
You're hurt, so you lash out. I
understand. But be of good cheer.
I bring wonderful news.
(A BEAT)
I'm back. I can see now it was cruel
of me to leave you.
VASH
That's very touching. But you didn't
leave me, I left you.
Q
You left me, I left you...
Details, mere details. The
important thing is we're back
together again... a team... joined
at the hip...
VASH
Not a chance.
Q
Come now, you know you missed me.
VASH
Don't flatter yourself.
21 NEW ANGLE (OPTICAL)
Vash starts to turn away and is startled as her duffel bag
appears on her shoulder, courtesy of Q.
Q
I thought first we'd visit the
Teleris Cluster... look in on the
cloud dancers of Mundahla. Or
maybe head over to the Lantar
Nebula to view the Sampalo relics
on Hoek Four.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT TWO 18.
VASH
Not interested.
She throws the bag down, only to have it instantly reappear
on her shoulder.
Q
I know. Vadris Three. Charming
little world. The natives think
they're the only intelligent life
in the galaxy...
VASH
(more forcefully)
No.
Q
Oh, very well. You choose this
time.
VASH
I choose never to go anywhere with
you again, Q...
Q
You don't know what you'll be
missing. When we started this
little partnership, I promised to
take you places no human had ever
seen...
VASH
And you have. Thank you... and
goodbye.
She opens the door... waits for him to exit. A beat, then
seemingly resigned to his fate he slowly walks toward it,
but instead of leaving he turns to confront her.
Q
Two years in the Gamma Quadrant
hardly qualifies as a grand tour
of the universe. There's still
the Delta Quadrant to explore, not
to mention all the other galaxies.
VASH
It's over Q. I want you out of my
life. You're arrogant, overbearing
and you think you know everything.
Q
But I do know everything.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/06/92 - ACT TWO 19.
VASH
That makes it even worse.
Q
Okay... fine... I understand... I
hear you. What is it you real
want?
She looks at him, shakes her head... he cannot fathom that
she'd really be serious about leaving him.
VASH
I want... the life I had before I
met you.
Q
(sarcastic)
Ah yes, a stellar life indeed. The
eminent Vash. Barred from the Royal
Museum of Epsilon Hydra Seven, persona
non grata on Betazed. Wanted Dead
on Myrmidon for stealing the Crown
of the First Mother.
VASH
Dead or alive.
Q
Preferably dead. It's a wonder
you haven't offended every
sentient race in the galaxy.
VASH
You're the one who almost got me
killed on Errikang Seven. And they
weren't exactly thrilled to see you
on Brax either. What did they call
you there? "The God of Lies?"
Q
They meant it affectionately.
The Door CHIMES.
VASH
Come in.
21 ANGLE ON THE DOOR (OPTICAL)
QUARK ENTERS the room, but before he can say a word...
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT TWO 20.
Q
(TO QUARK)
Go away.
Quark DISAPPEARS.
VASH
Q, bring him back.
Q
What business could you possibly
have with that repulsive little
troll?
VASH
I don't know. You didn't give him
time to tell me. Now bring him back
this instant.
Q
Oh, very well.
Quark REAPPEARS. Vash looks around and Q is gone.
(Lose one Q FLASH.)
23 ANGLE ON QUARK
a picture of confusion.
VASH
Can I help you?
Quark looks Vash up and down. Likes what he sees. He turns
on some of that old Ferengi charm.
QUARK
My name is Quark. It's come to my
attention that you have access to
certain items. Items that could
perhaps turn a tidy profit.
VASH
I'm listening.
Quark leans closer as if sharing an intimate secret.
QUARK
For a percentage, I might be able to
arrange a buyer for your trinkets.
Perhaps an auction.
Vash thinks it over for a beat.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - ACT TWO 21.
23 CONTINUED:
VASH
I'll only accept payment in gold-
press latinum.
QUARK
I'll shower you in it.
(a beat, re: their
split)
Fifty-fifty?
VASH
Mister Quark, I believe you're trying
to take advantage of me.
She begins to massage Quark's ear. The Ferengi shivers with
joy.
QUARK
Mmmm. You have a talent for oo-mox.
VASH
So I've been told.
Quark forces himself to pull away.
QUARK
I will not be distracted by your
feminine wiles. I demand forty
percent.
She reaches out and resumes oo-moxing him. Quark practically
purring like a kitten.
QUARK
All right, thirty.
VASH
(re; Quark's ears)
What magnificent cartilage.
QUARK
Twenty-two and don't stop.
VASH
You've got a deal.
Vash removes her hand from Quark's ear. It's like dumping
cold water on the Ferengi.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT TWO 22.
23 CONTINUED: (2)
VASH
(all business)
I expect you to make all the necessary
arrangements.
QUARK
(admiring her business
acumen)
Oh, you're good. You're very, very
good.
And gently touching his throbbing ear, Quark EXITS.
24 NEW ANGLE
as Vash turns around and finds Q sitting on her couch.
Q
How perfectly vile. If that's the
kind of company you kept before
you met me, it's no wonder you
ended up with Picard.
VASH
(emphatic)
Go away.
The door CHIMES again.
VASH
Enter.
Q
My, aren't we the hub of activity?
Bashir ENTERS the room. Bashir notices that Vash looks upset.
BASHIR
I'm sorry. Am I interrupting
anything?
Vash glances back at the couch. Q is gone.
VASH
Not at all, Doctor. Come in.
BASHIR
Thank you, and please, call me Julian.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT TWO 23.
24 CONTINUED:
VASH
(smiles)
Julian. Is this a medical visit?
