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TRANSCRIPT:
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Act One

Henry and Vicki are on a stakeout, trying to catch a cheating husband in the act. Vicki is holding out some sort of audio catcher (I have no idea what those things are named, sorry!) which is picking up the racy audio of two lovers in a nearby vehicle as Henry looks around the backseat for something.

Female: (muted) Oh, yes, Barry. (moans and groans, both male and female continue)

Henry: I can honestly say I never thought I’d be doing anything like this.

Vicki: Shh, shh, shh. Stop wigglin’ around.

They see the activity in the van across the way has ceased and two people appear in the driver and passenger seat of the van.

Vicki: Oh Barry, I hope that was good for you because it’s going to cost you.

Henry sees the vehicle headlights go on and shrinks down in his seat but Vicki has a better idea, pulling Henry into a kiss as the van drives by their location. Once the van is past she pulls away and slumps back into her own seat.

Vicki: Whew!

Henry: I think I’m gonna love stakeouts.

Vicki: Oh that… stop. We wouldn’t want the client to hear that on playback.

Henry: (laughs) Men these days have no idea how to treat a woman. He could have at least sprung for a motel room.

Vicki: Um… no. No motel… no receipt. No receipt – no paper trail. Which is why the wife has me following him around. Hmm, let’s see…

Vicki rewinds the tape and replays the squealing and moaning from moments before. She and Henry both have a good laugh over it.

Henry: You know I was once caught in ‘flagrante delicto’ with the girlfriend of a Vegas mobster. The mug popped me twice in the gut.

Vicki: I’m having a hard time picturing you as a gangster.

Henry pulls up his collar and adopts a ‘gangster’ accent.

Henry: When Bugsy caught me bumpin’ uglies with his twist, he went off the track, clipped me on the spot. He and his boys dumped me in a Vegas landfill like I was yesterday’s garbage. He figured... he figured I was down for the long dirt nap. But the next night, I was back with his skirt, ribbed up with the perfect song.

Vicki: (laughs) But, hey, wait a minute, you need blood to heal.

Henry: (chuckles) There’s lots of life in a dump. And beggars can’t be choosers.

Vicki: Eww, wow. I hope she was worth it.

Henry: Love is always worth the risk. Eternity’s a long time to live with regret.

Vicki: Did you ever consider writing greeting cards?

At the Garden Hill funeral home a man and his son are looking over a dead body. The father picks up one of the hands.

Ivan: Dad, I already did that.

Boris: The muscle tone isn’t nearly supple enough. What if his wife were to reach out and hold his hand? All she would feel is his death. Now apologize.

Ivan: Sorry.

Boris: Not to me.

Ivan: (mumbled) Mr. Swanson I apologize.

Boris: Now you may activate the pump.

The son crosses around and activates a pump which pours embalming fluid through a tube into Swanson’s dead body.

Boris: Let’s give Mr. Swanson some privacy, shall we?

Boris and Ivan leave Swanson alone on the table, the embalming fluids pumping into him. A moment later the door opens and a man in black, wearing a mask, comes in and sets a duffle bag on the table. He takes something out of his duffel bag and then takes the tube out of Swanson’s chest. Raising some sort of clay tablet, he breaks it in two and then places half of it in Swanson’s mouth. Swanson immediately opens his eyes and takes a raspy breath as he looks around.

 

Act Two

At the Garden Hill Funeral Home Boris is trying to explain to an agitated woman what’s happened.

Boris: Words can not begin to express how terribly sorry I am about this Mrs. Swanson. R-Rest assured this has never happened before.

Darlene: Diesel’s funeral was supposed to be this afternoon!

Boris: And as soon as your husband is retrieved…

Darlene: Retrieved! He’s not some bone for a dog to find Mr. Ulyanov. I’m going to the police.

As they are arguing Vicki comes in to the funeral home and hears their argument.

Boris: No one wants this sad, final chapter in Mr. Swanson’s life to become public knowledge. (Spotting Vicki) Ah, Ms. Nelson, thank you for coming so quickly.

Vicki: Well your message did say it was urgent.

Boris: Yes, very urgent. Uh, Mrs. Swanson, this was the private detective I was telling you about. Uh, she will ensure that your husband is found as quickly as possible.

Darlene: You’ll find my Diesel?

Vicki: I’ll do my best. If you’ll excuse me, I believe Mr. Ulyanov and I have some particulars to discuss about your case.

Vicki shepherds Boris into the room which, last night, contained the body of Diesel Swanson.

Boris: Thank you Ms. Nelson. You come highly recommended. Dr. Mohadevan assures me I can expect results.

Vicki: Well, in the future, you might want to make sure I’ll actually take the case before you start making promises.

Boris: And you can be discreet, yes? This matter requires discretion above all else. And results. Discretion and results.

Vicki: Why don’t you just start by telling me what happened to the late Mr. Swanson.

Boris: He arrived two days ago, liver failure. Jaundice wreaks havoc with the skin tone so he was scheduled for an overnight. When I came in this morning to check on the status of his embalming procedure, he was gone.

