Degrassi: The Next Generation

1.13 - Cabaret
Transcribed by Sarah Nicolett for TWIZ TV.COM



Starts at The Kerwin House
Ashley + Terri are at the piano
 
Ashley is practicing on the piano while Terri is working on a project.
Terri: Hey, wanna hear something cool? A protection chant.
Ashley: Uh, Terri. I’m sorta busy right now.
 Terri: “I call upon my angelic guardians, I call upon my spirit guides.”
Ashley: I call upon Terri to stop freaking me out.  Why did you pick that topic for your presentation anyway?
Terri: I love this mystic oracle stuff.
Ashley: It gives me the creeps. Anyway, I think I’ve got our song down, finally. Listen. (Singing) Oh, just tell me how I can be, all that you ask of me and still feel that I am free, free to be who I am. (Terri moved to the piano while Ashley is singing) Wow, we’re so gonna be the stars of the cabaret.
Terri: Uh, I thought we were going to pick the songs pace up a bit.
Ashley: This is the right pace. You know that right?
Terri: Uh, sure. I just thought this was a duo, you’re singing this on your own.
Ashley: We are a duo. Come on, sing along this time.
Terri: Ok.
Ashley: (Singing) Oh, just tell how I can be, all that you ask of me…
 
Opening Credits
 
Cut to: Degrassi Grade 8 Homeroom-
The morning announcements about Cabaret are on
Liberty: Are you serious about performing for lunchtime cabaret? Then you need to sign up with me by noon today. I’ll decide if your act is appropriate  and up to our usual standards.
Paige: Ter, we should totally hook up for Cabaret.
Terri: I’m already doing a duo, with Ash. “Two Girls and a Keyboard”.
Paige: Hun  that sounds lamer than Heather Sinclair’s highland sword dance.
Terri: I know but the song Ash wrote means the world to her. Too bad it’s just blah.
Paige: Well you need me. To jazz it up,  add some style.
Terri: I tried to get her to do that already, but she won’t.
Paige: She won’t? It’s a duet, not a dictatorship. Just tell her you want a popper song and a trio. (Bell rings)
Mr. R: Good morning, aspiring scholars. In the light of Ms. Kwan’s continued absence, I am going to be your homeroom teacher again today (kids groan but stop when he looks up) Please take your seats. (Ashley comes in + sits next to Terri)
Ashley: This cabaret’s gonna be the best one. Just wait till they hear our song.
Terri: Ash?
Ashley: Yeah?
Terri: Yeah, can’t wait. (Paige isn’t happy because Terri didn’t tell Ash)
 
Cut to: Media Immersion
Emma: It’s a poetic dance on an environmental theme, Sean. You’ll love it.
Sean: I don’t dance.
Emma You don’t have to dance.  Manny and I will dance. I just want you to be the hunter.
Sean: I don’t wear leotards.
Manny: We don’t wear leotards. Just black,  like panthers, in honor of our basketball team.
Emma: And because they’re in dangered. In our piece, we’re gunned down by a hunter. It has a strong message.
Sean: I don’t hunt.
The bell rings.
Emma: I can’t believe Sean won’t do it. It’s gonna be so good. The audience will be entertained and learn something that pros us.
JT: Leotards and learning don’t go together. Leotards and laughter do.
Emma: You’re so primitive.
Manny: Who are we gonna get to be the hunter?
Emma: We’ll find somebody.
Toby: I’ll do it.
JT: What?
Emma: Really? (He nods) Toby, you’re the best!
Toby: Hey, I do what I can.
Emma: We rehearse after school in the gym.
Toby: See you there.
Manny + Emma leave.
JT: Well, I think it’s cool when guys get in touch with their feminine side
Toby: Of course you do, JT. Look at you.
JT: Ha, ha. Funny.
 
Cut to: Media Immersion
Terri is giving her presentation
Terri: There are many mystic oracles, but tarot and ouji are my favorite. Now, could I have a volunteer?
Spinner: Madame Terri? I’ll do it. (He goes up to Terri)
Terri: Take a deep breath. What would you like to ask the oracle?
Spinner: Great mystic oracle, am I really a super stud?
Mr. Simpson: You don’t an oracle to answer that one, Gavin. Ask another serious question, please.
Spinner: What was the name of my first pet?
Terri: I call upon my angelic guardians, I call upon my spirit guides. (She moves the pointer on the board. Spinner says each letter as she moves it)
Spinner: R…O…C…K…Y. Rocky. How did you… That’s cool and just a bit creepy. (He sits down)
Mr. Simpson: That was something, Terri. Excellent use of power point. You’ve earned top marks. Which is just as well because I wouldn’t  want the mystical oracles against me.
Paige: Ash, you don’t believe in all this stuff do you?
Ashley: In the real stuff yeah. My aunt predicted my grandma’s stroke by reading tea leaves. (Terri sits down)
Paige: So, if you heard a prediction, one that affected you, you’d believe it?
Ashley: Yeah. I’d be stupid not to. (Terri + Paige look at each other, excited)
 