BASHIR
To tell the truth, I tried to come
up with some official reason for
dropping by, but your excellent health
has robbed me of any excuses.
VASH
Well, that didn't seem to stop you.
BASHIR
I thought I could contribute to your
good health by buying you dinner.
Quark's makes a lovely couscous.
And the company, I hope, might be
mildly entertaining.
Vash sizes up Bashir. She likes what she sees.
VASH
Sounds like fun.
25 ANGLE ON Q (OPTICAL)
As he REAPPEARS behind Bashir. Vash sees him.
VASH
(continuing)
But first I need to freshen up. Can
I meet you in say, twenty minutes?
Q frowns and DISAPPEARS.
BASHIR
(victory)
Those twenty minutes will feel like
an eternity.
Bashir EXITS and Vash turns to find Q standing before her.
(Lose Q FLASH.)
Q
These mating rituals you humans
indulge in really are quite
disgusting.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/06/92 - ACT TWO 24.
25 CONTINUED:
VASH
Get out.
Q
You know you don't mean that.
VASH
Out.
Q
You're making a terrible mistake.
You'd be lost without me.
VASH
I can take care of myself.
Q
Can you really? We'll see about
that.
Q disappears.
26 INT. REPLIMAT - FIVE MINUTES LATER
Bashir sits at a table. A waiter approaches. It's Q in
Bajoran clothes and nose.
BASHIR
Just a cup of mint tea.
Q
You're making a terrible mistake.
BASHIR
Why? Have the replicators
malfunctioned again?
Q
I'm talking about Vash. Stay away
from her.
BASHIR
My god, you're an impertinent
waiter.
Q
I'm a friend... with some friendly
advice. Vash is nothing but
trouble.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - ACT TWO 25.
26 CONTINUED:
BASHIR
Really, I don't think it's any of
your business. In fact, I'm meeting
her for dinner now...
Bashir gets up to leave.
Q
Are you sure you're feeling up to
it?
(beat)
You look tired.
BASHIR
I feel fine.
Q
You look tired. Very, very tired.
Bashir yawns.
BASHIR
Funny, I am feeling a bit spent.
Maybe I should go lie down for a few
minutes.
A dazed Bashir wanders off...
Q
(an aside)
Hopefully by yourself, for a change.
Bashir passes...
27 O'BRIEN
who's too busy staring at Q to notice the doctor.
O'BRIEN
Bloody hell.
O'Brien turns and hurries away.
28 INT. OPS
Kira, Dax at their stations, Sisko conferring with Kira at
the Operations Table.
KIRA
Sir, the Klingon scout ship has
departed docking bay eleven.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/09/92 - ACT TWO 26.
28 CONTINUED:
SISKO
Good. I'll tell Odo he can relax
now.
O'Brien ENTERS from the Turbolift.
O'BRIEN
Sir, we've got a problem. I just
saw Q on the Promenade.
SISKO
Q? Here?
Off Sisko's look of concern...
KIRA
What's Q?
SISKO
A powerful and extremely unpredictable
entity. I was at a Starfleet briefing
on him, two years ago.
O'BRIEN
He's a blasted menace, is what he
is.
DAX
What does he want with us?
SISKO
Whatever it is, you can be sure we
won't like it.
O'BRIEN
(a realization)
You might ask Vash.
DAX
Why Vash?
O'BRIEN
They know each other.
SISKO
From the Enterprise?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/09/92 - ACT TWO 27.
28 CONTINUED: (2)
O'BRIEN
I believe they actually met in
Sherwood Forest.
(off Sisko's puzzled
look)
One of the little jokes Q played on
the Enterprise crew.
29 NEW ANGLE
As the lights fade and the air is filled with a high pitched
whine. This time it takes considerably longer before the
lights come back up and the sound stops.
Kira consults the operations table.
KIRA
Main power grid has dropped eighty
percent.
DAX
Sensors are reading a massive graviton
build-up.
SISKO
How long to get us back up to full
power?
DAX
It's already beginning to normalize.
KIRA
If we have one of these outages during
a docking procedure, we could lose
an entire pylon.
O'BRIEN
I've double-checked every system.
For the first time in a month, there's
nothing wrong with any of them...
it's got to be Q. Another one of
his stupid jokes.
SISKO
I'm not laughing.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT TWO 28.
30 INT. QUARK'S (OPTICAL)
Quark and Vash sit at the end of the bar. Vash watches
Quark's face, looking for his reaction as he gazes intently
into the box at the Geode.
VASH
I figure we'd auction this off last.
Quark closes the box with a snap.
QUARK
(dismissive)
Interesting... but hardly of any
intrinsic value.
VASH
(coolly)
Really? I thought it was the best
piece in the collection.
QUARK
Obviously my associates have more
sophisticated tastes than you're
used to.
(beat)
But just so it's not a total loss,
I'll take it off your hands for say...
seven bars of gold-press latinum.
VASH
(amused)
It's worth fifty times as much.
QUARK
Ridiculous... All right, eighteen
bars, but you must swear never to
tell a soul about my foolish
generosity.
VASH
(takes the box from
Quark)
If you want it you're going to have
to be a lot more foolish than that.
QUARK
All right. Thirty.
(he reaches for the
box)
Now give it to me.
Vash slides the box out of reach.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT TWO 29.
30 CONTINUED:
VASH
Bidding will start at two hundred
bars of latinum.
Quark can barely control his frustration. He takes a gulp
of his wine.
QUARK
I can't decided which is more
intoxicating, this Gamzian wine or
your negotiating skills.
