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TRANSCRIPT:
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Opening Credits

[SCENE – Chubbie’s. Topanga, Cory, and Shawn share a booth with Cory & Topanga on the right and Shawn on the left. They’re all sipping on sodas]

Topanga: (To Cory) So, tomorrow’s the big day, huh?

Cory: Yep. Tomorrow morning, Cory Matthews turns sixteen and mo-bile.

Shawn: And I have worked out all the details for our big birthday road trip.

Topanga: You can get your father’s car tomorrow night, right?

Cory: Well, naturally, I’m sixteen, it’s my right. He’s probably filling up the tank for me right now.

Shawn: This is a life landmark. This is the first Cory-drives road trip. The point is, we are merely guests of the car… the wind… and destiny.

Cory: No, no. The point is a license says we are adults with cars who can see R-rated movies.

Topanga: I’m not going with you guys to see an R-rated movie.

Cory: Um, Van Damme takes his shirt off.

Topanga: Ah-ooga! (Smiles)

Cory: And that is only the beginning! The best part is we are seeing it in Atlantic City.

Topanga: Why would we go to Atlantic City when we can see it right here.

Shawn: Because we can! (Pounds table)

Cory: Because we can go anywhere. (Pounds table) Because tomorrow, I got wheels. I am free and independent. Tomorrow! I am a man!

Waitress: (Walks over) Who gets the clown burger? (Holds out a burger with a clown hat on it)

Cory: (Raises his hand, the waitress places it in front of him)(To Shawn & Topanga, who look at him oddly) I collect the little hats.

[SCENE – Matthews’ kitchen. Amy is there as Alan enters with a red bucket and a rag]

Amy: Alan, why aren’t you at the store?

Alan: Oh, I had Eric open the store. I got big plans today. (Puts bucket under the sink)

Amy: (Pouring coffee) Oh yeah?

Alan: Yeah, it’s Cory Day. I’m gonna take him down to the DMV, watch him take his drivers test, then off to Woody’s Road House for a lethal dose of home fries, steak, and eggs.

Amy: Just like you did with Eric.

Alan: Mm-hm. My dad did with me. A Matthews’ Men’s License Day tradition. I washed the car so it’d look good in the picture I’m gonna take after he passes his test. (Takes a sip of Amy’s coffee)

Amy: Does Cory know about these plans, honey?

Alan: Mm-mm. (Shakes head) Matthews’ men tradition, you don’t have to tell ‘em. It’s in the genes. (Takes another sip)

(Horn honks from outside, Morgan leans in from the living room)

Morgan: Cory’s driving a car! (Exits back into living room)

Alan: Without a license? (He and Amy go into the living room as Cory, Topanga, and Shawn enter from the front)

Cory: Hey. I passed my drivers test, I got my license. (Shows parents a piece of paper) Well, my temp license, anyway. See? (Passes them the paper)

Amy: Cory, that’s great. Alan, isn’t that great?

Alan: (Half-heartedly) Yeah, that- that- that’s great, Cor. Uh, happy birthday. Yeah… (Pats Cory’s shoulder) That’s really great. (Exits into kitchen)

Cory: Uh, mom, was it just me or were they happier for me down at the DMV.

Amy: Actually, Cory, your dad’s a little let down. I mean, he kinda thought you might want to do this with him.

Cory: He did? Yeah, but he never said anything. We didn’t have anything planned.

Shawn: (Sitting in an arm chair, shaking his head) Boy, I went with my dad.

[Cut to the kitchen. Alan is putting dishes in the sink when Cory enters from the living room.]

Cory: Dad? Hey, uh, listen, sorry about this whole thing. Uh, I didn’t know it was such a big deal to you. ‘Cause, y’know, Topanga got her license and Shawn got his and they wanted to be with me when I got mine. I didn’t wanna disappoint ‘em.

Alan: Yeah, I got it.

Cory: Okay. So, uh… we’re cool?

Alan: (Shrugs) Yeah, we’re cool.

Cory: Cool enough for you to give me the keys?