Cut to: Outside
JT: You don’t even know how to dance.
Toby: I don’t have to, I’m just hunting.
JT: You’re doing this just to get close to Emma.
Toby: Duh.
JT: News flash Toby: She has a boyfriend.
Toby: Who refused to dance. So who’s the hero now?
 
Cut to: Table
Terri is doing tarot cards with Manny.
Manny: So, I’m a fool?
Terri: No, in tarot, the fool represents fate. What’s important is it’s upside down. In means your day will end unexpectedly, with a twist.  
Manny: A twist? What’s that supposed to mean?
Terri: It means you should watch out.
Manny leaves, + Paige comes over + sits.
Terri: Yes, Paige. What would you like to know?
Paige: Oh, mystic oracle. Should Two girls and a piano become a trio?
Ashley: Paige, it’s Two girls and a keyboard, and no.  We’re fine.
Terri: You ask. If you’re right, the oracle will back you up.
Terri shuffles the cards + Paige picks one after Terri puts them in three stacks.
Terri: Wow, the three of rods. Rods represent creativity, our band, and the three…
Paige: The oracle has spoken.
 
Cut to: Class
Ashley: “The oracle has spoken”. (Imitating Paige)
Terri: The oracle did speak. Paige joins the band.
Ashley: Sounds like you want her to join. Terri, she’ll make it all sexy and stupid. She’ll wreck everything.
Terri: I thought you said you totally believed in the oracles.
Ashley: I do, but my aunt was an expert. You’re an imitator.
Terri: Was I an imitator when I found out Spinner’s pet’s name?
Ashley: Please. Spinner told you about his cat Rocky about a month ago.
Terri: How’d you know?
Ashley: I was there, remember?
 
 
Cut to: Outside
Paige: I can’t believe she didn’t buy it.
Terri: She said I was an imitator, and she thinks your style will like clash.  
Paige: Me? Clash? As if. Don’t tell me you agree with her. Then tell her you don’t agree. What’s the worst that could happen?
Ashley: Paige, I know you want to be in the band.
Paige: No, I know the band needs me.
Ashley: Well Two girls and a keyboard is gonna remain just that. Sorry.
Manny: What do you think about adding a jested? Something like this? (She starts walking on the steps + hurts her leg) Aah! (She falls on the ground. Ashley, Paige, + Terri try to help)
Ashley: Can you stand on it at all?
Emma: It’s already starting to swell. We should probably take you to the nurse.
Manny: I can’t believe this. How am I gonna dance? How am I gonna be a panther?
Ashley: Ter, you predicted a twist and she just twisted her ankle.
Terri: She did. I can’t believe she did.
Paige: And you were right about me.
Ashley: Who am I to argue with the oracles? You’re in Paige.
Paige: Yes! Ter, aren’t you happy?
Terri: Totally, I just can’t believe I predicted that. I am creepy.
 
Cut to: Degrassi- The next day.
Paige is showing Ashley a poster.
Paige: Even I’m amazed at my brilliance.
Ashley: Paige Michalchuk and the Sex Kittens? Please.
Paige: What’s wrong with it?
Ashley: Why don’t we just make it 3 girls and a keyboard? Nice and simple.
Paige: Nice and boring. 
Ashley: Ter, what do you think? 3 girls and a keyboard or Paige Michalchuk and the Sex Kittens?
Terri: I think they’re both interesting.
Paige: Ter, you don’t like 3 girls and a keyboard do you?
Terri: I think we should just focus on getting the song down. The name will come later.
Ashley: Fine. (To Paige) Here’s the song on CD. Learn it and must us at the wall at four to practice.
Mr. R: All right, settle everyone. Let’s continue with our discussion from last class. We talked about sentence and paragraph structures.  (As he’s talking, the camera is focused on Paige listening to the song, which you can tell she doesn’t like by the look on her face)
 
