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TRANSCRIPT:
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[Scene: ME's Office. Jordan's Office. Jordan is sitting at her desk. She sees someone walking down the corridor towards her holding a dozen or so helium balloons. The person's face is hidden from the balloons. Jordan gets up.] JORDAN: Whoa, whoa. Uh, Mr. balloon guy? Hi. Those are for Jordan Cavanaugh. Um, she doesn't work here anymore.

ACCENTED VOICE: This is county morgue, correct?

JORDAN: Yes, it is. Yeah, but she retired. You're just gonna have to take them back.

(Woody peeks around the balloons.)

WOODY: Happy birthday, girl!

(He laughs.)

JORDAN: Woody, I told you what I wanted most for my birthday was not to be reminded it was my birthday.

(Woody squeezes through the door with the balloons.)

WOODY: Then I guess I shouldn't give you this.

(He holds out a palm-sized box.)

JORDAN: I see you're good at keeping promises.

WOODY: Just go with it, Jordan. It's called happy birthday, okay? Happy birthday. (She opens the box and pulls out another box. She gives him a look.) Don't worry, it's not what you think it is. Well, maybe it is but... I don't know, I just wanted to get you something special. (She opens it up to find a ring inside.) Show you how much you mean to me.

JORDAN: A diamond ring?

WOODY: It's a friendship ring. Okay, calm down. It goes on your right hand, not your left. The lady at the jewellery store said that they're all the rage.

JORDAN: Woody, you shouldn't have.

WOODY: Well, it's diamond. Your birthstone.

JORDAN: No, I mean, you shouldn't have. I can't accept this.

WOODY: You don't like it?

JORDAN: No, I love it, it's beautiful. It's just, it's too much, okay?

(She puts it back in the box. Woody's cell rings.)

WOODY: Excuse me. (He answers it.) This is Hoyt. Yeah, what? Okay. (He hangs up.) There's a dead nun at the Sisters of St. Benedict Convent. So I guess, uh...

JORDAN: Yeah, uh...

(She hands back the box.)

WOODY: Happy birthday.

(He hands her the balloons and leaves.)

[Scene: Outside St. Benedict Convent. Woody and Mother Superior are there.]

WOODY: These doors are always locked?

MOTHER: We're a cloistered order. My sisters and I have little need to go out.

(Jordan and Nigel arrive.)

JORDAN: Well, fancy meeting you here.

WOODY: Mother Superior, this is Jordan Cavanaugh and Nigel Townsend of the Medical Examiners Office. Okay, Meg Campbell,  aka Sister Theresa, age 19. Last seen at dinner around 5:00 last night. Said she was not feeling well, skipped evening  prayers. Sister Gwendolyn checked on her at 7:00 this morning.

[Time lapse. Sister Theresa's Room. Sister Theresa is laying on the floor. Jordan, Nigel, Woody and Mother Superior walk  in.]

WOODY: This is what she found. Somehow no one heard a thing. The theory is they were all in chapel.

(Nigel examines the bed. Jordan looks at her hand.)

JORDAN: Lividity's not set. She's been dead less than eight hours.

NIGEL: There's bite marks on the pillow.

JORDAN: Particul hemorrhaging in the eyes. Could be she was suffocated.

WOODY: Where'd all the blood come from?

JORDAN: Good question. No apparent external wounds. (She looks under her dress.) Oh, boy. There's a torn umbilical cord  coming out of her.

NIGEL: Mother of god.

WOODY: A nun had a baby? How can that be?

JORDAN: She's a woman first, a nun second. What I want to know is where's the baby?

 OPENING CREDITS

 [Scene: Jazz Bar. Music is playing. Police are walking around. A body with stab wounds is laying on the floor. A woman,  Charlie, is sitting at the bar. Garret and Bug walk in.]

GARRET: Great. Crime scene with its own soundtrack.

BUG: At least the song's apropos.

GARRET: In more ways than one. This place used to be owned by Ivory Davis.

BUG: Who is?

GARRET: Was. Jazz legend. This guy could play piano like nobody else. His version of this song would break your heart in  two.

CHARLIE: Over and over again. Every time I heard it. He was my father.

GARRET: You're Charlie?

CHARLIE: Wow. Someone who reads the liner notes. I'm impressed. Are you a cop?

GARRET: Medical examiner.

CHARLIE: I thought you're more the detective type. Chandleresque. Bogart eyes.

(Roz Framus walks in.)

ROZ: Hey, Buggles. Glad to see they bought in the A team. Hey, uh, excuse me, I thought I told you to wait outside until I  can take your statement. Can you turn off the damn music in here?

CHARLIE: The song was on when I came in. On repeat. Subtle.