Vash acknowledges the complement -- just as Sisko steps up
to the bar.
SISKO
(to Vash)
We need to talk.
QUARK
The lady and I are having a private
conversation.
SISKO
It can wait.
Quark backs off. He EXITS off screen as Sisko sits down at
the bar.
VASH
Commander, have you seen that Doctor
of yours? He was supposed to meet
me here half an hour ago...
SISKO
(interrupting,
purposeful)
Tell me about Q.
31 ANGLE ON Q
Who turns in his seat from the table behind them.
Q
I'll tell you anything you want to
know, Commander. Just answer one
question... Is Starfleet
penalizing you or did you actually
request such a dismal command.
On Sisko's reaction we...
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT TWO
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - ACT THREE 30.
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
32 INT. QUARK'S - (OPTICAL)
As before.
SISKO
I want you off this station.
Q
Let's not be hasty, my happy-go-
lucky friend, this dreary little
gulag could use a little color, a
little excitement. And who better
to provide it than... moi?
(eying Sisko's uniform)
Though I must say I approve of your
new tailor.
And in the blink of an eye, Q changes outfits to match
Sisko's, except that Q's has Captain's rank insignia.
SISKO
I'm not impressed by your parlor
tricks. These power outages are
going to stop... right now.
Q
Why tell me?
(hurt realization)
Oh, I see. Go ahead, blame Q if it
makes you feel any better. I suppose
it's my fate to be the galaxy's
whipping boy.
(a sigh)
Heavy is the burden of being me.
SISKO
If you're looking for sympathy, you've
come to the wrong place.
Q
Actually, what I had in mind was
some witty repartee, but I see I'm
not going to get any of that either.
(to Vash)
At least, your beloved Jean-Luc knows
how to turn a phrase...
VASH
Take the hint, Q... no one wants you
around.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT THREE 31.
32 CONTINUED:
Q
(mood darkening)
Really, Vash, this playing hard to
get is growing tedious.
And Q gets quite expansive and public as he continues...
heads turn to his voice as he says...
Q
(continuing)
You might keep in mind that I am the
Q and you are the lowly human. I
will decide when this partnership
ends.
(to both Vash and
Sisko)
Do you understand?
SISKO
(to Q, as the room
reacts)
Why don't you and I continue this
discussion in private?
Q
(brightening)
An excellent idea.
And, in the blink of an eye, Vash and everyone else in the
bar DISAPPEARS. Q and Sisko are now completely alone.
33 NEW ANGLE
as Q props his feet up on the table, right where Vash was
sitting.
Q
You're right. This is much better.
Sisko hits his combadge.
SISKO
Sisko to Ops.
Q
All gone.
Sisko grabs Q by the collar.
SISKO
Bring them back, Q. Now.
Q is delighted by this show of aggression.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT THREE 32.
33 CONTINUED:
Q
Or what? You'll thrash me?
(mischievous grin)
Shall we settle this mano a mano?
And suddenly...
34 INT. QUARK'S - MAIN FLOOR (OPTICAL)
The patrons of the bar are back, surprised to find themselves
standing in a square, forming a human boxing ring, around...
35 Q AND SISKO
who are now dressed as boxers, circa 1900. Q, sporting a
handlebar mustache, assumes an old-fashioned boxing pose.
Q
Marquis of Queensberry Rules?
SISKO
What?
Q bounces around like Gentleman Jim Corbett.
Q
Fisticuffs, pugilism, the manly
art of self-defense. Isn't it
wonderfully barbaric? Go on.
Take a poke at me. That is what
you want to do, isn't it?
SISKO
Don't tempt me.
36 CLOSE ON QUARK AND VASH
who are among the onlookers.
QUARK
(to Vash)
I'll wager five bars of latinum on
Sisko.
VASH
(poker face)
You're on.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT THREE 33.
37 BACK TO THE ACTION
Sisko turns away from Q, but Q smacks him lightly on the
back of the head. Sisko tries to ignore Q, but Q keeps
punching him.
Q
Come on, fight back. This is
supposed to be brutal.
Q punches Sisko again. Sisko turns around and faces Q. Q
pops Sisko in the face, rocking Sisko's head back. Sisko
smashes Q with a right hook to the head. Q goes flying into
the crowd. As he crashes to the ground...
38 NEW ANGLE - QUARK (OPTICAL)
QUARK
(to Vash, smug)
You can pay me out of your profits
from the auction.
Q struggles to his feet.
Q
(shocked)
You hit me... Picard never hit me.
SISKO
I'm not Picard.
Q
Indeed not. You're much easier to
provoke.
(grinning)
How fortunate for me.
Q disappears. Sisko finds himself back in his DS9 Uniform.
VASH
(quiet despair)
He's never going to let me go.
(a beat)
Unless you can help...
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/09/92 - ACT THREE 34.
38 CONTINUED:
SISKO
I wouldn't get my hopes up.
(off her look)
It was a lucky punch.
39 EXT. SPACE - DEEP SPACE NINE - STOCK (OPTICAL)
40 INT. THE PROMENADE (DAY TWO)
A humanoid alien (KOLOS) emerges from the airlock near
Quark's. He is followed closely by a jewel-bedecked Ferengi.
The Ferengi gazes warily at his surroundings. He spots Kolos.
The two aliens exchange hostile glances as they walk the
Promenade.
Nearby three mysterious cloaked and hooded Humanoids
surreptitiously watch the Ferengi and the Andoran, then follow
them to Quark's. We never see their faces.