Cut to: Hall
Emma: All we have to do is adjust the dancing. Tone it down a bit. Manny can be the hunter.  
Toby: I don’t know, Em. I’m not exactly the best dancer.
JT: I think it’s a great idea, really. I can’t wait to see it performed.
Toby: Playing the hunter is one thing. But dancing?
Emma: You’re the only one who’s been to all the rehearsals.
Manny: You know the part.
Toby: Of the hunter.  Why can’t we just have two panthers and one hunter?
Emma: Just forget it. I’ll go tell Liberty we’re not going on.
Toby: Fine, I’ll do it. But I’m not wearing a leotard.
Emma: You don’t have to. Toby, thank you, I mean it. (After Emma + Manny leaves, JT dances + Toby hits him)
 
Cut to: Girls Washroom
Terri + Paige are in there.
Paige: Ok, ready? (Paige comes out of a stall wearing a kind of short sparkly blue top) Viola.
Terri: Wow. That’s an incredible look…for you.
Paige: And you.
Terri: I don’t think so. I’d look like a sausage.
Paige: Silly. You’ll look great. We’re so going to get a record deal. Especially after you hear my ideas for the song.
Terri: Have you listened to it yet?  
Paige: Yeah.
Terri: And?
Paige: Well, it has promise. But right now, it sounds like a bunch of cows dying. (They laugh as Ashley enters)
Ashley: Paige, what are you wearing?
Paige: Our new look. You like?
Ashley: I don’t. You want us to look like prostitutes?
Paige: Fine. I’ll go get us some nun costumes.
Ashley: Very funny Paige.
Terri + Paige go outside to talk privately.
Paige: She’s holding us back.
Terri: I’ve tried Paige.
Paige: And failed. Listen, I have some ideas for the sing, but Ashley is going to hate them. We need the mystic oracles to convince her.
Terri: After Manny, I’m not messing with the oracles again. But…
Paige: But what?
Terri: What if you and I try your ideas? Made a new version of the song. Maybe Ash would like it.
Paige: That’s a big maybe. Huge. But, ok. And I think I know exactly who can help us. I just have to change. (They go back in the washroom)
 
Cut to: Media Immersion
Terri: Mr. Simpson, this synthesizer, you talked about in class once, didn’t you?
Mr. Simpson: Right.
Paige: Well, we weren’t really playing attention. But we wish we were.
Terri: ‘Cause we have this song here and we want to make another version of it.
Mr. Simpson: Well you came to the right place. This set up here is amazing. Wish I had back when I was in a band?
Paige: Stop, rewind. Mr. Simpson, you were in a band?
Mr. Simpson: Zit remedy. We even had a video. You ever head of us? (Singing) Everybody wants something that…(stops) I’ll take that as a no. Let me show you how this works. Ok.
 
Cut to: Gym
Emma, Manny, + Toby are practicing. Jungle music is playing as Emma dances.
Manny: (When Emma tilts her head up) Toby, that’s your cue.
Toby: Oh sorry. (Toby runs on stage. They dance, until Toby + Emma bump heads)
Emma: JT, stop the music. (The music stops) Toby, you keep leaning in the wrong way.
Toby: Right, sorry. Wanna try again?
Emma: No, I think I’ve had enough head injuries for today.
Toby: Ok.
Emma: Maybe you should try it at home, in front of the mirror or something.
Toby: Sure. (Emma + Manny leave)
JT: Man, how far will you go?
Toby: JT, shut up, now.
 
Cut to: media immersion
A really cool beat is being heard on the computer.
Paige: This is so perfect, Mr. Simpson. It’s so danceable.
Mr. Simpson: (He stops it) Y’all ready for this? (He presses a button + a new beat starts)
Terri: Wow.
 
Cut to: Hall
Ashley is waiting for them + she hears the noise.
Ashley: What is that? (She gets up to find out) 
 
Cut to: Media Immersion
Paige & Terri: (singing) Oh, just tell me how I can be, all that you ask of me. And still feel-
Ashley: I guess I missed the rehearsal. I don’t believe this. You guys re-did my song?
Mr. Simpson: Ashley, it’s just an alternate tape. Both versions are still on the computer, so there’s no problem.
Paige: We weren’t trying to ruin your song. We were taking it to another level, you know?
Ashley: No, Paige. I don’t know. First, the name, then the clothes, now my music.  Forget it.
Paige: Well I think we should go with our version right, Terri?
Ashley: Ter, there’s no argument. You know the song was better before.
Terri: I…I don’t know.
Paige: You should let the oracle decide. We can all agree on that. After all, Terri is in touch with the other side.
Ashley: Ok, we’ll consult the oracle.
Terri: mystic oracle, which version should we go with? (Ashley picks a card) High priestess. It means…go with the new. Sorry, Ash. The oracle has spoken.
 