ROZ: Hardly. The body's her boyfriend. Stephen Turk. Pro handle knife stuck in his heart. Seems someone was trying to make  a point.

CHARLIE: Detective Framus?

ROZ: Framus.

CHARLIE: Was it? Thinks I killed him.  Technically the knife is mine because it belongs to the bar. The song that my father  made famous was playing on the stereo. And if you ask around, there's plenty of people that tell you I thought Stephen was  a bastard. Is that about right, detective?

ROZ: Yeah. Motive, opportunity, signature.

GARRET: But?

CHARLIE: How stupid would I have to be to do this here in my own club?

BUG: Stupid or twisted.

ROZ: Or arrogant enough to think we wouldn't be able to prove it.

CHARLIE: That's what you're here for. Right, Bogart?

(Charlie walks away.)

[Scene: St. Benedict Convent. Jordan and Woody are talking to Sister Gwendolyn.]

GWENDOLYN: When I found Sister Theresa... all that blood...

JORDAN: That doesn't mean the baby didn't survive. Either way, we know someone took it.

MOTHER: I imagine it was whoever murdered Sister Theresa. Believe me, the only baby in this convent is there in Mary's arms.

(She points to the statue.)

WOODY: Locked front door, eight foot high spiked fence around the grounds. You're the only one who's got the master keys.  How did anybody get in or out?

MOTHER: I haven't a clue.

JORDAN: You live together 24/7. No one  knew about this pregnancy?

GWENDOLYN: Sister Theresa's been quiet, moody the past few months, but...

MOTHER: She was a very private person. It was our one misgiving about her future here. Her inability to open up. To trust  people.

WOODY: I know the type.

JORDAN: You know, there's a missing baby. Maybe you and I should...

WOODY: One last thing. Tell me about her family.

MOTHER: She had a brother, Joey. He was listed as her emergency contact.

WOODY: Great. I'm gonna need that number. And her parents?

GWENDOLYN: She and her brother were orphans. She said that's what attracted her to our way of life. Making god's house her  home.

WOODY: We're gonna find out who did this to her. You have our word on that.

[Scene: ME's Office. Trace Evidence. Stephen Turk is on a gurney. Garret and Bug are there. Lily walks in.]

BUG: What was that film? The Pacino one. The record's playing at the scene of the crime?

LILY: Uh, Sea Of Love. I love that movie.

BUG: He thinks she's the killer and then falls for her.

LILY: Ah, talk about your...

GARRET: I'm working here, people, okay?

LILY: I found Stephen Turk's next of kin. Sister in Chicago. She said he hit her up for a loan recently. Thinks he might've  had some debt.

BUG: Come on, seventeen stab wounds? If you ask me this was a crime of passion. My guess is that Charlie Davis told him  they were over seventeen times.

GARRET: But there's no trace on the body. Not a strand of hair or a drop of saliva. And no prints on the knife. (Roz walks  in.) Just this right here.

BUG: A woman's high heel?

GARRET: Yeah.

ROZ: Hmm. Looks like a Pellini or Zoccoli Stiletto. I know shoes.

LILY: She kicked him?

BUG: Well, I'll scan the print, find the shoe we're looking for, find the woman whose foot fits the shoe.

ROZ: Just like Cinderella. Speaking of which, I'm going to pick up the princess now. Seems like her ex here wasn't her first  victim.

[Scene: Police Station. Interview Room. Roz and Charlie are there.]

ROZ: What about Russell Eckridge? Your first love. The two of you sailing around the cape. Until he tumbled overboard.  Funny though, he grew up around boats. He was a strong swimmer.

CHARLIE: Yeah, I know. I was there. I lived it.

ROZ: You draw a man into your web and then you pull out the proverbial ice pick.

CHARLIE: Russ and I had just gotten out of college. My father's boat, he'd been drinking. He was joking around, a gust came.  He was there and then...

ROZ: You're just the queen of bad karma, aren't you? It's dangerous to be in love with you.

CHARLIE: I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[Scene: ME's Office. Jordan and Woody are walking down the corridor.]

JORDAN: Every sister in that convent had means and motives. Especially Mother Superior. A pregnant nun isn't exactly a  poster girl for the Catholic church.

WOODY: Jordan, they are nuns.

JORDAN: What, nuns don't lie? They're not supposed to get pregnant either.

WOODY: Maybe Sister Theresa was raped.

JORDAN: Okay, okay, so nine months go by and she tells no one. She's surrounded by the woman of god but she doesn't trust  them or ask them for help. Why? Because these women have shut themselves off from the real world. They would rather hide  from life than deal with it.

WOODY: Kettle, this is the pot.

JORDAN: Okay, look, about the ring.