Vicki: Was there any evidence of a break in?

Boris: The back door was jimmied open. He-he must have came and left that way.

Vicki puts on her glasses and takes a look around.

Vicki: Are you sure?

Boris: Ivan and I were in the front office working on some paperwork. We would have seen him go out the front. Dr. Mohadevan also assures me that I can afford you the courtesy of full disclosure.

Vicki: And you haven’t called the police because… why?

Boris: There are aspects of this situation that the authorities wouldn’t necessarily comprehend.

He walks over to a cabinet and takes out a remote as Vicki approaches. It’s a security videotape of the previous evening and shows the man in black with his duffle bag.

Boris: This was taken by our security camera.

We see the man get out the tablet and break it, then feed it to Swanson.

Vicki: What is he doing?

The video shows Swanson sit upright and then get off the slab and follow the man in black out.

Vicki: I need that disc. (pause) And a very large retainer.

Boris grimaces and looks at Vicki.

That evening Vicki is in her office with Henry and shows him the security footage.

Vicki: Come take a look at this.

Henry moves to stand behind her but pauses as he smells something. He sniffs her hair, causing Vicki to get somewhat nervous.

Vicki: Whatcha doing?

Henry: There’s something different about you.

Henry continues to sniff Vicki’s hair and skin.

Vicki: I don’t think so. S-same soap, same shampoo, same detergent.

Henry moves Vicki’s hair out of the way and sniffs her neck and cheek

Henry: Something more primal.

Vicki: I… changed my fabric softener.

Vicki closes her eyes as Henry runs his nose up her cheek before resting his right temple against her left.

Henry: (whispered) You smell like death.

Vicki pulls away sharply and gives Henry a pointed look.

Vicki: Okay, how is that even remotely a turn on?

Henry: Decay is a common base-note in most perfume. Usually derived from Jasmine.

Vicki: Oh.

Henry moves Vicki’s hair out of the way again and rests his cheek against hers.

Henry: The fusion of attractive and repulsive scents creates a sense of urgency don’t you think?

Vicki: (blasé) Not really.

Vicki grabs Henry’s chin and forces him to look at the computer screen.

Vicki: Now watch, please.

Henry takes a look at the security footage.

Henry: Who is that?

Vicki: ‘Sweet’ Diesel Swanson.

Henry: Not exactly my type.

Henry tries to nip Vicki’s ear but she pulls away again.

Vicki: He was the heavyweight champion for about 10 minutes… until the Boxing Commission found out he’d bet on himself.

Henry focuses again on the footage which shows the man in black raising Swanson.

Henry: Are you investigating his death?

Vicki: Not exactly. There! What is that? Is that some kind of voodoo?

Henry: It’s a form of necromancy, a particularly foul magic practiced on the dead. From the looks of that mask, I’d say Egyptian.

Vicki: Hm.

Henry: What else do you have?

Vicki gets up and Henry takes her seat, watching the security footage intensely.

Vicki: Well, the guy who broke in. I mean, he knew the location of every one of the surveillance cameras so he picked the door closest to the prep room. He never shows his face. He left no fingerprints. He knows his way around this place.

Henry re-winds and watches the footage again, focusing intently on the screen as we again see Swanson follow the man in black out of the view of the camera.

 

 

Act Three

Vicki and Henry take a trip to see Mohadevan in the morgue to get more information on the Undertaker.

Mohadevan: Boris Ulyanov a necromancer? Impossible. He hired you to find Mr. Swanson.

Vicki: Well, unfortunately in my business, client does not always equal innocent.

Henry: How long have you known him?

Mohadevan: As long as I’ve worked here. He’s a most dedicated mortician. A heinous crime has been committed against Mr. Swanson. There’s nothing worse than an Easter Weekend.

Henry: Hm.

Vicki: I take it you don’t mean the holiday with the bunnies and the chocolate.

Henry: She’s talking about a resurrection.

Vicki: There’s a code word for walking dead?

Mohadevan: Well, many colleagues have had experiences that would sound ‘crazy’ to a layperson. When I started, I would see things out of the corner of my eye that I chalked up to tricks of light. Now, I uh accept the supernatural as a fact of life.

Vicki: And apparently a fact of death. All right, thanks.

Vicki and Henry turn to leave, discussing the case as they go.

Henry: So if Boris Ulyanov didn’t kill him, perhaps a disgruntled employee?

Vicki: No, disgruntled employees take office supplies.

Henry: So where does that leave us?

Vicki: Well, why resurrect the dead? Love?

Henry: His wife?

Vicki: Maybe he arranged all of this for himself.

Henry: Is that what you think?

Vicki: No, I think it’s a possibility. He found out he had liver failure, he couldn’t face it, so he went out and found someone who could resurrect him.

Henry: For the record, Swanson is re-animated. I am resurrected.

Vicki: There’s a difference?

Henry: Diesel Swanson is still walking only because of the dark magic to serve the necromancer who raised him. He has no freedom of will. He has no life. I maintain my personality, my intelligence, my wit.

