"DAWSON'S CREEK" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and © by Procter & Gamble Productions (PGP) and Outbank Entertainment in association with Columbia TriStar/Sony Pictures Television. All Rights Reserved. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain.For Entertainment and Educational purposes only. No infringement intended. ==========================
TRANSCRIPT:
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(Eve is with Dawson in his room. She is watching Felicity while he reads through a PSAT study book.)

Dawson: This isn't exactly working out the way I'd planned. Um, the whole point of us spending all this time together was to actually talk, to get to know each other.

Eve: And then can we have sex?

Dawson: I'm not ruling that out, it's just, you know… First thing's first-movie night, we're supposed to watch movies.

Eve: I prefer TV.

Dawson: You've got to be kidding?

Eve: Actually, no.

Dawson: Movies are an art form. This is just a pabulum used between beer commercials.

Eve: Don't be such a snob, Dawson. I mean, a TV show is just like a movie, except shorter, with built-in bathroom breaks, and you get a new sequel every week.

Dawson: Sequels I hate on principle.

Eve: Suit yourself. I'm hooked.

(Eve turns back to watching Felicity. Dawson starts to think out-loud.)

Dawson: All right, you know what? Take Felicity, for example. I mean, if you've seen one hour of whiny, over-analytical teen angst, you've seen them all. Don't get me wrong, she's pretty, but what kind of a heroine is she? She's indecisive. She's basically paralyzed by some romantic notion of the way things are supposed to be. If you ask me, she's kind of chatty.

Eve: She's you.

Dawson: Excuse me?

Eve: She's you, Dawson. Except she's in college, and a girl…

Dawson: …and a fictional character on television.

Eve Exactly. Think about it. You're straight out of central casting. Perfect hair, perfect skin, you're a hero.

Dawson: Well, you obviously weren't watching last season, it was far from perfect. You know, which is in general my complaint about television. It's not reality. It's perfection. I mean, nobody ever blows it, or gets tested in any real way, or ever makes a wrong choice or a bad choice or a…

Eve: (moving on top of Dawson) Don't you know that's where I come in? You know, second season, shake things up. Screw with the (missed the word).

Dawson: Ah, a temptress… who will test our hero's very moral fiber.

Eve: Will he survive unscathed? Stay tuned.

Dawson: You know what else I hate about television? They always cut to commercials at the best part.

(Cut to commercial. As the scene comes back, Joey is woken by her alarm. She jumps out of bed and rushes to school, only to find out she's late for the PSAT. She's pounding on the door, but no one hears her. Suddenly, she wakes up from her dream. Andie's house - she's doing sit-ups in front of the TV, while reading her PSAT study book.)

Newscaster: Good Morning. It's 6:45 and it's 65 degrees and sunny…

Andie: Another glorious day on the Cape…

Newscaster: Coming up next… as millions of kids around the country cram for this weekends' exam, we'll talk to John (missed the last name), author of the best-selling 'Cracking the PSAT'…

Andie: (holding up her copy of the book) Ah, one step ahead of you, baby.

Newscaster: …is supposed to be the most competitive year ever…

Andie: Competitive? Ha! Try this on for size. Dogmatic. Synonyms: single-minded, stubborn, obdurate, adamant. Antonyms would be…

(Jack and Jen are walking to school.)

Jen: Wishy-washy, ambivalent, umm… equivocal. What? You thought that Dawson was the only one with such a prolific vocabulary?

Jack: No, I just didn't think we really had to study with our new found extracurricular activities.

Jen: Easy, tiger. You haven't won that football scholarship yet. OK, your turn. Pick a card, any card.

Jack: (picking a card and reading it) Nonchalant. OK. The synonyms would be…

Jack: (showing Pacey in bed asleep) Carefree, languid, oblivious…

(At Capeside High - Mr.. Green is lecturing the kids to help prepare for the PSAT.)

Mr. Green: OK, good. Now, antonyms. Mr.. Leery!

Dawson: Alert, attentive, concerned. That is provided you believe that the PSAT is a true measure of intelligence, and not a culturally biased weapon against the poor and disenfranchised.

Mr. Green: That's a good point, Dawson. Standardized testing isn't perfect. In fact, some might say that it's designed to trip you up, mess with your mind. Generally convince you that you're not as smart as you think you are, but if you want to go to college, it's the only game in town.

(The bell rings. Everybody starts to leave.)

Principle: OK, I need you to bring a number 2 pencil, and your brains. Both of them sharpened, thank you very much. Ah, Joey, will you hang on for a moment, please?

(Andie reading her cards and not really paying attention where she's walking.)