WOODY: Don't worry about it, I'm gonna take it back.

JORDAN: Woody, really, it was a very sweet gesture and I overreacted a bit.

WOODY: No, no, I got you loud and clear.

(Nigel walks up to them.)

NIGEL: Uh, Jordan? The sister's brother is waiting for you in the conference room.

WOODY: Don't worry, it won't happen again.

[Time lapse. Conference Room. Jordan, Woody and Joey are there.]

JOEY: Meg had a baby?

WOODY: Did you talk about any men in your sister's life? Maybe former boyfriends?

JOEY: Meg never really dated. We were both loners. Never placed in a home long enough to get too attached.

JORDAN: Nineteen's kind of young to join a cloistered convent. Could she have been running from something?

JOEY: I didn't understand it at first. The Meg I knew was fun. She had a lot to give. Growing up the way we did, we had so  many disappointments. God was the one constant in her life. The only thing that she could really count on.

WOODY: Was she afraid of anyone at the convent?

JOEY: No. Church made her feel safe.

JORDAN: How's that for irony.

[Cut to the Break Room. Garret is there. He hears jazz music playing from another room. He walks into his office and  Charlie is there playing music on his gramophone.]

GARRET: Am I supposed to read something into this? "Don't Blame Me"?

CHARLIE: Sorry, I, um, wandered in and I haven't heard this for years. My father never played it because he could never  match the version. It's nothing like it.

GARRET: It's no "Cry Me A River".

CHARLIE: Do you think I'd be that obvious? Maybe "Who's Sorry Now" or, hey, why not "Mac the Knife".

GARRET: Or maybe "Don't Blame Me".

CHARLIE: I'm not as bad as you think I am.

GARRET: What are you doing here, Ms. Davis?

CHARLIE: Well, your Detective Framus, she has in her head that I murdered Stephen and now Russell. And the problem is I  know what else she's gonna find. Five years ago I had a boyfriend. He was killed in a car accident and I wasn't even there.  And then two years ago I was engaged. My fiance and I were building a house. It burned down and he was in it.

GARRET: That's quite a run of bad luck.

CHARLIE: You strike me as a fair man.

GARRET: Must be the Bogart eyes.

CHARLIE: Something like that.

GARRET: I'm listening.

CHARLIE: Stephen and I had a fight. He wouldn't take no for an answer and so I kicked him hard in the chest.

GARRET: Barney's Stiletto's size 7.

CHARLIE: Figured they'd leave a mark.

GARRET: Guess it's good for you they didn't find the shoes.

(She takes the Stiletto shoes out of a bag.)

CHARLIE: I don't know how you do what you do, but you have to prove me innocent.

 COMMERCIAL BREAK

 [Scene: ME's Office. Trace Evidence. Sister Theresa's body is laying on a gurney. Jordan is examining her between the legs.  Woody walks in.]

WOODY: Jordan, I... Hello. I'm definitely going to hell for that. You got anything for me?

JORDAN: From what I can tell child birth didn't kill her.

WOODY: So COD was suffocation.

JORDAN: We won't know for sure until we open her up.

WOODY: Sister Theresa's prints are the only one's on the pillow, so I've got zippo.

JORDAN: Judging from the placenta the baby was full term. Which means there's a good chance he or she is still alive.

(Nigel walks in.)

NIGEL: Hey, I think our nun was in love. I was combing through Sister Theresa's habit here and I found this bracelet  stashed aside in her pocket.

WOODY: Whoa, whoa, whoa. A piece of jewellery is not necessarily a declaration of love.

NIGEL: Yeah? Even if it's engraved "I love you forever"?

WOODY: Well, yeah, if it's engraved, maybe. But whoever gave her this is our man.

JORDAN: There's some initials here but it's so warn down, I can't make them out.

NIGEL: Yeah, I know, I know. I still have to work my magic.

WOODY: If you've got any problems, I know a good jeweler.

(He looks at Jordan and walks out.)

[Cut to Forensic Laboratory. Garret is about to take a swab sample from Charlie.]

GARRET: Open your mouth.

(She does so. He takes a swab of inside her cheek.)

CHARLIE: So all you need's right there, huh?

GARRET: Anything anyone ever wanted to know about you.

CHARLIE: You don't really believe that. A person's essence can be boiled down to a scientifical swab?

(Jordan walks in.)

JORDAN: Garret, I wanted... Ooh, I'm sorry. Wow, I didn't know you were...

(Lily walks in.)

LILY: Hey. Garret, I was going to, uh... Hello.

CHARLIE: Popular guy.

GARRET: It's fine. We're done.

CHARLIE: Charlie Davis. Murder suspect.