41 ANGLE ON THE SECURITY OFFICE
Close on ODO as he checks out the new arrivals with a
suspicious eye.
Without warning, the Promenade lights go out and the whine
returns (as before, but with an increase in intensity). Odo
looks up into the darkness.
ODO
Not again.
42 INT. OPS
As the lights come back up, we see Sisko, Kira, Dax and
O'Brien at their stations.
O'BRIEN
(exasperated)
Damn it, Q. Enough is enough.
Just then... a blast of air explodes through OPS, knocking
everyone about. Alarm klaxons sound.
DAX
(over the roar of the
wind)
We're losing atmosphere.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/09/92 - ACT THREE 35.
SISKO
Decompression protocol - Raise the
confinement shields.
O'Brien engages the necessary controls.
O'BRIEN
Shields up.
The wind ceases abruptly. The Ops staff regain their balance.
SISKO
(to Kira)
Damage report.
KIRA
(consulting console)
We've got a minor hull breach in one
of the upper bulkheads.
O'BRIEN
I'm getting reports of hull fractures
throughout the station.
(checking monitors)
Emergency systems appear to be
functioning. Repair crews are
responding.
43 INT. CORRIDOR (OPTICAL)
Dax uses a tricorder to examine a jagged hole in a bulkhead.
Sisko watches with interest.
DAX
(concerned)
The breach was caused by some kind
of focused graviton pulse.
SISKO
Every time we've had a power drain,
it's been followed by an increase in
the graviton field. If this continues
we could wind up with a breach in
one of our reactor cores. We'd lose
half the station.
DAX
Maybe it's time to open negotiations
with Q?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT THREE 36.
43 CONTINUED:
A beat. Sisko's thoughtful. Something about all this
doesn't seem right.
SISKO
I'm not convinced that Q's behind
this.
Off Dax's reaction.
SISKO
(continuing)
Playing with the lights and punching
holes in the hull doesn't strike me
as his style.
44 INT. SECURITY OFFICE
Quark ENTERS Odo's office.
QUARK
You wanted to see me? Make it quick.
I've got important business.
ODO
Yes, I know. You're auctioning off
some artifacts from the Gamma
Quadrant.
QUARK
(realization)
You were eavesdropping on my
conversation with Vash.
(a beat)
What were you this time? The table?
One of the chairs? The wine bottle?
ODO
(superior)
When are you going to realize that
you have no secrets from me?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT THREE 37.
44 CONTINUED:
QUARK
I have nothing to hide. I'm selling
quality merchandise to a select
clientele.
ODO
What makes them so select?
QUARK
They're all ridiculously wealthy...
and not too bright.
ODO
(shakes his head)
I'll never understand this obsession
with accumulating material wealth.
You spend your entire life plotting
and scheming to acquire more and
more possessions, until your living
areas are bursting with useless junk.
Then you die and your relatives sell
everything and start the cycle all
over again.
QUARK
(looking for an edge)
Isn't there anything you desire?
ODO
I have my work. What more do I need?
QUARK
(eyes light up at the
thought)
A suit of the finest Andorian silk?
A ring of pure Surax? A complete
set of Tanesh pottery?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT THREE 38.
44 CONTINUED: (2)
QUARK (Cont'd)
(on Odo's lack of
response)
How about a latinum plated bucket to
sleep in?
Odo considers it, but just doesn't see the point.
45 INT. PROMENADE (OPTICAL)
Vash EXITS the Assay Office, on her way to Quark's, duffel
bag filled with artifacts. But before she gets very far,
she bumps into a waiting Q. (Lose Q FLASH.)
Q
Ah, I'm so glad you're packed. I
hope you said good-bye to all your
new friends.
VASH
I don't have time for this now.
Vash tries to get around Q, who steps in her way.
Q
You've led a charmed life these
past two years... under my
benevolent protection.
VASH
I can take care of myself.
Q
Can you really? Remember that bug
bite you got on Erabus Prime? If
I hadn't been there...
Q waves his hand and in a FLASH Vash loses her hair except
for a few sloppy strands. Vash touches her head. For a
moment, she's terrified, but she refuses to let Q best her.
VASH
(defiant)
I am not going with you.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT THREE 39.
45 CONTINUED:
The galaxy can be a dangerous place when you're on your
own.
Another FLASH and Vash's face and arms are covered by horrible
oozing boils. The people on the Promenade recoil from her
in abject horror. Q is enjoying himself immensely.
VASH
(not giving up)
It's over, Q.
A third FLASH. Vash falls to her knees. She is wracked
with palsy and her skin is a deathly grey.
Q
(to Vash, as if nothing
has happened)
I'll leave you now to reconsider my
offer of friendship.
Q vanishes in a flash and at the same time Vash returns to
normal. As one of the bystanders moves to help her... on
her reaction...
FADE OUT.
46
thru OMITTED
47
END OF ACT THREE
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FOUR 40.
ACT FOUR
FADE IN:
47A EXT. DEEP SPACE NINE - STOCK (OPTICAL)
SISKO (V.O.)
Station Log. Stardate xxxxx.x. The
station's power is continuing to be
drained and converted into gravitons.
At this rate, our life support systems
will fail in fourteen hours.
48 INT. OPS (OPTICAL)
O'Brien, Dax, Sisko and Kira at the Operations table.
O'BRIEN
Sir, we'll never find the source of
the power drain using these bloody
Cardassian internal sensors. They're
just not sensitive enough.
SISKO
Is there anyway to recalibrate them?
O'BRIEN
It would take days. We just don't
have the time.