Andie: Belligerent… ah… crypt…

(She bumps into Pacey, everything falls to the floor.)

Andie: Ah, God is not listening to us. (As they bend to pick up the cards, they knock heads.)

Both: Ugh!

Andie: Don't worry, Pacey. This isn't going to be one of those horribly awkward "hope-boy-didn't-mean-all-those-hurtful-things-he-said-during-the-breakup" moment.

Pacey: Well, that's a relief 'cause I sure don't want to play the "guy-feels-guilty-about-breakup-even-though-it-was-girl-who-had-an-affair-with-the-mental-patient" scene.

Andie: Fair enough.

Pacey: (picking up study cards) Not that it's any of my business anymore, Andie, but have you ever heard of over-preparing for a test?

Andie: What? As opposed to not preparing at all?

Pacey: As opposed to making yourself crazy over something with the word 'practice' in front of it.

Andie: If you want to throw away everything we've-I mean you've worked for, that's fine by me.

Pacey: Yeah.

Andie: Me, on the other hand, I am not going to let our little bump in the road throw me off my chosen course. See ya around!

(Joey and Principal Green are talking in the library)

Mr. Green: You keep your wits about you, Joey, and you got a legitimate shot at a National Merit Scholarship.

Joey: Yeah, so everyone keeps telling me… and telling me… and telling me.

Mr. Green: Too much pressure on you, huh?

Joey: I couldn't sleep again last night.

Mr. Green: Trust me, I know, I've been there.

Joey: Well, I just keep thinking that if I don't ace this exam, I'm going to end up making beds and cleaning toilets at the 'dead end hotel' for the rest of my life.

Mr. Green: Listen, here's what I want you to do, I want you to take the night off, just to relax. Hang out with a friend, rent a movie, you're gonna do just fine. You're gonna do better than fine. Now the faculty and I, have all the confidence in the world in you.

(Out in the hall, Joey approaches Dawson's locker.)

Joey: Dawson.

Dawson: Joey, hi.

Joey: Um, since we've agreed to "peace with honor", would it be against the rules of engagement to ask for your help?

Dawson: Of course not.

Joey: Good, 'cause I could use some.

Dawson: What do you need?

Joey: I don't know, a night of mindless entertainment. Jurassic Park … or maybe one of those meteorite/asteroid/atomic bomb movies where Bruce Willis or George Clooney or someone with a receding hairline somehow manages to save the entire planet without breaking a sweat. I just need something to take my mind off the test.

Dawson: You've really got a lot riding on it, I know.

Joey: Just my entire future.

Dawson: Tell me when and where.

Joey: How about tonight?

Dawson: Tonight? Umm…

(Eve joins Dawson at his locker.)

Eve: Hey sports fans!

Joey: (turning to Dawson) How's 9 o'clock?

Dawson: It's just that tonight, she and I were thinking, umm… why don't you come with us?

Joey: Yeah, I might, on another planet, in a different universe. (looks at Eve) No offence.

(Joey walks off disappointed.)

Eve: What was that about?

(Mitch is with the football team practicing on the field.)

Mitch: I'd appreciate some contact, people! Come off the ground hard, tuff tuff! Put some hurt on! EXECUTE! You're up, McPhee!

Henry: Alright, Jack, you can do this. Now just remember, when you're hit, button up, become (missed the word), but hug that ball. Hug that ball!

Jack: Hug that ball, hug that ball…

(As the whistle blows, Jack attempts to run through the chute - a double line of guys blocking his path. After about 4 guys. He's knocked to the ground.)

Mitch: How to hit, baby, how to hit! Get up, McPhee, you're defacing the landscape. Again!

Jack: Come on, Coach. Can't you see what's going on here? They're singling me out.

Mitch: Yeah, but not for the reasons you think.

Jack: Give me a break, it's obvious.

Mitch: Look, Jack. Let's get this straight. You are still the new kid on the block, and you are not protecting the football the way you should. Now do it again. McPhee! Three-point stance!

(The whistle blows. Jack attempts again, but after 6 guys, is knocked to the ground.)

Henry: Can you hear me, Jack? Jack, do you know where you are? How many fingers?

Jack: I think I'm gonna hurl.

(At the Marina, Joey is working.)

Rob: I mean, this guy's not exactly what you call a ladies' man, but I tell him, it is easy. There's only one rule. Plain and simple. Give the ladies what they want.

Joey: How about giving me what I want, Rob?

Rob: I thought you'd never ask.

Joey: Friday night off, so I can study for the PSATs, they're Saturday.