JORDAN: Yeah? Huh. You do it?

CHARLIE: Be careful with my essence, Garret.

(Charlie shakes Jordan's hand and leaves the room.)

JORDAN: Her essence?

(She struts towards Garret and smiles. Roz walks in.)

ROZ: That Charlie Davis is some piece of work. I found two more dead boyfriends.

JORDAN: Charlie Davis?

LILY: Two more and they never suspected her?

ROZ: Yeah, all accidents in different states.

JORDAN: Nice girl.

GARRET: Do we have any evidence that suggests murder?

ROZ: I have a black widow Cinderella with four dead boyfriends. That suggests murder. And then we have Mr.  fell-off-your-boat's next of kin in the conference room. I thought maybe we could go over there and convince him to okay  the exhumation.

[Time lapse. Conference Room. Garret, Roz and Peter Eckridge are there.]

PETER: Always knew it wasn't an accident. Russ and I, we grew up on boats. Helping our dads building them. There's no way  he fell off.

GARRET: What do you think happened?

PETER: Russ told me they were over. I think she wasn't about to let some townie break up with her. Especially one as good  looking as Russ. Pissed her off and you didn't piss off Charlie.

ROZ: She had a temper?

PETER: She was used to getting things her way. Then we crossed her, she got even. I dented her car one summer with my bike. Next thing I know she ran over it. Nice, huh? Bring my cousin justice, do what you need to do.

[Cut to Forensic Laboratory. Jordan, Nigel and Woody walk in.]

NIGEL: After I deoxidized the bracelet, I filed down the engraving and then I poured microscopic ball bearings over it.  Then I held a high powered magnet underneath which sucked the ball bearings into the grooves, spelling out what was  engraved.

(The magnified engraving shows up on the computer.)

WOODY: J.C. Jesus Christ?

NIGEL: Or Joey Campbell.

JORDAN: Talk about brotherly love.

NIGEL: Well, it's not as incestuous as you might think. I contacted Saint Marks orphanage and apparently Meg and Joey were  foster siblings. Which means at some point they were taken in by the same foster parents and took on the parents last name.

WOODY: So they're not blood related?

NIGEL: No more than you or I.

JORDAN: So pretending to be Sister Theresa's brother, he could stay in touch without raising suspicion.

WOODY: If he got inside to get her pregnant, he could've gotten inside to murder her.

JORDAN: Question is what'd he do with the baby?

[Scene: Police Station. Interview Room. Woody and Joey are there. Jordan is watching from behind the mirror.]

WOODY: Where's the baby, Joey?

JOEY: I don't know.

WOODY: This is gonna go a lot easier for you if that kid is still alive.

JOEY: Look, I swear. I didn't even know that she was pregnant.

WOODY: Last time we spoke, you failed to mention that you and Sister Theresa were lovers.

JOEY: That's because I wasn't in love with a nun. I was in love with my best friend. When Meg joined the convent she wanted  to end it.

WOODY: But you didn't?

JOEY: No. I loved her. And I know she loved me.

WOODY: I thought she was in love with god.

JOEY: She was confused, okay.

WOODY: Okay, lover boy. Nine months ago, tell me what happened.

JOEY: I was a mess. I was failing out of school. She agreed to meet with me so we could talk. One thing led to another...

WOODY: The two of you made a baby. Isn't that special.

JOEY: Look, it's not like we meant for it to happen, okay. Come on, a nun for a mum and me for a dad? I wouldn't wish that  on anyone.

WOODY: So you kill her, make the problem go away?

JOEY: I didn't kill her.

WOODY: You said Meg met you. How'd she get out of that convent?

JOEY: I don't know. She snuck out somehow.

WOODY: When we find out how she snuck out, it's gonna tell us how our murderer got in. And if I find out that's you, Joey,  make god help you.

[Scene: ME's Office. Autopsy. Garret and Bug are autopsying Stephen Turk. Lily walks in.]

LILY: Hey. You guys find the smoking ice pick yet?

BUG: We're looking underneath the shoe print. Dr. Macy seems to believe it may not have been inflicted at the same time as  the stab wounds.

GARRET: And Dr. Macy would be right. This density and hemorrhaging around the bruise would take hours to develop. Her story  checks out.

LILY: Her story?

BUG: Yeah, she thinks she's being framed.

GARRET: I did a live autopsy. No forensics connected her to the murder.

BUG: Well, maybe she cleans up good?

GARRET: All that blood at the scene, seventeen stab wounds. Nobody cleans up that well.

LILY: What does Framus say?

GARRET: She'll get the autopsy report when it's done.

BUG: Wait, Framus doesn't know about the live autopsy? About the shoes?