Alan: (Hesitates) Why not? (Digs into pocket) Got a couple errands to run, wouldn’t mind be chauffeured around for a change, huh? (Hands keys to Cory)

(Topanga and Shawn enter)

Shawn: So? Road trip? You have the keys yet?

Alan: Oh, uh… You meant your friends. Okay…

Cory: (Uncomfortably) Well… No, no, you can come too…

Shawn: What…? (Cory turns to Shawn sternly) …kind of road trip would it be without good ol’ Mr. Matthews! (Pause) Was what I was gonna say… And now I’m done.

Alan: (To Cory) Hey, I tell ya what. I do have a couple of errands to run, take me a couple of hours, but then when I come back, the car’s all yours. Alright, buddy? (Holds out hand for keys)

Cory: Yeah. If you’re all right, I’m all right. (Passes keys back)

(Alan exits)

Cory: (To Topanga and Shawn) Hey. I’ve waiting sixteen years, right? I can wait a couple hours. (Shawn shrugs)

[SCENE – Matthews’ backyard. Cory sits on the bench alone as Morgan rolls up in a toy car]

Morgan: (Mockingly) I’m Cory. I’m sixteen and I’m going to Atlantic City to see an R-rated movie. (Cackles)

Cory: (Stands) Uh, here Morgan, let me help you make the matinee. (Kicks Morgan’s car away at a high speed)

Morgan: (As she speeds away uncontrollably) DDDDAAAADDDDDDDDYYYY!!!!

Alan: (Enters from behind the house, sees Morgan rolling away off-screen) Wow, look at her go.

Cory: Hi. (Sits)

Alan: Hi, um. Look, I know I told you a couple of hours, but, uh, you know, one thing led to another and… You know how it is.

Cory: Actually, no. Having never actually had the car, I don’t know how it is. How is it?

Alan: Well, look. Here are the keys. (Hands keys to Cory) The car is yours, go do what you wanna do. (Goes inside to the fridge and grabs a soda, Cory follows)

Cory: See, actually Dad, what I wanted to do was go on a road trip with Shawn and Topanga who waited here for five hours and then they realized they had lives and went home.

Alan: Fine, go pick ‘em up, take ‘em for a drive.

Cory: Fine, I will. (Begins to leave)

Alan: Just make sure you’re back in time for your birthday dinner.

Cory: (Stops and turns) Well, wait a minute, you never, no! There was nothing ever mentioned about a birthday dinner!

Alan: Cory, why would anyone have to mention it? We’ve had dinner on your birthday every year since you’ve bee alive.

Cory: But I’ve never been alive with a license, Dad, so this year: road trip.

Alan: (Slowly) So we’ll see you at Chubbie’s in 45 minutes?

Cory: Forty-five… Dad! That’s barely even worth it!

(In the background, Eric enters)

Alan: (Holds out hand) Fine, gimme the keys.

Cory: (Harshly) Fine. Take ‘em. (Drops them in his hand)

(Alan exits, Cory takes off his coat angrily and sits)

Eric: (Sarcastically) Aww… What’s a matter, birthday brother, somethin’ got you terribly, terribly sad? (Leans in closely)

Cory: Eric, when you were sixteen, did…

Eric: (Interrupting) Yeah, I had the same great hair. (Walks to the fridge, disinterested)

Cory: (Stands, follows Eric) Listen, did Dad still treat you like you were six?

Eric: (Takes a soda from the fridge) No. I mean, he weirded out a little bit on me because, y’know, I got my license and made him feel old and he went out and bought a cemetery plot and everything, but… bet you it’s not nearly as bad as he’s treating you. (Walks over to table)

Cory: ‘Cause he likes you better.

Eric: Yep! He does, he does! Oh, that and he still had you around.

Cory: Well, he’s got Morgan.

Eric: (Quickly) Girl.

Cory: What?

Eric: You’re his last son, son. (Clasps Cory’s shoulder) Now you’re old enough to drive away and leave him alone with Morgan, who goes to…

Cory: …art class.