Vicki: Your humility.

Henry: My soul.

The next day Vicki goes to question the funeral home staff, starting with Ivan.

Ivan: This whole walking dead thing must be pretty weird for you.

Vicki: It pays the bills.

Ivan: I’ve seen a lot of weird stuff. I grew up here, ya know?

Vicki: Was that difficult for you?

Ivan: No, it was a pretty typical childhood, actually. Except for all the dead bodies. I used to hide under the caskets during the funerals and pretend to drive the hearse. Aw, this whole place was like my play room. I-I think the other kids thought it-it was pretty cool, you know? In a freak show kinda way, you know? When my grade seven teacher died in a car accident, they brought her body here and everyone wanted to see it.

Vicki: Ha, here I was having slumber parties.

Ivan: Billy, m-my best friend at the time – we were pretty young – he dared me, and I dared him back, and you know how that goes. He pulled back the sheet and she sat straight up.

Vicki: She wasn’t dead?

Ivan: Oh she was dead. Head-on collision. Um, I could swear though she was looking right at me. I thought my dad was gonna kill us.

Vicki: How about recently, have you noticed anything strange?

Ivan: Dead body walking around is pretty strange.

Vicki: What about disgruntled former employees or dissatisfied customers.

Ivan: No, it’s just my dad and I. And, uh, we’ve never had a dissatisfied customer… until now.

After her visit to the funeral home Vicki goes to talk to Darlene Swanson.

Vicki: Hi, I wonder if I could ask you a few questions?

They go into Darlene’s living room where she is packing up some boxes.

Darlene: If you don’t mind, I’d like to get this done.

Vicki: You moving?

Darlene: To my sister’s. I have to, no insurance. Diesel tried hard but he wasn’t the best with money.

Vicki: You mind if I ask you some questions about his activities in the last few months?

Darlene: If he wasn’t here, he was at the Dome. It’s a sports joint down on King. Big screen TVs, big breasted waitresses, big everything. He took a job as a host. 600 a week. Plus free food and booze to sit at the bar and schmooze the paying customers. It was embarrassing.  He was only 36 and he was acting like his career was over.

Vicki: Yeah, he was quite a boxer.

Darlene: 46 and 1, every victory a knockout? He deserved that championship belt.

Vicki: I heard about the bet.

Darlene: The Commission decided to make an example of him. Fined him and laid down a ten year ban.

Vicki: Must have made him pretty angry.

Darlene: He gave up. I tried to tell him that his career wasn’t over but he couldn’t get over the guilt and the humiliation. That’s when he started drinking. What does this have to do with someone stealing his body?

Vicki: Nothing. How about friends or family? Is there anyone else who might have taken his death particularly hard?

Darlene: He traded them all in for bartenders in the last few months. You can tell me if you’re not going to find him.

Vicki: I’m not gonna make you any promises but I will do everything I can. Thanks for your time.

Vicki leaves Darlene to her packing and goes to see Mike at the station.

Mike: No one ever could hover as well as you.

Vicki: Hey, you remember Diesel Swanson?

Mike: Diesel, the boxer, yes.

Vicki: Yeah. His body was stolen from a mortuary a couple days ago.

Mike: And the reason the police weren’t called is…

Vicki: This is where it gets a little… tricky.

Mike sighs as Vicki pulls a chair close.

Vicki: It was theft by resurrection, re-animation. It was… He’s walking around. At first I thought maybe it was somebody who had something against Swanson and then I thought maybe they had something against the funeral home. I got to thinking and I wonder, you know, maybe this has happened before. Maybe he’s not the only one.

Mike: Well if body-snatching is the new joy-riding, I haven’t heard anything about it.

Vicki: Could you check?

Mike: (laughing) For what? Body snatchers?

Vicki: Yeah, or grave robbers.

Mike: Look, Vicki, I find out why people go into the ground, not why they come out, okay? Call me when he starts eating brains.

Vicki: He’s eating brains.

Mike: Nice try.

Vicki: His body was stolen.

Mike: Making it a case for Major Crimes.

Vicki: And he’s walking around.

Mike: And that is a Vegas act. Look, Vicki, I have five active cases here, okay? I wish I could help you but I can’t.

Vicki: All right. If you find anything out, will you let me know?

Mike: If I find something, I promise you will be the first to know.

Vicki: Thank you.

Mike: You’re welcome.

Back at Vicki’s office, Coreen has done some digging into the mask the body-snatcher was wearing.

Coreen: The mask is a representation of Anubis.

Vicki: Ah, the Egyptian god of the dead.

Coreen: According to the myth, he resurrected Osiris from the dead. My friend’s a security guard at the museum. He lets me borrow reference material from time to time.

Vicki: You stole this!

Coreen: Borrowed – can’t find everything on the internet.

Vicki: Ah, now all I have to do is find an Egyptian necromancer operating somewhere in the city. I love my job. Thanks for this, good work…

Coreen leaves Vicki alone with her reading.

Vicki: …Klepto.

