Office of Ally McBeal.
Ally McBeal.
AMB is looking through a window. VS sings "Maryland"
During the narrative part we can see images of AMB 8 years old with a guy the same age. Or AMB 13-14 years old with the same guy. (first kiss, first time in a car...)
AMB (narrative): I’m not sure how it all started. Oh it was ‘cause I smelled his bottom. It wasn’t that stupid. We saw dogs do it. That’s how they knew for sure so... (laughs) No we didn’t even smell anything. Oh... it was the kiss. It was too... so... Oh I actually felt my whole body tingle. Or maybe it was when our tongues touched or... No, no it was that first kiss... which was so soft... his lower lip barely touching my top lip. That was magic. The first time wasn’t... I pinched a nerve in my neck. If we could have just stayed broken up... but I just had to follow him to law school. I didn’t even want to be a lawyer. I... I just, hum... maybe I studied to hard. No. No it wasn’t me. It was him. He’s the one who had to transfer to Michigan.
<Flashback>
BT: ...Michigan.
AMB: Just like that ?
BT: Ally, I want to clerk when I get out. If I don’t make law review...
AMB: So you expect me to leave Harvard, give up my place on law review so you...
BT: I don’t expect it. I wouldn’t even ask it. But...
AMB: So basically, you’re putting your law career between us. Well I choose the law, too. But I choose Boston.
<End of flashback>
AMB (narrative): So here I am, the victim of my own choices... and I’m just starting.
Credits
Work place - Office of Ally McBeal.
Ally McBeal and Jack Billings.
AMB is arriving. She stops at the information office waiting for notes for her. JB comes at the desk.
AMB: Love and low are the same, romantic in concept but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection. But I actually did like my job until one of the senior partners started to like me. (JB slightly passes his hand on AMB’s buttocks) I thought it had to be my imagination. I mean, please. (another time, another place, JB is doing the same – too close-) It was never that obvious till one night...
Work place - Library.
Ally McBeal and Jack Billings.
AMB on a stepladder reading a book. JB enters and puts his both hands on AMB’s buttocks.
AMB (to JB): Hey! Don’t you ever do that again.
JB: I apologize. I have Epstein-Barr.
AMB drops her book on JB’s head.
Work place – Office of Mr. Lyne.
Ally McBeal and Mr. Lyne
AMB (narrative): When I told Mr. Lyne the story he got fired.
RL: What ?
AMB: The guy grabbed my buttocks.
Work place – Office of Mr. Lyne.
Jack Billings and Mr. Lyne
JB: What ?
RL: You’re fired.
JB: I’ll sue.
Work place – Conference room.
Ally McBeal, her attorney, Mr. Lyne, Jack Billings and a steno.
AMB (narrative): And he did. He claimed O.C.D. – obsessive compulsive disorder, the sickness being to squeeze butts.
Work place – Office of Mr. Lyne.
Ally McBeal and Mr. Lyne
RL: He filled a claim under the federal disabilities act.
AMB: What are you saying ?
RL: Well because of attorney’s fees, punitive and possible treble damages that go with the suit, I’m saying the partner would rather be sued by you.
Work place – Hall.
Ally McBeal.
AMB (narrative): They got their wish. I remembered that "fool for a client" rule so I retained independent counsel, filed a claim and planned to go public. But he didn’t care about it being public. In fact, to help bolster his O.C.D. defense, he started squeezing butts all over, as strategy. To do it in the open, he must have O.C.D. That was the thinking anyway.
Work place – Office of Mr. Lyne.
Ally McBeal and Mr. Lyne
AMB: It’s a complete pretext... He’s mocking us.
RL: I know it’s absurd. This guy’s a master litigator. He knows how to manipulate the facts. We can’t prove it’s a pretext.
AMB: You don’t want to prove it. He’s a rainmaker, you’d rather lose me than him. Tell me I’m wrong.
Work place – In front of the building.
Ally McBeal and Richard Fish.
AMB is coming out the building.
AMB (narrative): I quit. I... I... I... I had to quit. I mean if I didn’t have my dignity I had to at least make it look like I did.
RF: Ally ? Ally McBeal.
AMB: Oh, no.
RF: I can’t believe, I haven’t seen you forever.
AMB: Richard, how are you ?
RF: I’m outstanding You look fabulous.
AMB: I know, I just got fired for it.
RF: What ?
AMB (narrative): Richard and I were classmates. We weren’t close.
AMB (to RF): There’s this really big fat man. He’s pinching my ass...
RF: This is perfect. I just started my own practice. You will join us today.
AMB: Excuse me ?
RF: Yeah, look we’re just up the street. (grabs box) We’ve got these great offices...
AMB (thinking):Working for you ? With your philosophy of law ?
<Flashback>
RF: Piles and piles of money. If I help clients the way, that’s great but mainly I’m in this for the big piles. The hit, the big piles.
<End of flashback>
AMB: And what would I start at ?
Cabinet Cage / Fish & associates – Hall.
Richard Fish and Ally McBeal.