DAX
What if we make the power drain easier
to detect?
(on reactions)
If we flood the station with ionized
tridium gas, we should be able to
trace the particle flow to the source.
O'BRIEN
Tridium? Isn't that pretty toxic.
DAX
Only when it's highly concentrated.
We would use a very small amount.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FOUR 41.
48 CONTINUED:
SISKO
Do it. If we can't get this under
control in the next eight hours,
we'll begin evacuation procedures
Q APPEARS, an arm wrapped around Sisko's shoulders.
Q
(with false intimacy)
Still chasing your own tail? Picard
and his lackeys would have solved
all this techno-babble hours ago.
(a beat)
No wonder you're not commanding a
Starship.
Sisko physically disengages himself from Q's embrace as...
Kira hits her combadge.
KIRA
Security to OPS.
Q
(to Kira)
My, aren't we the fiesty little go
getter.
(to Sisko)
I'd keep my eye on this one. Chances
are, she's after your job.
O'BRIEN
Why don't you do something
constructive for a change? Like
torment the Cardassians.
Q gives O'Brien a blank stare.
Do I know you?
O'BRIEN
O'Brien...
(on Q's lack of
recognition)
From the Enterprise.
Q
The Enterprise.
(it dawns)
Ah yes. Weren't you one of the little
people?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FOUR 42.
48 CONTINUED: (2)
O'Brien shoots Q a dirty look and goes about his business.
Q
(TO SISKO)
Quite a motley crew you've assembled
here, Benji. My advice is to evacuate
now and save all this pointless
guesswork.
SISKO
Q, either tell us what's going on or
get the hell out of the way.
Q
I'll tell you what's going on.
While you're conducting futile
experiments, Vash is down below
engaging in base commerce and
setting Federation ethics back two
hundred years.
(one of the boys)
Believe me, she's far more
dangerous to you than I am.
Q VANISHES and on the reactions, we cut to:
49 INT. QUARK'S
The dabo table has been replaced by an auctioneer's podium.
The bidders, Kolos, the three Cloaked Figures, and the jewel-
bedecked Ferengi, are joined by two others - a second Ferengi
and another N.D. Alien.
The bidders are scattered about the room, some standing,
some sitting, some just lounging against the bar. The two
Ferengi stare daggers at each other from a distance.
50 ANGLE ON THE BAR
As Kolos makes his way over to Quark and Vash.
QUARK
Kolos, my friend. I don't know which
pleases me more, your smiling face
or your overflowing purse.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FOUR 43-44.
50 CONTINUED:
KOLOS
(not smiling)
Quark, you obsequious toad, your so-
called Gamma Quadrant merchandise
had better be legitimate or I'll
toss you out the nearest airlock.
QUARK
No cause for alarm, each piece comes
complete with a statement of
authenticity from Vash herself, the
Federation's foremost expert on the
Gamma Quadrant.
KOLOS
In that case, stop snivelling and
give me a synthale.
Quark hands Kolos a drink and the bidder rejoins his
competitors.
VASH
(sarcastic)
Are they all that pleasant?
QUARK
I don't care about their manners.
The important thing is they're honest
collectors in antiquities, every
one.
VASH
How honest?
QUARK
As honest as you and I.
VASH
(dryly)
We better keep a close eye on them.
Quark leans closer to Vash.
QUARK
My dear, I've been thinking, what
would you say to a permanent
partnership? With your knowledge of
the Gamma Quadrant, and my business
connections, we could make a fortune.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FOUR 45.
50 CONTINUED: (2)
VASH
Sorry, Quark, I've slept in my last
tent. I'm looking forward to a nice
quiet life back on Earth.
QUARK
(laughs)
You won't last a month. You're like
me. You live for excitement,
adventure, profit.
VASH
Not anymore.
QUARK
Would you care to make a wager on
that?
Before Vash can take Quark up on it, the station shakes
violently... everyone struggles to stay on their feet...
51 INT. OPS
Close on Dax and Sisko at the science station as they react
to the shake...
DAX
(consulting her console)
The graviton field has increased by
sixty percent.
SISKO
How soon can we begin the sensor
sweep... ?
DAX
Not until we've increased tridium
levels to one part per million... it
should only be another seven, eight
minutes...
KIRA
(reacts to sensors)
Commander... we're being pulled out
of our normal position.
SISKO
Could it have something to do with
this graviton field?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FOUR 45A.
51 CONTINUED:
He looks at O'Brien for answers but he is mystified as he
studies monitors...
O'BRIEN
I don't understand it...
SISKO
(to Kira)
Use the control thrusters to stabilize
our position.
KIRA
Firing thrusters...
51A EXT. DEEP SPACE NINE (OPTICAL)
The station moves through space. The control thrusters fire
in an attempt to brake the station, but it continues to move
off course.
51B INT. OPS
As before.
KIRA
(refers to readout)
We're still moving.
A tense beat. Then...
O'BRIEN
If the graviton field is feeding off
the station's power, maybe we can
cut its supply by shutting down the
reactors.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FOUR 46.
51B CONTINUED:
SISKO
(decisive)
Put life support on emergency backup.
Take everything else off-line.
O'Brien activates the necessary controls. The lights go
down, then come back up dimmer than usual. (The lighting
will remain low until power levels change again in Act Five.)
KIRA
(shakes her head)
We're still being pulled out of
position...
SISKO
What's our heading?
DAX
Bearing one-five-seven, mark one-
three.
KIRA
(reacts)
Straight into the wormhole.
On their stunned reactions we...