Rob: Yeah, sure, why not? No sweat. I remember what it was like. Of course, I didn't take the PSATs.

Joey: What? Daddy built the university?

Rob: No, no, just endowed it. Actually, I hired a ringer. Seriously. Paid some brainiac a couple of thousand to take it for me. Won me a scholarship, too.

Joey: Well, since, I don't have that kind of cash, thank you. I owe you one.

Rob: Well, here's a thought. You let me take you out for a post-PSAT celebration. Saturday night, you and me.

Joey: Oh, thanks, but, umm, husband doesn't really like me seeing other people.

Rob: Oh, sure. I thought you were going to say you had to wash your hair.

Joey: No, that's Wednesdays. Actually, Rob, the truth is, I'm a lesbian.

Rob: Anyone I know? So is it a date? Saturday night, what do you say?

Joey: Look, would it be all right if I just said no?

Rob: Yeah, sure thing Potter. No problem.

(Dawson is reading his PSAT study book in his room. He looks to the window, obviously waiting for Eve, then goes back to his book. When he looks back, there's an apple sitting on the ledge. He goes to the window.)

Dawson: I was starting to worry about you.

Eve: I was searching for the perfect apple. Go ahead, take a bite. See if it tastes as good as it looks.

Dawson: And if I do?

Eve: You will forever know the difference between good and evil. Get out here, Dawson. It's a beautiful night.

Dawson: I haven't been out here since… since Joey and I were still…

Eve: Joey? The ubiquitous brunette? The one who hasn't yet learned the power and sway she holds over the hearts of men?

Dawson: She lives down the creek. She used to sleep over all the time, before we developed secondary sexual characteristics.

Eve: I had a boy next door.

Dawson: You did?

Eve: Doesn't everybody?

Dawson: What was his name?

Eve: Monroe. We literally lived in adjoining houses on the base.

Dawson: You were a military brat?

Eve: I was Army, born and bred. Matter of fact, we could see into each other's bedrooms.

Dawson: Really? That must have been… convenient.

Eve: No kidding. Only problem is… he was my dad's commanding officer.

(Dawson is a little shocked.)

Eve: I brought you something else.

Dawson: What's this?

Eve: Call it a study aid.

Dawson: That is not…

Eve: Oh, it is. An advanced copy of Saturday's PSAT.

Dawson: Why are you showing this to me?

Eve: Well, I was planning on giving it to you.

Dawson: There's no way I can do that.

Eve: Don't be so selfish, Dawson. I mean, if it goes against your moral code, fine, but surely there must be somebody you know who could use it. The apple was a metaphor. This is the real thing. (The following day, the gang is in study hall, standing around a table.)

Pacey: An envelope? This is why you covertly hushed us into a corner?

Joey: Pacey, read the fine print. It says ETS, as in Educational Testing Service.

Jen: Dawson, this is not what I think it is?

Dawson: Think again.

Andie: Oh God.

Jack: How'd you get this?

Dawson: Does it matter?

Andie: Of course it matters. When we're all incriminated, and sent to federal prison, I'd like to know just who I'm taking the rap for.

Dawson: Somebody gave it to me.

Joey: A certain someone with blonde locks, and a name that rhymes with Steve?

Pacey: Oh, she's good. I like that girl, she's good.

Joey: Once again, Dawson Leery proves the groin is mightier than the brain.

Jen: Well, I mean, have you looked inside, it could be a joke, anybody can just whip up a label.

Pacey: (going to open it) There's one way to find out.

Andie: Just go ahead Pacey, wade to complete your return to the halls of academic loserdom.

Pacey: Maybe you'd like to open it up Andie? I mean, after all, cheating seems to be an activity that you're real comfortable with these days.

Jack: Look, nobody's opening anything. Dawson, just bring it back to where you got it, and none of us ever saw it.

Jen: Gee, not to sound like the only typical high school student here, but really, as the only typical high school student, what's the harm in peeking?

Pacey: Peeking? I could have us a detailed crib sheet in half-an-hour.

Dawson: Guys, look. Admittedly, my first reaction was to dump it, but… you heard Principal Green, I mean, these things are a game. And as wrong as cheating sounds, I thought I'd bring it up to you guys for discussion.

Joey: OK, morals to Dawson, come in, Dawson. This is wrong. Besides, it's the PSAT, no one's even required to take it, let alone do well.

Dawson: Unless you want to qualify for a National Merit Scholarship (he pushes the envelope toward Joey.)

Jen: (slides the envelope toward Jack) Or if you've been too busy getting the crap beaten out of you to study.

Jack: (sliding it toward Andie) Or, if you REALLY want to go to Harvard.