AMB (narrative): I don’t understand. I go to law school ‘cause I was so in love with a guy. He leaves me to make law review and now I’m singing up with somebody who... who... who... who started his own firm for the piles ?
RF is showing the offices to AMB. He’s fast, AMB is a bit behind him. She can’t follow him.
RF: John Cage is my co-founder, you’ll love him. He’s out today getting his frown lines bo-toxed. Makes rain in his sleep. Look at this office avant-rich. It stinks of money. Over here is your office. This is Elaine Vassal, she’ll be your assistant.
EV: I stocked your office supplies and I’ll program your speed dials however you want. Would you like a voice-activated dictaphone ?
AMB: Um... I...
EV: You don’t have to decide now. And there’s the Man Made file. I already filed your appearance.
AMB: I beg your pardon ?
RF: We figure the best way is to jump in. Motion, second session. Suffolk, we represent Man Made magazine. Guy’s seeking prior restraint, your wheelhouse.
EV: Judge Hopkins is sitting. He’s tough but fair. Not big on pantsuits for women. This will be fine.
RF: Hemline’s a little high but who am I to notice ?
A guy is passing by the office.
RF (to BT): Hey Billy, come on in for a second, I want you to meet somebody. Ally McBeal, Billy Alan Thomas. Billy was with us at Harvard first year before he transferred.
BT: We know each other.
RF: You do ? Oh, my God. Oh, I feel so stupid. You two were...
BT: She’s working here ?
RF: Yes. Is that a problem because...?
BT: No. It’s not to me. (to AMB) Is it to you ?
AMB: Me ? No.(gulps) It’s fine.
BT: Fine.
RF: Fine.
AMB: Fine.(uncomfortable) I have to go the bathroom.
AMB leaves.
EV: It’s this way.
Cage / Fish & associates – The bathroom.
Ally McBeal and Richard Fish.
AMB comes in and go to a washbasin. She stares at her in a mirror.
AMB (thinks): This is not a big deal. It’s okay. It’s not a tragedy. It’s just a funny bounce of the ball, that’s all.
A huge ball falls down on AMB. (it’s a fantasy). RF comes in.
RF: Ally. (he inspects under the doors)
AMB: Rich... Richard, Richard I’m in the bathroom.
RF: Oh well unisex. Studies show it helps employees breed familiarity. So long as they don’t come in to just breed. (laughs) It’s... uh.. Seriously, is working with Billy going to be a problem ? I can’t do anything about it but I’d be happy to sympathize.
AMB: Yeah. Before we get to that, if you don’t object I have this lawsuit against Jack Billings and I have a deposition scheduled for Friday.
RF: Say no more. You can do it from here. We would be happy to lead the charge.
AMB: Great. Great. So, uh who’s your best litigator ?
RF: That would be Billy.
AMB: Oh that would figure. Who’s your second best ?
RF: Ally, this lawsuit, is it more about accounting for yourself or do you want to give it to Billings ? I sense that you’d like to grind up this guy’s head and feed it through his intestines.
AMB: Something like that.
RF: Then go with Billy. He’s your man.
RF leaves.
AMB (thinks): Go with Billy. He’s my man.
A flat – The bathroom
Ally McBeal and a woman.
AMB is wearing a bra and is actually doing her make-up. Her roommate is at the door – wide opened.
RR: It’ll kill you, getting up early.
AMB: I don’t have to get up earlier.
RR: Working with your ex-boyfriend, hair and makeup alone is an extra half hour.
AMB: Renee, I stopped caring 3 years ago.
RR: That’s why you’re in here changing lip liner and wishing your breasts were bigger.
AMB: Out. Out. Out.
RR leaves, AMB closes the door.
AMB (thinks): I do wish my breasts were bigger. Not huge, but... less small. They... they could... I’d look good less small.
AMB looks at herself in the mirror seeing her breasts growing until her bra breaks.
Cage / Fish & associates – Hall.
Ally McBeal, Richard Fish and Elaine Vassal.
RF: Ally, there’s no precedent for enjoining an autobiographical article.
AMB: But a minister and a nun ?
EV: I color-coded the pleadings, notice, motions and memo. I also know the clerk in second session so I put in a good word.
AMB (thinks): I think Elaine, while telling you what’s been done really only wants you to know she’s the one doing it. People like this, I imagine their heads growing when they speak. (actually EV’s head grows)It could be me. I... I don’t know.
EV: I’ll be right back.
RF: Remember your law review article on Fortune 500’s federal and state taxation ?
AMB: Yeah; I’m still trying to sell the movie rights.
RF (laughs): Seriously, we’ve got a meeting coming up with counsel for Air National. You could possibly be of help. This is a very big opportunity...
AMB (thinks): Help how ? What does he want me to do ? I know how he lands clients. He either drools with sympathy, makes them feel heard...
<Fantasy>
Camera is down. It focuses on RF goes on his client level.
RF (to a female client): We will take care of this. Yes we will.
<End of fantasy>
AMB (thinks): Or he just promises whatever to get even with somebody.
<Fantasy>
Camera is up. It focuses on RF is the boss, the man who knows how it works.