52 EXT. DEEP SPACE NINE (OPTICAL)
The station hurtling through space.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT FOUR
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 47.
ACT FIVE
FADE IN:
53 EXT. DS9 (OPTICAL)
The station continues to drift into space...
53A INT. DAX'S LAB
Dax and Sisko. Dax punches furiously at her computer
terminal. We don't see what's on the screen.
DAX
There's a definite imbalance in the
graviton field that corresponds with
our trajectory. I think that's what's
pulling us toward the wormhole.
SISKO
Could the field be generated from
the wormhole itself?
DAX
Not likely. The field symmetry
doesn't match the wormhole's subspace
emissions.
SISKO
If it's not the wormhole, and it's
not Q, what the hell is causing it... ?
DAX
It doesn't match anything in
Federation or Bajoran records.
Sisko presses a few panels, checks monitors...
SISKO
One thing's for sure. Our sensors
aren't detecting anything within a
hundred kilometers. Whatever's
creating the graviton field has to
be inside the station.
DAX
(to Sisko)
Then we'll find out what it is if we
can trace the power drain...
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 48.
53A CONTINUED:
SISKO
(touches combadge)
Sisko to Ops.
INTERCUTTING AS NEEDED:
53B INT. OPS - CLOSE ON KIRA
KIRA
Go ahead, Commander...
SISKO
How long before we can begin the
trace?
KIRA
(checks a monitor,
presses a panel)
Tridium levels will be at a sufficient
concentration in one minute.
SISKO
We're on our way.
Sisko and Dax EXIT.
54 INT. QUARK'S
The lights are dimmer than usual. The bidders are looking
around, sensing trouble. Quark stands at the podium,
attempting to calm them. The lure of profit has overcome
his usual cowardice.
KOLOS
(speaking for all)
I tell you, something's wrong.
QUARK
(thinking on his feet)
Calm down, Kolos. This is a normal
power recalibration procedure.
Nothing to worry about.
VASH
(sotto voce)
Doesn't seem normal to me...
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FIVE 49.
54 CONTINUED:
QUARK
Shhh.
(to the crowd)
Now, as you know, payments must be
in gold press latinum, and all
transactions are final.
(a beat)
Remember, bid high and bid often.
Vash takes the podium. Holds up an intricately carved stone
statue.
VASH
Ladies and gentlemen, our first item
is a statue from the Gamma Quadrant's
Verath System. First I suppose I
should talk a little bit about the
Verathan civilization, which reached
its height some thirty thousand years
ago...
Quark can't believe this. He interrupts Vash and pulls her
aside.
QUARK
What are you doing?
VASH
Placing the statue in its historical
context.
QUARK
Here, give me that.
(takes the statue)
This isn't the Daystrom Institute.
Watch closely.
Quark walks back to the podium.
QUARK
(continuing)
Friends, have you ever purchased a
one-of-a-kind artifact only to
discover some other collector has
six more just like it?
The two Ferengi bidders exchange hateful looks.
QUARK
(continuing)
Well, now you can avoid that kind of
embarrassment.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 49A.
54 CONTINUED: (2)
QUARK
(holds up statue)
It's rare... it's beautiful... it's
a Gamma Quadrant original and it can
be yours, for the right price.
(a beat)
Bidding will start at ten bars of
gold press latinum.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FIVE 50.
54 CONTINUED: (3)
QUARK
(responding to hand
signals)
I see ten. Fifteen. Sixteen. Who'll
say seventeen and be the first to
own a piece of the Gamma Quadrant.
The bidding continues.
55 OMITTED
56 INT. OPS (OPTICAL)
Close on a graphic displaying a complete station diagram. A
wave of color moves across the diagram until the entire
interior has changed color.
56A NEW ANGLE
as O'Brien consults his console...
O'BRIEN
Tridium levels throughout the station
have reached one part per million.
Sisko nods to Dax.
DAX
Initiating sensor sweep...
She works the panels and STUDIES HER MONITOR as O'Brien does
the same at his station... As they watch, the color drains
out of the docking ring.
O'BRIEN
We can rule out the docking ring...
DAX
(nods)
The tridium gas seems to be draining
toward the central core...
SISKO
Where in the central core?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FIVE 50A-51.
56A CONTINUED:
O'BRIEN
Let me see if I can get a more precise
reading...
Everyone waits anxiously as O'Brien manipulates his console.
O'BRIEN
(disappointed)
It's not clear enough. I can't
pinpoint the exact location.
Kira moves to a station near Sisko.
KIRA
Based on our current trajectory,
we'll hit the wormhole in eighteen
minutes...
SISKO
(sighs, frustrated)
What the hell could be pulling us
into the wormhole...
(beat, to O'Brien)
Do we have time to transfer auxiliary
power to the deflectors, Chief?
O'BRIEN
Sir, there's not enough power left
to make any difference... if we get
sucked into that wormhole, we'll be
in a billion pieces by the time we
reach the Gamma Quadrant.
Off reactions...
57
thru OMITTED
59
60 INT. QUARK'S
As Quark bangs his fist on the podium.
QUARK
Sold to Kolos for thirty-six bars of
gold press latinum.
Quark brings up the next item. A knife.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FIVE 52.
60 CONTINUED:
QUARK
Next we have a... a dagger, studded
with some very interesting looking
gems. Think of it as both a weapon
and an investment. Bidding will
start at forty.
The bidders start signalling to Quark.
QUARK
Forty. Forty-two, forty-five. Don't
hold back, you know you want it,
give me fifty...
(getting into it)
Fifty. We have fifty.