Andie: (sliding it toward Pacey) Or, if a failed relationship has put you through the emotional wringer, and you just don't care these days.

Pacey: (slides it back toward Dawson) Or if you've just been too darn busy getting busy.

Dawson: Point is, we could all use it for something.

Mr. Green: Alright people, let's take our seats! (Dawson flips the envelope over to cover the label. Everyone starts to take their seats.) One sample math section coming your way.

(The fire alarm goes off. Students start to exit the room.)

Mr. Green: On second thought… all right, you know the drill, leave everything exactly where it is and file out in an orderly fashion.

(Dawson tries to stall so he can hide the envelope, but Mr.. Green remains by his side.)

Mr. Green: Mr. Leery, now please.

Dawson: OK.

(After fire drill - Dawson is looking under the desk when the rest of the students walk back into study hall.)

Joey: Dawson.

Dawson: It's gone.

Joey: What's gone?

Dawson: IT!

Joey: Very funny (she looks under the table).

Dawson: I already checked.

Jack: You just left it here?

Dawson: I had no choice, Green was hovering.

Jen: OK, I took it.

(Everyone looks at her.)

Jen: Ahhh… just joking. Good God!

Dawson: That's not funny. Pacey, please tell me you circled around and saved all our own lives?

Pacey: Excuse me?

Dawson: It's missing.

Pacey: What?

Dawson: IT!

Pacey: (shaking his head) Uh-uh.

Dawson: Uh-uh, is it missing, or uh-uh, you don't have it?

Pacey: Both… or neither. I really don't know what you guys are talking about.

Andie: Pacey, will you quit screwing around!

Pacey: Oh, I am not screwing around Andie. I'm just as upset as your are, dismayed, even broken-hearted.

Mr. Green: (approaches the group) Ah, the McLoughlan group, right here at Capeside. Oh, I love an early morning debate. What's today's topic? No, wait a minute, don't tell me, don't tell me. 'Why is the PSAT not an oral exam?' Well unfortunately boys and girls, you're on your own with this one, so let's do me a favor and get back to it. Independently, OK? Let's go, c'mon.

(At the Marina - Joey is filling someone's gas tank, staring off into space. The tank starts to overflow as Rob brings her back to attention.)

Rob: Joey, what the hell-what do you think you're doing?

Joey: It's a mistake. Calm down already.

Rob: (to the couple in the boat) Look, I'm sorry about that. She's new here. Your gas is on the house.

Joey: You didn't have to do that. I filled the tank. So I spilled a little. It's not exactly the Exxon Valdez.

Rob: That thirty-eight bucks is coming out of your paycheck Potter, and consider your precious night off cancelled.

Joey: What?!

Rob: You heard me. You're working tomorrow night.

Joey: Oh, so that's how it's going to be?

Rob: That's how what's going to be?

Joey: Look, this is not about me messing up on the job. This is about your bruised little ego. Not used to female rejection, are you Rob?

Rob: I have no idea what you're talking about, Potter.

(Bathroom at Jen's house - she is bandaging Jacks' ribs.)

Jack: Damn, Jen!

Jen: Geez, just try not to make any sharp movements, all right?

Jack: It tends to happen with a certain pain striking my chest cavity.

Jen: I thought that you guys wore pads out there?

Jack: Yeah, well, I must have worn the placebo pads.

Jen: Well, at least you can maintain you sense of humor through all this.

Jack: Until it gets beaten out of me too.

Jen: Yeah.

Jack: Sorry. Tomorrow I'm turning in my helmet.

Jen: Jack, you can't.

Jack: Yeah? Watch me.

Jen: Alright my friend, you want to be a quitter? Go right ahead, be a quitter.

Jack: OK Ward, I'm not Beaver Cleaver and we're not in black and white here. And no half-assed, lame-induced reverse psychology is going to stop me from preventing my corpse from being carried off that field.

Jen: Alright, alright. Mock the sentiment, but you can't deny the truth. When you quit something, you're telling yourself that you're not good enough.

Jack: Oh, OK. So what you're saying is that, what I learn out there on the grid iron about sacrifice and pain will be of infinite value later on in life?

Jen: Mm-mm.

Jack: And if I quit now, I'll most surely quit in the more important… contests of the future?

Jen: Exactly.

Jack: Yeah, well, I'm quitting.

Jen: OK, smartass, how about this for a reason-you caught the ball. Now, call me corny, call me superstitious, but fate tossed you that ball, Jack. Who knows why, but it did. Maybe you're meant to be a well-known gay athlete who inspires others to come to terms with who they are. Maybe you're meant to help the school actually win a few games and develop a sense of morale. Or, maybe this is just the first step towards meeting someone else in a similar situation. You don't know the reason, but until you do, hang on to that ball.