RF (to a male client): Let me tell you something. I didn’t become a lawyer because I like the law. The law sucks. It’s boring. But it can also be used as a weapon. You want to bankrupt somebody ? Cost him everything he’s worked for ? Make his wife leave him ? Even cause his kids to cry ? Yeah, we can do that.
<End of fantasy>
RF: It’s important they come out believing they’ll pay less taxes. (leaving) Less taxes, reduces, not as much, diminished, abated, less, less than, lower... I’m nothing if not redundant. I also repeat myself.
BT: Hey.
AMB (gasps): Hey Billy, hi. (gulps) Morning.
BT: Coffee ?
AMB: Um... (AMB imagines BT and her in a Jacuzzi-cup of coffee. Her being kissed by him) Sure.
Cage / Fish & associates – Office of Billy Thomas.
Billy Thomas and Ally McBeal
BT: Richard asked me to cover your deposition against Jack Billings.
AMB: Yeah. Yeah It’s a stupid case, I know.
BT: You want to get him.
AMB: I do.
BT: And you’re comfortable with me handling it ?
AMB: Sure.
BT: Okay. You don’t know how many times I almost picked up the phone and call...
AMB: You won’t have to think about that now. We’ll be passing each other in the hallway. So, um... last I heard you were clerking for Souter.
BT: Yeah. Then I took a job with Steptoe but when Richard started this place it was to tempting to pass up. You know Richard.
AMB (laughs): Yeah. So, you, um... seeing anybody ?
BT: Actually, I’m married.
AMB: Oh. How wonderful.
BT: Does that change your feelings about wanting to work here ?
AMB: Do you have kids ?
BT: No. I... I’m... I’m sorry, you know if it hurts. I know it’d be hard for me the other way around.
AMB: Thank you but you really don’t have to worry. I’m fine.
BT: Well, believe it or not. I’m actually glad you’re here.
AMB (thinks): Really ?
BT: Not as an ex-girlfriend but as a lawyer who appreciates a talented addition to the firm.
AMB imagines arrows piercing her heart.
AMB (almost crying): Well, as a lawyer, I guess I better get down to court. I have to go get wet.
BT: Okay.
AMB has difficulties to open the door.
AMB: See you around.
BT: Yep.
AMB: Oh... (using her index as a gun)
BT answers her with his index. AMB gets out and closes the door angry.
A street in Boston.
Ally McBeal
AMB is on her way to the court.
AMB (narrative): Men are like gum anyway. After you chew, they lose their flavor. I hate his new haircut. I’m glad he’s married. I don’t ever have to think about him. I should be happy. I am happy. I’m feeling good.
AMB bumps into a walker-by.
WB: Sorry.
AMB (angry): Don’t say you’re sorry when you’re not. You didn’t even look up and see who you bumped. What if I was an old lady ? I could’ve fallen down and broken a hip. I could be lying on my back in some H.M.O., my lungs filling up with phlegm till I’m on life support draining my family of every last cent of their inheritance. Don’t say you’re sorry when you’re not (she pushes him at his elbow) (to WB#2 who stopped nearby) You with him ?
They both leave. AMB continues her walk.
AMB (thinks): That probably wasn’t normal behavior.
Court – A courtroom.
Ally McBeal, her client, Reverend Kessler, Attorney Henry Thorton, Judge Raynbsford Hopkins and Bailliff.
Bailiff: Case number 6.0.3.2.0: Reverend Kessler versus Man Made magazine.
HT: Good morning, Your Honor. Henry Thornton for the petitioner.
AMB: Ally McBeal for the defendant.
HT: Your Honor, Reverend Kessler, today, requests this court issue an injunction for evidence...
AMB (narrative): I always get nervous walking in but as soon as I take my feet, I’m fine. (Flashback with Ally’s father pleading, young Ally staring at him from the bench). My father’s a lawyer. I spent a lot of time sitting in a courtroom watching him, listening to him, studying him. (end of flashback)
HT: ... show a disregard for the truth.
AMB: What he’s asking for is censorship. There’s no other word for it.
HT: My client is an Episcopalian minister. He’s depicted as a sex-crazed depraved pervert.
AMB: One of the byproducts of living in a free country with a free and rigorous press...
RH: Stop.
AMB (thinks): Uh oh.
RH: I’m not going to have you stand before me saluting the flag. This piece of filth has nothing to do with democracy. (grabbing an issue of the magazine).
AMB (walking from her bench to RH) : Are you able to quantify filth, Your Honor ? Because The Supreme Court so far has not been able to.
RH: Did your client takes step to verify this nun’s version of events ?
AMB (thinks): Oh God he cares about the facts. (looking at her client sighing yes)
RH: Interview the minister ? Did you get his account ?
AMB’s client sighs no.
AMB: Um... no.
RH: I’m shocked. Well, uh, Ms. McBeal, as a matter of law, you’re a hundred percent correct. (AMB smiles) The magazine has every constitutional right to publish the article. But I’m enjoining them from doing so anyway.