61 NEW ANGLE
to include Q seated at the bar. (Lose Q FLASH.)
Q
(to all)
I hate to interrupt such a thrilling
display of naked avarice, but I feel
it's only fair to warn you that the
station is hurtling toward its doom.
It's very unlikely any of you will
survive to enjoy your purchases.
That stops the bidding cold.
Q
(continuing)
Just thought I'd mention it.
QUARK
Ladies and gentlemen, I assure you,
everything is under control.
Quark shouts to his help.
QUARK
(continuing)
Drinks for everyone.
The bidders are still uneasy. Vash moves toward Q.
QUARK
(continuing)
And free use of the holosuites at
the conclusion of the auction.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 53.
This mollifies the crowd. Vash reaches Q. In the
background, Quark continues taking bids. (Note: Quark's
dialogue runs simultaneously to Q and Vash's conversation.)
VASH QUARK
I don't think I realized (speaking in the
until this moment how evil background)
you really are... you would Now, if I'm not mistaken,
kill all these people to get bidding was halted at...
even with me. sixty bars of gold press
Latinum. Do I hear sixty-
Q five? Seventy... Come on,
I must admit, the thought a piece of the Gamma
had occurred to me. But Quadrant to bury in the
the fact is, this station heart of your most hated
is in enough trouble without rival. Eighty, that's the
me. I will, however, gladly spirit. Eighty-five...
save you. All you have to think of it, Kolos,
do is ask. wouldn't this make a
perfect companion piece to
VASH that statue you
I'll take my chances purchased... Ninety...
with the others. Ninety-five... Can
we break a hundred... A
Q hundred... You make me
As you wish. Now, if you proud. A hundred and
don't mind, I'll just sit five... Do I hear any
here and watch. I've never other bids... Final
seen a space station torn call... sold to my cousin
apart by a wormhole before. Stol for one hundred and
five bars of gold press
latinum.
62 INT. OPS
Everyone's still searching for a solution.
KIRA
Listen, the tridium almost worked
the first time. Maybe we didn't use
enough. Why don't we increase the
concentration in the central core?
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FIVE 53A.
62 CONTINUED:
O'BRIEN
It might work. But in four years,
we'd all be dead from tridium
poisoning.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FIVE 54.
62 CONTINUED: (2)
DAX
(inspired)
Wait a minute... of course...
(to O'Brien)
Bring the reactors back on line...
O'BRIEN
The reactors? But they'll just feed
more energy to the graviton field.
DAX
(certain)
If we generate enough energy, it
should create a power drain big enough
to trace.
KIRA
It might also push us faster into
the wormhole... a lot faster...
SISKO
It's a chance we've gotta take.
(a beat)
Bring us to full power, Mister
O'Brien. Everything you've got.
O'BRIEN
(not totally convinced)
Aye, sir.
O'Brien makes the adjustments to his console. The lights
come up and the station shakes as it gathers speed. Sisko
and Dax remain focused on the monitor, hoping to find the
answer in time.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 55.
63 OMITTED
64 INT. QUARK'S (OPTICAL)
Lighting normal. Quark holds up a lovely multi-colored alien
necklace.
QUARK
Sold to Rul the Obscure for a hundred
and fifty-one latinum bars.
(a beat)
And now, our final item. And I think
you'll agree with me it was well
worth the wait.
Vash opens the metal box and shows the Geode to an
appreciative crowd.
QUARK
(continuing, confident)
Bidding will start at two hundred
bars of gold press latinum.
One of the cloaked figures nods.
QUARK
(continuing)
Two hundred. Can I get two fifty?
Two fifty. Three hundred anyone?
Kolos raises three fingers.
QUARK
(continuing)
Three hundred bars.
The bidding continues at a rapid-fire pace.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/11/92 - ACT FIVE 56.
QUARK
(continuing, in ecstasy)
Three hundred and fifty? Four
hundred? Four hundred... Five...
Five hundred and twenty...
Finally Kolos raises six fingers (all on the same hand).
Quark can't believe it.
QUARK
(continuing)
Six hundred bars of gold press
latinum.
65 INT. OPS (OPTICAL)
Close on Dax's monitor - the station schematic with the
central core lit.
DAX
It's not in any of the crossover
bridges... or the habitat ring...
it's in the upper core.
KIRA
(reading monitors)
Three minutes, fourteen seconds...
to the wormhole... we're picking up
speed.
Dax's monitor now shows a distinct bright area in one section
of the core.
DAX
I've got it.
(moving)
The power drain's coming from the
Promenade.
Sisko and Kira follow Dax...
SISKO
You have Ops, Chief...
They EXIT to the Turbolift...
66 INT. QUARK'S
The bidding on the Geode continues hot and heavy.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FIVE 56A.
66 CONTINUED:
QUARK
One thousand bars of latinum... Going
once, going twice, going...
Q
Two thousand.
(off Vash's reaction)
For you, my dear. Think of it as a
good-bye present.
QUARK
And what a magnificent gesture it
is. Two thousand.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/10/92 - ACT FIVE 57.
66 CONTINUED: (2)
KOLOS
Twenty-five hundred.
Q
Twenty-five hundred... and one.
67 INT. PROMENADE
Sisko, Kira and Dax EXIT the Turbolift. They fan out,
consulting the tricorders.
DAX
(off a tricorder)
This way.
They head toward...
68 INT. QUARK'S
Kolos reacts to Q's bid.
KOLOS
(impatient)
Three thousand bars of latinum. My
final offer.