Jack: That was cheesier that your first response.

(Jen goes up to him to fix the bandages and pulls tightly)

Jack: Ow! C'mon.

Jen: Never talk back to someone who could cut off your air supply.

(It's night time. Dawson and Eve are back at school, looking for the envelope.)

Eve: You're wasting your time, Dawson.

Dawson: It's got to be here somewhere.

Eve: How do you figure?

Dawson: Look Eve, could you at least pretend to help save my ass?

Eve: It is a cute ass, but…

Dawson: But what?

Eve: We don't have a chance in hell of finding what you're looking for.

Dawson: How do you know that? The test was at this table one minute, and the next minute it was gone. Obviously it has to have gone somewhere!

Eve: Quick Dawson! Somebody's coming.

(They hide under a table.)

Eve: The light.

(Dawson turns the flashlight off. A guard enters the room and does a once over. After he walks past:)

Dawson: (whispering) Question: what would look better on my high school transcripts? A) Cheating; B) possession of stolen materials; C) breaking and entering; or D) all of the above?

Eve: You're right, Dawson.

(The security guard leaves.)

Dawson: About what?

Eve: Let's get out of here. Besides, if you really want that exam package, it shouldn't be too difficult.

Dawson: What do you mean?

Eve: It didn't disappear, Dawson. Somebody took it.

Dawson: How do you know that?

Eve: Call it female intuition.

Dawson: Eve, if you're right, it could have been anybody. There were dozens of kids in that room when the alarm went off.

Eve: Process of elimination - of those kids, how many knew what was in the envelope?

Dawson: Five… six including me.

Eve: Who would steal something they didn't know the value of? See my point? Face it, Dawson, in the privacy of their own room, one of your friends is right now slipping a finger between the pages, and breaking the seal.

(The gang is seated in Principal Green's office.)

Mr. Green: (yelling) One month into my tenure here as principal at Capeside High and I've got a national crisis! It makes no difference if one of you takes the fall for this, or you all go down together in some sort of grand gesture of teenage loyalty. But somebody better 'fess up, and better 'fess up soon!

(Joey gets out of her seat and goes to the doorway.)

Mr. Green: Otherwise, you are all expelled.

Dawson: Joey?

(Joey smiles and then pulls the fire alarm. The ringing turns into Joey's alarm clock. Later in the classroom.)

Joey: So what kind of black market booty do you have for us today, Dawson? Just happen to find out what Microsoft will be turning out tomorrow?

Dawson: Look, I called you guys here, because I wanted to give you all - give us all-a chance to rectify the situation.

Jack: How?

Dawson: Whoever stole the test needs to give it back.

Jen: Well, wasn't it already stolen, Dawson?

Pacey: I love the way that this girl thinks.

Dawson: Look, the point is, it's missing. Yesterday it wasn't.

Joey: So what's the harm in just letting it be lost, Dawson?

Jack: Yeah, I agree. Whoever needed it was no more desperate than the rest of us, only quicker.

Andie: Doesn't it bother anyone what this says about our group's level of integrity?

Pacey: Well, I think I speak for our group when I respond with hearty NO.

Jen: I'm starting to feel like some sort of psychologically abused lab rat.

Joey: You're not the lab rat, Jen, Dawson is.

Dawson: Watch it, Joey.

Joey: Throwing parties, crashing boats, upstaging marching bands. Dawson, if your rope was any more yanked, you'd be a church bell.

Dawson: Joey, Eve has nothing to do with this.

Joey: Oh, no? It's typical Dawson Leery behavior to offer your friends contraband?

Dawson: She didn't tell me to do anything with that test.

Joey: You are so blinded by her Covergirl looks, you wouldn't even notice if she did. I bet when she offered you that test, you didn't fire one ethical comment her way, did you? It's just your friends who have to sit here and… and suffer through the Dawson Leery morality play. Bleach blonde hoe bags, willing to put out, need not audition.

Dawson: Are you finished?

Joey: I could go on.

Dawson: Look, I'm sorry I brought you all into this, but one of us has taken the charade to another level. Here's the deal. I'm going to leave my locker unlocked. Whoever has the test will put it inside by 5:30 today.

Pacey: Oh, come on, Dawson. The petty thief among us already left the crime scene. They're not going to return that thing now, what's the incentive?

Dawson: To do the right thing.

(Andie is waiting for Pacey in the hallway.)