Vicki reads everything she ever wanted to know about Egyptian myth as day turns to night. As she reads Henry’s feet appear next to where hers are resting on the desk, surprising her.

Vicki: You could knock.

Henry: You could call.

Vicki: You didn’t seem all that interested in the case.

Henry: Because I didn’t consider the well-being of Mr. Swanson’s corporeal husk to be an urgent priority?

Vicki: Well I gotta admit you seemed a bit flippant.

Henry: You’re searching for a body. I have absolutely no doubt that his soul is at peace.

Vicki: Yeah, I’m not so sure about that. Egyptian Funeral Rituals and Resurrection Mythology by William Carmichael.

Henry: Sounds exciting.

Vicki: Well its 300 pages of university grade double speak, complete with footnotes. He did have the courtesy to throw in a few photos.

Henry: Is there anything of value in it?

Vicki: Well, let’s see, the Egyptians believed that soul was divided into seven parts.

Henry: The Ren is your name. The Sekhem, energy. The Akh is best described as your ghost. Ka, life force. Ba, soul. Sheut, shadow. And the Sekhu, your physical remains.

Vicki: Well, gee, you’d pass the pop quiz.

Henry: I spent a little bit of time in Egypt.

Vicki: Yeah, I figured. The important ones for us though are Ba and Sekhu, soul and remains. The Ba was what was summoned back into the Sekhu during the resurrection ritual, ‘cause they believed that if the soul didn’t recognize its remains it wouldn’t return to it.

Henry: Hence mummification of the corpse. But what does that have to do with Swanson?

The question is left unanswered as the scene changes to a steel cage fighting square surrounded by a rowdy crowd. As the light goes on Swanson awakes, his eyes red and his hands taped. We see he has an opponent across the cage from him, also re-animated as the traditional Y-incision indicating an autopsy is in clear view. A loud voice comes from above, startling Swanson.

Necromancer: Welcome to the Necrodrome!

We get a look at the Necromancer as he holds up two pieces of the ceremonial clay type object he fed to Swanson on the table in the mortuary prep room.

Necromancer: Ready?

As he brings the two pieces of the stone together the crowd goes wild, hooting and hollering. Swanson and his opponent become more animated and some sort of magic happens as the stones are brought together.

Necromancer: Fight!

Swanson and his opponent take the command eagerly and charge each other, punching and throwing each other around the cage in a violent street fight. Swanson quickly gains the upper hand, kicking his opponent viciously before going behind him and snapping his neck.

Necromancer: Winner!

Swanson raises his arms in victory as the Necromancer pockets his ceremonial tablets and the crowd cheers Swanson on.

 

 

Act Four

Mike and Dave are at a scene. It appears the loser of the Necrodrome has been dumped in the woods. Dave approaches with a box of donuts

Mike: Hey

Dave: What’s up man?

Mike: Nothing like a body dump first thing in the morning, huh?

Dave: Hey, don’t be like that brother. I mean, this is our bread and butter.

Mike: Aw, come on. Trace evidence is completely spoiled. We’ve got no witnesses. There’s never any way in with these.

Dave: Why you always gotta look at the down side of it, man? I mean, here we are ya know? Out here in the fresh air ya know? Checking some fresh anatomy.

Mike: (chuckles) Oh god. It never fails to amaze me how much you actually enjoy these. Here, give me that.

Dave: (hands over the donut box) That’s my childhood, man. Walking by vacant lots, checking for, uh, you know any kind of corpse I could find.

Mike: (laughing) This is why you joined the force?

Dave: That’s why every day’s like Christmas man. Except for the dead bodies.

Mike: Yeah, and you’re the normal part of my life. Just great.

Dave: Dispatch said the, uh, body’s been all beaten up. Chest all cut apart.

Mike: Yup, that’s a thoracic abdominal incision. This guy’s had an autopsy already.

Dave: Well, how do you know it’s not some, uh, guy trying to play amateur pathologist.

Mike: Carl Blundell? The Iron Fist? Local wrestler?

Dave: Yeah? What did they do to him?

Mike: The guy died of a brain aneurysm a couple of months ago.

Dave: Y-yo! This dude is famous? Oh shoot man! Man you gotta get a picture of us man. You just…

Dave holds out his camera to Mike, who just looks at him while he eats a donut. Dave puts his camera away.

Dave: Just playing, man.

Mike: You know it’s interesting. Vicki’s working a body snatch case involving a missing boxer.

Dave: Man, that lady sure does get some weird cases.

Mike: Blundell’s supposed to be six feet under. What do you want to bet that Swanson and Blundell were taken by the same guy?

Dave: Yeah, but we’re homicide, not lost and found.

Mike: Wha…? Two dead athletes in a month? Two corpses taken? That doesn’t raise any red flags for you?

Dave: Well it don’t add up to murder.

Dave leaves Mike standing looking down at Blundell’s body. Later, he goes to see Mohadevan in the morgue.

Mike: Hey doc.

Mohadevan: Hello.

Mike: Did you get anything on those names I fired over to you?