Eric: And… (Looks over to Morgan, who is at the fridge in a pink tutu, then walks behind the island)

Cory: …ballet. (Goes over to Eric)

Eric: Yep. See, the only reason you’re not cruising down that turnpike right now with your arm around Topanga and Shawn in the back going “Woo! Woo! Woo!” is because Morgan’s his first daughter and not his third son, son. (Puts a toothpick in his mouth)

(Cory and Eric turn and glare at Morgan)

Morgan: (After noticing her brothers) What?

[Cut to later. Cory is in the living room playing football with Morgan. Morgan is still in her pink tutu, but is now wearing a red football helmet as well. She is crouching in front of Cory, who is also crouching like a quarterback]

Cory: Down! Set! Hike! (Morgan runs) Buttonhook! (Pegs the ball at Morgan’s back)

Morgan: Ow! (Stops running and turns) Why’d you do that?

Cory: Because I called a buttonhook, ya woman! I didn’t say “stop and go,” I didn’t say “down and out,” I didn’t say “post.” I said “buttonhook.” Now, was the ball not there waiting for you?

Morgan: If you don’t stop yelling, I’m going upstairs to play with Barbie and Skipper.

Cory: No! No! Don’t… do that… Here. (Takes a red boxing glove from the table and hands them to Morgan) Put these on.

Morgan: (Slides the glove on) I don’t wanna wear boxing mittens! I don’t know how they work.

Cory: Morgan, they’re not boxing mittens, okay? They’re boxing gloves and they don’t “work” you just hit me! (Morgan punches him over the couch) Argh!! (From behind the couch) Now we’re getting somewhere.

Morgan: (Circles to behind the couch) Fine, I’m glad you’re happy. I have to change into my party dress for your party.

Cory: (Still behind the couch) No dress! Wear pants. Keep the helmet on. And call a doctor. (Morgan exits upstairs)

[SCENE – Cory’s part at Chubbie’s. Everyone minus Eric is there, with Cory at the head of the table and Shawn on the left and Topanga on the right.]

Shawn: (Leans in to Cory) I don’t want you to think that I’m not having a dandy time, here at Chubbie’s, where we always went because we could walk here, but… could we just do the cake thing, and then hit the open road?

Topanga: (Leans in, to Shawn) Will you stop telling Cory to ditch his own birthday party? (To Cory) And you, put a smile on your face and behave yourself.

Alan: (Leans in from next to Shawn) Guys, we rented the room, you don’t have to whisper!

Cory: Sorry, dad. Um, listen, thank you. Thank you guys for the party, it’s really nice, but, uh, there’s this movie we’re trying to make.

Alan: What movie?

Cory: 101 Dalmations.

Shawn: (To Cory) Would you finally grow up? (To Alan) We’re going to see the new Van Damme movie.

Alan: Ah, well wouldn’t that be an R-rated movie?

Cory: Dad, come on, I’m 16! I’m not a little kid any more.

Waitress: (Enters and places a burger with 2 clown hats in front of Cory) Here’s your clown burger. I told them it was your birthday so they threw in an extra hat.

Cory: (Excitedly) Woohoo! (Deadpan) I mean… woo-hoo.

Alan: Cory, I understand you’re sixteen and yet you have to be seventeen to get in without an adult.

Cory: Fine, no movie.

Alan: Thank you.

Shawn: No biggy, no biggy. There’s gotta be tons of other stuff we can do in Atlantic City. Let’s hit those tables, huh? (Nudges Cory)

Cory: (To Shawn) You really don’t wanna do anything at all, do you?

Alan: (Agitatedly) You wanna sneak into an R-rated film in another state? I’m not just gonna give you my blessing.

Amy: Alan, it’s his birthday…

Cory: (Disregarding Amy) Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, Dad, I wasn’t asking you for your blessing, here, I just wanted to go somewhere with my friends.

Amy: Cory, this is your father.

Alan: (Disregards Amy, points at Cory in an intimidating fashion) You think, because you got a license, you can do whatever you want.