AMB: What ?
RH: Go to appeals. You’ll no doubt get it overturned. It’ll cost you a little time and money. And that’s what this is really about. Money. Selling. Well, let’s see how bad you want it. Petitioner’s motion for injunction granted. (RH slams his hammer).
A street in Boston.
Ally McBeal.
AMB is on her way back to the office.
AMB (thinking): I had the founding fathers on my side. I mean, the Constitution, public policy and the case couldn’t be lost and... and I’ve lost it..... And Billy’s married.
AMB bumps into a walker-by (her movement that time) and do not excuse but pushes him a bit more.
Cage / Fish & associates – Hall.
Ally McBeal, Elaine Vassal, Billy Thomas and Richard Fish.
RF: I’m not going to pretend. Ally, I am feeling some shock.
AMB: I thought I argued well. The judge just seemed to have an agenda contrary to law.
EV (head growing): I filed the appeal and brought up all of our First Amendment briefs. This will head start you on your memorandum. I also clipped the hornbook pages on prior restraint.
AMB: Thank you, Elaine.
RF: I still don’t understand. You had the constitution totally on your side.
BT: All right, look, it serves no purpose to second-guess. I’m sure Ally did her best.
AMB: Don’t you stick up for me.
BT: Excuse me ?
AMB: I don’t need you sticking up for me.
BT: I’m not sticking up.
AMB: You’re sticking up.
RF: Bygones people. Look, we’ve got a big meeting. with Air National’s counsel tomorrow on this rebate case. Let’s focus on that. (to AMB) Can you brush up on your tax law ?
BT leaves.
AMB: I’ll be brushed.
RF leaves. AMB leaves the other way. EV stays here, in the middle of the place.
EV (to AMB): Whatever you need.
Cage / Fish & associates – Office of Ally McBeal.
Ally McBeal and Billy Thomas.
It’s dark outside. AMB is at her office, dealing with paper-work. BT comes in.
BT: Ally. What the hell was that back there ? Obviously our breakup has left you with some residual... feelings. Angry feelings.
AMB: No, actually, Billy, the residual feeling was hope and that’s why I... I... I... (laughing) I’m.. I’m fine, Billy. I... I just have a slight problem adjusting to change.
A woman comes in.
GT: Here you are.
BT: Georgia.
GT: You ready ?
BT: Hi. Uh.. yeah.
BT and GT kiss each other. GT is BT’s wife. AMB is shocked.
BT: (to GT) This is Ally McBeal. (to AMB) Ally, my wife, Georgia.
AMB stands up. They shake hands.
GT: Hi, nice to meet you.
AMB: It’s a pleasure.
BT: Georgia works over at Goodwin. We met in law school. She was my editor.
AMB (to GT): You’re a lawyer ?
GT: Don’t ask me why. (to BT) Well, we really should go. We have reservations at 7.
BT: Okay, I just need two seconds.
GT: Okay, I’ll hold the elevator. (to AMB) Nice meeting you, Ally.
AMB: You too.
GT leaves.
AMB: She... she... uh, she seems nice.
BT (uncomfortable): This is a memo outlining the tax analysis done on Air National. (BT gives a file to AMB)
AMB: Thanks.
BT: Ally, look we’ve known each other too well to pretend that... You were hoping she was fat and stupid (AMB smiles and sighs yes). Maybe missing a couple of teeth.
AMB: Mm-hmm.
They both look their feet.
BT: I should go.
AMB: You know, Billy you got to give me something more. You got to give something more than that. You can’t just leave me like that.
BT: All right. She snores (AMB sighs no) and the roots aren’t quite so blond, okay ?
AMB (almost crying): No, no. Something more. I need... I need one more thing.
BT: Left little toe ? (AMB sighs yes) Bunion.
AMB seems to feel better. A smile is coming but eyes are still wet.
AMB: Thank you.
BT leaves, AMB cries.
A bar in Boston.
Ally McBealk and Renee Radick.
VS sings "Tell him". AMB is dancing with a guy. RR is dancing with another one.
AMB (narrative): Whenever I’m depressed Renee makes me go dancing. I guess to cheer me up. Look at this guy [the one she dances with] If he did that in a hospital, they’d sedate him. I’m pretty good at not laughing. Renee is less good (RR’s laughing out loud). The dancing twins, we love them.
Ally and Renee flat.
Ally McBeal and Renee Radick.
AMB and RR are in the kitchen part. AMB is dealing with the coffee preparing 2 cups.
RR: If you don’t get Billings he’s going to keep doing this to other women.
AMB: I know, Renee, but let’s face it. I’m a little girl playing in an old boys’ club.
RR: All the more reason not to back down. I’ll tell you this... If I could prove that they influenced that judge I’d file the criminal charges myself.
Someone knocks at the door. RR and AMB seems surprised (unexpected coming). AMB goes to the door and opens it. GT is at the door. We can hear Theme from Psycho playing.
AMB: Georgia. Uh... long time.
GT: I’m so sorry to intrude.
AMB: No, no, no. That’s okay. Come on in.