QUARK
(dizzy with greed)
Three thousand bars.
Q
A million.
Quark can die happy now.
QUARK
A million bars of gold press latinum.
Sisko, Kira and Dax ENTER the bar.
DAX
Over here.
Quark sees them and gets a worried look.
QUARK
(trying to wrap things
up)
A million... Going once...
KIRA
(consulting tricorder)
It's by that podium.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 58.
QUARK
(seeing Sisko getting
closer)
A million going twice.
Sisko, Kira and Dax reach the podium. Dax points the
tricorder at the box.
DAX
That's it.
QUARK
Three times...
SISKO
This auction is over...
QUARK
(desperate)
Sold.
Quark points to Q.
SISKO
(hits combadge)
Chief, shut down the reactors. We
found it.
Q
And about time, too.
68A NEW ANGLE (OPTICAL)
As Dax opens the box to reveal the Geode, now glowing brighter
than ever.
QUARK
(closes the box)
Sorry, all transactions are final.
This item now belongs to that
gentleman over there.
Quark indicates Q, who disappears, much to Quark's
consternation. Dax studies the Geode with her tricorder...
DAX
(ignoring Quark)
I'm reading a massive graviton build
up inside this container... it's
increasing exponentially. We've got
to get it off the station now...
Sisko removes his combadge... hits it...
58A.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 58A.
68A CONTINUED:
SISKO
Chief, lock on to my combadge... prepare
to transport it five hundred meters
off the docking ring...
Sisko tosses the combadge into the Geode container...
SISKO
Energize.
A transporter beam DEMATERIALIZES the box.
68B EXT. SPACE
The box materializes away from the station... suddenly it
explodes into light...
68C INT. PROMENADE - SECOND LEVEL (OPTICAL)
Sisko, Dax, Kira and Vash come over the footbridge to the
observation windows. Through the windows, the bright flash
spreads wider... and reactions as their faces reflect the
light...
69 OMITTED
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 59.
70 EXT. SPACE (OPTICAL)
The brilliant flash of light becomes a WINGED ENERGY CREATURE.
The Creature unfurls its wings and soars away. It grows
more and more distant until it disappears just as the wormhole
IGNITES.
70A INT. PROMENADE - SECOND LEVEL
All eyes on the observation windows as Sisko, Dax, Kira and
Vash contemplate the wonders of the universe.
71
thru OMITTED
73
74 EXT. DEEP SPACE NINE - STOCK (OPTICAL)
Everything back to normal.
SISKO (V.O.)
Station log, Stardate xxxxx.x. With
the embryonic lifeform off the
station, graviton levels have returned
to normal. We've used the control
thrusters to return the station to
its original position.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 60.
75 INT. QUARK'S (OPTICAL)
Quark slides a drink across the bar to Vash. In the back,
we can see Dax, sitting and drinking coffee.
QUARK
So... you're off to the Daystrom
Institute. I bet you can hardly
wait... Long boring lectures...
Endless conferences... Whining
students dogging your every step...
Sounds delightful.
(a beat)
Of course...
(stops himself)
No, you wouldn't be interested.
VASH
In what?
QUARK
(leans close, whispers)
I hear they've uncovered the ruins
of a Rokai provincial capital on
Tartaras Five. If you could obtain
some Rokain artifacts...
VASH
Forget it, Quark. I'm going back to
Earth.
Quark goes to attend to other customers.
Q (O.S.)
An abysmal place.
Vash glances to one side. Sure enough, Q has made an
appearance.
VASH
Tartaras Five?
Q
Earth. Don't get me wrong. A
thousand years ago it had
character...
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 61.
75 CONTINUED:
Q (Cont'd)
The Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition,
Watergate. But now... it's mind-
numbingly dull.
VASH
Please, by all means, don't come
with me.
Q
Trust me, you'd be a lot happier
poking around the ruins on
Tartaras Five.
VASH
I don't need your advice.
(caught up for a moment)
You really think I...
(catching herself)
A beat.
Q
You know, I still feel I owe you
a million bars of gold press
latinum.
VASH
Keep it. Just give me back my life.
Q
You'll regret it if I do.
VASH
I'm willing to take that chance.
Q smiles but there's a hint of melancholy we've never seen
in him before.
Q
(finally giving up)
All right. If you insist. But things
won't be the same without you. When
I look at a gas nebula, all I see is
a cloud of dust, but seeing the
universe through your eyes allowed
me to experience... wonder.
(grumpy)
I'm going to miss that.
VASH
I guess, in some ways, I'm going to
miss you too.
A beat as they exchange a silent good-bye.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 61A.
75 CONTINUED: (2)
Q
Well, maybe I'll drop in on you
sometime.
DEEP SPACE: "Q-Less" REV. 11/12/92 - ACT FIVE 62.
75 CONTINUED: (3)
VASH
(a friendly smile)
God, I hope not.
A beat. Q smiles in understanding and DISAPPEARS. Quark
rejoins her.
VASH
So Quark, what's the quickest way to
Tartaras Five?
Vash and Quark exchange a knowing grin and walk off together,
speaking inaudibly as they plot strategy. This is the
beginning of a beautiful friendship.
75A ANGLE ON DAX
who watches Vash and Quark EXIT. Dax shakes her head with a
bemused expression. She finishes her coffee and gets up to
go, almost running into...
75B BASHIR
who has just entered the bar.
BASHIR
(yawning)
I feel like I've slept for days.
(a beat)
Did I miss something?
And on Dax's smile...
75C EXT. SPACE - DS9
And...
FADE OUT.
THE END