Cory: No! I just wanna go somewhere with my friends, I don’t care where I go, I just wanna go!

Alan: (Long pause) (Quietly) I’ll tell you what. You wanna take a road trip? You wanna go off with your friends? (Cory nods) That’s the first adult decision you’re gonna make?

Cory: (Nods) Yeah.

Alan: (Pause) Fine. (Puts the keys on the table) There you go, pal.

Cory: (Shakes his head at Alan, then takes keys and stand) C’mon, let’s go.

Shawn: (To self) Yes… (Exits with Cory)

Topanga: (Stands, then looks at Amy & Alan hesitantly) I don’t know. (Very quickly) I mean, part of me knows I shouldn’t get in that car with them, but then there’s the other side of me, which isn’t sensible or mature at all, wants to get in that car with them and go “Ah-ooga.” (Pause) Thank you for your attention at this very difficult time. (Exits)

Amy: (To Alan) You are gonna go after them, aren’t you?

Alan: No, Amy, I’m not.

Eric: (Enters carrying a cake shaped like a car and singing) Happy, happy, happy birthday! Happy! Happy, happy birthday-hey! It’s his day, his day of birth! Yeah, that’s right, his first day on earth! Happy burr-urr-irthday-yeah! (Lowers cake, notices Cory, Topanga, and Shawn are absent) (No longer singing) I missed something, didn’t I? (Everyone nods)

[SCENE – Cory, Topanga, and Shawn in a car. Cory is driving with Topanga riding shotgun and Shawn in the back. It is night and there are headlights shining through the rear windshield]

Cory: Here we are, on our own driving down the open road, just me, my Topanga, and my Shawn. And a big full moon right behind us.

Topanga: Cory, those are headlights. (Horn honks)

Cory: (Waving out window) Come around me! Come around me, please.

Shawn: Cory, could you drive a little faster? ‘Cause there’s like twenty cars jammed up behind us.

Cory: Shawn, I happen to be cruising at… what’s it say, I can’t look down or we’ll crash.

Topanga: (Reading speedometer) 18 miles an hour.

Cory: I’m up to 18? I hope this thing has airbags. (A bicycle bell is heard)

Shawn: Cory, a bicycle just passed you.

Cory: (Waving out window) Come around me! Come around me, please.

Shawn: See, it’s already… it’s already… ugh… (Waves at Cory, giving up)

Cory: Fine, fine. I’ll go faster. (Pause) How much farther to Atlantic City?

Shawn: What’s the difference? We’re all gonna die here.

Topanga: Speaking of that, I think we should call your folks and let them know we’re okay.

Cory: Forget it. I’m not calling my dad, okay. Kids have to call, that’s just what my dad expects his little kid to do.

Topanga: Cory, I don’t get it. You and your father have always gotten along great.

Cory: Yeah. ‘Cause I’ve always been safe and dependable Cory. Well tonight, a new Cory is born. Dark wild Cory, built for speed. (Begins speeding up) (Reading speedometer) 24… 25… 26… Look at me, I’m breakin’ the law. (Sirens are heard and read & blue police lights flash in the rear windshield) Well, we all saw that coming.

[SCENE – A courtroom somewhere. A police officer leads Cory, Topanga, and Shawn in]

Cory: Uh, listen, with all due respect, Officer… (reads the officer’s nametag) Dibble, um, I was on a country road going twenty-six miles an hour.

Officer Dibble: In a twenty-five mile zone, sir.

Shawn: (Shakes head) Forget it, Cory, it’s a stinkin’ speed trap.

Topanga: Call your dad.

Cory: (To Topanga) No way I’m calling my dad.

Officer Dibble: Then I guess you’ll see the judge.

Cory: (Chuckling incredulously) The judge? One mile over you call in the judge. Don’t you people have anything better to do in this town?

Officer Dibble: It’s not a town. It’s a speed trap. Now, you can avoid a trial all together by just paying the fine.