GARRET: Framus will get everything but she's on a witch hunt. I'm just trying to give her some context. (Bug sighs.) Does  someone have something to say?

LILY: What if she's playing us?

GARRET: You mean playing me. Tell you what, the body of her first dead boyfriend, the drowning victim is due anytime. Be my  guest, prove me wrong.

[Scene: Jazz Bar. Garret walks in. He picks up a photo of a woman and a little girl. Charlie walks up to him.]

CHARLIE: That's me and Miss Sarah. Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.

GARRET: It's okay, I don't scare. So you knew the divine woman?

CHARLIE: I remember sitting in that booth over there, falling asleep in daddy's arms listening to her sing "Moonlight In  Vermont".

GARRET: Must have been a great life.

CHARLIE: My father was complicated.

GARRET: Who isn't?

CHARLIE: Scotch, straight up, single malt?

GARRET: Yeah, that'll do. I'm gonna have to give your shoes to the police.

CHARLIE: You don't think I'm innocent?

GARRET: I didn't say that.

CHARLIE: You are a cautious man.

GARRET: I'm here.

CHARLIE: Thanks for helping me. You know what I love about Charlie Parker? You can put on a song and he says everything  that I want to say. Even without words. Then you try saying that same thing to someone and...

(They starts dancing.)

[Scene: ME's Office. Autopsy. Bug and Lily are there.]

LILY: You don't see her?

BUG: Oh, I saw her. Women like that.

(Roz walks in.)

ROZ: You're not talking about me, are you, Buggles?

BUG: No, and stop calling me Buggles.

ROZ: He is so cute when he's shy. Isn't he cute?

LILY: Like a puppy.

BUG: Did you get the other bodies?

ROS: The fiance was cremated. I got the files. But boyfriend number two will be here tomorrow. How are things going with  first love? Ooh, he doesn't look so handsome now.

BUG: You should see his back teeth. His father should've sprung for an orthodontist. (He looks into a microscope.) That's  weird. There aren't any diatoms.

LILY: Diatoms?

BUG: Yeah, microscopic algae. When you drown you ingest water into your lungs which have diatoms that are calcified.

ROZ: So what are you saying?

BUG: This man didn't drown.

LILY: So he was thrown in the water after?

ROZ: Which means our black widow is lying through her teeth. The spider draws them in and then kills the ones she loves.

 COMMERCIAL BREAK

 [Scene: ME's Office. Lobby. Bug and Roz are waiting in front of the elevator. The elevator doors open and Garret walks out.]

ROZ: Beautiful day, isn't it, Garret?

BUG: We've been calling you since last night.

[Time lapse. Forensic Laboratory. Garret, Bug and Roz are there. Bug is showing scans of Russell Eckridge's skull.]

BUG: Bacillus skull fracture. The depth of the fracture suggests that whatever hit Russell Eckridge caused the massive  swelling. Cutting off the respiratory system.

ROZ: He was dead before he hit the water.

GARRET: You're telling me the ME missed this?

BUG: Necrophasia and marine predation obscured the wound.

ROZ: And Charlie told them he drowned. And who wouldn't believe those lips?

GARRET: Okay, so what hit him?

BUG: A mooring hook. Kind of like a broom handle with a deadly weapon on the end. And more specifically an AYA2000.

ROZ: And AYA keeps records. Care to guess where their boat outfitted with a 2000?

(Garret walks out of the room.)

[Scene: St. Benedict Convent. Woody is waiting in Sister Theresa's bedroom. Jordan and Mother Superior walk in.]

JORDAN: Thanks, Mother.

MOTHER: Anytime you want to go back into the chapel, just let me know.

(Mother walks away.)

JORDAN: I lit a candle for the baby.

WOODY: Not like the lapsed Catholic girl I know and... like.

JORDAN: It's not god I had an issue with. It's just certain aspects of the institution. Eleventh grade. St. Mary Immaculate  High School. My friend Cindy got pregnant. Her dad was kind of abusive, so there was no way she was going to talk to her  parents. I convinced her to talk to Sister Bernard. She was the coolest nun in school. I mean, she played U2 on her guitar.

WOODY: So what happened?

JORDAN: The good Sister went straight to Cindy's parents. Cindy freaked out, she ran away. Lived on the street for about  six months and then lost the baby.

WOODY: Yeah, but this nun was Cindy's teacher. She had an obligation to tell her parents.

JORDAN: Yeah, what about her spiritual obligation? Cindy needed counseling, not someone to rat her out. So you find  anything?

WOODY: Walked the whole perimeter. The only way Joey could've gotten over that fence is if he had a forklift or bionic  powers.