Mohadevan: Carl Blundell died of a brain aneurysm. Diesel Swanson succumbed to liver failure.

Mike: So they both died of natural causes?

Mohadevan: Blundell, definitely natural causes. I can’t be as certain with Swanson. According to Swanson’s toxicology report, his blood contained high levels of paracetamol. (At Mike’s confused look) Oh, it’s a over the counter pain medication.

Mike: Hmm.

Mohadevan: A high level of paracetamol can cause irreversible liver failure. The attending pathologist should have flagged it.

Mike: Are you saying that somebody poisoned him.

Mohadevan: Or he poisoned himself.

Vicki shows up to the station to talk to Mike

Vicki: You were supposed to call me.

Mike: Yeah, Swanson’s not the only body that’s gone missing this month.

Vicki: I know – Carl Blundell. Mohadevan called me.

Mike: Ah, the things you girls talk about.

Vicki: Look, Mike, you need to be careful. This is not your usual body snatcher.

Mike: Yeah, maybe not, but one’s a possible homicide. Swanson may have been poisoned.

Vicki: You have any suspects?

Mike: Maybe. We both know the type of killer that prefers poison as a murder weapon.

Vicki: Nahh, I don’t think the wife’s good for this.

Mike: Well, thank you very much. I’ll take that under advisement. (pauses) You know, this kind of connects our cases.

Vicki: Oh, ho, ho, ho, yeah, and you’ve been so helpful up til now.

Mike: Come on, come on, come on, what do you got?

Vicki: Actually, not much. All I know was that Swanson was resurrected by a type of Egyptian necromancy.

Mike: Okay, uh, you got anything that I can actually use?

Vicki: I’m not sure but I think there’s a connection between his death and his abduction.

Mike: Right. Well, you know what? I’m gonna use good old-fashioned reality and see what the wife has to say. What do you think about that huh?

Vicki: Knock yourself out.

Mike: I think I will.

Mike sticks his tongue out at Vicki as he takes his files and heads into the interrogation room. She chuckles before heading down to the morgue to quiz Mohadevan, who is trying to pry something out of Blundell’s mouth.

Mohadevan: As I told Detective Celluci some of his postmortem injuries are suspicious. There is something in his throat.

Vicki: You know on that surveillance tape, the Necromancer put something in Swanson’s mouth.

Mohadevan: Really? (Pulls out the half of a clay tablet) Perhaps this is the evidence you seek.

Vicki gets out her digital camera and Mohadevan holds the tablet up for a clear picture.  Meanwhile, Mike questions Swanson’s wife.

Mike: Before Mr. Swanson passed away, was he on any medication?

Darlene: Not that I know of.

Mike: Was he taking, uh, Aspirin or Ibuprofen? Any kind of painkillers?

Darlene: Alcohol. You’re asking a lot of questions about a man whose liver gave out.

Mike: Well, Mrs. Swanson, the coroner found abnormal levels of paracetamol in your husband’s blood. It’s a, uh, a headache medicine. Or a poison, depending on the dosage.

Darlene: You think I poisoned my husband? For what? The money?

Mike: Oh, I’m not blaming anyone of anything; it’s just that, uh, if Diesel were hitting you or you found yourself not being able to take it anymore…

Darlene: Should I be calling a lawyer?

Mike: You tell me.

Darlene: Diesel was a good man who gave up on life.

Mike: Maybe somebody helped him along.

Darlene: If anyone poisoned him it was those bastards at the Dome who fed him all that booze. Why don’t you go and arrest them?

Mike considers what Darlene has to say. Later that evening he heads over to the Dome and questions a man sitting outside the door.

Mike: Hey.

William: Oh we’re not open for another hour.

Mike: Detective Celluci, Metro PD. Mind if I ask you a few questions? (holds up a picture of Diesel) You ever see this guy hanging out here?

William: Yeah, Diesel, yeah, yeah, he works here. Or he used to. Nice guy. He tipped even when his booze was comped.

Mike: So you guys must have talked a lot huh?

William: If he wasn’t talking to a fan he wasn’t really talking.

Mike: Ever see anybody that had a beef with him?

William: Naw, everybody loved him, and if they didn’t they stayed out of his way.

Mike: The coroner found something suspicious during his autopsy so… you know how it goes. Well, uh, thanks for your time. I didn’t catch your name.

William: William Carmichael.

Mike: (handing William a card) If you can think of anything else with Diesel I’d appreciate a call.

William: Sure thing.

Mike: All right.

William: Yup.

Mike: Oh, one more thing. Did you ever see a guy named, um, Carl Blundell hanging around here?

William: No. If he did, I didn’t see him.

Mike: All right, thanks again, William.

William watches Mike walk away, pondering things as he smokes a cigarette.

Vicki is in her office going over a blown up picture of the tablet Mohadevan pulled out of Blundell’s throat. Coreen looks on while Henry peruses a book.

Vicki: (looking at the Egyptian markings on the stone) Well, I think they might be the same on both sides. Yeah, that’s Bennu bird.

Coreen: And that’s Osiris.