Andie: You got a second? It's important, Pacey.

Pacey: Sure. You know, Andie, I'm really not in the mood for some sort of heart-to-heart today, so if we could kinda cut this thing short?

Andie: OK.

Andie: (giving Pacey a box) Consider this final negotiations.

Pacey: What's this?

Andie: Look for yourself.

Pacey: It's… some T-shirts, a Panther's cap. Dumbo. This was the first thing I ever gave to you.

Andie: Everything you've ever given me is in this box. All pictures, CD's, jewelry. It's all there.

Pacey: You don't think maybe this is a little harsh?

Andie: Pacey. This isn't going to one of those long, drawn out break-ups. You're not dealing the basket case you met last year. I have my life in order, and I intend on doing everything I can to keep it that way. I have a plan.

Pacey: Right, Harvard, Harvard.

Andie: I wanted you to be a part of it, and if you can't, you get nothing.

Pacey: (holding up a picture of the two of them) Not even memories?

Andie: Especially not those.

Pacey: Fine. Well, if those are the terms, where do I sign?

Andie: You just did.

(Jack and Henry at football practice.)

Henry: (egging him on) All right, Jacky boy, now move out, now to go, you hit, you hit… work, work, work!

(Jack stops.)

Henry: You know what you need?

Jack: What?

Henry: A mantra-a private word or sound. Everyone's got one.

Jack: Really? What for?

Henry: Something to focus on, take your mind off the fact that you're about to be annihilated by a 250 pound lineman snorting fire at you from the other side of the ball.

Jack: Oh, that's great.

Henry: Seriously, Jack. Anything to stop from thinking. In this sport, thought equals death.

Jack: Let me ask you something. Why are you doing this?

Henry: What do you mean?

Jack: Helping me. I don't…

Henry: That's easy. Two reasons. First, I want to win football games. And without your magic hands, we don't stand a chance. And two is… well, well you're gay, right? I mean, it's not supposed to be like a secret or anything?

Jack: No.

Jack: Why the sudden interest in my sexual orientation?

Henry: Well… there's this, this girl, that you know. More like an angel really, or a goddess.

Jack: Who?

Henry: I dream about her, Jack. Every night, heavy dreams about, about… about her lips, her breasts, her legs. If she would just allow me near her, just smell her sweet smell, maybe even kiss me, or take me in her arms, deliver me from suffering and falsity it would prove that there wasn't anything bad, or… or anything empty-hearted in this world that couldn't be corrected.

Jack: (laughing) Slow down Henry.

Henry: See how I am? You gotta help me Jack, I'm begging you.

Jack: You're not… you're not talking about who… I think you talking…

Henry: A certain head cheerleader.

Jack: Jen Lindley?

(Henry nods and Jack bursts out laughing)

Henry: What?

Jack: Word to the wise: this is no reflection on you Henry, at all, but um, you're a freshman. OK? You have about as much chance with Jen Lindley as I have of making it through that chute tomorrow.

(At the Marina - Joey is studying when suddenly the service bell rings.)

Joey: Be there in a minute!

(Joey goes out to find Pacey, still ringing the bell.)

Joey: No loitering, Pacey.

Pacey: (Obviously drunk) Listen, I am a legitimate customer, and I demand some service, OK?

Joey: Have you been drinking?

Pacey: (holding his arms up) Only liquor, I promise.

Joey: What's wrong?

Pacey: Oh, it's nothing that a little bonfire won't fix. (he picks up box and begins walking down the pier) You see, our friend Andie, decided that she needed to cleanse me from her life to maintain her sanity. The casualties were the contents of this box.

(Pacey trips, falls flat on his face, and the box goes sailing into the water.)

Pacey: Ahh. Hello Mr. Dock.

Joey: Pacey…

Pacey: Hey, Jo?

Joey: Yeah?

Pacey: Can you do me a favor? I probably shouldn't go home like this. You think you could ring my dad and tell him I'm hanging here?

Joey: Yeah.

(Joey goes to the office to use the phone. Pacey reaches for the photo of him and Andie which remained on the pier.)

Pacey: That's my girl.

(Still fumbling to grab it, he knocks it into the water and watches it sink to the bottom. Dawson and Eve enter the school and walk up the corridor towards his locker.)

Eve: You're like a Saint Bernard, Dawson. Loyal and faithful to the last.

Dawson: In about thirty seconds I'm going to open that locker and prove you wrong.

Eve: How can you be so certain?

Dawson: Because I believe in happy endings, Eve. I always have.

Eve: 'Happy endings.' There's a contradiction in terms if I ever heard one.