JORDAN: There's no trace of him inside, either. It must have been so hard for her. Being 19, keeping this big secret all to  herself. Bet she was terrified. Not knowing what to d, what to expect.

(She looks around the room.)

WOODY: What is it?

JORDAN: There's nothing in this room that indicates the was even having a baby. Vitamins, no how-to books.

WOODY: It's not like she could've checked them out of the convent library. (Jordan heads for the door.) Where you going?

JORDAN: Back to the body. I don't think Joey killed her.

[Scene: Outside the Jazz Bar. Garret and Charlie get out of their cars.]

GARRET: Russell Eckridge didn't drown but you knew that. Your boyfriend that died in a car crash is arriving today. You  wanna give me a heads up about what I'm going to find?

CHARLIE: I'll tell you what happened.

GARRET: A new version? Think fast, Charlie.

CHARLIE: If you don't want to hear it, why'd you come? We weren't alone. My father was there. He'd seen Russ slap me, they  were both drunk...

GARRET: You're gonna blame this on a dead man?

CHARLIE: It's the truth. He was scared. He swore to me that it was an accident. Whatever else my father was, whatever else  he did, I love him. I figured this is the reason I was always cursed.

GARRET: I loved your father's work and it clouded my judgment about you.

CHARLIE: You're wrong, Garret. This wasn't about my father's work.

[Scene: ME's Office. Conference Room. Garret, Roz and Peter are there.]

PETER: She is trying to blame Russ' death on her father? Ivory Davis never had a problem with Russ. We used to crew farm.  Treat us like one of his own. You didn't know Russ, but he was special. You can't let her get away with this again.

ROZ: We found two more dead boyfriends. Wool incurred to one of the bodies, maybe all of them.

GARRET: If she left anything behind, a fibre, a trace of DNA, we'll find it.

PETER: Thank you.

[Cut to Autopsy. Jordan is autopsying Sister Theresa. Nigel walks in.]

NIGEL: Ran a paternity test using DNA from the umbilical cord. Joey Campbell can add daddy to his college transcripts,  right next to felon.

JORDAN: You wanna give me a hand? (Nigel puts on a pair of gloves and helps remove the rib cage from the body.) Nige, can I  ask you a question? Hypothetically.

NIGEL: Sure.

JORDAN: Is it appropriate for a friend to give another friend a diamond ring as a birthday present?

NIGEL: (excited) Woody gave you a diamond ring? (He calms down.) Uh, well, hypothetically, if a male friend gives a female  friend a diamond ring, I would say the male friend wants to be much, much more than friends and is applying pressure to  said female friend to step up to the plate.

JORDAN: Check out the serosanguinous fluid in the lungs.

NIGEL: Isn't that consistent with suffocation?

JORDAN: Yeah, but there's a little too much. I bet you the lab's gonna find traces of amniotic fluid in the lungs.

NIGEL: Wait a minute, you're thinking amniotic embolism?

JORDAN: Brought on by a lack of prenatal care. Amniotic fluid seeps into the lungs causing respiratory distress.

(Woody walks in.)

WOODY: Hey, guys. Check this out. Um, not right here. Why don't you come over here. (They walk away from the body.) Um,  it's been driving me nuts trying to figure out how Sister Theresa got out of the convent without anybody knowing. So I got  a copy of the original map of the property and it turns out it was originally owned by a guy named John Walsh.

NIGEL: Oh, the host of America's Most Wanted?

WOODY: No, but he was one of America's most wanted. He was some notorious bootlegger in the 1920s. Okay, here's his property  which is a couple of acres with a barn. Now rumour has it he built a secret tunnel from his wine cellar to his barn to  transport his illegal wares.

[Scene: Wine Cellar. Jordan, Nigel and Woody walk in.]

WOODY: Wow, imagine the boozing that went on in this place.

JORDAN: Now it's a convent. Talk about extreme home makeover.

NIGEL: Okay, so if this were Nancy Drew and "The Clue in the Crumbling Wall", we'd just have to pull on this to reveal the  hidden passage.

(He pulls a sconce off the wall and it falls to the ground.)

JORDAN: Nice move, Nancy.

WOODY: I don't know, it looks pretty air tight to me. (Jordan pulls on a wall sconce and a door opens.) Whoa, whoa, whoa.

JORDAN: Right idea, wrong sconce.

NIGEL: I'll be a rumble in his uncle.

(They walk into the secret tunnel.)

JORDAN: Whoever killed Sister Theresa, this is how they got in and out.

NIGEL: Doesn't explain where the baby is though.

(Jordan picks up a bead necklace.)

JORDAN: These look like Mother Superior's.

WOODY: She said she didn't know any other way out of the convent.

JORDAN: I guess Mother Superior jumped the gun.