GT enters, AMB closes the door.
AMB: Uh, this is Renee, my roommate. (to RR) This is Georgia Thomas.
RR: Hi.
GT: Good to meet you. (to AMB, uncomfortable) Can I... speak to you in private ?
AMB: Sure.
RR leaves the place. A bit later, AMB and GT are both sat on the couch in front of the chimney. Fire is off. AMB and GT are as far away from each other as it is possible.
GT: I feel so stupid for coming here. If Billy even knew... He said you two actually went on a few dates in high school.
AMB: Um... yeah. Yeah, we... we were buds. (thinks angrily) a few dates ?
GT: Reading between the lines I... I get the idea that you might still harbor some feelings toward Billy and that makes me uncomfortable. I feel embarrassed even.. even to be saying this but my policy is... is just to be truthful about things.
AMB: Oh well I have no such policy. (GT doesn’t react in any way). That was a joke.
GT: Oh.
AMB: Georgia, I’m... I’m not... I mean, you don’t have to worry. I mean, nothing is going to happen between...
GT: You do still have feelings.
AMB (scraping her neck, obviously uncomfortable): Oh, uh... listen, um... it was more than a few dates. We were... more. We were exclusive in high school... and... then again at Harvard.
GT: You... you two were in love ?
AMB: We were in... volved.
GT (sighs): So, uh... I suppose that you... you know... that... made... love.
AMB: Ye...
GT stands up trying to find breath.
AMB (standing up): Georgia, Georgia... I am... Billy is an honest guy. (GT goes toward the chimney). I mean, we both know that, and I am sure... that he downplayed our past because he knew that it would make you uncomfortable (GT sighs) and it really is the past. I’m sorry, but isn’t it something that you should hear from him ?
GT: Yeah. I just, uh... In your office today I... I picked up a vibe I’ve never felt before. I am so embarrassed to be acting... (GT eyes fall by a picture on the chimney. B T and AMB together on a couch).
AMB (tempting to explain it): Th.. th... th... that’s just a memento.
GT: I’m sorry, but I... I really hate you. I’m ashamed to admit it.
AMB: No. No. It...It...It’s okay, because I, um... I really hate you, too.
GT: Really ?
AMB: Yeah.
GT: You’re not just saying it ?
AMB: No.
AMB and GT are giggling nervously.
Cage / Fish & associates – Office of Ally McBeal.
Elaine Vassa, Ally McBeal and Billy Thomas.
EV: I just wanted you to know that the partners aren’t casting any negative assumptions. Losing is something that happens to everyone. I also reminded them it’s a difficult time when people change jobs.
AMB: I only lost one motion, Elaine.
EV: That’s what I told them.
BT comes in.
BT (to AMB): You ready ?
AMB: For what ?
BT: The depo. Jack Billings.
AMB: Oh. Uh yeah, I’m ready. Do you want to make this more about discovery or retaliation ‘cause I cans take it either way. (EV is starring at BT a passionate way).
AMB (angry): Fine. Whatever. Let’s go.
BT and EV are surprised. AMB leaves.
EV (to BT): I’m trying to get some information on her cycle.
BT leaves when RF comes in.
RF (to BT): Less taxes, Billy, not as much, reduced, deminimus.
BT: Yeah.
EV comes out going quite close to RF in her way out. She obviously did it on purpose. She is smiling.
EV (to RF): Excuse me.
Cage / Fish & Associates – Conference room.
Billy Thomas, Jack Billings, Ally McBeal and a steno.
BT: So I’m to understand you’re representing yourself in this matter.
JB: That’s what I’m doing. Whether or not you’re to understand it... is anybody’s guess.
BT: Sir, when did you first become aware that you suffered from a compulsive disorder ?
JB: Right around the time she sued me. I think it was just after. I was so jarred by the implications of what I had done. Seeing it in print, I just had to seek professional help. And my doctors - of which there are many - diagnosed me. It still hurts.
BT: Can we go off the record for a second ?
JB: Certainly. It would allow me to compose myself.
BT: We’re off. You having fun ?
JB: Yeah. I’m having a ball.
BT: Do I look intimidated to you ?
JB: As a matter of fact, you look like a young squirt who’s trying his best not to look intimidated. I’m impressed.
BT: Good, ‘cause I get even better.
JB: I would hope. ‘Cause you can’t win with the facts. So I grabbed her. Where’s the harm ? She doesn’t look emotionally wrought. The job she has now pays her more money. You can‘t just sue somebody for being wrong, Counsel. You have to show damages. Do they not teach that in law school these days ?
BT (angry): I was taught very well, Jack.
JB: Oh, big Supreme Court clerk. I’ll assume you’re blinded by the fact that you once slept with your client and that this isn’t the true reflection of your professional talent. Shall we go back on the record now ?
BT: Let’s. Back on.
AMB: Uh, let the record reflect that the deponent is a fat, arrogant, overweight, bald pig.
JB: Ooh.
Cage / Fish & Associates – Unisex.
Billy Thomas and Ally McBeal.
BT and AMB comes in.