Dawson: You're enjoying this?

Eve: Not really. It's just that my taste in fairy tales usually runs more towards 'The Brothers Grimm'.

Dawson: How can you be so relentlessly cynical?

Eve: How can you be so profoundly naïve?

(Dawson opens his locker. The test is not there.)

Eve: All is not lost my sweet prince.

Dawson: You know what Eve? Just… leave me the hell alone, OK?

Eve: Are you sure? I can help you get the test back?

Dawson: How?

Eve: By telling you who took it.

Dawson: I'm listening.

Eve: Tell me who you think it is?

Dawson: (pauses) I don't know.

Eve: Yes you do. Whoever you were just thinking of… that's the thief.

Dawson: It's not that simple.

Eve: It is. Simple and obvious.

Dawson: I don't buy it. If there's one thing that I've learned from these stupid PSAT prep books is that the most obvious choice, is usually the wrong one.

Eve: We're not talking about standardized testing here, Dawson. Take a look at your yearbook. It's a crystal ball. The ones most likely to succeed usually succeed. And the one most likely to wind up in a chain gang, usually has some rock-breaking in his future. Welcome to the real world, Dawson, where the first person to stab you in the back is your best friend.

(Evening at Joey's work. She is asleep at the desk, while Pacey sits outside. Dawson walks up.)

Pacey: (still drunk) Well, if it isn't Inspector Get-A-Clue-So. What brings you to these parts at this late hour?

Dawson: You're drunk.

Pacey: You're quick.

Dawson: It's the night before the PSAT, Pacey, why are you drinking?

Pacey: I don't need to study. I mean, I got the test, right?(laughs)

Dawson: (seriously) If you have it, give it back.

Pacey: Oh, I wish I did, Hombre. I mean, I really wish I did. But I don't. I don't. It's not here, it's not at home under my bed with my Playboy's. It is nowhere to be found.

Dawson: Pacey, we've be friends for 16 years and I'm not stupid.

Pacey: Friends, huh? Friends. (he stumbles down the dock) You know, that word 'friends', is an interesting word. It implies that you would actually believe you 'friend' when he's telling you something.

Dawson: Well, you can tell me the truth.

Pacey: (laughs) You want to know what I find so very amusing about this situation? I mean, what I think is so really, really rich about all this? Is that you, yourself, were capable of stealing this test. All right, you've thought about it. You didn't throw that test away, you didn't give it back to Eve. You brought the test to us.

Dawson: No! (approaches Pacey) I wanted to consult the people I trusted to determine what the best thing was to do. I never thought that anyone was be so weak, or so self-motivated as to actually swipe it.

Pacey: Weak and self-motivated, huh? Now which one of those two colorful adjectives would I be?

Dawson: You are who you are, Pacey.

Pacey: Yes I am, Dawson. And so are you. (getting mad) You, Dawson Leery, are a self-righteous son-of-a-bitch who cares more about his rose-colored, defunct 1950's belief system than the people who fail to live up it, huh?

Dawson: Interesting choice of words, coming from a smug, cold-hearted son-of-a-bitch who just dumped his girlfriend after she begged and pleaded for an ounce of sympathy!

Pacey: At least I didn't send her father to prison.

Dawson: No, you just made her go crazy.

(Pacey punches Dawson, who returns the punch. Pacey is knocked to the ground as Joey emerges from the office.)

Joey: Dawson, what are you doing? (She goes to Pacey's aid)

Pacey: It's my fault, I'm sorry.

Joey: Dawson, this has got to stop. (to Pacey) Are you OK?

(Later at the Marina. Pacey sits in the office, messing with his wounded lip. Joey walks in with a Pepsi.)

Joey: Here, I brought you a Pepsi.

Pacey: No thanks, I'm not thirsty.

Joey: (handing it to him) It's for your lip, moron, in lieu of ice.

Pacey: (holding the Pepsi to his lip) I can't believe he thought I took it.

Joey: So what, Pacey?

Pacey: I thought if I'd earned anyone's respect, it was Dawson's. I mean, if the guy who knows you better than anyone on earth thinks you're a loser, then maybe…

Joey: Then maybe you are one? C'mon. I mean, I thought you were a loser for years, but you've never believed me.

Pacey: It's just, you know, when does a person start believing the general consensus about themselves?

Joey: When it's right.

Pacey: Do me a favor?

Joey: What?

Pacey: Would you tell your friend, Dawson, that I'm innocent. I mean, he'll believe you.

Joey: Oh, my friend? Look, he's your friend too. And you know as well as I do that he's somewhere right now sulking over the gravity of his wrongful accusation.