[Scene: ME's Office. Autopsy. Garret and Bug are there.]

GARRET: Boyfriend number two. Cracked rib cage. Impact fractures to the femur resulting to the knees crushing against the  hips. Car accident story looks legit.

BUG: You're not still hoping she's innocent, are you? Well, you can forget that. Original tox screen said that he had  alcohol in his system, same with the burnt fiance. Only this isn't alcohol, it's methanol. 100mg. She drugged him.

GARRET: That amount wouldn't kill anyone.

BUG: No, but it gets them woozy enough for her to stage their accidents. (They hear music coming from another room.) You  hear that? I thought everyone else had left. (They walk into the corridor.) Is that...?

GARRET: Last time this was playing somebody ended up dead.

(They walk into Garret's office and the gramophone is playing. They hear a crash and run back into Autopsy. The room is  filled with smoke.)

BUG: What is that? Acid. Someone destroyed the evidence.

GARRET: What didn't she want us to find?

 COMMERCIAL BREAK

 [Scene: ME's Office. Garret, Lily and Roz are there.]

GARRET: How'd you get in? The building's on lock down.

LILY: Seely's out front, said it's safe to come in. They didn't find anyone.

ROZ: I don't know how Cinderella got out but she ain't getting away.

(Bug walks in.)

BUG: Bite marks.

ROZ: Excuse me?

BUG: I digitally erased the layer of lacerations from the autopsy photos to figure out what she was trying to hide with the  acid. I'm gonna build a mould of the teeth from the photos.

LILY: Bite marks?

GARRET: It wouldn't be the first.

LILY: That's sick.

(Lily walks away.)

ROZ: I don't know. Sex, control, power.

GARRET: Either way, we can use them to nail the killer.

ROZ: I'm gonna track her down.

GARRET: At the club? I'll meet you there.

ROZ: You don't need to.

GARRET: I'll meet you there.

[Time lapse. Car Park. Garret walks to his car.]

CHARLIE: Garret. (He turns around.) Sorry. Thought you didn't scare. Listen, I just came to apologise.

GARRET: For using me or for the damage you did in there?

CHARLIE: What are you talking about?

GARRET: The building's been sealed for an hour. How did you get in?

CHARLIE: I've been here. Just sitting here waiting in my car, just trying to figure out what to say to you. Listen, what  was I supposed to do? Say I lied about Russ, I covered his death and now I'm totally innocent?

GARRET: Save your breath.

(A car pulls up and Roz gets out.)

ROZ: Are you okay?

GARRET: I will be when you arrest her.

CHARLIE: Just listen to me for one second.

GARRET: Goodbye, Charlie.

(Roz handcuffs her.)

ROZ: Just think of him as the one that got away.

CHARLIE: You're making a mistake.

[Cut to Forensic Laboratory. Bug is there making the teeth mould on the computer.]

BUG: Say cheese.

(Lily walks in.)

LILY: Cops are gone. Eww.

BUG: Leptoderma dysplasia. Makes the teeth appear conical. That's our killer's bite. Charlie must have had her teeth capped.  That's weird, Russell Eckridge, her victim, his teeth had the same deformity. Maybe 1 in 40,000 people have this. And it's  hereditary so either he and Charlie are related or...

LILY: It was the cousin.

BUG: Charlie's been innocent all along. (Peter runs in and pushes Lily to the ground. He viciously attacks Bug but misses  as Bug runs behind the gurney dodging his swings.Lily grabs a pan and hits him over the back. He turns around and she hits  him in the face with it. She punches him in the nose and kicks him between the legs. He falls to his knees. She picks up a  stool and smashes it over his head knocking him out. Lily stands there breathing heavily.) You all right?

LILY: Great.

(She gives Peter one last kick and spits on him.)

[Scene: St. Benedict Convent. Chapel. Mother Superior is there. Jordan and Woody walk in.]

WOODY: Looks like we've got a little immaculate deception going on.

(He holds up her beads.)

MOTHER: My beads. Where did you find them?

WOODY: In your no longer secret tunnel.

JORDAN: Just tell us where the baby is.

MOTHER: In a good home with loving parents.

WOODY: Why should we believe you?

JORDAN: What a hypocrite. Lying to us this whole time.

MOTHER: You're wrong. I only just found out myself. About the tunnel, the baby, everything.

WOODY: If it wasn't you, who was it?

[Time lapse. Room. Jordan, Woody and Gwendolyn are there.]

GWENDOLYN: Sister Theresa went in to labour quickly. She held a pillow over her mouth to stifle her screams, then she started gasping for air.

JORDAN: She held the pillow?

GWENDOLYN: Yes. I tried to calm her down but I had my hands full with the baby.