BT: That wasn’t helpful.
AMB: Well, I wasn’t about to just sit there and let him ooze like that.
BT looks under the doors, no feet.
BT: Well you should have sat quiet. He’ll argue that your claim was retaliatory and you just gave him a little negative sound bite.
AMB: Sometimes you have to prove you’re a fighter. You’re not just some...
BT: A fighter in control. A lawyer stays at his best when he’s dispassionate.
AMB: Oh well in that case, I’m in good hands here.
BT: I beg your pardon ?
AMB: Oh, forget it.
BT: No. I want to know what you meant by that.
AMB: I mean that you have a gift for dispassion not to mention downplaying Mr. "A couple of dates in high school". Georgia told me how you characterized our past.
BT: I didn’t say a couple of dates.
AMB: Yes, you did.
BT: No I didn’t. I said we dated. Maybe Georgia told a couple of dates
AMB (angry): "We dated", that’s how you put it ? You should have told her the truth.
BT (angry): The truth ?
AMB (angry): Yes, the truth. That you loved me. You...You loved me.
BT: Yeah. That’s the truth. So much that sometimes, when we were apart, we used to keep an open phone line at night so while sleeping I could listen to you breathe. Is that what I should have told to Georgia ?
AMB is confusing. We can hear a toilet flushing. AMB and BT are surprise and look in stalls direction. RF comes out from one.
BT: Richard.
RF: I can wash my hands later. That’s okay.
BT: I looked under those stalls. You had your feet up.
RF: Oh, I’ve got an L-5 disk problem. My chiropractor advised that I sit that way. (AMB leaves, RF talks louder) Hey lucky it was me and not somebody who’s at all interested in other people’s lives.
Cage / Fish & Associates – Unisex door.
Ally McBeal and Elaine Vassal.
AMB comes out, EV is waiting for her.
EV: I’ve got the National Air Journal on three. They’re doing a piece of the erosion of the First Amendment and they heard about your big loss. Would you be interested in giving them a quote ?
AMB: Could I give it to you ?
RF arrives at them. EV leaves.
RF: Ally, about that airline case...
AMB: I can’t do that meeting.
RF: Waht ? Why not ?
AMB: I... I have a problem in conference room, meetings and ... meeting with clients.
RF: Problem ? What problem ? What’s this I’m hearing about a problem ?
AMB: I just get insecure. I don’t know. Whenever I’m in a conference room meeting I just... shrink. I feel like the clients look at me like I’m a little girl and I feel puny.
RF: You’ll be there as estrogen. Their lead counsel’s a woman who bats from the other side and the other guy’s a bit of a wolf. I was hoping you could flirt with them both (laughs).
AMB (not kidding): I beg your pardon ?
RF: Teamwork. It’s what makes us.
AMB: No, no. You can’t do this to me.
RF: What ? Do what ?
AMB: "Do what ?"
RF: Yeah Do what ?
AMB: Do what ? Bring me in here to work next to him, make me argue cases when the judge is biased against me and then put me in a room to smile at lesbians. It’s too much (She fists his elbow)
AMB leaves.
A bar in Boston – A table.
Ally McBeal and Renee Radick.
VS at the piano is singing "Drown in my own tears". AMB and RR are sat drinking some wine
AMB: It’s probably just stupid for me to work there.
RR: So leave, Ally.
AMB: I can’t leave, Renee. That would make me look weak.
RR: This is all about Billy, okay ? I know there was something special between you two but I’m going to say this for your own good. He’s a nice guy, cute little bangs. You two were like Barbie and Ken. He’s a wimp.
AMB: He’s not a wimp.
RR: Five years from now he’s nothing but one of those boring little lawyers looking over his stock portfolio playing golf at a country club with nothing left to offer you at the end of the day but a sad, limp, little piece of fettuccini and you can do better.
During this talk AMB passes from sadness to smile then to laughs.
RR: So top being in love with him.
AMB: Okay.
RR: Deal ?
AMB: Deal.
VS song lyrics reminds AMB moments from her past life with BT. Kisses under the rain.
A street in Boston leading to court.
Ally McBeal.
AMB is walking, going to the court.
AMB (narrative): Today is gonna be a less bad day. I can feel it. Sometimes I wake up and I just know everything’s gonna be... less bad.
Court – Courtroom.
Ally McBeal, Judge Hupp, Judge Williams, Judge
AMB is appealing her case for Man Made magazine.
AMB: There is no suggestion of obscenity here. Judge Hopkins’ ruling not only has no basis in law, it violates it.
JH: You know what my problem is ?
AMB (thinking): The comb-over ?
JH: These magazines print the outrageous move their product then if the story later stands to be corrected well, that happens on page 42, months later, in a foot note.
JW: Moreover, a libel claim’s only about money. It can’t restore reputation. Would Reverend Kessler truly have a legal remedy here ?
AMB: (out loud) This magazine represents democracy. (in her head) They sell sex. (out loud) It may contain material that might seem vulgar but so does Vanity Faire, Esquire, Vogue... (in her head) more sex. (out loud) And if this court is suddenly prepared to be the guardian of content, absent libel, absent obscenity then you should at least have the integrity and honesty to admit that your ruling abolishes, certainly in part, the notion of free press in America.