Pacey: Oh, well, good. Let him stew in his own pride for awhile.

Joey: Oh, we're all guilty of that.

Pacey: Yeah, well, I'd never accuse him of cheating.

Joey: Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure he would never take the first swing at you.

Pacey: He started that whole thing!

Joey: I'm not getting into this.

Pacey: OK, so tell me?

Joey: What?

Pacey: What do you think happened to that test

Joey: (shrugs her shoulders) I don't know. And to be honest, I… I don't want to know.

(Pacey has opened his Pepsi and tries to drink out of the corner of his mouth.)

Joey: There are certain things in life you're better off not knowing. Some things you wish you never knew, never asked, and ah, never saw.

Pacey: OK, so tell me honestly, (referring to his busted lip) does it look that bad?

Joey: On your face, any reconstructive surgery whatsoever, is a definite improvement.

(Dawson is sitting in front of his house, out by the creek. Eve walks up.)

Eve: Did you get it back?

(Dawson turns to look at her and she sees he has a black eye.)

Dawson: Not exactly.

Eve: What happened?

Dawson: That's what I've been sitting here trying to figure out.

Eve: And?

Dawson: The only thing I can come up with is you, Eve. You happened to me. You and that stupid test.

Eve: Which one of us gave you the black eye?

Dawson: Look Eve, I accept my blame in this, but don't even try to tell me you didn't know what giving me this test would do.

Eve: (begins laughing) Look, if crafting me as a villain in your little mystery is what it takes for you to sleep at night, go right ahead. The fact is, we're all criminals Dawson, in one way or another. It's just the stupid ones who get caught.

Dawson: (gets up to leave) Nice knowing you, Eve.

Eve: (stops him) Is that how it works? Someone offers you a view of human nature that's even remotely truthful, and you just walk away from them? It terrifies you, doesn't it? That wholesome Dawson Leery could be so overwhelmingly attracted to someone so flawed. So real.

(Eve kisses Dawson's chin, as he tilts his head away from her.)

Dawson: Eve, if the purpose of us spending time together was to get to know each other, you know what Now that I know you, I don't really like you.

(Dawson walks away. Eve is shocked. The next day, football practice. The cheerleaders work on some cheers, as Henry stares at Eve.)

Jack: Parker! C'mon, remove your tongue from the turf. I need some words of encouragement.

Henry: Ah, sure thing. How's your ribs?

Jack: Oh, you know, I can still breathe, but then again, practice isn't over yet.

Mitch: Alright people, get your helmets on. McPhee, you're first in the chute.

Henry: You got your mantra?

(Jack nods)

Henry: What is it?

Jack: Fug.

Henry: Fug?

Jack: Ah-huh. F-U-G. It's the only word I've got in my head right now. Fug. Fug! FUG!!

Henry: Then go with it.

(As the whistle blows, Jack starts through the chute. He's fighting off the players, when he finally makes it to the end. Everyone is going nuts, including the cheerleaders.)

Mitch: Way to go! Way to go!

Jen: (clapping her hands) Way to go. Unreal.

(Henry sees Jen. He runs straight at her chanting 'fug, fug, fug,'.)

Jen: (seeing Henry, getting kinda scared) What the… (Henry swerves past her.) What the hell was that?

(Study Hall. The students sit with their PSAT exams, waiting for instructions.)

Mr. Green: Today's PSAT test will be two-and-a-half hours long. As you know, there are five sections: two verbal, two mathematics, and one writing. There will be one fifteen minute break. Are there any questions? All right. You people have thirty minutes to complete sections…

(Dawson takes his test up to Mr. Green.)

Mr. Green: Can I help you, Mr. Leery.

(Dawson hands him the test.)

Mr. Green: What are you doing?

Dawson: It's a long story.

Mr. Green: OK, if there's no-one else…

(Pacey takes his test to Mr.. Green and hands it to him.)

Pacey: I left the oven on. (He smiles at Joey as he leaves.)

(Dawson is waiting outside on the school steps. Pacey comes out to join him.)

Dawson: What took you so long?

Pacey: Ah, it's those analogies, man, they're a killer. Remind me why we just did that, again?

Dawson: Because, if we're gonna beat the crap out of each other, it should at least be over a chick.

(They both walk down the steps and off campus. Back inside.)

Mr. Green: (starting his stopwatch) You may begin.

(Andie is shown bubbling in an entire row of answers at once, before she's even opened her test booklet. She looks up to see if anyone noticed, then opens her book. Once the book is open, she goes back to bubbling in a bunch of answers. Fade out.)