Cory: Fine. I’ll pay the fine, how much?

Officer Dibble: Two hundred dollars.

Cory: For one mile over the speed limit?

Officer Dibble: (Leans in, speaks carefully) It’s a speed trap. Is this not getting through to you? (Points to table, walks away)

Topanga: Call your dad.

Cory: (Quietly) No way I’m calling my dad, is this not getting through to you? (Sits behind the table, Topanga and Shawn sit in the audience benches)

Officer Dibble: (Standing in doorway) ALL RISE!! (Cory, Topanga, and Shawn immediately stand) The court of Judge Hubert Lamb is now in session.

Cory: Judge Lamb? I think I’ll take my chances with Judge Lamb.

(Judge Lamb enters. He is a huge, intimidating-looking man. Cory’s expression immediately changes to one of horror)

Judge Lamb: (Standing in front of his chair, points to Cory) Bring him… up here. (Points to the stand. Officer Dibble beckons Cory and leads him in front of Judge Lamb)

[SCENE – Matthews’ house. Alan is watching old home movies of Cory as a little kid. The first set on lines are on the video Alan watches]

Alan: (VO, on the video) Cor! Cory! Hey, Cory!

Little Cory: (On video) What?

Alan: Hey, Cory! Hey, what day is today? What day is today?

Little Cory: Huh?

Alan: What day is today?

Little Cory: It’s my birthday.

Alan: (Chuckles) That’s right.

[Shot cuts to Alan watching on the couch, smiling, then back to a different video of Cory, playing with action figures, but talking to the camera operator (offscreen), Alan]

Little Cory: Can you take a picture of them?

Alan: Sure, pal.

Amy: (Offscreen, in home video) Alan?

Little Cory: This is Iron Sheik and he’s the bad guy…

Alan: Uh-huh.

Little Cory: This is… (Looks off-camera, distracted, and smiles)

Amy: (Offscreen, in home video) Eric! Look out for the… (Clattering noise) …lamp.

Little Cory: …and he’s the good guy. This is Hulk Hogan, he’s a good guy. This is Big John Stud, and he’s a good guy.

Alan: Yeah…

Little Cory: Get it?

Alan: Yeah, yeah, I got it.

[Cut again to Alan in present day, watching the video and smiling, then back to a new video of Cory at a soccer game. There is general crowd noises, parents cheering and whatnot, and Cory scores a goal. Alan & Amy can be heard cheering “Yeah, Cory!” Little Cory runs up the field, jumping and celebrating. He give a teammate a high five but falls down because of it. Still smiling, he stands up]

Alan: (VO, in the video) Come here! Come here! (Little Cory runs up) You won the game, son!

[Cut back to the Matthews’ living room present day. Alan turns off the TV as Amy enters from upstairs and leans over the couch, hugging Alan around the neck]

Amy: (Sighs) I’m sure he’s okay.

Alan: Oh, I know. He’s just trying to prove something to us – to me. Y’know, I just feel bad.

Amy: Oh, well, you guys had plans. He broke ‘em. (Stands up, circles to the couch’s front)

Alan: Yeah, but we didn’t really have plans. I just assumed that he’d run in, and wake me up, and drag me down to the DMV, y’know, like he always used to do. (Amy sits next to Alan) Y’know, like he’s always running into rooms and wakes me up and drags me places.

Amy: (Chuckles) When he was…

Alan: Younger.

Amy: Yeah, he was five years old he dragged you out of bed to show you his lost tooth.

Alan: Well, I miss that.

Amy: Alan, he’s growing up. He’s not doing anything wrong.

Alan: Well, I’m growing up, too.

Amy: And you’re not doing anything wrong, either. (Hugs him, kisses his cheek, then leans on him)

Morgan: (Enters, stands at the top of the stairs) Hey, mom! You gonna help me do my hair or what?

Alan: Hey, Morgan! (Stands) How about I help you do your hair?

Morgan: Are you kiddin’ me?