Vicki: That’s the Ba.

Coreen: What is that?

Henry: Diesel Swanson.

Vicki: How do you know that?

Henry: Am I the only one in the room who read the Rosetta stone? (Vicki and Coreen share a confused look) You gotta be kidding me.  (he sinks into a seat on the other side of the desk) God, I feel old.

Vicki: Okay, Bennu bird, Osiris, Ba. Diesel Swanson. I think this is a requisition form for a soul.

Henry: There would be rituals involved in enchanting a tablet but essentially, yes. But why does he snap the tablet in half?

Coreen: Maybe the guy who wrote this can help. He mentions a lost chapter in the Book of the Dead that describes a resurrection ritual. It involves a clay tablet. He’s the closest thing we’ve got to an expert.

Vicki: I think he may be more than that. I mean the same magic he describes in his thesis is being practiced to raise the dead. I think William Carmichael might be our Necromancer.

Vicki and Henry head over to William Carmichael’s apartment and stop outside the door.

Vicki: Anybody home?

Henry: I don’t sense anyone.

Vicki tries the doorknob which isn’t locked and opens immediately.

Vicki: Never a good sign.

Vicki goes in first and looks around the apartment with her flashlight. As she flashes it around it focuses briefly on Swanson who yells and attacks them. Henry pushes Vicki behind him, moving them out of the way so all Swanson attacks is a wall of the apartment. Henry growls as Swanson turns to look at them.

Swanson: Stay away or I’ll kill you, too.

Vicki: He can talk?!

Henry: He can do a lot more than that.

Swanson attacks again but Henry sidesteps him and he goes out another door, falling over the railing to the parking lot below. Henry runs out after him but Swanson is no where to be found.

 

 

Act Five

Alone in the apartment Henry turns on a light as he and Vicki search for more information.

Vicki: You could really hear Swanson. He’s trapped in there.

Henry: I’d feel sorrier for the man if he didn’t try to take my head off. What are we looking for?

Vicki: Anything.

Vicki empties the trash onto the floor and starts going through it as Henry looks at a miniature statue of Anubis.

Henry: Is that really necessary?

Vicki: This from a man who spent a weekend in a Vegas dumpster?

Vicki finds a sheet of paper with computer code printed on it. They take it back to the office for Coreen to analyze.

Coreen: What you found was code for some kind of internet site. And here we go…

On the screen pops up a black and white picture with the words NECRODROME spelled out in big letters with a clickable “enter” link right below it.

Coreen: What’s a Necrodrome?

Henry: Necro, dead. Drome, arena.

Entering the site, Coreen pulls up a streaming video of Swanson and Blundell’s cage match. Also on the page is an area for “betting results” and a bunch of Egyptian symbols.

Coreen: Is this a snuff film?

Henry: Technically they’re already dead.

They watch as Swanson snaps Blundell’s neck and Vicki visibly recoils. Coreen, also, is visibly upset.

Vicki: Okay, I’ve seen enough.

Coreen: Excuse me.

Coreen gets up and hurries out of the room.

Vicki: Are you okay?

Coreen: (muted) I’m fine.

Henry: Shall we? See what’s next.

Vicki clicks on a link and they see a countdown on the screen.

Henry: Less than 24 hours ‘til the next fight.

Vicki: Man, I hate working to a deadline.

Henry: Who are you calling?

Vicki: (on the phone) Hey Mike, it’s me. I got something for ya. Motive.

At the Dome William is arguing with someone on the phone as he leads Swanson to the cage.

William: No! Screw your schedule! I haven’t had time to find another fighter yet. Well because I was busy stripping the apartment of any evidence. Because… some cop was asking questions, all right? No, you know what? Y-you find yourself someone, I’m busy.

Hanging up William unlocks the cage and motions Swanson inside.

William: Hey. Hey, what are you waiting for? Get in there. Come on.

William pushes Swanson inside the cage and leaves him there. Swanson crouches in the corner sadly, looking at his wedding ring.

Back at Vicki’s office, she is replaying the Necrodrome fight between Swanson and Blundell for Mike.

Mike: Aww, that’s enough. Where did you get this?

Vicki: Coreen dug up a thesis on Egyptian resurrection rituals. We went to go talk to the author and found Swanson’s corpse guarding his apartment and then I, yeah…

Mike: William Carmichael.

Vicki: What, you know him?

Mike: Swanson’s favorite bartender.

Vicki: Wait, so Blundell dies of natural causes, gives Carmichael the idea for Necrodrome, and then he needs a challenger.

Mike: So Carmichael slips Swanson a paracetamol soda.

Vicki: He had ample opportunity.

Mike: Steals the body and sets up his next little cage match.

Vicki: Yeah, but take a look at this. It’s a count-down timer to the next match. Carmichael’s promising another fight which means he needs another fighter.

Mike: Yeah, all right. We’re going to send an APB out on Carmichael and, uh, I’ll see what our tech guys can find out on this website.

Vicki: Okay, Henry and I will…

Mike: You’re gonna stay out of it.