JORDAN: How did she seem after giving birth?

GWENDOLYN: She seemed calmer, at peace. I left to clean the child and when I came back she was dead. I shouldn't have left her. It was my fault.

JORDAN: No. You didn't kill her. Respiratory distress was brought on by amniotic embolism.

WOODY: What happened next?

GWENDOLYN: When I realised that there was nothing I could do, I took the baby out through the tunnel and gave it to the  couple she made arrangements with.

WOODY: We're gonna need those names.

MOTHER: They're good people. They'll give this baby a good home.

JORDAN: Joey Campbell's the baby's father. That makes him a legal guardian.

GWENDOLYN: You don't understand. That's not what Sister Theresa wanted.

(Sister Gwendolyn remembers her conversation with Sister Theresa.)

THERESA: Joey isn't ready for this. This baby deserves a real home, a real family that's gonna love her. Something that Joey and I didn't have.

GWENDOLYN: At least tell Mother Superior.

THERESA: No. I couldn't do that to her with the convent. Not after all she's done for me. This is a test of my faith. I thought that I had to choose between my baby and god but I don't. I only have to choose love. Please, Sister, help me to do what's right. Tell me that you'll help me.

GWENDOLYN: I gave her my word.

 COMMERCIAL BREAK

 [SCene: ME's Office. A couple and Sister Theresa's baby are in the conference room. Jordan and Joey are outside the room watching them.]

JOEY: They look like nice people.

JORDAN: Yeah, they are. Joey, you should know, what the nuns did, they were only carrying out Meg's wishes. We should probably...

JOEY: What if I can't do this?

JORDAN: Only you can decide that.

JOEY: Meg wanted something better for her and so do I. Tell them I'll sign whatever I need to.

JORDAN: Well, you understand that you'll be giving up all rights to her as a father.

JOEY: It's the right thing to do.

(Jordan pulls out the bracelet.)

JORDAN: Meg said you only have to choose love.

[Time lapse. Jordan's Office. Jordan is staring out the window. Woody walks in.]

WOODY: Hey. (She turns around.) Is this a bad time?

JORDAN: No, uh, actually, I was just calling you. Woody, I have a confession...

WOODY: Yeah, so do I. Um... I did have ulterior motives when I gave you the ring.

JORDAN: You did?

WOODY: Yeah. I realised it was a little over the top but, I don't know, Jordan. I just felt the need to do something bold. You know, get us past this stupid little dance we've been doing for way too long. And I thought it would either bring us closer together or exactly what happened. At least now I know.

JORDAN: I care so much about you. More than I think you know. That's my problem. Because I love what we have and I would never want to lose that, and I think you're right though, I think I need to make a choice...

WOODY: Jordan, stop. Okay, I give up. My ego can not take another round of this.

JORDAN: That's not what I'm trying to say here.

WOODY: Please, Jordan, I think we're all good, really. We're just better off as friends. Truth is if we ever ended up hooking up, we'd probably kill each other within the week.

JORDAN: Oh, you think?

WOODY: No. But if I keep telling myself that. I'll see you around.

JORDAN: Yeah, sure.

(He leaves.)

[Scene: Jazz Bar. Charlie is there packing things into boxes. Garret walks in.]

GARRET: Hi,

CHARLIE: Hey.

GARRET: Listen, I wanted to apologise.

CHARLIE: For what? I lied, it's my fault.

GARRET: You can't blame yourself for what Peter did. His fixation for his cousin, blaming you and murdering anyone you got close to.

CHARLIE: Were any of your people hurt?

GARRET: No. Framus doesn't think they're gonna press charges against you for Russell, for obstructing.

CHARLIE: Well, I guess I have you to thank for that, huh? I'm glad you came by, Bogart. I have something for you.

(She hands him a record.)

GARRET: "Cry Me A River".

CHARLIE: My father's version. It's signed. I don't think I'll be listening to it anymore.

GARRET: I guess I'm due to have my heart broken over and over.

CHARLIE: Something tells me you could handle it.

GARRET: See you around, Charlie.

[Scene: ME's Office. Garret is there listening to the song. Jordan walks in carrying a cupcake with a lit candle in it.]

JORDAN: How many tears do you think it would take to cry a river?

GARRET: Too many. Still a great piece of music though. Body count aside. What have you got there?

JORDAN: Me acknowledging my birthday. You're my witness.

GARRET: Just saying the B word is a big deal for you.

JORDAN: Yeah, well, I figure it's about time for me to grow up a little.

GARRET: You don't mind if I skip the singing, do you?

JORDAN: See that's what I actually was looking forward to.

GARRET: Better make a wish.

(She blows out the candle.)

 END