Alan: (Pause) Yes, I am kidding you. (Sits)

(Amy kisses Alan’s cheek again and exits upstairs with Morgan. Alan turns the home videos on again)

[Cut to home video, which is a silent shot of Cory again from the soccer game. He looks really happy and waves at the camera]

[SCENE – Yard between Feeny’s house and the Matthews’ house. Alan sits on his bench, holding a football. Feeny enters from his house]

Feeny: Okay, uh, I’ve got one thing to tell you. (Crosses through gate) That’s gonna make you feel real good. And then I’ve got another thing to tell you that gonna scare the hell out of you. Which would you like first?

Alan: Feel good.

Feeny: (Sits on the bench arm) Ultimately, the reason that I never had a son is because of the sheer weight of responsibility for another human life is so enormous… so daunting… that I genuinely didn’t know if I was up to it.

Alan: Come on. You’re a teacher, you’re whole life’s about kids.

Feeny: No, no, no. My job is about kids, my life is my own. Unlike yours. Which hasn’t been your own since the day Eric was born.

Alan: What are you saying, I’m a hostage?

Feeny: Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. You are a hostage to extreme emotional joy… and disappointments which your children will bring you for as long as you live.

Alan: One day you’re putting on training wheels, the next day you’re teaching them how to drive. Of course, the first thing they wanna do is drive away from you. You’re right, scares the hell out of me. So, now, tell me the part that makes me feel good.

Feeny: (Looks away uncomfortably) Mmmm…

Alan: What?

Feeny: That was the good part.

Alan: Where?

Feeny: The emotional joys. You had children and I didn’t. And how lucky you are. And emotional joys. And, uh… (Shrugs) joys…

Alan: How bad is it, George?

Feeny: I just had a phone call from Cory.

Alan: (Concernedly) Is he alright?

Feeny: He’s fine. It’s nothing like that.

Alan: Good, good.

Feeny: He’s on trial.

[SCENE – Judge Lamb’s courtroom. Judge Lamb is in his chair, Cory behind the defense table, and Officer Dibble sits on the stand, which is a chair to the left of Judge Dibble. Topanga and Shawn are in the audience]

Officer Dibble: I clocked the vehicle, your honor, traveling in excess of the posted speed limit.

Cory: (Stands up, agitated) One mile over!

Judge Lamb: The law is the law, boy. And we obey the law in my courtroom. And if you speak out of turn again, I’ll hang you. (Holds up a noose he had been playing with)

Cory: (Scared) You would hang me on my birthday?

Judge Lamb: It’s your birthday, under oath?

Cory: (Holds up right hand) Under oath, your honor!

Judge Lamb: (Bangs gavel) You want a dog or a hat?

Cory: (Confused) What?

Judge Lamb: Hey, how about… (Inflates a long red balloon on a nearby air pump) …a sword? (Cory, Topanga, and Shawn exchange confused looks, Judge Lamb holds out a balloon sword) Here, have a sword.

Cory: (Walks over to the stand and takes the sword) (Genuinely excited) Wow, cool. (Turns to Shawn, who is now standing nearby) Look what I got.

Shawn: Yeah, yeah, that’s cool. (To Judge Lamb) Sidebar your honor? (Judge Lamb nods, Cory and Shawn step to the side) Cory, the first thing I learned in the street is that any judge who spontaneously makes you balloon toys will, at the end of the day, actually hang you.

Cory: This is my sword and I’m not sharing it.  (Shawn sits)

Judge Lamb: So, what brings a freshly-licensed sixteen-year-old kid from Philly all the way out here?

Cory: Well, I wanted to drive, they said I could drive, so I just drove. But my dad refuses to accept that I’m not his little kid anymore. Y’know, he wants to keep me at home… watch games… play football. So just got my friends, got the keys, and drove. I feel I did right.

Topanga: (Stands, steps forward) Your honor? Sir? Hi, Topanga Lawrence. Um, I just wanted to say that I can pay Cory’s fine if you’ll just tell me where the nearest ATM is located.

Judge Lamb: (Laughs) There’s not ATM. You’re in the middle of nowhere.