Vicki: What? I give you information and you cut me off?

Mike: What? Didn’t I say thank you?

Vicki: Okay, you know what? Finding Carmichael is your case but retrieving Swanson’s body’s mine.

Mike: Knock yourself out.

Mike leaves Vicki and heads straight over to his computer tech.

Mike: Jeb, any luck with that site?

Jeb: Server’s in Bulgaria. They tried hiding it with a re-routed IP address.

Mike: That’s a bad thing?

Jeb: Uploads originate here via wireless.

Mike: And that means what?

Jeb: Sourcing location. Triangulate.

Mike: Okay.

Jeb grabs a printout and hands it to Mike.

Mike: Wait, that’s here in the city.

Jeb: Yep.

Mike: Oh, great work, Jeb. Thank you!

Jeb: You got it. Go get ‘em sir!

Mike pulls up outside an industrial area. He grabs a flashlight and takes a look around. Meanwhile, Henry is listening through earphones to the Swanson/Blundell fight, trying to find the location.

Henry: Vicki!

Vicki: Please tell me you’ve got something.

Henry: Maybe, I can hear something in the background on this audio.

Vicki: Can I?

Henry: You’re gonna have to trust me on this one, unless you can hear subsonic sounds.

Vicki: Okay, what is it?

Henry: Train 79, Montreal. Now boarding.

Vicki takes Henry’s place at the computer and pulls up the train schedules.

Vicki: Okay there’s a night train to Montreal out of Union Station. We’ll head down there and work our way out.

Henry: You know this can’t have a happy ending. When we find Swanson we’re gonna have to stop him. Literally.

Vicki: Yep. Well at least Darlene will be able to say goodbye properly. That should be worth something.

Mikes is still searching the industrial area with his flashlight. He sees Swanson in the cage and shines his light on him, rousing Swanson from his dose.

Mike: Swanson?

Swanson: Please… let me die.

Swanson gets up and rattles the cage.

Necromancer: Looks like we found our next challenger.

Mike turns to see the Necromancer pushing Carmichael in front of him and holding up half of a clay tablet. Carmichael appears to have been shot through the forehead and then resurrected as blood drips from between his eyes, which are all red and bloody the way Swanson’s are.

 

 

Act Six

A man is waving quite a bit of traffic into the industrial park now, trying to hurry them all in before the fight.

Greeter: Let’s go. Move it. Move it. They’re on in a few minutes.

A little ways away Henry and Vicki pull up behind Mike’s abandoned car. They get out and Vicki draws Henry’s attention to it.

Vicki: That’s Mike’s car.

Henry: He must be close.

Vicki: I’m gonna have to have a little chat with him about sharesies.

They go to walk into the complex but stop and hide when they see the crowd gathering for the fight.

Vicki: Hm.

Henry: Must be something.

Vicki: Well, I guess I should have dressed up.

Henry and Vicki walk towards the crowd as the greeter continues to take the money and motion people inside.

Vicki: Oh, I’m looking forward to this.

Henry: I wish I could share the same enthusiasm.

As they approach the door the greeter is shoving it closed, having ushered the audience inside.  They walk right up to him as he waits near the now closed door.

Vicki: Looks like this could be a tough party to crash.

Henry: Looks can be deceiving.

Henry winks and then turns and lays out the greeter in one punch

Vicki: Ohhh. Okay, uh, you know what? Go to Mike’s car, give me three minutes, then switch on the sirens and head back in here.

Henry: How do I do that?

Vicki: It’s the switch marked “sirens”.

Henry: Sirens.

Henry walks away as the greeter starts coming to and getting back to his feet. Vicki gives him another shot and knocks him out, then drags the body out of the way and looks for another entrance.

Inside the Necromancer is announcing the fight.

Necromancer: Connoisseurs of the grotesque! Welcome to the Necrodrome.

Inside the cage Mike and Swanson are facing each other. Vicki walks in and sees the cage match that’s about to begin and waits for a moment.

Vicki: Any time now Henry.

All of the sudden Mike’s sirens start going off and everyone starts to scatter. Vicki moves forward with her flashlight up like a gun.

Vicki: NOBODY MOVE!

Mike sees Vicki and grabs the cage.

Mike: VICKI WAIT! HE’S GOT MY…

The Necromancer pulls off his mask and raises his gun at her. It’s Ivan Ulyanov.

Mike: gun.

Vicki: (holding up her hand in greeting to Mike before focusing on Ivan) Great. You and Carmichael, partners. Nice business plan.

Ivan: We were partners. Until somebody got scared. (He holds out a bag containing the clay tablets) Billy! Come forward.

Vicki: (As William moves to the edge of the cage) You have the power to resurrect the dead and this is how you use it?

Ivan: This is how it was meant to be used. I’m not gonna grow old massaging dead people’s hands. I spent years watching my father fawning over them like they were something special. More concerned about them than his own family. The dead… are meant to serve us. They will serve me.

Vicki: They’re people. And you’re enslaving them for some sick sport.