Judges are looking at each other.
AMB (narrative): Sometimes I’m more persuasive when I lack conviction.
Cage / Fish & associates – Hall.
Ally McBeal, Richard Fish, Jack Billings and Elaine Vassal.
AMB comes out the elevator and sees RF in a conversation with JB. Both smiling.
RF (to JB): Come on in.
RF and JB comes into the office of RF. AMB looks at EV seeking for answers. She has none. So AMB goes to the office where they came in.
Cage / Fish & associates – Office of Richard Fish.
Ally McBeal, Richard Fish, Jack Billings and Billy Thomas.
As AMB comes in RF and JB are laughing. RF is sat on his desk, JB is confortably installed in an armchair.
AMB (to RF): What’s going on ?
RF: Uh, this is private, Ally.
AMB (angry): Oh no Richard. (She slams the door after coming in) What’s going on ?
RF: Uh, I just offered to double this man’s salary if he’d come to work here. Let’s face it. Coming up with that O.C.D defense being so brazen about it, he sort of represents everything I stand for. In time I know you’ll agree.
AMB: "In time" ? Are.. are you serious ?
RF stands up from the desk and goes towards Ally taking her a bit away from JB.
RF: This is the kind of lawyer you hate when he’s on the other side but when he is on your side...
AMB: I won’t be on his side. I quit.
RF: You can’t quit two law firms in one week. It’ll leave a reek on the résumé.
RF goes back to JB.
RF (to both): Let’s work this out.
JB (to AMB): I can forgive.
AMB (to RF): You expect me to work with a man...
RF (to JB): Promise you won’t go near her buttocks even during holidays.
JB: I promise.
AMB (to RF): Are you on drugs ? Richard, he... You realize the hook you’re putting yourself on. You have knowledge of what he does. That makes you and the firm liable if he does it again.
RF: He says he won’t.
AMB (angry): Yeah but he can’t help himself, remember. He can’t control it. It’s a sickness.
RF: He made the O.C.D. thing up. (to JB) I mean you did, didn’t you.
JB: Completely, but you didn’t hear that.
RF: I didn’t have to. Got it right here. (RF picks up a tape-recorder from one of his drawer) on tape.
JB is surprised. AMB doesn’t seem.
RF (to JB): The offer of employment is revoked. The lawsuit continues on with this lovely little admission. It’s not just winning, it’s winning ugly that matters.
BT comes in. He obviously knows what happened here.
BT: Sorry, I’m late. Did I miss anything ? (to JB) Jack ?
Cage / Fish & associates – Hall.
Ally McBeal.
Later, AMB is on the phone (cell-phone) with RR. AMB is walking from RF’s office to her own.
AMB: It actually worked, Renee. He’s going to have to settle. Maybe we can get those new drapes. How far away are you ? I’m starved.
RR (on phone): I’m on the elevator.
AMB hangs up as she passes in front of EV’s office. EV is on the phone.
EV (to AMB): Oh, Ally...
AMB didn’t hear her call.
Cage / Fish & associates – Office of Ally McBeal.
Ally McBeal, Elaine Vassal, Georgia Thomas.
AMB comes in. When she arrives at her desk she sees GT sat on the couch in a dark corner of the room. It surprises her. EV comes in.
EV: You have a Georgia Thomas waiting in your office.
AMB: Thank you, Elaine.
EV closes the door letting GT and AMB alone in the office.
GT: Did you really have to tell Billy I came to your apartment ?
AMB: Well, I... I told him in a upbeat way.
GT: Look, it was wrong for me to come. (GT stands up and goes to AMB’s desk) All I was trying to say was.. well, I was admitting a difficulty, you working here. I’m sure it’ll get easier with time.
AMB (smiling): Yeah. How much time, do you think ?
We can here RR’s voice from behind the door.
RR (to EV): I don’t care. Nothing’s private for me.
RR comes in followed by EV.
EV (to AMB): Your lunch date has arrived.
RR (to GT): I hope you haven’t barged in here to be nice again.
AMB (laughing): Georgia, you... you remember Renee.
GT: Yes. (to RR) Hi.
RR: Nevermind "hi". I know what you’re up to. You think by striking up a friendship with Ally it’ll serve as some kind of prophylactic to stop her from doing hokey pokey again with Billy.
GT: I beg your pardon ?
RF comes in. EV is standing up at the door wide opened.
RF (to all): What’s going on ? It certainly sounds good.
RR (to GT): Tell him.
GT: No you tell him, you seem to have it figured out.
EV (to RF): I’ll tell. Georgia is upset with Ally for telling Billy that she showed up at her apartment. Ally is upset with Billy for denying their past and Renee seems to be angry that Georgia is being friendly with Ally as a prophylactic. I haven’t had time to suss it all out.
BT comes in.
BT: What’s this ?
EV (to RF): And now Billy’s upset...