Cut to: The next day
P.A.: Lunchtime cabaret will be commencing shortly. Those interested in attending should make their way to the gym.
 
Cut to: Room
Paige + Terri are sitting in their outfits
Paige & Terri: (singing) …and still feel that I am free, free to be who I am. (Ashley comes)
Paige: Did someone miss the announcement? We’re on in like 5 minutes Ash.
Ashley: I did some internet research on your last reading. The high priestess means stay with the old. You said go with the new. You lied, Ter. Why?
Terri: Because you hate all of my suggestions.
Ashley: That is so not true.
Terri: It is. I don’t get a say in anything. It’s not fair.
 
Cut to: Lunchtime Cabaret
Kids clap as Liberty goes on stage
Liberty: Welcome to Lunchtime Cabaret. I expect you’ll handle yourselves appropriately. So without further ado, please welcome our first act, a dance piece entitled Endangered. (She goes off the stage + Emma goes on in her panthers outfit + does her part, then Toby comes on beside her + they dance until they bump heads)
Emma: Toby.
Toby: Sorry.
Spinner: Man, this is too easy. (They continue dancing. Then Manny comes on + shoots them. Toby falls.)
Jimmy: What is this? (Everyone laughs loudly)
Sean: (Gets up) Hey! Shut up! Let them dance. (Emma smiles at him)
Toby: Emma, we’re not done. (They finish)
 
Cut to: Paige, Terri, + Ashley.
Paige: Guys, we’re going on in like two seconds.
Ashley: Look, the oracle said go with the old. You guys better watch out. Who knows what might happen if you defy them.
Liberty: Guys, you’re on.
Terri: I don’t care what the oracle says. We’re using with the new version.
Ashley: Fine. Then, you can use the new group, the one without me.
Paige: Fine. Ter, come on.
Liberty: Did you settle on a name? Finally?
Terri: Just call us “Paige + Terri”.
 
Cut to: Cabaret
Liberty: Degrassi’s own Paige + Terri!
Paige + Terri come on stage just as the beat starts.
Paige + Terri: (singing) (They move around + dance as they sing) Oh just tell me who I can be, all that you ask of me. And still feel that I am free, free to be who I am. Oh, just tell me how I can be, all that you ask of me. And still feel that I am free, free to be who I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (It also shows Ashley watching) (After the song is over and people are clapping, Paige + Terri hug then we see Ashley watching again + Terri sees her)
 
Cut to: Hall
Manny + Toby are walking.
Manny: That wasn’t so bad was it?
Toby: No, but my panther dancing days are over.  
Manny: Unless a certain someone asks you again, right?
Emma shows up.
Emma: Toby, you were great out there. Thank you so much.
Toby: Yeah, so, do you want to go and maybe…
Emma: (Sees Sean) I’ll be right back, ok? Sean. I don’t know what to say.
Sean: You don’t have to say anything.
Emma: The way you just stood up like that, told everyone off, it was so brave. (Kisses him on the cheek)
The camera moves to Toby watching + he looks very sad.
 
Cut to: Washroom
Paige + Terri are in there fixing their hair.
Paige: Ok, we were awesome.
Terri: I could totally do this for a living.
Ashley approaches them.
Paige: So?
Ashley: (Smiles) You guys were great!
Terri: Really?
Ashley: I admit it, your version totally rocked and the audience loved it.
Terri: I think you should join with the group again.
Ashley: Ok. But first things first what about a name?
Paige: Well there’s always Paige Michalchuk and the Sex Kittens.
Ashley: No.
Paige: Hello, let me finish. I’m talking about the initials, PMS.
Terri: PMS?
Paige: What? It’s edgy, it’s cool.
Ashley: And gross. Why don’t we stick with 3 Girls and a Keyboard?
Paige: No way.
Terri: Ter, it’s one to one. Your vote breaks the tie.
Paige: You should consult the oracle.
Terri: (Taking the cards + throwing them out) The oracle and I are no longer on speaking terms. But I sorta like PMS.
Ashley: Fine.
Paige: (Putting her arms around Ashley + Terri + kid of hugging them) Then we are PMS.
 
End Credits