Ivan: The fights? Nah, it’s a promotional tool. A chance to showcase their skills. And when the right people realize what I’ve accomplished here…? I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about the military applications.

Ivan shakes the bag of tablets at William again.

Ivan: Billy, take her.

The cage opens and Vicki obliges Ivan, backing into the cage and past William.

Vicki: Billy, of course, William your friend in the prep room.

Ivan laughs as Vicki walks over to Mike and William closes the cage door once again.

Vicki throws up her hands as she reaches Mike’s side.

Mike: I told you to keep your nose outta this.

Vicki: Yeah, well, I ignored you. Besides, somebody’s gotta save your cute little ass.

Mike: Yeah, and you’re doing a wonderful job by the way.

Vicki: It gets better, don’t worry. (taking off her glasses) All right, Ivan, I’m gonna give you one last chance to surrender.

Ivan: I got you prisoner. I got the zombies and the gun.

Henry jumps down from the cage and knocks the gun out of Ivan’s hands and then pushes him to the floor. Then Henry turns and goes to the cage.

Ivan: KILL THEM!

Swanson attacks Mike and William attacks Vicki but she quickly gains the upper hand and snaps his neck. Henry rips the chain off the door and runs inside as Vicki runs out. Ivan gets up and holds the gun on her.

Inside the cage Henry pulls Swanson away from Mike and checks him out.

Henry: You okay?

Mike: Yeah, yeah.

Swanson attacks again and Henry moves towards him.

Henry: Diesel! Don’t!

Swanson grabs Henry by the neck. Mike tries to help but Swanson easily grabs him around the neck with his other arm.

Outside the cage Vicki rushes Ivan and takes the gun away from him before turning it on him.

Vicki: Safety’s on!

Inside the cage Henry adopts his vampire voice and tries to talk Swanson down, holding Diesel’s hand away from his throat.

Henry: Diesel stop!

Swanson: Can’t… stop!

Henry: (normal voice) You can beat this! You’re strong. You’re stronger than him! Diesel, your wife sent us.

Diesel stops and lets Mike go

Swanson: Darlene…

Vicki throws the bag of tablets into the cage.

Vicki: HENRY!

Ivan: NOOOO!

Henry grabs the bag and brings it to Diesel, shaking out the tablets into his palm and letting Swanson rummage through them for his.

Henry: (vampire voice) This is what you want. This is what you want.

Mike: Henry, are you sure that’s such a good idea?

Mike leaves Henry and Swanson in the cage and jogs over to Vicki.

Mike: Vicki, on your left.

Mike hands her a pair of handcuffs and she goes to Ivan and puts them on him. Swanson finds the right tablet and he immediately turns around and tries to leave the cage. Henry moves around in front of him, cutting him off and trying to hold him back from Mike, Vicki and Ivan.

Henry: Diesel. Diesel!

Swanson: Give him to me.

Vicki: As much as I would like to do that Diesel, he’s our responsibility now. Diesel! Stop!

Mike: Time to find out what a head shot does to a zombie!

Vicki and Henry: He’s not a zombie!

Ivan: You let him do this, that’s murder!

Diesel goes by Ivan, who falls to the ground in relief.

Mike: Where’s he going?

Vicki: Oh god, I think I know where. Diesel! Diesel! Stop!

Swanson: I want to see her.

Vicki: You’re in no condition.

She gestures towards a shiny piece of metal and Swanson looks at himself and starts to calm down. He looks down at his wedding ring and then turns back to Vicki.

Swanson: No. Tell her I…

Vicki: She knows. And she loves you. She knows you love her.

Henry: Maybe there is a way.

At the Garden Hill Funeral home Vicki and Henry stand watch over Swanson in the prep room as Darlene comes in to see him. Boris accompanies her. She approaches him, crying.

Darlene: Oh baby. I’ll always love you.

Darlene takes his hand and holds it and then reaches out to stroke his face.

Darlene: It’s like he’s asleep.

Vicki and Henry share a look, Henry seeming particularly affected by the scene. He reaches into his pocket and hands Vicki a couple of envelopes held together by a rubber band.

Henry: (quietly) Proceeds from the door.

Vicki: I’ll take care of it.

Vicki goes over to Darlene and takes her out of the room as Henry approaches Swanson.

Henry: It’s time my friend.

Swanson begins to cry as Henry takes out the tablet and puts it in his hand. Swanson looks at Henry for a moment as he raises the tablet.

Swanson: Thank you.

Swanson eats the other half of the tablet and dies as Henry looks on. Vicki returns as Henry reaches out and closes Swanson’s now dead eyes and then places Swanson’s hands on his chest. He walks over to Vicki.

Henry: What’s gonna happen to Ivan?

Vicki: With any luck he’ll go away for life for Swanson and Carmichael’s murders.

Henry: Being caught in a warehouse surrounded by dead people shouldn’t help his case any.

Vicki: I think I get it now. The sweetness of death.

Henry: It’s an acquired taste.

Henry and Vicki leave the prep room, Henry closing the door behind them.

End Necrodrome

== BLOOD TIES ==
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