AMB (angry): Quiet, quiet.
BT: Elaine !
RF: There’s personal stuff. Let’s just all take our lunch breaks and keep it prospective and think about this after lunch. There’ll be clients in our conference room. What we all need to remember is less taxes. Not as much, less than, reduced. lower, less...
EV: Taxes.
RF: T.. Taxes.
GT (to AMB): I’m sorry.
RR: Right.
AMB: Renee.
RR: What ?
RF: Bygones.
RF, EV, GT and BT leaves AMB’s office.
Cage / Fish & associates – Conference room.
Richard Fish, Ally McBeal, Joseph Shapiro and Joanne Wilder.
BT: Obviously you can have it in any jurisdiction you choose.
AN#1: Exactly. So why choose to bring it in a state known as "Taxachusetts" ?
BT: It’s my feeling that we exploit that mind-set. Massachusetts, and particularly Boston, is very sensitive to being labeled the tax capital of the country. This is a state that proposed taxing professional athletes pro rata for the...
AMB (thinking): Why does he have to be so cute ?
BT: They’re still feeling the backlash from that.
AN#2: Yes, but even assuming the state wants to change its image, under the code, we owe the taxes we owe. We need to go in with something more than "it’s too much"...
AMB: We could argue selective enforcement. Saying it’s tantamount to discrimination.
AN#1: Discrimination ?
AMB (shrank in her armchair): The I.R.S. goes after the airlines because of the money involved. It isn’t random. By admission, the airline industry is singled out. That’s a form of de facto discrimination.
The camera shows expression of 4 persons in the room. BT got the point, RF is thinking a lot, he didn’t get it, AN#1 and AN#2 are intrigued.
Cage / Fish & Associates – Office of Richard Fish.
Richard Fish, Ally McBeal and Billy Thomas.
RF is opening a bottle of champagne.
RF: Yes ! You were both fantastic.
AMB and BT are laughing. As RF talks, he fills glasses of champagne.
RF: I mean it, you were fantastic. I can tell you, speaking as an attorney, I did not follow anything that you said. (AMB laughs out loud, so BT does) No, I didn’t but that doesn’t matter because they did. And that is what matters because they pay the bills. (RF is finishing serving his glass) Here is to a very big account.
RF, AMB and BT are drinking.
BT: And, uh, since we have the glasses out we should welcome with a toast our new associate who, in two days, has argued and won her case before the appeals court and helped land the client we’re celebrating having landed.
RF: To Ally.
RF and AMB clink glasses (RF move).
BT: To Ally.
AMB and BT clink glasses. A long silent comes, AMB is starring at BT.
AMB (uncomfortable): Um, I got to go.
AMB leaves.
Cage / Fish & associates – Office of Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal and Billy Thomas.
AMB is at the window looking through it, crying. (the scene follows the first one, before credits). BT comes in.
BT: Ally.
AMB gasps. She turns around to BT. BT closes the door.
BT: This isn’t going to work... is it ?
AMB: Um...you could be right. Maybe you should leave.
BT: Me ?
AMB: I like this firm.
BT: So do I. I came all the way from Michigan...
AMB (in tears): Well, if you hadn’t gone to Michigan in the first place...
AMB turns around to the window for a couple of seconds then turns back to BT.
AMB: So I still love you. I’m not afraid to admit it.
BT: I still love you, but I love the woman I’m married to.
AMB: Billy, I am not looking to go down that road again. I am just admitting a difficulty. It’ll get easier in time.
BT: Yeah. How much time, do you think ?
AMB: I, um... have some work I got to do. (she goes behind her desk and puts her hands on files)
BT: Okay, well.. see you tomorrow ?
AMB: Yep. Tomorrow.
BT: Night.
AMB: Good night
BT leaves, AMB wait a second then goes to the door and closes it. Then she bumps her head repetitively to the door.
AMB: (bumps her head) I have my health. (bumps again) I have my health (once again) I have my health.
Cage / Fish & associates – Elevator.
Ally McBeal and Richard Fish.
The elevator opens, AMB comes in and press the button. As door closes, RF comes in and avoid from being touched by the door in a "acrobatic" move.
RF: Hey. Tough day ?
AMB: Well tough first week, I guess.
RF: Ally, you know, it’s really none of my business, but well, as senior partner I think I’m entitled to be avuncular now and then. Love, you know you can’t bank on it. It’s an unsafe bridge. The only thing you can really take to the bank.. money.
AMB: "Piles".
RF: Make enough money, everything else will follow. Quote me. That’s a Fishism.
AMB: Got it.
The door opens, RF gets out, AMB does too.
A street in Boston.
Ally McBeal.
VS sings "Neighborhood". AMB is on her way walking to her flat. She is thinking about past memories with Billy. First kiss together, first time together, in his arms, the graduation together, Harvard together, doing the fools under the rain together.
AMB (narrative): The real truth is I probably don’t want to be too happy or content because, then what ? I.. I actually like the quest, the search. That’s the fun. The... the more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know ? I’m having a great time, and.. and I don’t even know it.
Ending credits.