Topanga: Oh! Okay, well, in that case, all I can say is that, um… Cory is a very nice boy who never hurt anybody and if you do anything to him on his first day of driving than I just think you are a mean, mean…

Judge Lamb: (Bangs gavel hard, interrupting Topanga and making her & Cory jump) Dog or a hat?

Topanga: (Excitedly) Could it be a princess hat?

Judge Lamb: You got it. (Inflates a purples balloon)

[The camera cuts away from Judge Lamb to Cory & Topanga. There are the squeaky sounds of making a balloon toy, and when the camera cuts back to Judge Lamb he’s holding a large balloon hat]

Judge Lamb: (Holding out the hat) Here you go. (Topanga takes the hat, puts it on with an enormous smile, then goes back to sit next to Shawn. Alan enters) (To Cory) Um… tell you what I’m gonna do, son. Gonna drop all the charges right now if you’ll take this quarter and go to that phone there and… call your dad… tell him you were wrong.

Cory: (Contemplative pause, staring at Judge Lamb) No.

Shawn: (Pleadingly) Cory…

Cory: (Still looking forward) I’m sorry. I don’t believe I’m wrong.

Alan: (Steps forward) Well, I don’t believe I’m wrong, either, Cory.

Cory: (Turns) You didn’t have to come here, dad.

Alan: (Beckons Cory with a finger) George Feeny told me you called. You should’ve called me.

Cory: Why? So you can come to the rescue again and prove once again what a little, helpless kid I am?

Alan: (Sternly) Cory, you are my son. You will always be my son, whether you’re six or you’re sixty and your problem is my problem. Now I am always gonna be there for you. Now that is never going to change.

Cory: I just want you to treat me as someone who can handle his own problems, Dad. I want you to treat me like an adult.

Judge Lamb: (Bangs gavel) All right! I’ve heard enough. This court is read to pronounce sentence. Cory Matthews and Cory Matthews’ father, approach the bench. (Slowly, Cory and Alan step forward) (Clears throat) I hereby sentence you to, uh… two years.

Cory: What?

Judge Lamb: Today is your sixteenth birthday, son. That means you have two years more of being the kid. Now, I know that seems like hard labor when you have a license in your hand, but from what I can surmise of your home life, you’re luckier, Cory, than most who appear before me. And you, dad. I sentence you to take those two years and… cherish them. Because they go by too fast.

Alan: (Looks at Cory) Yes they do, don’t they.

Judge Lamb: (Smiles) Mm. It’s a speed trap. (Cory and Alan look at one another)

[TAG – Matthews’ living room. Cory and Alan are watching a home video or Cory driving a toy car. Having difficulty controlling it, Cory backs up towards a chair. The first set of lines is from the video.]

Alan: (VO, in the video) Whoa, whoa! Go forward. Forward, push it forward, that’s it. Okay. Go on. Hey! There you go! Oh, you should get your license.

[Cut back to the living room, Cory and Alan are on the couch]

Alan: (Chuckling) Happy birthday, son. (Puts arm around Cory and pulls him near)

Cory: Thanks, dad. So, uh, when do you think there’s gonna be tension between us again?

Alan: well, we just go through the drivers license thing, so probably the next time we fight (play punches Cory through the next few lines) will be over your choice in college.

Cory: Dad, I’m not going to college.

Alan: Well, then it will be over the job you wanna get.

Cory: Circus clown.

Alan: Well, I guess we’ll have to fight over the woman you’re gonna marry.

Cory: (Stops the play fighting) Dad, Topanga and I have already run off to Vegas.

Alan: (Calls upstairs) Amy!

Amy: (From upstairs) No more kids!

Alan: (To Cory) Well, I guess I’m stuck.

Cory: I guess you are. (Alan begins play punching) What’re you gonna do about it, punk? You wanna – you wanna make something of it?

(It escalates playfully. They exchange play hits and talk. They soon stand and Cory jumps on the couch)
 

END OF EPISODE

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